December 2010 - good-bye flat tummies (as if I had one... ha ha ha)

[Persnickety]

Right, I've done the honours. This is our new thread.

And don't forget the stats thread

MrsSnaplegs you must be nearer 19 +4 as I am due around 13th nd I am just over 18 weeks now. I'd call the hospital or midwife to check what's happening with the scan.

gosh LittleB that sounds awful. I would definitely complain.

Little b, I'd complain & I'm not usually quick to (we all make mistakes) but the fact you challenged the info & weren't respected would have really riled me.

Haven't been able to keep up with you all seeing as moving, decorating, working away etc & only read the last page just now...seems quite a few of us are around 20 weeks... My scan's next tue & will be hopefully reassuring as I haven't identified fluttering from kicks yet (though I have a lively digestion system so hard to tell).

Sorry to read some sad stories. One of my best friends lost her 1st during difficult labour which was bad enough, but to happen to your own...amazing what we're capable of coping with. Happily she has 3 fab girls now.

X

20 weeks today

chooster and jojo sorry to hear about your losses, it must be a battle at times.

Who ever asked about sex - no not gone off it, but am finding it difficult (position wise) already. Wasnt like this with DD I dont think...

Im feeling lots of kicks and wiggles which is a real reassurance. Not really coping with all the stress right now, not looking forward to court, had some paper work through yesterday and it set me off on a blind panic.

Got my scan tomorrow very exciting

and 17 days till we move house good, but hard work

Lavitabella - I'm not sure. I keep referring to pip as a 'she' though.

Wholelottalove - me too. It's just become so difficult to have sex and I'm still so tired all the time!

LittleB Please contact me as I can help with this - although shouldn't confess to this on an open forum as I will be inundated - Healthcare Governance is "my bag"
This is a breach of the Caldicott Principles of patient confidentiality - not for you but for the other patient.

Although the treatment from the 2nd doctor wasn't ideal some of them do nt have good social skills and he/she may have been very nervous if they thought there had been an issue with your previous consultation - not an excuse for the behaviour but I have seen it happen.

A complaint will have to be recognised by the hospital and addressed, even if it only results in an apology for you and some staff training for others if it prevents it happening to someone else it is positive.

DF Yep you are right i am 20 weeks on Friday - oops better ring MW back and sort out appt and scan!

Feeling ok after long walk yesterday - better than I was expecting although did get 10 hours sleep yesterday

Sorry to hear the sad stories of those with losses - joepfully this will be a much better time for you all.

OWO and Bakingkeepsmesane - moving house in pregnancy - keep horror stories till later please we are still waiting to be allocated a house down here! the longer it takes the further on I am getting the worse I know it is going to be!!

Wholelottalove - sex - what's that? Oh yes i remeber now - might give it a try this weekend when I get home

Have a good day everyone

Sex! well I feel like I want it but by the time me and DH get round to it I am usually far too tired! We have a friend of DH's staying too and so they seem to be doing a lot of staying up late with a couple of cans of beers, specially at the weekends, so by the time we do pencil it in it's usually too late.

Because of our fertility issues we used to have a lot of sex but it all became quite mechanical if that makes sense; then with the IVF we were told to abstain at certain points so I was looking forward to being able to have a bit of sex for the fun of it but it's not worked out that way! Hrmmph!

cherryl your bump is lovely!!!! Wow...

Good to hear others have huge bumps too. I envy those with small bodies as I was hoping to keep my body and be one of those tiny moms.... I am very conscious about my bump and feel that I have put on too much weight (10 lbs so far). I have never been in my life this heavy or this big and I don't know how to deal with it really...

LittleB what a consultant??? I agree that you should complain. Not only for yourself also for the poor girl, whose information was given to you although you protested! Gosh they should be so much more careful!

DF my sex life is out of window too. Maybe because I feel too tired and fat and maybe because I am all so oiled up at night that DH doesn't dare to touch me...

MrsSnaplegs your due date is exactly like mine (the one I was given by scan - not the one I calculated myself, which is Dec 6th) so you are 19+5 today. I don't really believe in due dates as I read only 10% of children actually are born on this date! Rather arbitrary.

