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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Never thought BF counld be so hard

275 replies

Gina1981 · 12/01/2012 17:27

DD is over 8 weeks now and EBF, but I never thought it was going to be this hard!

Ive been to bf clinic twice this week as I've been so close to giving up! I've started many threads on here re feeding as its been so difficult!

After 8 weeks of question re poo colour, being unsettled bla bla I've now come to the conclusion that she isn't getting a full feed and snacking instead! Sol I'm now on a journey to resolve this! If I'm being honest in so tired and fed up I'm now thinking is any of this worth it!

I don't know how long to keep going until I lose my mind! I have 2 other DC and I hardly have any time for them!

Advice please xxx

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Milly22 · 20/01/2012 21:34

Ok, breast is best, so I've heard. I have two dc, both born by c-section due to complications and didn't have any milk whatsoever with my first, didn't realise this until my second and the milk came in but he was just starving all the time. I turned to bottle for my sanity and my baby's hunger. All this giving birth naturally and breast feeding pressure might be the ideal but as individuals we have to do things that'll make everybody happier and sometimes out of our control. Don't beat yourself up about it. Do things your way as long as you're happy and staying positive!

usingapseudonym · 20/01/2012 21:56

I've got oversupply issues (noone seems to take the "problem" seriously as it means the baby is gaining weight easily and I'm feeding fine).

I'm not too sure what the problem here is though - it seems your baby is sleeping through the night (already! wow! I'm envious! That's kind of unusual) and you're feeding roughly 3 hourly. Isn't that pretty good, better than textbook even? We're feeding a lot, sometimes every hour but I thought 3 hours was about right.

Gina1981 · 21/01/2012 13:17

DD is not sleeping through anymore! She woke up 3 times in the early hours and cluster fed from 5ish to 9ish last night!

I have seen a huge improvement in her poos and think that's because the block feeding has started to work! I'm tired of the detective work now and going with flow! However I am feeling like a zombie this morning! I definitely dont want to turn to formula! Taking each day as it comes as each day is so different!!

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showtunesgirl · 21/01/2012 13:43

My DD is 8 weeks and she wakes up about 3 times a night and also cluster feeds nearly every evening. I think expecting your LO to sleep through every night might be asking a bit much right now.

usingapseudonym · 21/01/2012 14:24

That all sounds very normal though gina so i'm not sure what it is you're expecting of your baby. Your baby sounds better than most to be honest !

nappymaestro · 21/01/2012 15:55

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nappymaestro · 21/01/2012 15:55

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lagrandissima · 21/01/2012 16:41

Glad to hear the poos are improving, and you're feeling less inclined to stress it out. The night time wakings are pretty standard (as you'll know), although exhausting for you. Are your two older DCs at school? If so, you could try getting your head down if your baby naps in the day - it might be that she naps better in the day for you if she's up a bit at night? Or perhaps you could ask a friend to take your DD for a half hour walk in her pram whilst you get your head down in the afternoon? Whatever it takes to get some shut-eye and feel more human. Hard, hard work, and you are doing brilliantly.

Gina1981 · 21/01/2012 16:44

Thanks nappymastro, it's been a tough couple of weeks when I 1st started the thread! everyone's advice has been fantastic! Im beginning to enjoy bf now so I'm hoping it's going to be more enjoyable from now on!

I keep telling myself this will pass but to enjoy it! 3dc are enough for us so this is the last time we are going to do this!

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ALotToTakeIn · 21/01/2012 18:26

To begin with she only ever fed for 10 mins tops and clicked through every feed. Now we have lovely long sniffly feed of up to 40 mins but for the initial let down there is a lot of arm waving and clicking and quite often a choke or two. I have also found burping her one the flow has slowed a bit seems to help.
Glad to hear things are improving Grin

ALotToTakeIn · 21/01/2012 18:28

I meant snugly not snifly stupid auto correct! And yes she fed almost hourly for a long time.

Gina1981 · 23/01/2012 09:14

DD is now not sleeping at all and hardly wants to feed! I'm so worried about her that I don't know what to do!

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tiktok · 23/01/2012 09:58

:( :(

Gina, things sound tough for you.

I think one thing that will help is to take a look at the bigger picture. At the moment, you are reeling from thinking everything's now going well, to everything's now terrible.

Changes in feeding and sleeping and so on are rarely dramatic and instant with any baby. Instead, they change more gradually with hiccups and step-backs along the way....with the overall picture changing over days and weeks, not hours.

At the weekend you said you are taking each day as it comes as each day is so different....that's the way to think about it.

Basically, your dd is healthy and growing ok. She is not ill. She has a typical young baby's sleeping pattern which is not very predictable. She is sometimes fussy and difficult to soothe. Sometimes, she seems to want to feed but when you offer she fights....that's confusing and upsetting, but from what you have said over the past week, this is happening a bit less. Good :)

It might help to pinpoint what it is that worries you about her. Not her health - that's ok, I think, yes? Or her growth? Her feeding seems improved and less worrisome now, is that the case?

