Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Tandem feeding support thread

328 replies

EauRouge · 30/09/2011 10:09

In anticipation of some graduates from the BF and pregnant thread, here's a shiny new thread for tandem feeders to laugh, moan and puzzle over the ins and outs of BF a baby and toddler.

Things are going pretty well for us, we are having a bit of hair-pulling at the moment though. DD2 is 7 mo and loves grabbing hair. DD1 (3 in just over a week!) is not so keen and sometimes wraps her arms around her head.

Another issue is DD1's latch. She's not even close to self-weaning but her latch has been really lazy the last few months. I googled and found this which has been really helpful.

Aside from that, things are brilliant and I'm really glad I'm still BF DD1. It's my one-stop parenting tool for fixing everything Grin

OP posts:
TheRealMBJ · 26/10/2011 22:23

We've graduated Grin

Will come and post a full birth story when we get a chance. It was AMAZING!

EauRouge · 27/10/2011 08:36

Fantastic, congratulations MBJ :) Thanks can't wait to read your birth story.

OP posts:
MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 27/10/2011 09:18

Grin yay mbj! Thanks congratulations! Grin

KellyKettle · 27/10/2011 09:44

Oh mbj congratulations! Will look forward to your birth story.

Glad you say it was amazing though Smile

So thrilled for you x

KellyKettle · 27/10/2011 09:52

Things not great here moon. DD1 has reverted to a diet of just breastmilk. Amusingly she has put on quite a bit of weight and looks quite chubby.

However, last night, DD2 cluster fed until 1am. 1am! I was exhausted. Just as she settled DD1 woke and started demanding milk. No negotiation, no waiting, pulling at my clothes, telling me to put the baby down. She settled by 2am and then she did it again at 6:50am.

I ended up crying again (I'm quite pathetic when tired) and have cried on and off all morning. I am just so exhausted. I don't know how I am going to cope with two, especially when DH goes back to work next week.

And I don't want to resent DD1. I just wish she'd understand, which of course she doesn't because she's too young.

On the bright side, all thoughts of DC3 have completely gone out of the window Smile

EauRouge · 27/10/2011 10:12

to Kelly. It is so tough for the first couple of weeks, I wondered how on earth I was going to cope. My DD1 also went back to exclusive BF for a couple of weeks and would not be told otherwise. It is difficult for them not being number 1 any more so I suppose they are doing it for reassurance more than anything.

My only tip would be to sod off everything apart from eating and washing until your DH goes back to work. It will get easier, especially when you get your energy back from giving birth (fuck knows how many calories that uses up!). Get your DH to bulk cook some stuff and freeze it so that you still don't have to do too much once he goes back.

For the first few weeks, CBeebies is your friend Grin You'll get through it, have you got anyone else IRL that can help out- mum, friends, neighbours etc?

It honestly does get easier, I'm really glad I stuck with it.

OP posts:
KellyKettle · 27/10/2011 10:20

Thanks eau your post made me feel much better. I suppose I just cant imagine it calming down.

I have to admit, cluster feeding was a shock but I do remember DD1 doing something similar, me deciding I had no milk and giving her formula. I even had a bit of a wobble last night wondering if, after 5 hours, there was something wrong. - and I'm part way through training as a BFC but last night I had decided I hated bf so much I was going to withdraw from training.

I suppose I just need to remember that it gets easier don't I?

EauRouge · 27/10/2011 10:25

That's lovely that you're training as a BFC :) You wouldn't be human though if you didn't have bad days.

Whenever you feel bad, just log on and have a moan here.

OP posts:
MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 27/10/2011 15:13

oh kelly. Sad Dd is 3 weeks today...i think we are a touch further along than you. I'm sure you'll see a difference soon. We had a wobble in the early hours of this morning that ended up in ds getting up cause i was feeding dd so couldn't settle him quickly enough. Dh manned him till if was ready to come back to bed.
Ds doesn't get waiting for boob, especially not in the middle of the night.

Kelly it is really hard (bf, tandem, newborns and toddlers) so give yourself credit, cakes and sack off anything that's not necessary for your immediate survival. Also stop looking at the clock! 5 hour feeding marathons should be measured only in biscuits consumed.

Do you have a sling you can feed in? I use a wrap and am working on nursing so i can have it down for when dh goes back.

Can you tell us your specific worries about coping when dh goes back and maybe we can work out some stratergies for dealing with them.
Nap time is a worry of mine. Ds normally falls asleep in the car home from wherever we go in the morning. I used to lift him inside and use a boob to resettle him on the sofa for the extra hour or so he needs. But now dd wants feeding when we get in too. So it's gonna need some planning to get both dc's in the house and settled. Argh! I think i have a plan now though.

