Common racist comments you hear in 2023?

[SleepDreamThinkHuge]

Compared to 30 years ago, how is racism different today?

For me, racism terms such as the n word p word are less used than they were 30 years ago. However, people have looked at other avenues. See comments below.

1. "You have a chip over your shoulder" every time someone mentions racism or their lived experience it goes straight to denial mode. You are blamed for your lived experiences and told to get over it and how UK is not racist.

2. "The UK abolished slavery. slavery was a long time ago." Every time someone tries to put forward a view of reparations of people who are still suffering from the effects of slavery they are shut down. "that was a long time ago we have changed and evolved."

3. "I feel like a foreigner in my own country." Which is probably one of the most stupid statements considering that over 80 percent of the population is white. I always answer if you feel like a foreigner how do minorities feel?

4. "name the racists" commonly said for Megan Markle that she should name the racists she claimed in the Royal family. But lets be honest if you did that the other person in whatever circumstance would just deny it and ultimately you will not be believed and be called someone who plays the race card and tarnishing other people's careers.

5. "Why do black people have their own spaces if white people had it we would be accused of racism" This is commonly said by the same people who are not as vocal when other groups have their own space e.g. women, LGBT groups etc.. It just seems like whenever black people have their own space people have to put them down. Take Ngozi Fulani the media made it seem she was the bad person people argued why her charity helps black people suffering from domestic abuse. Sad how she was forced out Sistah Space due to the abuse she faced but the media never mention that and the racism she had to face.

6. "Racism exists in all communities" this is another common one used and is a whataboutery technique. We have seen this with people like Kanye, KSI recently but what people forget there was a lot of criticism from the black community with their actions. So to suggest the black community or any other community does not do anything about racism is for the birds.

7. "My best friend is black" This is something you would hear from the EDL or Britain First. But you would be surprised how often you hear this by a lot of people. Just because your friend or relative is black, Muslim, Asian etc does not mean you cannot be racist. Even if you are a white mother and your child is mixed race does not mean you cannot be racist. It is baffling how a lot of people seem to forget this and think that my saying I cannot be racist because of this automatically means they cannot.

No doubt some people would say that it is advertising fair trade, which would most likely be from Countries more populated by black, and brown people, which I did think about. But obviously it is how a poster like that could translate somewhere like the UK, which is problematic. As I said in an earlier post the message is not lost, if the hand was not there in the first place.

So sick of being called anti-feminist and a misogynist for calling out racism in white women. Utterly sick to my back teeth of it. They just refuse to admit they can be racist. Oh no, it’s only white men that do that shit. They’re all fucking pure as snow.

Sorry to hear of your distress@HadalyEve . It also never ceases to amaze me that the same people who will be railing against the misogyny that they receive, have no qualms about dismissing poc who are complaining about the racism that they are enduring. Sad to say that I think that they have internalised being anti-black themselves. It should not be a surprise though really, when you consider the fact that being anti-black seems to be a global problem. I don't know how things will ever really change, and I do not say that lightly. They are not even willing to examine their own behaviour, the people that shout you down. We cannot fix the problem, that was not started by us.

@HadalyEve I know how you feel. As much as you can get used to it, it still rankles every single time. I know how what you mean.

Anti-black, racist misogynists will do anything to not be called out. One has to understand their movement depends on it. Their M.O is to label anyone with 'misogynist' first - the latest buzzword - to try and shut down the issues but the best way is to use the same word (and then some) on them. Then, watch the outrage and hostility (and misogyny) come out.

I completely empathise with how you are feeling. Whilst I do get drawn in at times, I have made peace with the fact that there are only a few allies and that in my experience the majority of white feminists are essentially 'white men' and that low expectations will therefore be the order of the day.

Thanks all. I have let myself get drawn in (again). No idea why I do it to myself. 😂 This has turned into a really supportive thread for me, I hope I can be there for y’all as well.

Sure thing@HadalyEve 🌻

I hear you. And I am so damn sorry. It is horrific.

Some of the threads that pop up on here really do demonstrate exactly why I have left the UK and have zero intention of returning any time soon. Literally just read someone essentially being an apologist for Emmett Tills murder. Just astounding.

I was born in London as was my DC but the constant messaging all the time is one of "you don't belong" regardless of what my passport says. Too many people don't want the status quo to change. It's easy to not want it to change when you benefit from the structures that exist and living in blissful ignorance has zero effect on your daily life I guess.

