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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Can we start a 'club' for extended BFers?

189 replies

GuppinBuppin · 02/10/2006 20:25

DS just turned 1 last week. I just need some friendly support from other moms who have BF toddlers. I am definitely in the minority in RL!!

OP posts:
yellowrose · 03/10/2006 15:33

I personally don't like the term "extended". It seems to mean 6 months to some and 5 years to others !

I don't know what the best term for it is as bf-ing until a child was ready to give up was normal throughout most human history and is still normal in many culture. In fact I think it quite disgraceful that in our so-called industrilaised world bf past a certain age has to have a name at all. Can't it just be called plain old "breastfeeding" ?

I am bf-ing my 2.3 year old. He is an only child. I will allow him to self-wean, at the moment he shows no signs of doing so

He fell down onto his forehead on the pavement the other day and got a nasty bump, he immediatley did something he has not done in a very long time, ask for bf in public. I found a nearby bench (we were on the beautiful cliffs of Bournemouth on a very windy day) and fed him, he calmed down and was happy again almost instantly although his forehead had a huge bruise and some blood.

Normally when we are out all he wants to do is play and climb around, etc, never asks for bf. But that is why bf-ing a toddler is so wonderful. It is a miracle cure and soother for all sorts of things and that's why DS and I both still love doing it. In fact I can't think of a better way to soothe a sick or unhappy child

belgo · 03/10/2006 15:41

There's a recent study that shows that bf babies react less to pain - if I had more time I'd try and find it - it's only natural to bf your child if they've hurt themlselves, and extremely useful.

FillyjonkthePumpkinEater · 03/10/2006 15:42

am, it seems, extended bf. Seriously, its a year? Thats all? dd is 15 months and still tiny.

Ah well

have about 5 friends who are going strong at 2 +, so 15 months seems nowt.

cornflakegirl · 03/10/2006 15:45

Is the "miracle cure and soother" a general experience? I've seen other people on here mention it, but it doesn't seem to be true for ds. Generally a cuddle works as well, if not better. Don't know if that's just because he's mainly looked after by his dad, so that's what he's more used to?

FillyjonkthePumpkinEater · 03/10/2006 15:45

am not my thinnest ever though;. that would have been when i was 16

terramum · 03/10/2006 15:57

I hate the term extended bfing. Even saying "I am still bfing my x month/year old..." sounds a little too negative to me(. Someone on another site I go to referred to "natural-term feeding" - I quite like that .

charleymouse · 03/10/2006 16:47

I'm still feeding DD at 22 months first thing last thing and occasional tea time or nap time.

I think you are right there is a lot of extended (agree with pps about terminology but not sure what else to say) BF going on behind closed doors.

Maybe we should all be loud and proud and do it more often in public and extoll the virtues to those who ask us/query us about it. This may mean we encourage more people to continue if it becomes the norm. I have found it helps to talk to other Mums in feeding rooms but I know what you mean about looking as if you are gloating, I think seeing some older babies BF when DD1 was little helped me get through the initial difficulties and persevere.

I have just been asked by my Mum if I am going to stop BF now as am currently 5+6 weeks pregnant so DD1 does not get jealous. I just said if she doesn't stop then there is nothing to be jealous about is there, and what better way to comfort her and stop jealousy then letting her have her "Mummy Milk" (MM).

Hopefully this is not just my rose coloured spectacles and it will work out but I am currently planning to tandem feed.

I know one other RL friend who is still BF a 3.6 year old and a friend who fed all her 3 DCs for at least two years. This helped me think if it is good enough for them it is good enough for me.

The only people who have really suggested I should stop are the professionals ie HV and GP! How encouraging is that?

Agree about the comforter MM is always the best thing to stop upset and sooth bumps and bruises.

Overrun · 03/10/2006 17:03

I'd like to join too. I bf my ds1 till he was 13 months, I found out I was pregnant and decided to stop.
I am still bf twins at 23 months, always wanted to get to 2 years, not sure what will happen when they turn 2. I expect I might gradually cut down feeds, or I might continue depending on how they seem and how I feel.
90% of the time I like it a lot, but with twins, they tend to fight, it is impossible to feed one at a time, they both need to be there and occasionally come to blows as they feed on each side .
Thats when I wonder how long I will be doing it Atm, if they fight over toys or whatever while feeding I take them off.

buffythenappyslayer · 03/10/2006 17:20

im still bf dd3 and she is now 2years and 3 months.have tried stopping,but shes completely booby obsessed!

my cousin had her baby in august and started bf and said she wanted to feed for as long as pos.she rang me today,shes put her dd on bottles and given up completely on the bf.

Original poster
GuppinBuppin · 03/10/2006 17:34

WOW WOW WOW!!

I've been busy all day and haven't been able to get on the 'puter til now and I am seriously getting all teary reading this!

I love mumsnet! What a great community!