MamaMaiasaura · 27/10/2011 16:33

Well ds2 seems to have completely self weaned so will be stepping off tandem feeding thread. Feel a bit Sad but he's ready and I am happy to have followed his lead. Also nice to just have dd to nurse. She is 5 days and never lost any birthweight of 9lb3 and was 9lb7 when weighed today. Is feeding very quick too so feel lucky. To the point of thinking a fourth might be nice one day...

KellyKettle · 27/10/2011 16:42

Thank you Eau and Moon

I think my worry comes from hating the early days with DD but I had PTSD so this time should be different.

If I am overly tired I snap at DD1 and I feel like a terrible mother. Tandem feeding itself is actually fine. It's just DD1s frequency of feeding at night.

We live in the sticks and I don't drive. There are some mums & tots groups locally but getting around with 2 on the bus in this weather just seems grim.

DD2 has been spending some time in a Close Parent carrier and is happy in there. DD1 has dropped her daytime nap so once we're up I have to power through.

When I had DD I couldn't cope and ended up going to stay with my mum for weeks. DH used to do big round trips to see us.

I've fallen out with mum now and she wasn't much help anyway tbh. DH works away a lot. I'm scared of cabin fever!

Sorry for the negative post. It's not really tandem feeding related is it? It's just being a mum to small kids.

EauRouge · 27/10/2011 18:27

I think you've nailed it, it's just having a newborn. I was in shock for a while I think, I'd just forgotten how tough it was. If anything I think tandem feeding made it easier because we didn't have to cope with the tantrums and sibling rivalry that I saw a lot of my friends deal with when they had their second child.

Is there anyone in your village that you can invite over or go over there? I'd love to meet up if you're in Cambs! Grin

OP posts:
EauRouge · 27/10/2011 18:28

Oh and if you think you're a terrible mother for snapping, I just flattened DD1 because she was standing right behind me when I got DD2's car seat out of the car Blush Luckily she's fine, but said very indignantly "you pushed me" Grin

OP posts:
MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 27/10/2011 18:47

oh dear, i live in dread of ds dropping his nap. You have my sympathy. Do you have a garden or local outdoor space you can wonder around when you can't face the bus? We back on to agri land and ds loves an avo of picking up sticks and jumping in puddles on a rainy day (while i mn on my phone cause it is quite frankly tedious). But this is not to every toddlers taste....i'm just thinking alternative activities if you can't face the bus. Dens , indoor or out are always popular here too.

Can you invite friends with lo's to yours? At least in the early days it would be company for you and excitement for dd1.

Where abouts in the universe are you?

Don't have much experience with buses. We are fairly rural but use trains or drive. Though i know a friend brings out the big guns on bus journeys...crisps! Grin

Have to dash for now. And don't worry about being negative...we're all here for the rough and the smooth. Smile

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 27/10/2011 18:49

x post. Eau rouge pushed me!

EauRouge · 27/10/2011 19:05

DD1 dropped her nap a while ago but this coincided with her learning to play on her own more, so now if I need a break I just hand her a box of playdoh or set some paints out for her and she can keep herself occupied for ten minutes so I can go on MN get something useful done.

OP posts:
TheRealMBJ · 28/10/2011 03:47

Hi all. This is virtually a C&P of the story I posted on the pregnancy thread, please excuse me for repeating myself.

Birth story:

On Tuesday morning I got up as usual with DS at around 5am, despondent that I was yet again NOT in labour. We watched Thomas the Tank engine for an hour and then as I had planned to go to York for lunch and shopping with my brother and mother, I left DS with my mum and went to have a bath. As I got out of the bath. I has my first contraction. At first I thought it was just a strong BH it it was soon followed by a 2nd and 3rd about 8 minutes apart.

I told DH as I went to wake him and while he took DS for a bath I tried to relax and have a snooze, but couldn'tas I was too excited.

My mum and brother decided to take DS anyway and left at around9ish. dH and I walked to the post office and came back to watch Sideways.All throughout, my contractions were erratic, initially seeming to get closer together, and then tailing off! Until, just before lunch, they stopped.

DH made omelettes with mushrooms and goat's geese, which were delicious. And I suggested we go for a walk. So we walked down to the pub, unexpectedly met MIL on the way there and she and DH had a pint in the autumn sunshine. My interactions were still bloody painful, but erratic and seemed to stop when I stopped walking. I thought we were in for a looooong latent phase.

