Tandem feeding support thread

[EauRouge]

In anticipation of some graduates from the BF and pregnant thread, here's a shiny new thread for tandem feeders to laugh, moan and puzzle over the ins and outs of BF a baby and toddler.

Things are going pretty well for us, we are having a bit of hair-pulling at the moment though. DD2 is 7 mo and loves grabbing hair. DD1 (3 in just over a week!) is not so keen and sometimes wraps her arms around her head.

Another issue is DD1's latch. She's not even close to self-weaning but her latch has been really lazy the last few months. I googled and found this which has been really helpful.

Aside from that, things are brilliant and I'm really glad I'm still BF DD1. It's my one-stop parenting tool for fixing everything

Oh MBJ I know, I so understand. Can you do a pre-emotive offer of milk to avoid the whining? I hate the battle for milk so if I sense it's coming during the day I offer instead. I find it easier to feed DD1 if i am not just doing it to stop her going on at me.

It sounds like you are doing really well in a very tough situation, considering you and DSs needs.

DD1 back in our bed

Eau I have just asked DH to take food away from me as I'd just had dinner and couldn't possibly need more...

I was exhausted posting last night - out of one eye!

Pre-emptive not pre-emotive (autocorrect!) and apologies for the food waffle. Dodgy really warrant a post of its own.

How are you getting on MBJ?

OK. Still on 3 a day. DS would however, prefer 5/6

Hello ladies - this had dropped off my active convos so just marking my place.

Hope you're okay MBJ - 2/3 feeds a day sounds good.

Kelly are you happy to have her back? I have to admit I do love having DD in our bed even if it is killing my back and our sleep and there isn't really room for all of us It just feels wrong to have her in another room by herself Learned about prolactin/the mama bear hormone at the w/e so presumably my levels of it are sky-high atm!

We are doing okay here I think. DD seems to have become a lot less demanding recently so quite often now it seems we are only doing morning and evening, which is good. It's the constant pestering which drives me insane.

DS is now six months and over 22lbs He doesn't seem to sleep much in the day, which is hard work (snoozing on my lap atm, I can't move!) and has been biting a lot over the past couple of days, so would be left to the wolves if he wasn't so darned cute

And I'm having a sort of dialogue with my mum, after she emailed me to tell me how much she hates BLW but we've got on to extended feeding too. She is the only person who has ever voiced any objection to it, which is a bit upsetting. Apparently her main concern is that the longer we do it, the harder it will be stop Tbf her only experience (as far as I know) was of a neighbour who went cold turkey when her DD was 3 and I think it was quite traumatic for both of them, but does she seriously think I'll be bfing DD forever? Eventually she'll stop and I'll do a happy dance

Hello all. It's been forever since I was last on this thread, but we are still here, still tandemming.

DS1 had his tt done at the beginning of the month and it's pretty much stopped his reflux, so I am hoping that he will wean soon. But it does seem unlikely when ds2 is still at it.

DS1 is at least only haivng milk every other day or so, and he is less and less bothered if I say no to his bedtime milk.

Can't believe that I've been tandemming for almost 2yrs. It is very cute when they wave to each other though!

Two years - eep! Having said that, I can't believe I've been doing it for six months. I think it has made them closer but obviously have no real way of measuring that!

Last week my mum collected DD from pre-school and took her out for the afternoon. DH collected her from mum's on his way home from work and she was delivered home at about 7.30 pm, asleep (whoop!). My the time I went to bed that night at midnight, my right boob (DD's favourite, tend to feed DS on the left, v poor planning from me that day) was just about ready to explode, so I went and got into bed with DD and tried to dream feed her. She was having none of it so had to go and hand express down the sink. Was just the most ridiculous bit of role reversal ever.

I now go to work on a Sunday afternoon for a couple of hours and DH looks after both the DC. The first week I left some milk for DS but he didn't take it (and is now on solids anyway) so I haven't bothered since. Hilariously DD is desperate for me to pump again (despite crying last time she saw me doing it, and then refusing to drink the expressed milk) so she can bottle feed DS. Have I taught her nothing?!

Haha! My DD1 says the same "Give DD2 a bottle!".

