I really don't want to bf anymore, please help :0(

[Dalrymps]

Ds is 22 weeks old. Bfing has been very difficult from the start. I saw a lactation consultant and she helped me with latching on when I was close to giving up and I managed to carry on. My right nipple has a crack, it has never healed although doesn't bleed and according to my gp isn't infected so I don't need antibiotics.

I think the larch is possibly just not quite right on that side, it gets sore for a few days if he's had a bad feed then it slowly becomes bearable again. The 'goo'd' side can get sore too but is mostly ok.

He's teething and had started clamping down on my nipples whilst feeding just to add to my pain .

I keep trying him with a bottle as to be honest I never even thought I'd get this far (only managed 5 weeks ebf with ds1). he won't take it, tried tommee tippee and mam.

I feel like I really want to stop now, I can't take it anymore and feel I'm feeding avaunt my will as I have no choice.

Please tell me what I can do to get him to take a bottle.

I don't mean to sound like I for care, I feel very guilty for wanting to stop and I know none of this is his fault but I've just had enough

Wow! Sounds like progress! Try not to beat yourself up hopefully this will lead to a happier Dalrymps and happier ds1 and 2 :) really pleased it seems to be going ok.

Thanks ladies. He still won't take his morning bottle at the moment but isn't crying either. Maybe he just feels fuller from the formula and it's taking his system a while to adjust? I've made him a 5oz bottle with 1oz of ebm in... Will get some paracetamol, all out if them at the mo :0(

My bra is quite tight so not sure I need to bind them, hope they settle soon.

His new trick is to suck like he's feeding for a while but when I take the bottle away he's drunk none at all?! I know he can get it out cause he has done. Gonna get some size 2 teats when dh finishes work at 12. I hate dealing with this without him here.

Hi Dalrymps
Sorry I've missed this. I don't have anything useful to say but I'm glad DS2 is taking some milk from the bottle now and really hope that you have got over the worst.
My DD2 won't take a bottle either so I've read with interest all the tips. I'm not ready to give up BF yet, I'm too lazy but at the same time would like her to take a bottle when it is convenient (for me) so I can leave her for a little while.

sorry my comment now seems inappropriate as you have just posted saying he won't take the bottle this morning. I got caught up with a feed, a phone call, wee wee on the carpet blah, blah, blah [TTSP]

sorry got caught up with all of that mid post and then just clicked post anyway.
Fingers crossed today is good and it's only an hour til DH is home for you.
Cabbage leaves helped me when I was engorged in the beginning, suppose it should work at this stage too.

Smac- thanks, yeah I felt kinda the same but the pain just tipped me over the edge and I had to stop

He just took 5oz (4oz f, 1oz ebm) he fell asleep whilst feeding and kind of dream fed it. I need to get the faster teats, it took him aaages and he was sucking away the poor little mite.

Lol I'm off to town soon to get those teats, maybe wait till I get back for the cabbage leafs or I might get some funny looks!

Does anyone know how long it'll take for my breasts to adjust and my hormonal levels?

Yes do try the larger medium flow teats. If you have slow flow ones he will be struggling to get it out and get tired before he is full.

If he is older than 3/4 months then def need medium flow. you will also need fast flow when he gets bigger.

Well done. You are doing really well

took my boobs quite a while to "settle" but they have always been massive anyway

I'm only using slow flow cause it's all I have in the house for the tommee tippee. I have medium flow for the mam and nuk but of course he won't accept those, typical! I used tommee tippee for ds1 and just threw all his old teats away last week, even more typical! I could have used one to put me on until I bought a new one!

Dh home in 5 mins anyway so I'm off out to get some, I look a state cause haven't managed a shower yet but I have to get out of the house!

Hi i just was looking in and saw your post!
Dairymps - your r amazing and doing a great job!
I just stopped BF due to teeth and boy was i going through it i believe i should of introduced a bottle from before but oh well! he refuse every bottle and teat i bought - nam, tt, avent, dr brown,breastflow 1st years!blahhhhhhhhhh
I had to go out and leave expressed milk i couldnt bear the crying and him seeing and looking at me like to say "why you doing this to me mummy!"all day i was out breasts like rocks! but he got hungry and gulped 4oz down and slept,this continued until my milk ran out and my DH made up a formula bottle and he gulped it down and that was it the release i needed and now im not looking back and mummy and baby r well and happy! it took 4 days for boobs to go from large painful rocks to rocks without pain and although im still leaking i dont mind!

Good luck - try some different flow teats so he gets the milk easier and as long as you dont leave him alone with bottle he will be find im sure!im using T.T but its only due to the bottles i got as a gift!

Thanks for the encouragement mama, I feel so guilty and awful when he cries I nearly cave in and feed him every time. I would have considered feeding him tonight had I not had my first few glasses of wine in 14 months.