We returned home and decided to have a nap. We slept for an hour and a half or so, during wich time I was awoken 3/4 times itch painful contractions. We woke when DS returned home with DM and DB at 16H00.

I fed DS, played some Lego with him nd gave him his dinner, but decided to go have a bath as my last three contractions were 5 minutes apart, lasting close to a minute each. While in the bath I had SROM and that's when I knew we had to go. I rang the hospital to tell them we were coming. We got in the car and left . That was 17H30. The hospital is an hour away.

During the drive my contractions wnt from every five to every three minutes and the By the end way I could cope was to vocalise rather loudly, in fact VERY loudly. Like a primal moan

We arrived at the hospital and t was a ordeal to walk in an as soon as we got to the assement unit I had he unbearable urge to push. So I pulled ff my jeans and climbed onto the bed on all fours and told hem. This was 18H30

This sent them into a mad panic,, they wheeled us through to the delivery room on the low dependency unit and saidi could go for it. Luckily I heard them talk about jabbing me, so I managed to let them know that I wanted a physiological 3rd stage. As there was no chance to discuss my birth plan. I had wanted a water birth.

Beatrix Anna was born after 5 pushes at 18H47 weighing 7lb14oz. Physiological 3rd stage took about 40minutes, I think. Bea fed within 30 minutes. DH cut the cord once it stopped pulsating. It was brilliant.

Everything I old have hoped and wished for In a labour and birth. (exept the missing out n the water birth)

Feeding is going ok.. I had forgotten that you have to work on the latch with a newborn Blush as I have become very lazy with DS just helping himself.

Feeding aversion has gone. We've had to share quite a few feeds already but DS is very sweet with DD (most of the time)

Nights are going to be very, very tough as DS wants all if me at night even though he is no longer feeding at night and finds it difficult to accept DD in his semi-awake state.

MamaMaiasaura · 28/10/2011 07:11

Therealmbj - what fantastic birth story ( I got teary at the primal moan and getting on all fours bit as know exactly what u mean). I know I'm meant to have left but still lurking a bit Blush x

EauRouge · 28/10/2011 08:41

Oh that's lovely, that brought tears to my eyes :) That's so nice that they are feeding together already, well done to you all!

Bit dramatic, sounds like you only just made it!

I don't know what SROM means though....

OP posts:
TheRealMBJ · 28/10/2011 08:48

Spontaneous rupture of membranes

KellyKettle · 28/10/2011 09:04

Oh TheRealMBJ that sounds perfect! How do you feel about missing the birth pool? It sounds like you didn't need it for pain relief, you did brilliantly on your own.

And what a beautiful name! I am so thrilled for you. I did do a little giggle at you bumping into your MIL and DH stopping for a pint Grin. When Bea asks about her birth, I'm sure it's bits like that that she'll love. It just makes labour so sound normal doesn't it? Part of life?

Feeling 100 times better today, thank you for your lovely posts. DD2 still cluster fed until about 1am but I dozed between switching sides. DD1 stayed downstairs with DH until about 9pm and then fell asleep quickly.

We all slept in (feeding on and off) until 8:30am. So I'm mostly human today Smile

I'm in Cheshire, I don't think my bus route covers Cambs Grin

We do live opposite a big conservation area - rabbits, duck pond etc. I could always walk DD there each day couldn't I? Take her football and let her kick it around the fields.

I don't know any local mums (in my village anyway) yet. We only moved her last year. I do have some friends in the town and they are often willing to drive here so I guess I just have to plan.

My sister doesn't work on Mondays so she said she'll visit next week when DH goes back to work.

I feel much brighter today. Will probably be back moaning later..Smile

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 28/10/2011 15:41

That is amazing mbj! Smile

Glad feeding is going well. I completely understand about newborns needing help and older ones not being quite as understanding in the hours of darkness.

Glad you're feeling better kelly. Smile

msbuggywinkle · 28/10/2011 15:46

Hello, can I join in?

I'm not currently tandem nursing, but did tandem DD1 and 2 for 2.6 years until DD1 weaned at 4.11 and I'm 33 weeks pregnant so will be tandem nursing again in a while!

KellyKettle · 28/10/2011 16:27

Hello Msbuggy welcome to the thread! Smile

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh · 28/10/2011 17:27

welcome msbuggy. Smile

There is also a bf whilest pregnant thread too (i used to live there) which might also be of interest to you.

Do you know if you are having a boy or girl? Any plans for the birth that you don't mind sharing? We all love a bit of birth talk over here! Grin