December 2010 - good-bye flat tummies (as if I had one... ha ha ha)

[Persnickety]

Right, I've done the honours. This is our new thread.

And don't forget the stats thread

aimee I feel possesive too, sort of - I think I was too relaxed when I had DD and I dont want to repeat that.

Jools all the best tomorrow - good luck

Im really nervous about my 20 weeks scan tomorrow now incase some thing is wrong. Although I have car seat / cot / pram etc (from DD) I havent bought one thing for this baby yet.

I remember when I found out I was PG with DD I went out and bought some cute clothes and a teddy, but nothing this time. Most odd.

aimee it is normal. You are growing this baby in your womb and ex bf didn't necessarily treat you well and nor did his family. You may at the end come to terms just for the kids sake to have him in his/her life but it is totally normal to not be happy about it. I sometime think it is so unfair that I am doing all the work and DH will get same rights as father! No honestly, I am putting my body on the frontline here... I am possesive towards this baby too... It is MINE.. lol...

lol thanks guys great to know I'm not the only one...urgh boys not gonna go on another rant but the word 'urgh' sums up my feelings towards boys perfectly (I say boys as I'm sure your partners and husbands are fully grown men and are perfectly nice )

I need to win the lottery in order to move to a completely different part of the country and have the baby by myself and never be found by stupid Ex BF, now all I need to do is find £1.50 a week from somewhere...

Maybe I should start looking at the floor when walking the streets

CherylannTweedy not even pregnancy can give me the urge to clean lol!

miffster how awful to go through that, but tiny will be fine, babies are designed to be extremely resilient.

jools70 good luck tomorrow with whatever you decide, I've just been through an amnio so I won't say don't worry! Just remember its 7:8 for a healthy baby.

queen I am having a hospital birth at 38 weeks and have got a midwife I trust already booked in! They don't really go for home births where I am and anyway I need the security this time. If you've been given the go ahead why not, they seem to be much less stressful and what better place to bring your baby into the world than home?

chloe I've never had cravings in any pregnancy and thinking about it don't know anyone who has?

jools just saw your post and wishing you the best of luck for tomorrow...

Ok so I'm supposed to be going for my 18 week scan tomorrow but DH can't get time off work to come with me. He said he didn't mind if I went alone with MIL. What should I do, go and possibly find out the sex or wait and go with him on his next day off??????

If you want, you could get the sonographer to write down the sex of the baby and put it in an envelope, so you and your DP could discover together later on>

CherylAnnTweedy - I'm nesting too! Not doing a great job of it as I'm so tired but I've cleaned bits of the house that haven't been cleaned in ages, like under the bed! DH thinks it's great.

QueenofDreams - I'm going for a home waterbirth. My area is supportive of them and has a higher rate of home births than nationally. I want to be able to guarantee a pool is available for me and as it can take ages to get through traffic to get to the hospital (the longest it's ever taken me is 2 hours but an ambulance can do it in 20 minutes tops) I'd prefer to stay at home if I can. I also want to minimise interventions and know how important staying calm and having more control is for me in managing pain levels. I guess maybe I'm a bit unusual in that I actively don't want an epidural because various health issues mean they're far less likely to work in me!

japhrimel I also actively don't want an epidural. i just know that they can cause problems delivering, and can also be botched which causes problems as well. I didn't have an epidural with DS. Whereabouts are you?

jools hoping for positive results for you (positive as in good obviously)

Jools sending you good wishes and hopeful vibes.

Everyone, thank you for the reassurance about stress affecting babies!

I have just bought six more sleepsuits, I am in danger of using baby clothes as a sort of drug to calm myself down! At least I am trying to be sensible and buying various sizes - 3-6 months and 0-3.

Japhrimel and QoD am aiming for home waterbirth. Reading 'Stand and Deliver' at the moment, will be getting Ina May next.

I'm actively against an epidural too. I have read they can stop you from being able to push and can lead to more intervention which I hope to avoid. I don't know if I should put in my birth plan that I definitely don't want one or if I should leave it as an option just in case.

I got my Moby Sling from E-bay today. It's lovely - green as we don't know the sex of the baby. My DH says he will use it too

Best of luck jools!

Yippeeeeeeeeee! I went to see the consultant today and he said my bicornurate uterus is pretty much a non-issue, which means I can try for a home birth, hooray! He didn't actually say it was fine but they never do, he was as positive about it as it was possible to be without actually saying it was completely fine. We're only 7 minutes drive away from the hospital so I'm happy to give it a go. This is such fantastic news. I'm also hoping to have a home water birth. Has anyone actually had one? Advice would be great.

