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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

High need baby support thread

1000 replies

LittleWaveyLines · 16/11/2011 14:21

Does this sound like your baby?

  1. Feeds frequently daytime
  2. Feeds frequently nighttime
  3. Needs to be constantly held
  4. Wont sleep alone
  5. Hates the car seat/pram
  6. Short naps

If so - join the club! :)

OP posts:
tickleme63 · 18/11/2011 09:54

Glad you're feeling better girlies :) I am too. Miraculously DS slept from 7.30pm to 11.30pm, fed and back down till 2.30am, fed and back down till 5.15am, fed and back down till 7ish.

Feeling quite refreshed compared to normal, so yay.

He's fighting his morning nap as usual though...

fraktious · 18/11/2011 09:55

jan a proper correctly adjusted sling shouldn't be making your back hurt. What are you using? Can you get to a sling meet for some advice?

DS was really fab til lunch, then we had a highchair related meltdown which continued through sluicing and has only been solved by boob Sad he gets into such a paddy!

JeewizzJen · 18/11/2011 10:00

Wow tickle that sounds like a great night! Great stuff!

Mampig · 18/11/2011 10:03

Tickle- long may that last!! Sounds like progress- at least you know it can be doneSmile

LittleWaveyLines · 18/11/2011 10:06

wow tickle that's fab!

Oh dear fraktious hope all is sunny again now

OP posts:
tickleme63 · 18/11/2011 10:53

Aye keeping fingers crossed, but he tends to do this once in a while just to tease us, and then has a bloody awful night the day after, little toerag! Grin

TitaniaP · 18/11/2011 11:03

I've just had the best morning in a very long time (rubbish night though). Took DS to the hospital for Paed appt. He's put on 11oz in a week and a half (the most he's ever gained and has crossed the 0.4 centile line. He was really smiley at everyone in the hospital and Paed says his development is absolutely fine. He's now fallen asleep in the car seat (unheard of)

What more could I ask for (except maybe more than 3 hours uninterrupted sleep)?The nurses in the hospital said is he usually this smiley? I said yes if he's being cuddled - try putting him down and then see what happens..

I second the comment about a good sling not hurting. I had bad SPD when I was
Pregnant which still hasn't totally gone and I carry my DS everywhere with no issues. Although it might help that he's so light!

Hoping everyone else has a good day and those that had a rubbish night get some rest over the weekend.

tickleme63 · 18/11/2011 11:07

Yay TitaniaP! Grats on your weight news! :) Love the 'Put him down and you'll see' line... I use that one often... :op

ShowOfHands · 18/11/2011 11:34

I don't know if it will reassure you to know about my HN baby. She wanted to run from birth. None of this lying down business. None of this being held back by physical limitations. She had to be upright at all times, moved around the room to look at things, would not roll, sit, crawl etc and didn't give up until she was standing up and moving at 7 months, she never, ever slept in the day, was up from 6am till at least 10pm without sleeping, fed at least 2 hourly for the first year, thought prams/carseats instruments of torture and just getting her to sleep in an evening, even for half an hour, took hours and hours of frustrated trying. I was on my knees, had ptsd and pnd after a horrific delivery with her and she was gaining weight ridiculously (26lbs at 26 weeks) on bm alone as I was just losing myself physically and mentally. Not once in a year did I manage to put her down without her screaming like we were killing her. Pick her up and she stopped immediately. She needed input 24/7.

She's 4 and a half now and oh my goodness is she brilliant. She is bright, funny, caring, beautiful, independent, sociable, able and straightforward. Today she's got up, made me a cup of orange juice and a bowl of cereal, made her own breakfast, got dressed and ready for school, written a note to her baby brother saying she loves him, brushed my hair and cuddled me before going off to school for the day singing. She is the loveliest child, asks for nothing, loving and wonderful. It was all so, so, so worth it. And somehow she sleeps 7pm till 7am without a peep. Actually, she wakes up, I hear her but she sings, cuddles her doll, rearranges her duvet, has a drink of water and a wee and then gets back in bed. She manages herself.

I've had ds recently and I was terrified. He's nowhere near as bad as dd. I think he's probably slightly high needs, feeds ridiculously (same weight gain as dd), will never lie down, does not like other people and despises the carseat/pushchair (though has to go in them due to the school run). But I'm managing better because I know that it won't last.

I just wish my mother would back off. She insists on holding ds, he screams because my mother wants to cuddle him lying down while he coos up at her and it just will not happen. So she hands him back, I calm him and return him to grandma and she puts him down declaring 'he has to learn'. He immediately starts with the red faced screaming. Having dd too there have been times where I've had to leave him occasionally and he will vomit through the stress of being left. My Mum will not have it. She's of the rod for your own back school. And her babies never cried apparently. Oddly, my Dad tells a different story.

LittleWaveyLines · 18/11/2011 12:32

ShowOfHands thank you for that light at the end of the tunnel. You must be proud! Smile

OP posts:
Albrecht · 18/11/2011 14:06

Oh gosh reading all the new posts has taken me right back. Yes to a certain extent all babies are hard but when you take them out and other mothers say "What is wrong with him?" and you can only say, "he's always like this... isn't yours?"

But really hold on to the fact it gets easier, although not easy-peasy and better in that they are funny and delighted with their achievements. Yes ds gets frustrated and has tantrums, tries to boss me about but its so much more pleasant than those baby days. He even tolerates the car seat now!

I don't know if I have adapted to the sleep or I am actually getting more but its managable.

