Never thought BF counld be so hard

[Gina1981]

DD is over 8 weeks now and EBF, but I never thought it was going to be this hard!

Ive been to bf clinic twice this week as I've been so close to giving up! I've started many threads on here re feeding as its been so difficult!

After 8 weeks of question re poo colour, being unsettled bla bla I've now come to the conclusion that she isn't getting a full feed and snacking instead! Sol I'm now on a journey to resolve this! If I'm being honest in so tired and fed up I'm now thinking is any of this worth it!

I don't know how long to keep going until I lose my mind! I have 2 other DC and I hardly have any time for them!

Advice please xxx

Seriously my DSs did not have a 'routine' at this stage either. One was slightly more inclined to follow a 3 hrly pattern - so I fed him about 7-8 times per 24 hours: approx 0700,1000,1200,1500,1700,1900,2300,0300. This is etched on my mind, for much the same reasons as you (felt tied down by it, worried it wasn't "working", plus 3 bouts of mastitis and thrush). The other was more of a free spirit, and I was more inclined to go with it, and he also snacked every 2-3 hours until he was about 6mths. The first dropped his night feeds at 11mths, the second at 20 months. They are all different, and there is no set 'pattern' for a baby. I think all the books that get published these days make it sound like you can impose a routine on them, but TBH it only really works if you have a baby who naturally conforms to that sort of regime.

I understand totally your desperation at this stage. Like I said above, I had the bottle of formula made up and ready to go one evening at around the 10wk stage. At the time the only reason that made me continue was the fact that we were taking DS on holiday abroad at 14wks and I was more stressed about the idea of taking formula and making it up with some foreign brand of mineral water (and inadvertently overdosing him with salt, etc. etc.) and for that reason - convenience - alone I persevered.

If you decide to go the formula route, no one would judge you for it. But perhaps you have it in you to go a few more days or weeks with the BFing, to see if you 'turn the corner'. In the meantime, is there anything you can do to ease up on all your other responsibilities? Do you have to do the school run or have you a DP or friend that could help out a bit? Could you let the house slide for a few more weeks, eat more simple or pre-prepared food etc.? Sometimes we want our babies to fit in with external demands, but sometimes external demands can be shuffled around to fit in with them.

Whatever you decide, you've given your DD a fantastic start

Gina, you're expecting a lot of a baby who has had tongue tie, a tongue tie snip, several weeks of struggle with a (too) generous supply, and only a few days of block nursing to 'fix' it....and all the other issues over this (short) time. There's no reason why she (and you) would be in a routine after all that.

Formula would be a big change for her, with no guarentee that it would make life any better for either of you (and you would also be coping with gradually reducing a large milk supply, without engorgement/mastitis discomfort.

Hang on in there :)

Gina.... I have read most of your posts. Well done for breast feeding as long as you have, my LO had a 100% tongue tie that was noticeable even when he yawned! Once he had it freed he didn't latch properly and he was feeding erratically and bit sleeping. I was not as strong as you and I started him on formula. He changed into a completely different baby and it felt like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders. He now sleeps through and has done since 6 weeks old. I am only telling you this through my point of view. You LO could be completely different. But whatever the outcome I hope you sort it out in the end xxx

*not sleeping not bit lol

I've been blocking feeding over a week now! Which I've stopped now as DD hasn't been feeding often!! I don't want my milk supply to completely dry up! Is it a good sign that my breasts feel softer?

Yes, the soft breasts are usually a sign that your feeding is becoming more established. And it might be that the oversupply issue is resolving. If you think this is the case (from the cues you're getting from your baby re. less clicking, spitting up) then perhaps now you might switch from one breast to the other after a shorter interval (3-4hrs). Hang on in there and try to take it easy on yourself. Honestly, I really think that if you can get through another couple of weeks things will become much easier. Your baby will be that bit older, your milk supply well established, you will get through this.

Woke up this morning and R breast was engorged! DD is clicking like crazy and isn't latched on at all properly!

It keeps going from one extreme to the next! 10 weeks is along time to keep going round and round in circles!!

Hello Gina. How has the day gone? Did things improve during the morning? What are you doing re. block feeding. How has your DD been? Do you make a note of feeds/duration/RB v LB etc. Might that help you feel more in control of things? (Or would it just stress you out?!) How are you other 2 doing? Is your family supportive of your efforts to continue with BFing? If it helps to post on here, am happy to hear how things are going. All the best.

Today hasbeen much better - it'seems that DD is a little snuffly today! i'm guessing that is what the problem was over the weekend! Problem is that she isn't latching on properly at all and it's like we've gone back again and not forward! There is an awful lot of clicking and sounds like she is slurping rather than sucking!!

I'm only offering her the one breast per feed and the same breast for a period of 3-4 hours. I think that my milk supply has reduced but i was worried over the weekend that if i carried on block feeding and dd wasn't feeding as much that my milk supply would have reduced even more! I get so confused!!