I am dying to know the sex of my baby. I am very that I won't have my scan till mid 21 weeks and have to wait 13 more days to find out about sex and baby's health.

littleB - I've got a consultant appt for the same reason - yours sounds very stressful and how disappointing that they bring you in to tell you not very much except that they'll see you again in a few weeks. I don't see why they don't do an inital examintation there and then. I think its worth complaining - the original dr was obviously cutting corners by not checking your name with your DOB. I've actually never been to the drs when they haven't asked that as well, as same names are so common! And also, if they got the mix up the other way round, can you imagine how stressful it woudl be for the other girl to be told that she had a cervical cancer scare in the past!

Do you have another hospital in your area? We had a choice of two and its quite nice to know that I could change if I needed to. Mind you, I'm with MrsSnapLegs here in that I'm likely to be moving whilst pregnant. Quite possibly when I'm 8+ months as well. Oh the joys! Mind you, the mw did say that if you have a choice, move when pg not with a newborn!

Hmmm, sex. Me and DH nearly fell out about that a few weeks ago as I complained that I didn't get enough. Its hard to make the effort as I feel fat and tired. And my heightened sense of smell does create a few mental barriers for me. However, I have also been getting one of the, errr, other side effects for the second trimester - though sadly never at an appropriate time!

On the other sex question, we're going to try to not find out. From hearing a few stories, it sounds like its worth telling the sonographer before she starts the scan that you DON'T want to know - one friend got told the sex even through she didn't want to know it. I think I'll probably find out for future babies but I'd like a surprise for this one.

And progress today - the misogynist pig who thinks that pg women should be fired spoke to me for the first time since I came out (of the pg closet, obv, not the other closet ). He even asked me how i was feeling.

Anyone else finding it strange that people are looking at your tummies (rather than your face) first when they say hello to you! At least, I hope they're looking at my tummy, not at my ginormous boobies!

Hi all,

I am off to my second midwife appt this afternoon so will hopefully hear a heartbeat. My bump is being very odd at the moment - one day it looks definitely there, the next I don't look pg at all. It's definitely a lot bigger than it was a few weeks ago and I can feel a solid bump even when I lie down but I guess it will emerge properly in the next few weeks (i am 16+6 today).
On the two sex questions - I am definitely up for it far more than before but DH isn't that interested. We are still doing it, just not as often as before - maybe once a week(much to my frustration!) Maybe it's something to do with having "done the job" it was intended before, there is some off switch in some men's minds? We are having lots of cuddles though.
As to the other sex question - yes we are hopefully going to find out. I didn't particularly want to know but then at the 12 wk scan i suddenly had a craving to know what it was. DH is also keen to know.
Speaking of cravings - has anyone had any? I haven't at all and am wondering if/when this will start!

Chloe I haven't had any cravings at all, and I didn't with DS either. I've always just put this down to how ill I've been though.

We're probably going to find out the sex this time. We didn't with DS (on my insistence) so we will this time. Quick question though - how far along were you when you got your scan appointment through? I'm 16+5 and haven't got my appointment yet.

Queen i got my 20 wk scan appt when i went for the 12 week one - just booked it in with the receptionist at the hospital

I'm nesting. At 19weeks. What on earth is that all about? .

I haven't stopped for the last 2 days. Back room has been gutted and tidied. It's unrecognisable. Carpet scrubbed.

Today it was our bedrooms turn. I made DP take the bed apart so I could get underneath it and clear that out.

Goodness only knows what I'm going to tackle tomorrow. I wish it was our house as I want to attack the garden.

I hope it doesn't rain between now and the weekend as I want to borrow my dads car to do a biiiiig car boot at the weekend.

CherylannTweedy Oooh - feeling the urge to clean as well but as I am in a single room on shared accoommodation during the week and have a daily cleaner not much for me to do. don't feel i should clean atw/end as will impact on what little time I have with family and undermine the "wonderful" job my househusband does - I am sure I can find something to do - definately feel the need to have a clear out and do a car boot sale!

Argh - I think I was supposed to do that. I didn't. Bugger I'd better phone them pronto!