If I can offer any advice, accept any help to get sleep or a break. Its hard work and you will do it better with a refreshed mind. Do not feel guilty, they are what they are (Dr Sears book is great for this). And don't feel you need to force them, they don't have to learn, you have to survive.

buttonmoon78 · 18/11/2011 14:52

showofhands you make my ds1 (who is 4.5) sound like an utter dunce Grin

Though he was a v easy baby so who knows if there is a correlation after all!

JeewizzJen · 18/11/2011 16:28

showofhands thankyou for that really lovely post, your DD sounds amazing. For all the hard work DS is, I do believe he's worth every second, even when it feels unbearably difficult. Your post totally bolstered my faith!

Queenkong · 18/11/2011 16:42

These last few posts have made me feel all squidgey, thanks Show. I agree that, while hard work, my 'spirited' son is a lot of fun. Just been for a long lunch with DH and DS kept us entertained by grabbing everything in reach, trying to throw himself kamikaze-style off our knees and shrieking with frustration delight. Much more entertaining than the calm, passive baby sat a few table away although a bit more embarrassing when he started loudly 'hehehe-ing' at my boobs.

ShowOfHands · 18/11/2011 16:56

My midwife and health visitor both said when dd was little that she was destined to be v bright. Now a very large part of me thinks they were lying to get me through. I mean she was 6 weeks old and I was on my knees. I genuinely thought there was something wrong with her. But they were adamant and right. And not necessarily just academically though she's been reading/writing etc for quite a while but she's emotionally bright. That sensitivity to her environment translates now into awareness of situations. Her absolute stubborn refusals and determination means she doesn't give in. And she's kind which is her best feature. She will give you her entire cake if she thinks it would make you happy. I think she just wanted to be part of the world, not lying on her back letting it go on around her. And now she can do it all of her own volition, she's just a sunny, happy girl.

But oh God there were black days. I had given up on joy. It was suffocatingly bad some days.

EauRouge · 18/11/2011 19:53

Your DD sounds lovely SoH, you must be so proud of her :)

onholidaywithbaby · 18/11/2011 20:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Albrecht · 18/11/2011 21:45

ShowOfHands, when they give me that line about "probably very bright" I ask for a thick easy one instead.

onholiday Ds went through that phase, wouldn't feed unless in our quiet dark bedroom. However, sometimes you have to get out for your sanity (and they need to know there is a world out there). As long as we aren't talking about a newborn they can go a while with little milk and just accept you will be making up for it once you are home.

LittleWaveyLines · 18/11/2011 22:13

Ha! I get that line given to me too - I'm sure it's just to make you feel better! Grin

OP posts:
redwallday · 19/11/2011 06:23

Im joining. But Ive been up for 3 hours solid now and cant think straight. Had 2.5 hours sleep. Everytime I put her down she wakes up :(

She's 18 weeks today!

buttonmoon78 · 19/11/2011 08:08

Mine too outfoxed! Happy birthing day!

redwallday · 19/11/2011 08:34

Thanks button, you too! Not so happy tho, it appears the night waking and screaming is because we have a high temperature! :(

ShowOfHands · 19/11/2011 09:45

outfoxed Sad about the temp. Happy 18 weeks. We're on 11 weeks today.

I lived in fear of illness. Just when you thought it couldn't get harder you'd get pain, snottiness etc on top of it.

I was thinking about it this morning at 5am (sort of while doing ANOTHER feed, but really it was the 11pm feed, merging with the midnight feed, linking seamlessly to the 1am feed and so on and so forth...) and what I think was hardest first time round and certainly this time round, now that I have the mental acuity to realise it, was the inability to ever switch off. There was no down time. Everything had contracted down to this little thing which sapped everything I had. I couldn't think back to what life was like before because it seemed unreal, couldn't remember hours before even. Looking forward was terrifying because I just assumed it was only ever going to be more of the same, couldn't think of even how I'd get out the house and round the shops intact and all I wanted was to be me again. Just for 5 minutes. Just to sit. I couldn't imagine ever laughing at stand up comedy again or dancing to the radio or reading a chapter of my book and remembering what I'd just read 3 minutes later.

I do think the one thing I'm better at this time is handing ds over and walking away. Because sometimes I need to. Especially as I have a 4yo who I'm determined to enjoy.

Right, am going Christmas shopping. It will either be brilliant or bloody terrible.

LittleWaveyLines · 19/11/2011 10:06

Hope it's brilliant ShowOfHands!

Well I was coming on here to whinge about my crappy night's sleep, but buttonmoon and outfoxed probably trump mine - 2 hourly feeds until 4am when it was hourly until she woke at 7....

I've had a very clingy little thing recently - I think it's because she's trying to crawl (at 20 weeks!!) and she's getting very over tired in the evenings so bedtime has got earlier and earlier. Anyone else encountered this?

She keeps wanting to be put down - great eh? Trouble is every time I put her down she wants to try crawling, gets frustrated within about 10 seconds and then wont be put down for an hour... and she doesn't know what she wants!

OP posts:
Mampig · 19/11/2011 10:12

I know what u mean Show! Every time I have another baby, I find that life slows down to a stop, and everything revolves around the baby, particularly when very young. Gradually though, as they get older, into routine and a bit less vulnerable, I can let go a bit and start visiting friends or a meal out. I don't run before I can walk, when the time is right, you just know. I usually know I've turned the corner when I invite friends for dinner- mind you, hasn't happened this time yet Wink. Enjoy your shopping- what's the worst can happen GrinWink!!

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