My breasts are rock hard and sore to touch but really trying to express only when absolutely necessary so I don't prolong the agony.

Makes things worse as I can't cuddle by boys properly when my breasts hurt so much!

You are being very sensible (esp the wine drinking!), keep doing what you are doing and it will get easier - boobs will stop hurting, milk will gradually dwindle, you won't smell as milky, DS will get used to the bottle and it will all come together.

Don't feel bad what you are doing is the best for all concerned, not just for you. As I said earlier in the thread, your happiness is so important for your DS's well being and this should not be underestimated. Once you have got through this tough time - and you have progressed so far since starting this thread only three days ago - you will all be happier and healthier for it.

Be kind to yourself x

Ok, don't be annoyed at me but I fed him. You know what, I'm not even sorry. I have felt awful and I think I see thugs more clearly now. Cold turkey was the int way he was going go to on to bottles, I'm sure of that but I couldn't stop feeling that I so wanted to feed him. Taking the pain out of the equation and his bottle stubbornness, in an ideal world I would mix feed him and gradually wean him on to bottle or maybe even cup.

I'm going to try to achieve this. It would make me, and ds the most happy I think. My 'bad side' has healed a bit and is not sore to touch, I am going to feed and speak to the lactation consultant and doc if it becomes sore again and try to make this gradual thing work.

At least I know he will take a bottle now, whether he willcombined with Breastfeeding remains to be seen. I have to follow my heart, it was making me too sad... He us laying on my knee looking so content.

Feel free to tell me off!

Oh bless you, no telling off from anyone I am sure - only you know what's right for you! Make sure you do get some help from the lac cons because what you don't want to do is continue with whatever was causing the poorly nipple in the first place, looking back to your posts on Wednesday it was horrible for you. Good luck and keep us posted :)

Dalrymps 'Im not even sorry!'

I cried for you when you wrote that you had had your last feed and not even realised!(these silly hormones... Im still crying like Im 6 months pg not a mother of a 6mth-er..) You do what feels right lady, he's your son and you know whats best for you two. I'm so glad he's taken bottles now and that your nipple is feeling a bit better.

Now you must talk to your GP or HV or LC about what was causing the pain. You dont want to undo the benefit you gained yesterday.

You must be feeling ace! ? Cant wait to meet you at MMMM? Ill be first in the line to buy you drink.

hey dalrymps! Well done on doing the right thing for you and and your little man

Dalrymps- Why would we tell you off!!!!! only you know what is right for you and your son, and im glad your happy and your son is reaping in the benefits!
Im always in agreement to still speak to someone regarding the pain, you dont want to go through that again! people told me to start of slowly and drop feds but when i saw him happy gulping down the formula i saw it would be more for me to keep feeding him and not for him! teeth also was a deciding factor!

BE HAPPY and all the BEST

Thankyou ladies

Siamese - you made me cry saying you had cried! I just started crying and dh was saying what's wrong? What's happened?!

Do you ladies think it will have affected my supply that I didn't feed for nearly 2 days? If so will normal feeding get that back on track?

you have been feeding him for 22 weeks so its houldnt have affected your supply only stopping for 2 days.

Really hope things work out for you x

Ah thanks becaroo, certainly seems ok and it sprayed out when ds pulled off for a second this morning!

Maybe we won't hit the gin then, we'd be a sobbing mess in the corner!! :)

He he indeed!

Hey Dalrymps
You need to do what you feel comfortable with and bounce ideas off the rest of us! No need to feel bad about any decisions you make, it's your boy and your body
IMVHO mixed feeding can work very well when BF has been long established (i.e. your situation) I think it is a slippery slope in the early days though (but I know it's the only way for some).
I mixed fed DD1 from 8 months, I really gradually introduced a formula of bottle, like dropping one BF every two weeks or something. This way my boobs were never painful but I always seemed to have enough milk so if we were out longer than planned I could BF (or if I forgot the bottle which sometimes often happened! and I always stuck to BF at night as it was the most convenient thing for me.
You have made so much progress in these last few days although I know it's been hard for you. You know he will take a bottle now if neccessary and that in itself is liberating.

Thanks smac, yes, at least I know if he absolutely had to he would take a bottle.

Now I need to find out why I'm getting pain on one side and get it sorted.

I don't think it's thrush because surely if it was I'd have it on both sides would I not? There is a crack across the nipple, it doesn't look particularly red, nothing oozing from it... Suppose it might just be a bad latch but how come it can get it right on one side but not the other in that case?

It's the local bfing group tomorrow and sometimes the lactation consultant is there so I'll find out if she is and go see her. If not I'll ring her anyway and arrange something.