Sex is a strange one. I feel rather ahem excitable a lot of the time but as others have said I get tired so much right now it's not easy finding a time. Also, after my threatened miscarriage early on we didn't want to risk it until after I'd had the 12 week scan. And now I seem to be supersensitive down there and not in a good way. Sex is actually a bit painful at the moment. Urgh will I ever have a sex life again?!

good luck for tomorrow jools

DF I was anti-epidural last time round but in the event, I did need one, so my advice is keep your options open. You cannot predict what will happen during labour so I wouldn't rule anything out. (hope that doesn't come across as scary, it wasn't meant to )

good news GGG - I can't offer any advice as I ended up with a highly medicalised delivery first time round but a friend of mine had her baby at home and it worked out brilliantly for her.

wrt sex, this time round I've maintained a bit more of a sex life (after getting over the initial exhausted phase of pregnancy) but bizzarely DH insists on using a condom!!!!

Good luck for tomorrow Jools

Another one here hoping for a home water birth, but won't make the final decision until I am 36 weeks and have another Group B Strep swab now.

GGG no experience here either, but that's great news about what the consultant said.

Has anyone else having HB or hospital birth thought about a doula? We are having one and as she is a trainee it is £200 which is covered by the health in maternity grant and includes using her birth pool, tens machine, homeopathic birthing kit, visits etc etc. So a good deal and there are lots of trainee doulas around espeically in London. Even if we end up in hospital I think it will be worth it as I had a loooong labour with DD and saw a lot of different midwifes throughout it and was left alone and upset/frightened as well so DH and I both decided we needed a little more support.

I was slightly worried that as it is Christmas (well I'm due on 17th but it will be xmas if I go overdue) there may be less midwifes available because of leave etc, which might mean one not available to come out for HB.

The one thing I would say, is whatever type of birth you plan, make sure you plan for it to deviate from your plan IFSWIM.

Forgot to comment on the sex issue I felt hideous for the first 12 weeks and did it twice in that time, but I was so worried about hurting the babies/causing something awful to happen I just didn't enjoy it at all. Now I am feeling far more into than usual but am always sick afterwards - too much moving around I think sorry for the TMI!!

Ah df I have the green moby sling. I need to find it as I haven't used it in so long, and we have moved house since then. I've decided against getting a double buggy (can't afford it anyway) so new baby will be lugged everywhere in the sling while DS has the buggy. I actually went everywhere with DS in the sling when he was tiny. Small tip - there are videos on youtube showing how to tie a wrap sling, so definitely look at those and have a practice.

wholelottalove yep I'm pretty aware that you don't always get the birth you plan. DS was nearly 3 weeks overdue, so there's no way they would have allowed a home birth with him. Hopefully this one will decide to arrive more punctually.

QueenofDreams - I'm in the Berkshire West PCT. They're very pro-home birth compared to many areas. And although I dislike the Royal Berks Hospital (mainly because it's huge, confusing and parking is a nightmare plus bad A&E experience) they're implementing an official "baby friendly" policy which I think is great - one of the things it means is that formula will only ever be mentioned by staff if really medically advised and they support breastfeeding more.

wholelottalove - I definitely realise that birth plans need to be flexible!

maxpower - I think I'm a bit weird because an epidural is so likely to not work for me (local anaesthetics don't work and I have a compressed lumbar spine so getting an epidural in is going to be extra tricky anyway) that it's not really an option for pain relief. If I need an EMCS and there's time to try a spinal, then fine, but I'm okay with the fact that a GA may well be needed in those circs.

japhrimel I can totally respect that!

mm the whole epidural debate - had that chat this evening at dinner with an anaesthetic registrar!!

I didn't last time - had normal delivery with no pain relief at a MLU at Stoke Mandeville (horrible place -sorry) however I was 5 yrs younger and my ME was well controlled. This time I know I do not have the same energy levels so am considering an epidural this time. I would love a home birth with a doula but as we still haven't got a home down here yet I am planning to go to local MLU and if I need it have an epidural. I will be staying home for longer this time before hand - got fed up last time after my waters went of being sent home after being told I wasn't in labour - didn't have what you all imagine as contractions until about an hour before delivery(only backache before that)
Also will be going home sooner - hated being in ward with others during such a special time - reminded me of years of nursing which I left because I hated the fact we could no longer really care for patients!

Hello all, been reading loads but not much to report here. Just wanted to say welcome to jobob and good luck tomorrow to jools.

Glad to hear that others are a bit wary about sharing the good news in rl. Partly superstition and partly denial on my part but I still haven't told more than a couple of colleagues yet - I am thinking of waiting until after my 20 week scan in 2.5 wks.