Is anyone thinking of having a homebirth? I had DS in hospital but I'm thinking with the timing of this one it might be better (logistically) to go for homebirth. If I'm in labour on Christmas day, we'll have a hard time getting childcare as DP's family will all be up in London. Also thinking that with homebirth if you've hired a pool you're guaranteed a pool is available whereas in hospital someone else might be using it. Spoke to a MW on Monday who says I'd be perfect for homebirth with my history. (gave birth to 9lb 8oz DS with no assistance)

QueenofDreamsI am thinking of a home birth now, I am down as wanting one. I alternate between thinking it's best as I find hospitals terrifying and upsetting (long story) and thinking I will need more pain relief than possible at home ie. epidural.

Also had complete volte-face and started buying baby clothes in sales
a) because they are cheaper and I hate paying full-price if I don't have to
b) because we are 90% definitely moving abroad in March so makes sense to pick up 3-6 months and older cotton summer clothes in sales now.
(Have started threads asking what babies wear in hot countries)
c) and finally because I have had a really horrible 48 hours with a member of my family becoming paranoid and very aggressive, probably due to the medical drugs they have been put on. As I was visiting them at the time, and ended up having to flee the house and get the last train back to London, arriving 1am last night, I feel shaky and weepy still - and worried about what this terrible stress has done to Tiny.

Buying clothes for Tiny to wear next year is comforting and makes me feel that I am caring for Tiny, and myself, despite the shock.

Hi girls, I have my 16 week scan tomorrow and we have the option of the amnio, we have a 1 in 8 chance of patau and downs. I had a consultants app on Monday and he said I cannot make your mind up for you but I think it would be wise to have the amnio test. I am 39 and we have waited so long for this baby. I just pray it all goes ok tomorrow.
Wish me luck

hi QueenofDreams - I really want to start buying clothes and feel happy about this pregnancy, but I have been down for a couple of weeks now. I have choosen the cot and the buggy and just pray everything is going to be OK.

If you feel happier at home then go for that, you have to do what feels right for you xx

Jools just wanted to wish you good luck for tomorrow

Lavitabella - Thank you honey x

Good luck jools70 try to stay relaxed. My Amnio was fine but I know how stressful the whole thing is.

Miffster - sorry to hear about the trouble with your relative, hope things are better now you are home.

Good luck tomorrow Jools

Ahh sex, I dont have the option so can't really answer

Ok, I know I freak out alot about stuff but this one is actually scaring me, I have been feeling really maternal (good thing I know) but also really possessive over the baby, to the point where it made me feel sick last night just thinking about the fact that other people (mainly Ex BF and his family) are gonna be involved with the baby, there for birth and after, touching and feeding and changing nappies, even the thought that he is going to pick the baby up makes me cringe and want to hit him...I know its completely unreasonable but just wondered if anyone else had ever had any really strong possessive feeling over an unborn baby or if I'm just losing the plot lol

Thank you all for your support.

jools70 - my thoughts are with you , all the best for tomorrow

miffster sorry to hear about your ordeal, tiny will be fine just relax now.

aimee - we all feel possessive, I am in a "normal" situation and hated the whole thing first time round with my mum, his mum every man and his dog wanting to be involved - it's normal for them to want to be involved and normal for you to want to wrap you and LO up in your own little cocoon and tell the rest of the world to clear off - just need to get the balance right!! Have you got someone close yet to help support you? sit down with them to start writing a list of "ground rules" for visitors eg times to visit and length of times to stay - remember you will be tired and emotional afterwards and both of you will need to rest - don't let others bully you into doing things you don't want to do but don't turn away help when it is genuinely offered.
This time round we are not having visitors to stay at the house either before or after - they can come down but need to stay in a B&B or something. there will be restrictions on times we will allow visitors so baby and I can get proper rest and he/she can bond with my DD as well

good luck jools for tomorrow.

I've just been to my 16wk check up now and heard the heartbeat loud and clear. twas lovely!

miffster i too have been buying a few bits. newborn clothes are just too cute to resist. i have got a few warm fleecy all-in-one things (don't know the proper name, sorry!) and got a bargain bundle of various babygrows, tops and trousers from ebay. all are now freshly washed in non-bio and will sit there for another five months while I periodically go and stroke them!