High need baby support thread

[LittleWaveyLines]

Does this sound like your baby?

1. Feeds frequently daytime
2. Feeds frequently nighttime
3. Needs to be constantly held
4. Wont sleep alone
5. Hates the car seat/pram
6. Short naps

If so - join the club! :)

LittleWavey- Crawling!!!!!!!! A hn crawling baby, what fun!! ( ok so she's just trying but ykwim!!)

Mampig - I know

Actually I'm hoping that once she's mobile she will be a bit happier as I'm sure a lot of her problem is frustration...

When are they actually supposed to start crawling? She can already commando crawl inch her way around, but it obviously takes a massive effort from her....

None of mine crawled- I had bum-shufflers. But I think from around 6 months they can start to crawl. I might get a crawler this time though- he's very happy on his tummy (others weren't) and when he is on his back he can do full circle!

Yes ds was desperate to move - he did the full circle too! And constant arching of his back, twisting etc. And he was a lot happier when he could crawl and now walk. But my lord do you need to babyproof...

Oh yes DD is doing full circles as well... ooh got tp go grumpy child!

Woohoo DP is home and I escaped to the supermarket on my own for half hour yesterday! That's the first time in a week anyone but me has held DS. Amazing how 30 mins in a rammed supermarket on a Saturday can feel like bliss.

How's everyone else doing?

We took DS along to a family meal fir my grandads 80th birthday and I was expecting the worst - being passed around by lots of unfamiliar people was bound to end in an overstimulated mess. However he was a delight, and made my grandads day by chirping and smiling at him almost constantly he even let me put him down in his chair for half an hour so I could eat! And on the way home, he fell asleep in his carseat twice, sleeping for 45 mins then half an hour which is unheard of. And he slept from 7.30 to 12.30 which hasn't happened since he was 6 weeks old so all in all, a good day even if he did wake me up at 5 by shoving his slobbery fingers up my nose

Aw spanner that sounds like a fab day! Actually my DS managed to sit nicely with us in his bumbo during dinner yesterday so DP and I could eat in peace and I could hear about his trip. We usually have to eat in shifts! It's the little things eh?

Spanner and Jeewizz - brilliant!

We have to eat in shifts here as well.

Well yesterday afternoon/evening was horrible. Grumpy whingy baby needed constantly walking around, jiggled, played with etc. Wouldn't sleep. In the end when DP came home I demanded to be taken to the pub for a weak shandy! Just the change in environment did me the world of good and DD didn't grizzle quite so much while out - although I had to stand to jiggle, rock etc.

But then nighttime I got a 3 hour stretch of sleep! Woohoo!

It's definitely the little things

Hello I'm reading with lots of recognition I have had 2 high need babies, it's so hard especially other people's ignorant comments. My boys tick all those boxes, I have loads of slings and am still cosleeping with 18 month old who wakes 3-5 times a night.
I was a HN baby, and again my mum used to leave me to scream as that was the standard way of dealing with it in the 70s I think. She does understand now that I have dealt with it in a different way that is not better or worse but just different. initially she thought I made ds difficult by insisting on bf and carrying lots.
My 4 yo is still quite challenging but does sleep well and is very sweet, fun, bright and VERY determined. It does pass!

Not sure if DS qualifies - we are ok on points 2 and 5, but a lot of this rings true for me too. To cut a long story short, DS was born with Down's Syndrome, so from what I had read I expected him to be very passive, not demanding etc. Au contraire! He has to be entertained ALL the time or he will cry. He sleeps alright during the night, but that is because he sleeps with us, I can't even imagine now trying to put him down in his cot. He doesn't like lying down and will kick off the blankets in a second. Even though he is only 4 months old and very small (4.5 kg) he is constantly straining to sit up and will try to crawl if I put him on his tummy. He is happy enough to sit on my lap for a while, as long as he is facing out so he can see what is going on. He will not stay in a sling - he wriggles and squirms and cries when I try (I have tried four different types) - but will sleep when I take him out in the pram TG! An absolute godsend for me is a Fisherprice rocking chair with a vibrator option. He will stay in it for 10-15 mins so I can have a shower. He is EBF and during the day it seems like he feeds every hour. However, without the breast I don't what I'd do as it's the one thing that will shut him up!

DH is being great in terms of cooking, cleaning etc. and does his best with DS, but he still doesn't seem to get the fact that DS is not happy lying down on him while he watches the match :) He's with his dad now while I have breakfast, but I hear him complaining already....

Hi gang. Well, we're back from my parents' place. What was supposed to be a relaxing week ended up quite stressful. Think DS was more unsettled than I'd anticipated. That, coupled with DM doing things like trying to shove a pillow under his head just as I had got him off to sleep (FFS), meant we had a few horrible nights.

I also got a big lecture from DM about having to do CC to sort him out. I ended up in tears and she told me to stop playing the victim. Supportive, huh? Anyway, after a few hours of obsessing about doing CC in my head, I came to my senses. I am very close to my mum and do regularly look to her for guidance (and she is usually very helpful and supportive). But I realised I no longer have to do exactly what she tells me. He is my baby and I don't want to do CC (yet, at least). So I just nodded and smiled at my mum for the rest of my stay. Was the first time I think I actually felt like a mother - making an independent choice about parenting based on my instincts. Sorry if that sounds lame, but was a bit of an epiphany for me!

Anyway, he seemed much better last night now we are home - put him down at 6:30. He woke at 8pm, 10:30, 12:00, 3am and then 5am for the day. So that was only 2 wakings while i was asleep - i dont tend to count the ones before i go to bed cheat.

