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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Can we start a 'club' for extended BFers?

189 replies

GuppinBuppin · 02/10/2006 20:25

DS just turned 1 last week. I just need some friendly support from other moms who have BF toddlers. I am definitely in the minority in RL!!

OP posts:
Pidge · 04/10/2006 13:05

popsy - Gosh, I would have been really upset by that. In fact it's partly fear of that kind of comment that makes me avoid feeding in public. Though also these days dd2 is too distracted and busy to want feeding when we're out and about. So she gets milk mornings and evenings.

With my first dd my MIL did make quite a few negative comments (there was mention of psychologists disapproving of my antics!). She herself breastfed 3 kids till 9 months, so that was her cut-off for 'appropriate' weaning.

Virtually everyone I know breastfed their babies, but I know no-one who has fed beyond about 14 months. So nice to see so many here ...

My dp is totally supportive, which is great. I guess I plan to feed dd2 till around age 2, which is when dd1 self-weaned. But totally happy to finish sooner or later if that's the way it turns out.

BonyM · 04/10/2006 13:06

No time to read the whole thread as I must get some housework done! Am still feeding dd2 though - she is 18mths. Usually just night and morning, and don't do it if out of the house.

I've been lucky in having nothing but positive comments from people who know that I am still feeding. In fact, my 2nd cousin has just been over from Oz - she's 77, unmarried, no children and her comment was "I'm so pleased you're still breastfeeding". One of her nieces fed her three boys until they were all 2-3yrs and they are apparently all lovely, well-adjusted and confident children.

BonyM · 04/10/2006 13:07

Oh - yes, and I've just had in the post today, the book "Mothering your Nursing Toddler" which I am looking forward to reading!

popsycal · 04/10/2006 19:27

tbh if you had seen the way the mam said ' do you think I am thick like?' and the knowing smug look I gave to my formula feeding from 1 week friend then you could have only laughed

she also shouts across the playgroup to her dd 'shannon - just hit that little idiot back then he wll bloody learn'

let her get on with her 'incense'

yellowrose · 05/10/2006 13:14

popsy - idiot woman was not only thick but should have been be slapped or something for equating bf with a sexual act. Stupid cow !

I disagree with the stuff about bf babies being intelligent BECAUSE their mums are intelligent. It is true that the vast majority of women who bf for long periods (in the industrialised world) tend to be university educated, etc, but the vast majority of women in the 3rd world who bf are NOT university educated, so the argument does not hold.

Also university education does NOT equate to high intellignece in my view, having known many so-called educated people who are very close to being on the stupid side (this includes many of my former colleagues in the City when I used to work as a corporate lawyer !!)

A very interesting study was done in Brazil which showed that poor/relatively badly educated women in Brazil who bf for over 1 year, increased their baby's chances of climbing the social ladder, i.e bf increases a child's intelligence/social mobility no matter what the mother's level of education.

Bf (the longer the better) increases a baby's chances of obtaining his full genetic IQ potential.

Adorabelle · 05/10/2006 17:46

Really interesting post yellowrose, espcially
the Brazilain study.

I'm still in at popsycal post, regarding very uneduacted woman at toddler group.

I'd go back there asap, sit next to her, whip out my norks & feed my LO right in front of her. I would love more pearls of knowledge from this womans mouth

Adorabelle · 05/10/2006 17:48

That should have read Would love to hear more pearls of knowledge!

PrettyCandles · 06/10/2006 09:18

Koshka, ebf toddlers tend to have the same (highly variable) appetite as any other babies, no matter how they have received their milk. I think that, because most babies start solids at around the same time that most bfers stop bfing, people assume that the two are not compatible. I assure you that that is not the case! Of course, the mum may want to re-think the timing of when she bfs - I doubt many of us would choose to cuddle a pureed-carrot-smeared face to our bosoms!

mrsmalumbas · 06/10/2006 14:13

Wow, this is a looooong thread, even ignoring the vitriol! I am still bf my DD who is 26 months. I feel very happy about this. I wasn't able to bf dd1, for many reasons including physical problems like big norks/inverted nipples and tongue tie but mostly because of my own insecurities and hang ups. I had got a handle on these by the time DD2 was born and although bf hasn't been easy, I had lots of problems including over supply, mastitis and god knows what, we persevered and it has got easier and more pleasurable. It's now something we do mainly at bedtime and naps, and with a long cuddle first thing in the morning. My relationship with DD2 is materially different than the one I have with DD1 and she is a calmer and happier child and yes I do put that down to the bf - not the milk per se but the closeness and cuddling, the skin contact, and the learning about one another that simply is not the same with a bottle, sorry and I know that might offend formula feeders but having done it both ways I do feel I know the difference. While I don't hide the fact that I bf here I don't advertise it, it's more of a private thing and to be honest I am glad she doesn't pull my top up in public (especially because of my big norks, it would be quite an eyeful!). I laid down with her the other day for a bf and afterwards she said to me "thank you, Mummy". That was so sweet. I am not planning any more babies and to me this is a very special thing, for both of us. Be proud of it and be happy for that special bond you have.

lisa27 · 06/10/2006 14:41

Haven't time to read all posts as off on school run but will say this.
I breastfed until 14mths when ds started to chew my nipples off for fun. So I stoppped and he was obvioulsy ready for that. BF is such a personl thing between a mum and her child. No-one has the right to pass judgement - as long as bf is being done in the spirit of what is best for mum and babe - where's the harm? Mind you, might have a sharp intake of breath if I saw a five yr old out in public bf-ing. BF rates inthis country are crap and we have such hang ups about what are tits are actually there for. And then there's the otherside of the coin - the mad, sad bf mums who look down their noses at bottle feeders without always knowing the facts. Open hearts and open minds will make things better for everyone all round...

lisa27 · 06/10/2006 14:43

By facts - I mean the reasons for bottle feeding aren't always apparent, so perhaps we shouldn't judge, although I kinow I have done in the past...

wangle99 · 08/10/2006 08:45

DS turns 3 today - it didn't feel odd feeding (not sure how I thought it would feel lol) him this morning. So I guess we are definately extended now... not sure how many people I will let know I am still feeding him though!

belgo · 08/10/2006 08:50

Well done wangle, and happy birthday to your ds! I'm not sure if I'll still be bf my one year old in two years - it seems such a long way off.

determination · 08/10/2006 22:27

Congratulations

My dd self weaned just after her 2nd birthday (Mid August), this was likely due to the fact that i am pregnant again and my supply diminished - although at the time i didn't realize. Or we would still be BFing! We both had a great nursing relationship - after the first 4 months of shere hell!.. Cracked bleeding nipples, Mastitis 4times then Nipple Confusion. Looking forward to nursing baby 2.

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