Is it that you're worried about not always knowing how to ensure she is happy and comfortable? And you get distressed when she and you can't seem to understand each other?

If you can figure out what it is that's making you worried, you can then work on fixing it.

Gina1981 · 23/01/2012 13:17

Tiktok DD went from feeding frequently and latching on better to only having one feed so far! She went from sleeping to not sleeping at all! She doesn't settle at all! My breast are feeling so full where she has hardly fed in 24hrs! Surely they are getting the signal that milk isn't needed as much!

Is it possible that she just no longer wants to breast? Rather than suckin she isn't feeding at all well! Of course I'm worried about her as if she isn't eating then she won't be putting on weight! I can't cope with get if I'm being honest as I've not slept in days!!

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tiktok · 23/01/2012 13:22

Gina :(

All was well at 4.45 pm yesterday afternoon.

She may not have fed well since then - and you are right to be concerned, and to think of what to do. Has she really not fed at all in this time? Has she really not slept at all? What happened with the block nursing?

Things may sort themselves out - things don't stop functioning in that short time. All babies have an off day every so often, and things do right themselves.

Gina1981 · 23/01/2012 13:42

It was Saturday afternoon I posted! Ironically after I posted things got worst! DD hasn't slept at all during the day and managed to fall asleep at 1am this morning and woke up at 7.30am and that is when she fed last!

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tiktok · 23/01/2012 13:49

Sorry - got day wrong!

What happens when you offer her a feed?

Gina1981 · 23/01/2012 13:56

She doesnt open her mouth wide enough like she use to! She doesn't suck like she use to! Lots of slurping rather than sucking! And then comfort sucking rather than feeding! Offered a dummy but she won't take it.

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tiktok · 23/01/2012 14:01

Is this her getting used to her 'new' TT-free mouth, do you think?

Or could be it that your supply has settled with the week or so of block nursing and she is feeding differently as a result? She has no 'fire hose' effect to cope with, now.

Is she happy enough as long as you are not trying to get her on/keep her on/change her latch?

Gina1981 · 23/01/2012 14:15

I don't think having her TT freed has made a difference! My supply has calmed down but my let down is still quite fast! Before the weekend she was working for her feed and coping and latching on better! I don't know what has changed!!

She has slept a little more today hence why she isn't feeding! But when she has fed it's been very lazy and short! Over the weekend if she wasn't on the Breast she would be crying and nothin would settle her!

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tiktok · 23/01/2012 14:37

Maybe do as you said before, and expect each day to be different :)
Short feeds are ok - can't really judge anything by them.

See what tomorrow brings - no sign she is poorly or anything, from what you say, so things may well be different again :)

lagrandissima · 23/01/2012 15:54

Gina, sorry to hear you / your DD still struggling. But this may be a temporary set back - she might be tired from a growth spurt, coming down with a cold, just being a baby. If she fell asleep at 1am this morning, perhaps she is just tired today and trying to catch up. Maybe you could try to wake her around now (assuming she's napping) and get her to latch on and take a feed or two before bedtime. Remember too that, as she gets bigger, she may not need to spend so long at the breast for a feed. Try to get an early night yourself too, it's far harder to cope and not get disillusioned when you are tired yourself.

The first few months of babyhood are such hard work; you hear of these miracle babies who sleep through from 4 weeks and are in a 'routine' etc. - neither of mine had read the textbooks. But I think it can be harder when you're BFing - you can't see what your baby is consuming, you're the one responsible for her feeding (so no time off / DP administering a bottle), and it can sometimes be fraught with difficulties - 'good' latches, blocked ducts, spitting up etc. Even though you're an old hand at parenting by now, every baby is different and the advantages that your experience gives you might sometimes be outweighed by the extra work of looking after your other DC, cumulative tiredness, guilt at being focused on the new baby etc.

It's a really tough time, and you're doing superbly. I admire your bloody-mindedness and determination. Let us know how you get on.

Do you think taking your DD to the HV clinic for a weigh in might help settle your mind that she is still putting on the ounces? Or do you think that might stress you out more if she's plateauing for a week? With DS1, I went religiously (probably because I struggled more with the feeding), whereas with DS2 I went twice in a year. For me, when BFing was hard, the hard evidence that he was growing seemed to help.

Good luck.

Gina1981 · 23/01/2012 16:26

I really can't cope with the inconsistency. I can't get anything done as my time is consumed by all of this! I'm simply going round the bend and am thinking will DD be better off with formula!?!? I just don't know anymore! I don't remember it being this hard with the other 2 and I just can't function like this'

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tiktok · 23/01/2012 16:49

Aw, Gina.....problem is, formula feeding is not a guarentee of making 9 week old babies consistent. Inconsistency is part and parcel of being a baby.....

Is there anyone you can talk to in real life about this - not really the feeding specifically, but your feelings about not being able to be consistent and feeling overwhelmed? HV?

Gina1981 · 23/01/2012 18:47

I spoke with my HV today! DD is 10 weeks old tomorrow and I thought we would be in some sort of a routine! I need to be for my sanity more than anything else! Surely DD should have settled by now?

What will happen to my milk?

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