I should say that I have 3 other friends who are still bfing but my ds is the oldest. I'm in central scotland and there doesn't seem to be any LLL groups around. (please correct me if I'm wrong)

oh and pretty candles about this: "there do seem to be assumptions that if you extended bf you have a) a child who hoicks your shirt up in the middle of Tescos every ten minutes and b) no sleep because you're feeding every hour at night. But I suspect that most of the people who assume this have no experience of extended bf."

there is some truth in it!! i get no sleep cause i've feeding a lot at night. but ds doesn't lift up my shirt, oh no, he pulls it down and goes in from the top!!!!!!!!

OP posts:
buffythenappyslayer · 03/10/2006 17:39

dd hoiks my top up and shouts "give alyssa booby now,i neeeeeeed it"right in the middle of shops!

oh and if anyone comes to the door,she'll start twiddling my nipples in front of them!very embarressing for me,but the postie seems not to mind!!!

and yes,she does wake alot during the night,but am now pg again and dh has been offering her a bottle if shes sleepy enough not to notice!!(working so far!!)

Original poster
GuppinBuppin · 03/10/2006 17:41

lol buffy

gotta love the nipple twiddling!!

OP posts:
Cappuccino · 03/10/2006 17:41

I'll join.... dd2 is 21 months

I've been keeping away cos that cowmad seems very anti-cappuccinos for some reason

buffythenappyslayer · 03/10/2006 17:44

caught her the other day playing with her doll and she had lifted her top up and told dolly to have a booby!was so sweet!!!

also if dh says hes tired whilst shes feeding,she'll come off,point my boob in his direction and say "want some daddy?"

kittywits · 03/10/2006 17:47

What IS wrong with cowmad? I'm back on this thread after being the first to post and most of it's been lovely and supportive. I can understand people having differing views but those views aren't being sought here. Does Cowmad always behave like this?

Twoandabump · 03/10/2006 17:59

Hi there, I am still feeding ds of 2 and 4 months, and he is also boooby mad. I am currently 17 weeks pregnant with number 3, but he just does not want to give up!

He tends to get fed night time, first thing and nap time (and well, any other time he can get close enough loL). No intention of giving up, whenever he is ready.

Will seehow the tandem feeding goes in March then!

FillyjonkthePumpkinEater · 03/10/2006 18:04

oooh, she has a special thread to herself now, kitty.

there is a theory that she is cod. I don't care. She's just bloody rude, IMO.

FillyjonkthePumpkinEater · 03/10/2006 18:10

come in, come in, the more the merrier

though perhaps the comment should just be reported. Dunno. Pass.

lemonaid · 03/10/2006 18:14

I'm bf 20-month old DS (most days only first thing and last thing, although sometimes more often at weekends and days off). Plan to keep going until he self-weans.

yellowrose · 03/10/2006 18:15

cornflake, I think there are biological, hormonal reasons whu babies/toddlers are soothed by bf, it must also have to do with the skin to skin contact and smell of the mother.

The fact your child is also soothed by his father and a cuddle is great. Yes, it must be the fact that he spends a lot of time with his father. I was lucky that my DS was always able to be soothed by DH as well as me. In fact when DS was a newborn, DH was often able to soothe him and settle him better than me at night, because babies have a strong smell sense for bm and it must freak them out to smell it all the time !

I often say to DH that I wish I could go away on my own for a week and if it weren't for DS still bf 3 - 4 a day, I could do just that. I have suggetsed that DH lactates so I can have a week's break on my own

yellowrose · 03/10/2006 18:20

Oh, please may I add that I was NOT in Bournemouth last week for the Conservative Party Conference, I was there because my mum lives there !

fullmoonfiend · 03/10/2006 18:35

I b/f both mine til around 15 months. TBH, wish I hadn't caved in to peer/society pressure and carried on...(though both times I stopped as I really needed some serious sleep and thought it was about time I had my body back to myself.
Good for you lot, you make me feel all fluffly and nostalgic

Original poster
GuppinBuppin · 03/10/2006 18:35

I keep switching between being really glad that DS still BFs and being er, not so glad. Although TBH today I was with a bunch of friends and their babies and I thought 'how on earth do you sooth your babies without sticking them on the boob?' (yes, i know lots of people do it. the point I'm making is that I don't know how to sooth my DS any other way!)

OP posts:
belgo · 03/10/2006 18:35

Isn't it ironic that we come on a thread like this to get away from negetive bf attitudes then we encounter them here as well?

Tatties · 03/10/2006 18:36

Can I join in? I am bf 18mth old ds, and really wouldn't be without it. I would never get him to sleep for one thing...

I think it's really good to have other BFers to moan to. I mean it is wonderful and all that but sometimes I have days when I think "will you just get off me!" But of course you can't mention it because people just tend to tell you to stop...

I am actually finding it quite intense atm, ds wants to feed all the time and I am wondering when this might tail off? I don't feel happy leaving him for too long because he gets upset

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