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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

I really don't want to bf anymore, please help :0(

140 replies

Dalrymps · 01/09/2010 13:44

Ds is 22 weeks old. Bfing has been very difficult from the start. I saw a lactation consultant and she helped me with latching on when I was close to giving up and I managed to carry on. My right nipple has a crack, it has never healed although doesn't bleed and according to my gp isn't infected so I don't need antibiotics.

I think the larch is possibly just not quite right on that side, it gets sore for a few days if he's had a bad feed then it slowly becomes bearable again. The 'goo'd' side can get sore too but is mostly ok.

He's teething and had started clamping down on my nipples whilst feeding just to add to my pain Sad.

I keep trying him with a bottle as to be honest I never even thought I'd get this far (only managed 5 weeks ebf with ds1). he won't take it, tried tommee tippee and mam.

I feel like I really want to stop now, I can't take it anymore and feel I'm feeding avaunt my will as I have no choice.

Please tell me what I can do to get him to take a bottle.

I don't mean to sound like I for care, I feel very guilty for wanting to stop and I know none of this is his fault but I've just had enough Sad

OP posts:
Original poster
Dalrymps · 03/09/2010 11:09

No luck with the expressed milk in the nuk or with formula in a sippy cup :0(. He had a quick bf first thing this morning and had fed at 6am... Nothing since and now he's fallen asleep in protest.

This is so hard, I wish dh was doing it cause it's twice as hard for me when he expects me to feed him. I'm wearing dh's tshirt to try and cover the milk smell. Dh says he will try him at lunch time and this evening.

I think I must be stressed cause my excema has flared up, on my eyelids, just what I need. I got up too late to call the docs too, supposed to ring at 8 and woke at 8.20...

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MoonFaceMama · 03/09/2010 11:43

Dalrymps, i really hope it gets better for you soon. You are having a really hard time...am sending you a big hug/cream cake/g and t ...xxx

Original poster
Dalrymps · 03/09/2010 12:01

Thanks moonface, I just feel like crying tbh. I'm starting to think that I might have to go cold turkey if he doesn't take it soon and I really don't want to do that Sad

Whilst trying to tempt him with the bottle I am also having to entertain my nearly 3 year old as he's obviously needing more attention and keeps playing up. I have to keep expressing from the bad side too to release the pressure.

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Original poster
Dalrymps · 03/09/2010 13:04

Dh tried him at lunchtime, he wasn't distressed or crying, just wouldn't take any milk. Will dometimes allow the teat in his mouth but won't suck. If I put my finger in his mouth he'll suck on that no probs so it's not a physical problem or anything...

He had a bf at around 9 this morning and hasn't taken any milk since, this is awful, I feel like I'm starving him although he's not fruit or upset. I think I'm just going to have to stop bfing and keep trying the bottle. I hate having to do most of it myself, I wish someoe else could be here and try him.

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Original poster
Dalrymps · 03/09/2010 14:08

Ok I know no one is around but I'm gonna keep posting here anyway to vent my feelings.

I tried going back to the tommee tippee closer to nature bottle. He grizzled over it for a while and chewed on it then fell asleep again. I tried to 'dream feed' him a bit and he seemed to start sucking on the bottle so I let him for a while till he pulled off. It really looked like he was drinking it but when I took the bottle away he hadn't drunk any at all Sad

Dh said at lunchtime maybe we'll just have to do cold turkey so I got all mentally prepared to do that. Now he text me to say he looked on the baby centre website at work and that advises not to do that as it will make mealtimes in to a battle ground. Great, I don't know what to do now.

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tortoiseonthehalfshell · 03/09/2010 14:17

I'm around and reading along. Just didn't have anything useful to say.

I think that it's probably best to get your husband to do as many attempts as possible, just to separate the association out (you probably still smell delicious!) so this weekend might be easier, logistically.

I've read that cold turkey isn't advised, too, because a hungry baby is an irrational baby, less able to deal with the change.

I will say that if he's sleeping, and he's not upset, then you're certainly not starving him. At this age, with a history of being well fed (i.e., this isn't a failure to thrive situation), you would know pretty quickly if he felt starving and deprived.

Good luck! I'm sorry it's such a challenge.

Original poster
Dalrymps · 03/09/2010 14:56

Thanks tortoise. He just woke and drank 3oz from the tommee tippee, relief is not the word. I tried him with some more but he doesn't want it at the moment. At least I know he can do it now, hope he does it again.

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becaroo · 03/09/2010 15:06

could you have a word with your HV re: different teats? I used NUK latex ones with ds1 and tommee tippee closer to nature ones with ds2.

I tried hard to bf both my dc (failed completely with ds1 as milk failed to come in and fed ds2 for 3 weeks) so I really commend you for persisting this long.

It sounds harsh but you may need to go "cold turkey" i.e. dont offer him the breast at all and keep offering the bottle. It will mean discomfort for you and some adjustment for him but should work evetually.

Formula in cartons is more easily digested (and is sterile) have you tried that? I used aptamil - no problems.

Really hope this gets better for you x

Original poster
Dalrymps · 03/09/2010 15:51

Thanks becaroo, tried the aptamil cartons at first but have moved on to the powder as just can't afford to keep buying the cartons. Still using aptamil though, it suited ds1 once he went on to milk the best...

Have tried nuk, mam and tommee tippee, he's just taken 3oz from a tommee tippee for the first time this aft. I've fed him at 9am this morning then just tried the bottle on and off all day so suppose I am kinda doing cold turkey..