It is the constant denial of those structures from the Government down, that gets my goat.

I'm glad it has Hadaly on a separate note I just know that if I were to respond to the 'demands' for evidence with my anecdote about why WFH was one of the best things that ever happened to me during covid lockdowns I just KNOW it would spark another deluge of crap but I'm yet to find a BW who did not feel even the tiniest bit of relief!!

And it's PoC in the government who are doing the loudest denying, that's what gets me the most.

On a not entirely unrelated note, I see that the Prince and Princess of Wales have attended the Jordanian royal wedding today. Along with the entire Middleton family who I didn't think were that close to the king and queen of Jordan! Sorry but can you imagine the hooha on MN if Doria had done the same with Meghan and Harry? As it was her appearance at an awards show with them was commented on disparagingly the other week.

And it's PoC in the government who are doing the loudest denying, that's what gets me the most.

Absolutely @PinotGroggio . They have these people doing their dirty work for them, because they can then turn around and say well the Conservative party is not racist, how can it be, look who is PM, who is Home secretary, yadda yadda!

And you are not wrong about the Middletons not likely to be criticized here for attending with Kate, to the Royal wedding in Jordan, unlike Meghan, and her mother. There seems to be a blind spot whenever Kate does something, and a full beam on Meghan, if she does the same, or something similar. I have no need to wonder why!

Princess Kate lived in Jordan for three years as a child, went to school there learning Arabic and studying the Quran. Has Meghan lived in Jordan? Does she speak Arabic?

Totally agree and I’ve been ahead of the curve, I’m an editor so have always WFH. I chose that career as I don’t have to be in an office and visible and so less likely to be judged on anything other than my work. Only other BW get it, so I’m with you on that 100%.

Princess Kate lived in Jordan for three years as a child, went to school there learning Arabic and studying the Quran. Has Meghan lived in Jordan? Does she speak Arabic?

She lived there from age 2-4 so she wouldn't have gone to school there, much less study the Quran or learn Arabic.

Of course she should go to the wedding, she's one of the royal representatives there. Her entire family though?

That's not the point being made about the entire Middleton family.

Members, and that includes minor members, of the British royal family going to another royal family in the world's wedding is normal.

Simply because the blood royals will very likely be related to each other thanks to how marriages were historically arranged. And even if they aren't related for diplomatic purposes they will invite the British royal family and someone will be told to go to represent them.

However your non-royal family members shouldn't be invited.

Oh, I missed that because the Middleton family were invited by Queen Rania (also not of royal blood), because they’d lived in Jordan and their children (including Kate) went to the same international nursery school as some of the Jordanian princes and princesses so the Middleton family as a whole know their family.

She did, she went to an international nursery school.

My DD (adopted, the rest of the family is White) is mixed ethnicity and we've had "oh such lovely brown eyes like Maltesers" (WTAF), "oh that's not a name I was expecting [she has an old lady English name... like a lot of children, they are trendy!], I thought she'd be called Jasmine or something". Why Jasmine??
And of course "where is she from" (we live down the hill) "no where is she from" (name of town, she wasn't born here* but we live here).

I have at least 3 times been out with her as a baby/toddler with an Indian friend (3 different friends) and staff have assumed she was their baby. She isn't Indian or indeed anything approaching South Asian.

*In fact, my DCs are both adopted from overseas but my friend's DS is the same ethnicity and was born in the next town and it's HER story to tell if SHE wants to tell it. Not mine. Sod off.

Ok I didn't know she went to the same nursery school as, I assume, some of Abdullah's siblings. I highly doubt she would've studied Arabic and the Quran at ages 2-4 at an English-speaking nursery school!

Race relations 😉 Black Mumsnetters. The gift that keeps on giving.

Apparently Queen Rania, was big on multi-cultural & multi-racial exposure for her children as the international nurseries and schools have children from all over the world.

I wish the British royal family were the same.

The article I read mentioned the nursery worker saying they’d speak to the children in English and then repeat the same in Arabic, so good morning, put away your shoes, hang up your coat. How are you. Please/thank you. Basic conversation in English and Arabic. That they learned nursery rhymes and songs like incey wincey spider in both English and Arabic. That story time was always stories of the prophets from the Quran (instead of hungry caterpillar or Thomas the tank engine).