I am going to start working a few hours a week from about April when DD2 will be 6 months old. How is working out for you DitaVonCheese? I am quite anxious about it but if it works out I don't have to go back to my full time job for a few years.

I have found that my feeding aversion has passed. I think now I am just not keen on the strength of her latch/suck but I can cope. We're finding that DD1 is very challenging at the moment - stroppy, shouting, screaming. This might just be because she's three but I am thinking of offering milk when shes like this to see if it calms things down.

Does anyone have any ideas?

Bump

Oh, hello

Your DD1 sounds like a normal 3 year old to me! I've had some success with finding out the cause of tantrums (usually being tired, ill or hungry) and trying to avoid them. Of course you can't avoid everything all the time and I find a quick BF usually calms things down. If you can't for any reason at that time then a cuddle and calmly asking her to tell you what is wrong might work, although sometimes they can't put it into words.

Thanks Eau I've just realised how cheeky I look - I was only bumping to revive the thread rather than as a "answer me!" bump

You're exactly right though, I find it's usually hunger at the moment. DD1 is going through a phase of not really eating and then asking for chocolate. I'm thinking of greeting "My Child Won't Eat" for some reassurance.

Actually, if she could exist on cucumber & milk she would. That's all she ever wants

How are you?

I think I have finally got 3.5 year old DS sleeping in his own bed ALL night (7 days and counting) and down to ONE milk feed a day ! Looking good :)

Littlest DD is still not keen on starting the night in her own bed and still a little milk monster. But hoping to get down to one nurseling at some point before DC4 arrives in summer !

All mine eats is bread and chocolate and occasionally strawberries and she's doing OK. I've got a copy of "My Child Won't Eat" on order from the LLL shop, very much looking forward to reading it.

We're doing fine, same old same old We've all had the lurgy this week but it's turned out not to be chicken pox. Good thing too, we're going away this weekend.

Wow Babies that's great news. I guess the little one will get there, plenty of time before your next DC arrives.

DD1 has fallen asleep for the last 3 nights without milk. I think because we were at my parents she just forgot & last night we came home so got her ready for bed, put her in the car and she fell asleep so we put her straight in bed.

Sorry to hear you're all ill Eau but glad its not chicken pox.

DD2 is a real grump at the moment. I'm not sure what it is so I'm saying teething/growth spurt because they're nice catch alls that stop my MIL from banging on about weaning

I'm sick to death of leaking, almost 4 months PP and I'm still leaking every day. Yesterday, I got out of the shower, got dressed and leaked immediately so had to get another top. It's such a PITA. If I'm out when it happens I have to keep the sling on over my top.

I wish someone would invent a nursing bra with a little pocket for breastpads. Mine don't stay in one place.

Is anyone else still leaky?

I've been tandeming now for 4 years!! (Except for 1 month between DD1 self weaning and DD3 arriving!). Tandeming again through pg and noticed something really weird today - I have masses of milk!! My breasts feel 'full' and DD3 came off this afternoon with milk everywhere, let down seems to be happening really quickly too.

Most peculiar as it's been the same with both of the pg I have nursed through - lower supply, super sore nipples, irritated during feeding/feeding aversions then no milk at 14wks until colostrum comes in at 24/26wks. Why is it different this times? Hope it's not a bad sign.

Morning all. I'm in a real grump this morning - both DC tagteamed us all night so DH and I have had almost zero sleep. Just spent about 20 min trying to get DS to sleep while DD pestered me for boob and repeatedly woke him up again despite me repeatedly explaining she'd get nothing until he was asleep. Struggling with her pestering/pawing me/trying to undress me this morning, usually find it annoying but today it's actually making me shudder. Ugh.

Oh god just nearly burst into tears on her because she kept latching on and off but Christ it feels disgusting. ARGH. Hope this is just sleep deprivation making it feel worse, I feel like being sick.

Kelly, work is working out okay thanks - have left a bottle twice now I think but not a lot of point so usually I just tank DS up before I go and he's fine. Week before last DH actually took them both to a concert so he was away for me for four hours I think and was fine. Hope it goes smoothly for you too.

