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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Can we start a 'club' for extended BFers?

189 replies

GuppinBuppin · 02/10/2006 20:25

DS just turned 1 last week. I just need some friendly support from other moms who have BF toddlers. I am definitely in the minority in RL!!

OP posts:
kittywits · 02/10/2006 20:42

Guppin, is one year considered extended feeding? I bf one of mine 'till gone two and didn't think twice about it. I always think that feeding a three year old might be extended, but one? Perfectly normal isn't? Saying that maybe I haven't got much of an idea how long most people feed for !!!

PeppermintHippo · 02/10/2006 20:50

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PrettyCandles · 02/10/2006 20:59

Well done you lot. Sad that over 12m is considered 'extended'. I fed dd to 23m, and, apart from my choosing to drop the daytime feeds at about 18m, she gradually self-weaned because she wanted to drink her milk from a beaker like her big brother.

Never occurred to me to feel uncomfortable about it. On the contrary, having struggled to feed ds at all, I was very proud of being able to feed dd. Though I did stop feeding her in feeding rooms, as I remember how I had felt with ds, and didn't want to seem to be showing off in front of other mums who might have been upset about not feeding their LOs.

queenceleste · 02/10/2006 21:02

GuppinBuppin - carry on as long as you want to (imo!) I think it is one of the most wonderful things in the world and such a shame we're shamed out of it often before we want to!
I breast fed ds openly til about a year and secretly for another year. So so glad I did. By the time he was two I had had enough some how and he didn't seem to mind much at all when I stopped. Some people say that you know when you/the child are ready.
Good luck and trust your instincts. keep thinking about that wonderful bond you're building and the immunities you're giving him - oh I'm getting all nostalgic..

queenceleste · 02/10/2006 21:05

sorry, what I meant was that I was not glad to have done it secretly (just felt too judged to be open) just glad that I did continue!

mandymac · 02/10/2006 21:08

Still breastfeeding DD at 15 months. I too don't feel like I can do so in public anymore, but that is really to do with the fact that she seems to want to swap sides so much during a feed that I basically have to have both norks out . We were down to first thing and last thing, but since she has had a virus recently, she is asking more often again. I am very lucky in that DH is totally supportive too. I'm sure all my friends who stopped earlier thing I am potty, but tough!

DD laughs with happiness now just before a feed - well as she pounces on my boobs actually - like a small voracious tiger . It's hilarious!

kittywits · 02/10/2006 22:31

I must say I never thought twice about how long I was feeding dd2. I am not an earth mother type at all. It was never a case of whether I should or shouldn't and it never ever occured to me that I shouldn't feed in public because she was older,she was only having the odd feed anyway, mainly for comfort and she was a breast woman!!! As far as I was concerned she was my baby and I fed her! She stoppped feeding anyway before dd3 arrived( when she about 2)and it was only then
that she didn't seem like a baby anymore. I don't understand the whole bizare attitude to breast feeding and when you " should" stop

TheBlonde · 02/10/2006 22:41

I fed DS til about 17 mths
Almost everyone else I knew gave up at 6 mths
After 12 mths I didn't feed much in public apart from at v baby friendly places like the gym

Rhubarb · 02/10/2006 22:43

Here's me thinking that 8 months was good going on my part!

TheBlonde · 02/10/2006 22:46

Rhubarb - every drop counts - be proud!

Rhubarb · 02/10/2006 22:47

Cheers!

Adorabelle · 02/10/2006 22:55

I have a very tall 2.4 yr old, people always think shes's at least a year older than she is.

I still feed her in public whenever she asks for
it, which isn't that often as she's usually too
interested in whats going on around her. I did find myself feeding her today though in a cafe, had a few looks in our direction but no-one seemed that bothered.