I'm very determined to make this work but i have to give myself a "deadline" if you like, as i can't carry on like this day in day out!

The other 2DC are ok - We are currently living with DM as we sold our house and haven't found anything yet! DM helps alot and am very grateful for everything she is doing but i need to start doing things as i'll never go back to being the person i was! It's like the bf has taken over! I know this isn't normal but i'm so determined for it to work that it's all i think about!!

I just want to do the best for DD but is it worth it when everyone else is suffering!!

Gina glad you sound so much more upbeat today - although not out of the woods yet. Can I just say I think that what you're experiencing is pretty 'normal' - insofar that it's my experience of BFing too. I had read 'the first 2 months are so hard but then it gets better', and with DS1 it definitely took 12 wks until I felt we had it sussed. You are doing brilliantly. Good that you have your DM to fall back on a little - if she is happy to support you, then go with it for a bit longer; am sure you'll have opportunities to pay her back in the future, and - as you know - we mums will do anything for our kids - even when we're grandmas. Your older DCs may - temporarily - be getting less attention than they're used to, but you're setting a valuable example to them - normalising BFing for future generations and showing them how difficult but worthwhile it is. Good for you.

Thank you ladies! The support and advice is greatly appreciated! I'm sure by 12 weeks we would have cracked it!! And if not then I know I gave it my all! I will remain positive!! It's amazing how different each DD has been! Feel like a 1st time mum again!!

Hello there. Nappymaestro don't feel sad about solids, BM is a great compliment as your baby starts solids, and should still form the major basis of their diet for the next few months. There is no reason not to continue feeding into your LO's 2nd year if you want. But you don't need me to tell you that

Well done Gina, you are staying soooo positive. I think you are right about them all being different. My DM (she had 4) used to say that you could have 100 children and they'd all be different... The mind boggles ...

As we approach 11 weeks, bf still isn't what I expected it to be! I still have a fast let down and DD isn't feeding "properly"!! Her latch hasn't changed much and feeding can be painful at times!! I don't know whether to go to bf clinic again as I'm not sure how they can help me further!!

I'm thinking will I wake up one morning and it will fall into place or will I struggle month after month?!?!

I don't want to speak too soon but we've had alot less green stools!! Which must mean something! The oversupply isn't as bad as it use to be, but still have the odd occasion where I'll wake up quite engorged!

Gina - all that sounds better than it's ever been, and if you compare what you have written here just now with a couple of weeks ago, then it's clear things are gradually falling into place :)

The fewer green stools is linked to the control of the oversupply.

Tiktok things have improved to a certain degree and tbh I have no idea how I've got through it, especially when there's a way out!!

I do hope things improve as the thought of going day in day out like I have for the past 3 months doesnt appeal to me at all!!

Quick question - how many feeds should DD have now that she is 11 weeks? Or is it still on demand??

There's never any real justification for not feeding according to a baby's needs and requests - 'demand feeding' is not a good phrase, as it does not reflect this very well :)

Just feed according to what your baby seems to ask for, Gina :)

I'm trying to figure out why DD wants to feed frequently and am thinking is it because I'm not offering both breasts?? By now at 11 weeks into bf, is my milk well established that there is less foremilk and the consistency starts to change quicker than before? Or am I being silly in asking these questions? Hours can go by before the next breast is used, for example my R breast hasn't been fed from since 9.50am!! I am still so confused with it all!!

Hi, Gina. After the two weeks or so of block feeding you have been doing, you will have adjusted your supply downwards just fine. This means you will have proportionately more fat/less water in your milk than before, because these ingredients change with the volume of milk available in the breasts. Breasts that are less full = higher in fat. Breasts that are very full = lower in fat (and higher in water). The water is where the lactose is :) The lactose is what can gripe babyies' tummies a bit, and create green poos. Green poos are just fine and do not mean there is anything 'wrong'....but in your case it seemed to reflect the over-supply issues you were facing.

At first, when your baby changes the breast she is feeding from, the previously unused breast will be very full....but my guess would be it does not stay very full, and when she comes to it next time, it's not especially engorged. Am I right?

You seem as if you are feeding in 6-7 hour blocks which some very generously-providing mothers find they need to do.

The idea that milk changes during a feed is sort of right - but short gaps between feeds from the same breast probably don't produce foremilk and then hindmilk, and the milk will not be all that differentiated.

If what you are doing is working for you, and it sounds as if it is, then there is no need to worry about being confused. If your baby is feeding more often than before it does not matter - she may well change to even more often/a bit less often just.....er, just because :)

The oversupply isn't much of an issue as it use to be!! I still get the occassionsl very full breast and until I feed from that breast it remains full!!

I spoke too soon about the green poos, they have returned but I'm guessing its because DD has a cold at the mo! Has done for over a week! I thought they don't last too long when they are bf?!!?

Nothing wrong with green poos - and they are very common when the baby is fighting a cold. Some bf babies poo green all the time. It does not matter.