DD is determinedly cutting down on the number of things she eats We're more or less down to sausages (but no other meat), fishfingers, pasta (but only plain/with cheese sauce, nothing tomato based), most fruit, peas, broad beans, baked beans, bread/toast/crackers (mistyped bread/toast as breast :)), ice cream, chocolate, cheese, houmous, rice/cous cous. That looks quite bad written down I'm hoping this is just a normal stage (?). DH and I now eat with her and she gets a toned down version of whatever we're having in an attempt to get her to eat more variety but doesn't seem to be working much, she generally won't even taste it. OTOH I think she's good at eating to appetite - she'll leave chocolate/biscuits/cake if she doesn't want it, which I am completely incapable of

I am still a bit leaky at 6.5 months - it's a bit hit and miss and depends how full my boobs are but still won't risk going without breastpads. With DD I think I leaked until 14 months! - was genuinely amazed when I learned that plenty of people only leak for the first few months or not at all.

Right, had better get on with our day and do something productive. We're going away for the weekend and I really want the house to be in a decent state before we go as hate coming back to a shitpit but half term is rather buggering that up. Also off to yoga tonight for the first time in an attempt to chill the fuck out!

Oh man, I wish my DD1 would eat that many things! I spent 2 hours making pizza from scratch yesterday at her request and then she wouldn't sodding eat it.

I think it is a normal stage, but I am really looking forward to getting my copy of My Child Won't Eat in the post this week, I hope it will shed some light on DD1's baffling eating fads.

Hope you get more sleep tonight, Dita.

Shameless bump because we've hit a milestone today- DD2 is a year old! So I've been doing this tandem malarky for a year now I think I have consumed twice my own weight in chocolate healthy snacks.

Wow, congrats Eau! I wonder if we'll get that far - DD will still be feeding for sure but not sure about DS. He is the most irritating breastfeeder ever - suck suck, look around, suck suck, look around, suck suck, look around ARGH while I'm fountaining milk everywhere and trying to cover my boob back up. He just doesn't seem particularly interested most of the time, plus he's a biter, so I'm constantly inserting a very delicate bit of me into a very sharp bit of him and not knowing whether it's still going to be attached when he's through with it :( Ow. Much as I'd rather not be bfing DD any more, at least the kid just gets the job done and doesn't damage me in the process.

Accidental rant there, sorry

How's My Child Won't Eat? DD is now vegetarian, apparently I was expecting this phase (please let it be a phase) at 13 but not 3. Amusingly, veggie DH is also a bit dismayed about it.

My diet is bloody awful - constantly stuffing myself with cakes and biscuits. Just remember that tandemming is very cheap lipo ... And if that fails, I'm an antenatal teacher, so am surrounded by portly women a lot of the time - one of them commented last week that I look slimmer each week, but I think it's just an optical illusion caused by the fact that they're all getting fatter

Thanks Dita. I know what you mean, DD2 is a biter too. DD1 pesters me constantly but at least I don't need to worry about her performing a nipplectomy.

The book is very reassuring- there are no magic answers about getting your child to eat but it's nice to know that I'm not alone. Some days it would be nice though if DD1 ate some actual food instead of asking to be BF every 10 minutes like she is today. Actually I think she has asked me 4 times in the last 10 minutes

Lol at the optical illusion I should hang out with heavily pregnant women more. Who do you teach antenatal classes for, NCT?

Anyone still about?

DS is virtually a veggie too Dita. He eats very, very little meat or other protein. I do worry about it constantly especially as GE was quite badly iron deficient in his first year.

Congratulations Eau

I'm actually coming to ask for a bit of hand holding.

DS has become obsessed again constantly calling for Na-Na and driving me insane. Also extra clingy atm. He seems well in himself now though. Is there a stage around 26 months I don't know about?

No one around then

I'm around now, I've been out all day.

It's so tough when they go through those phases, isn't it? I've had days when I've (literally) run off shouting 'leave me alone for five minutes!'. Maybe he's coming down with something?

DS who's the same age has been like that lately, MBJ, but he's been ill so I assumed that was the reason.

I think as they get older, developmental leaps get less predictable in when they occur, so it could be something to do with that.

Eau, congratulations on DD2 getting to her birthday - where did that year go?