Well done all you mums who breast fed you baby for however long & I think feeding should stop
when mum and baby/child are ready to stop, not when the general public think it's time to.

prince · 02/10/2006 22:59

Can I chip in. Think you are all doin brill have fed all of mine, but youngest is now 5yrs old. Fed him till he was 18 mths and was very sad when I had to stop. Think its such a close thing to experience yet others sort of compared feeding so long to a cow!Hav six boys eldest is 30 and youngest is 5,love them to bits though. Helped in my job as I was nutrition link/ breastfeeding network link in my job as a childrens nurse.

moondog · 02/10/2006 23:06

Prince,how lovely!
Your job sounds interesting.Wher are you??

kayzed · 02/10/2006 23:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

prince · 02/10/2006 23:10

Manchester, where are you

moondog · 02/10/2006 23:11

North Wales.
Just deosn't sound like a British NHS type job.
What was /is your remit??

Adorabelle · 02/10/2006 23:14

Kayzed, what a couple of mean old bitches! I can
totally understand where you are coming from, my
dd & I had an awful 8weeks after she was born as she just didn't the whole bfeeding vibe.

Well done for expressing & giving in a bottle, most women I know who've had problems have turned
to formula within a day or two. You sound like a lovely mum.

I did laugh at your SIL feeding till 5, my Grandads nephew fed till past 6 yrs & even then it was a nightmare to get him to wean

kiskidee · 02/10/2006 23:15

dd is 17 mos and still going strong. she will climb into my lap just about anywhere and give me the look. if i don't 'get' it, she starts to lift my top. it is one thing i don't often say 'no' to her. she only started eating lumps at 13 months. still refuses to drink cow's milk from a cup or bottle. i still express milk for one feed a day at nursery. so soft i am to her. my one trump card for this is that at 17 months she has never had a course of antibiotics or suffered any tummy bugs even though she goes to nursery full time.

harpsichordcarrier · 02/10/2006 23:20

you called
it is hard to feel the odd one out, but here on mumsnet you are certainly not alone. I am feeding my 10 month old dd2, who is hugely enthusiastic about feeding and very vocal about it, making discreet public bf verrrrrrry tricky. but for me I feel like I am just starting bf, because
my 3.5 year old dd1 has recently self weaned - well almost .... she does occasionally inviegle her way to one last feed.

Adorabelle · 02/10/2006 23:22

Kiskidee, the fact that you dd has never been ill
says alot I think, especially as shes at nursery,
a hot bed for germs, bugs & other nasties.

Saying No to my dd when she asks for a feed is also something I very rarely do, the way I figure it is she's going to be feeding for such a tiny part of her life why deny her it if she really wants it?

Adorabelle · 02/10/2006 23:28

harpsichordcarrier i'm really pleased at your
post saying your 3.5 dd has (almost ) self weaned.

One of the comments I get quite alot is "She'll never stop feeding on her own, you'll end up having to prise her off" I really hope that she will wean all by herself but hey if she doesn't maybe i'll be the lady on Channel 4 feeding her teenager in 11 years time

prince · 02/10/2006 23:29

Most wards have link nurses for different specialities, chose bf and nutrition, seems the obvious one having fed my own six boys, (late starter in the nursing game) used to meet up with the the midwives as often as I could ( but difficult in the NHS as staff so ltd on wards don't often get a cup of tea on shift let alone get away and network with folk!) But tried my best still came across some nurses who didn't think much of bf (takes all sorts to make a world) Found most folk didn't even know the basics such as how to latch on and off! Midwives must have the same stupid patient load as us!

melpomene · 02/10/2006 23:32

Hi everyone. I think extended breastfeeding is far more common than many people realise. I fed dd1 til age 2 1/2 and am still feeding dd2 who is 17 months old. A lot of people (eg other mums I chat to at toddler groups) don't know I am still feeding dd2 because she rarely wants to feed in public and it doesn't necessarily come up in conversation. Sometimes I'll mention it and the person I'm talking to will say that she's still bfing her toddler too.

Can I also suggest going to La Leche League meetings if you're feeling isolated? Some local branches have special meetings for parents with toddlers and preschoolers. When dd1 was little, the LLL meetings really opened my eyes to the fact that extended bfing can be normal and healthy and that it's possible to bf in pregnancy and tandem bf etc.

prince · 02/10/2006 23:33

Moondog seems we both have an interest in sci fi was never a mills & boon girl myself

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