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asuwere · 03/09/2010 17:54

have just caught up on thread and wanted to say congrats on the 3oz! That's really good news! And if he's not distressed then he's not hungry so it's all good! I know it's hard and I'm sure your emotions are all over the place but it does seem good progress :)

Original poster
Dalrymps · 03/09/2010 19:01

Thanks, he started crying on and off around an hour ago as I he might be hungry so dh has been trying to feed him since then. I've found it quite stressful, he's trying to only offer the milk when ds is reasonably calm. So far he has just taken one oz, hope he gets the hang of it more soon. It's killing me to think he might be hungry Sad

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asuwere · 03/09/2010 19:44

try not to worry too much about him being hungry - he will be fine! If he really is hungry, he will take the bottle that is offered to him. I know it's easy for me to say but do try to believe it.

You've done a great job, you're still providing him with food and love and everything he needs, it's just that his milk is now going to come in a bottle instead of a boob.

becaroo · 03/09/2010 19:51

It must be very hard hearing him cry, but as another poster said, he will take milk from the bottle if he is hungry.

I can really sympathise, we had terrible trouble with ds1 and his feeding Sad but after much trying and testing the NUK teats worked best for us.

I think its just trial and error tbh.

Well done for getting him to take 3oz!! Smile

gingerkirsty · 03/09/2010 21:29

Hi Dalrymps, just logged in to see how you are going and you have made progress! Well done on the 3oz that's great. You know now that tommee tipee can work for him (we use those for DD's formula dream feed too) so that will hopefully make you feel more confident.

I don't know about the cold turkey method but I know that he won't starve himself if you do do that. He can feed from the bottle and he will if he has to. No idea what the psychological effects (if any) of that would be though.

I have had a weird idea - when DH is not around and you are offering the bottle, how about putting one of DH's coats on - much more likely to mask your lovely milky smell than a tshirt or jumper.

I have realised that my DD really really picks up on my anxiety when I am struggling to get her to sleep (but that's a whole other thread! Smile ) and I wonder if your (completely natural) worry is rubbing off on your DS? Do you have any friends/family who could come round during the day to offer him a bottle?

Original poster
Dalrymps · 03/09/2010 22:21

Thanks for the support ladies. We went to pils this evening with him as they are lovely and we were both feeling stressed by it. He took another 4 oz whilst we were there, he had quite a few breaks but still progress. He has been happy in between feeds do don't think he's starving hungry and when he is hungry he cries a bit and we offer him the bottle, not a lot more we can do. I'm hoping it doesn't affect him psychologically, I don't feel it will as he's pretty calm and just being a bit grizzly, hope I'm right.

He's just asleep on dh now as he usually is of an evening, well either on dh or me... Feel a bit sad actually that it looks like this morning was my last bf and I didn't know it...

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ClimberChick · 03/09/2010 22:39

I wouldn't feel guilty about him being hungry, they're built to survive growth spurts after all.

Sounds like progress in being made so well done. I hope that doesn't sound condescending. The amounts are they EBM or F?

Original poster
Dalrymps · 03/09/2010 22:47

Thanks, I have been offering ebm and f but it just so happens the 2 bottles he has taken were f.

I have been hand expressing to relieve the pressure just when my breasts have become so full it's sore. I've frozen any extra ebm to give him in his bottles/ food Smile

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CarGirl · 03/09/2010 22:47

huge hugs. My youngest and last self weaned at 11 months, I was so sad but she just wasn't interested in milk anymore only "real" food.

gingerkirsty · 03/09/2010 22:53

Brilliant sounds like you are coming out the other side of a really tough time - I am sure he will just get on better and better with bottles from now on.

Well done for sticking with it.

Original poster
Dalrymps · 03/09/2010 23:00

Thanks, I just said to dh about it being my last feed and not knowing it and we both cried. He said I could feed him one last time if I want. I do want to but I'm worried I'll just erase all the progress we've made, it's been really hard and I don't want to confuse him Sad

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gingerkirsty · 03/09/2010 23:52

Sorry it's been ages since your last post so you might have fed him now, but I am with your DH - better for your DS and your milk supply if you don't BF him again now I'd think. Your boobs will already have started to adjust to not feeding and if you feed him again you will crank up your supply and prolong the discomfort.

Hope you are ok, well done again for sticking with it through such a tough time. Make sure you all do something nice tomorrow in the (alleged) sunshine :)

Original poster
Dalrymps · 04/09/2010 02:05

Thanks ginger, I haven't fed him again. He slept and we put him to bed and he just woke for a feed now. Was strange listening to him cry for his feed whilst we prepared a bottle rather than me just feeding him.

He initially grumbled about the bottle buy is drinking some of it now. My breasts are aching a little, still beating myself up over this. At least he's drinking the milk so I know he's not hungry...

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Original poster
Dalrymps · 04/09/2010 08:20

He drank 3oz of the night bottle in the end then slept and is still sleeping now. I lay there for over an hour after he had gone back to sleep feeling so guilty and uncomfortable cause of my enormous breasts. I eventually had to hand express to relieve some pressure before finally drifting off to sleep. I'm glad he didn't wake again cause I was thinking of just Breastfeeding him if he did...

My breasts are so full now, might have to express again, had to sleep on my back cause they hurt.

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asuwere · 04/09/2010 08:46

Sounds like it is still good progress. Take some paracetamol/ibuprofen if your breasts are painful. My mum also told me to bind mine when I stopped and it really helped. Use a towel and get DH to help you tie it at the back (I used a nappy nippa but you can use safety pins to hold it). I know this is old fashioned but it really relieved the pressure for a few hours and made it all much more confortable.

MoonFaceMama · 04/09/2010 08:48

more hugs dalrymps! Glad he took some milk. Smile

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