Queenkong, sorry you had a bit of a rough time - I get the feeling of epiphany. My dad tells me that 'I've got a lot to learn, love' when I said I didn't believe it is possible for a baby to be crafty/manipulative. I bristled, almost questioned myself for the millionth time, but then realised I could decide to smile, nod and ignore :)

We've had a couple of rough nights, and DS has pretty much been grizzly/fussy all day and nothing but The Boob can help. I feel awful about this, because I know how handy a tool the breast can be, but I'm starting to ever so slightly get weary...

Oh tickleme, I know the feeling. Would love for DH to be able to do bedtime once in a while. But DS kicks off as soon as he realises he's not going to get any boob action. It's exhausting but kind of lovely that they love our boobs us so much? My DH said wistfully the other day "he must feel so happy, all cuddled up with the person he loves most and warm milk trickling into his mouth." It made me feel better to think of it like that!

Welcome RingEir and weasle

Still have grumpy refusing to sleep baby and so tired of always being "responsible" IYSWIM?
DP took her for an hour this morning which helped, but he does it so infrequently (one hour every couple of weeks, not counting the odd 10mins here or there at a weekend) I need more recharge time. He never offers, I always have to ask!

I think I'm pretty close to tears most of the time this weekend.... :(

Hi there LWL. Sorry to hear you're blue. Have you told your DH how you feel? I broke down a month or so ago and told DH I need more breaks. I pointed out that I hadn't had more than an hour away from DS since his birth and that I was sinking. Since then he has taken DS out (or at least offered to) once a weekend for a good three hours. Interestingly, he seems to be able to go longer between feeds if I'm not there. Sometimes you really need to spell it out to get any reaction.

Just an idea but I arranged to meet a friend for the day a little while ago. We went shopping and for a long boozy lunch. DH popped along with DS for a quick feed then they disappeared again. It was bliss. Could you get DH to agree to something like this?

LittleWavey You have to make it a regular scheduled thing, it gets you through the bad days. Its important for the baby to realise they are safe with the other parent too.

Hello everyone and newbies! . Think we are all having tough times. After my refresher day, I too am pissed off weary. It's always me! Rough times last night with more or less cluster feeds during the night. I'm due back at work soon and can't go on like this. As much as I wanted to hold off to 6 months, I've decided to start weaning this week. I know it's not an overnight cure but I'm thinking that ds will be well established on solids by the time I go back to work. I don't like the thought of him having 2 hrly formula tbh, but would be happy for bf in am, and when I get home, with solids and maybe a ff or 2 if needed thru the day. As I said, I didn't anticipate this, but as the feeding is still relentless, and ds is ready imo, that's what I'll be doing (well in today's head stagger anyways). I feel like I've been waiting forever for this to "pass" and frankly, I've concluded that it won't. At 21 weeks, it's the longest I've ever waited to wean, so I think it'll be ok.

Queenkong - yes I did say and asked if he could have her for an hour every weekend - he said every weekend is different and I have to ask then remind him. I said I shouldn't have to ask - he should offer :( I'm probably being grumpy

Mampig - you are his mum and you know him best. 21 weeks is 5 months and not so long ago we would have been advised to wean at 4 -5 months. I'm sorry to hear you're weary as well.... maybe it's part of that sunday afternoon feeling....

Sending hugs to all who are having a tough time - must be something in the air. DS once again on the boob, but did sit in his bouncer long enough for Hubby and I to eat, which is rare!

I too need some more 'me' time, but DS has sort of forgotten that he can drink from a bottle, so I think that's me screwed until he cracks it again, ugh...

Hmm, I notice I wrote 'more' me time. Actually 'some' would be a good start! Had about 5 hours maximum away from baby in 4 months and that was for a first aid course! Exciting stuff!

I know Tickle and thanks LWL. Bf is a huge commitment! Bigger than I ever imagined, but I had thought that after the initial say 3 months, that things would settle into a better routine with at least 5-6 hr stretch at night. How wrong was I!!? So happy to have done it tho and not missing any social life ( but dh now wanting us to a least go for a meal on our own together- can't blame him for that). And at the minute I can still accept things as they are, it's the future that scares me a bit, what with work, cm and trying to describe his lack of routine, although I'll be sad that ds won't be my little ebf ds for much longer . Waffling now ......

Can I ask for a bit of hand holding atm ladies? My DD has always been very high needs, shes bf and feeds every half an hour, has to be held for every nap, wont be put down, hates car, hates pushchair, takes hours to settle every night, even with my OH giving her a bedtime bottle, but then will normally sleep from midnight to 8am, which has been total bliss as this is my only break from her.

Shes now 4.5 months old and has been ill this week so has been screaming allll day long, not settling at night for hours, then up 2 hours after being put down. Shes started refusing to take a bottle at night which means its all me constantly.

Last night after being awake for nearly 24 hours solid I had a bit of a breakdown and OH sent me bed. I could hear her screaming for ages after. He finally got her down at 2, she woke me up at 3 crying but miraculously settled on her own, then up for the day at 5:20am. All she wants is to be on the boob and cries if I move her.

Feel like im on my knees tonight! Dont know how much more I can take. I feel like Im suffocating!

Oh outfoxed98,

I can definitely relate to the feeling of suffocation, think all of us here can. DS is a boobaholic as well, and it is physically and emotionally tough. Breastfeeding was so important to me when he was born, and we have struggled and succeeded, but sometimes I almost wish we'd done things differently (only during my dark times as I'm well aware of the goodness of breastmilk). And now DS is not keen on a bottle, so I almost feel 'trapped' if that makes sense?

Feels awful to write :(

Thanks tickle! I think its the fact shes refusing a bottle thats stressing me out, as thats always been my last resort 'get out of jail free card'.

She's never been a bottle lover, hence the bedtime bottle every night just to keep her taking one!