Jeez, is everyone having sex? That's what got me into this mess!

I had my 16 week appointment today and it was rather dull, except I did get to hear the heart beat which was nice because I have had this irrational fear of miscarriage ever since the CVS. But, all is apparently well.

I asked today when I could see the consultant to schedule a section and she said "36 weeks". I stared at her and she said "34 weeks" and I said "Way too late" So she suggested I book in with the consultant the week after my 20 week scan, which I did. So, I went away happy.

I have to do a mini GTT at 28 weeks, which seems like a big waste of oney to me. There is absolutely no reason to think I might have gestational diabetes. They give this test to everyone.

Hello everyone been on holiday back home to Wales for the last fortnight had a fantastic time and have come home feeling relaxed and full of energy. Went to see the consultant yest as my blood pressure has been slightly high was great as he did a scan and I got to see the baby moving like a mad thing! Blood pressure still slightly up so have to go back in 4 weeks I don't mind at all if I get another scan.

I was also told that the blood test had found that I was a carrier of group B strep does anyone have any experience of this? They have said that I will have to have a drip of antibiotics throughout labour or as soon as my waters go. Slightly disappointed as had a lot of monitoring last time and an epidural due to a long back to back labour and lots of bleeding so was hoping to give it a go more naturally this time. Hope everyone is feeling well

Check out the GBS Support site. If you are a carrier with no other risk factors, they say IV antibiotics should be available but are not a "must-do".

Also, if you make your wishes clear they should be able to let you have the IV and still move around etc.

So I've had the scan, I asked the guy doing the scan if he could tell the gender at this scan could he write it down on a paper and seal it in an envelope..... It's sitting here waiting for DH to come home! Such a good idea OnlyWantsOne

Good luck today Jools - I really hope it goes well today and that you feel comfortable with whatever you decide about the amnio. Its such a personal choice. A friend of mine had odds similar to yours a opted not to have any invasive tests and yet I had odds of 1:202 and opted to have one. As DF says, the actual procedure is fine and you should get some news with 48 hours. Fingers (and everything else) crossed for you today

Speaking of which I got my initial amnio results this morning and all is fine . The consutant had to leave a voice mail intially and thankfully she said the words 'good news' in the message as it was another 45 mins before I could get hold of her again. I'm so relieved and feel I can start to relax a little more.

Minimoo - I had GBS with DS2 and as soon as I my waters went I went to hospital where I had my first lot of anti-bio's. If its the same as me, they just left the canula in my hand and gave my the drugs every few hours so I was never on a constant drip and as a result my mobility and my birth experience wasn't affected at all by the GBS. It just meant I was at hospital earlier than I would normally have been and had to be induced as labour wasn't progressing well. To be honest I found the whole thing quite relaxing as they let me wander the grounds of the hospital in between the anti-biotics and so I spent the first part of my labout walking around with DH watching the sun come up over the Edinburgh hills .

On the epidural side of things - DS1 was born without epidural and DS2 was born with an epidural. With DS1 I had heavy bleeding at 5 days overdue so he was induced and they had to use high doses of the drug (syntocin I think). Gas and air made me sick and so I had diamorphine which made me halucinate -very strange feeling! All the people in the room turned orange . So once that wore off I didn't want any other pain relief. Anyway when I had DS2 the midwives said that if I could get through such high amounts of syntocin without an epi then I'd be fine this time, but oddly I wasn't. At 5 cm I found the pain to be too much and progress was slow so I opted for the epidural and it was amazing! I can totally appreciate why people dont want one but for me it made me enjoy labour so much more. It was a mobile epidural so I could still get up and move about and I could feel the sensation of pushing without the pain. As it was it was worked out for the best as the placenta got stuck and so I had to go to theatre to have it removed and so they just upped the epidural.

So I'll be open this time to anything - as others have said there is nothing wrong with birth plans that say what you would like to happen as long as you dont feel you've 'failed' if it doesn't go that way. Flexability is the key!

I had a look at the moby sling after it was mentioned on here and it looks great. I think I'll get one to try out. I've never really used slings before but I think I'd like this option this time round.

Aimee - I can totally understand your feelings! I used to get quite jealous of my mum / MIL holding the DS's and couldn't wait to get them back .

Sorry for the mammoth post, but I'm on a roll!!! Speaking of a doula, its not something I would have considered but DH has gone for an 18 month contract job in Heathrow starting in August. He has quite a high chance of getting it (I think anyway) and it would mean that he possibly may not be here for the birth. DS1 was late and DS2 was 2 weeks early so we couldn't guarantee that he could make it back as it will involve a flight from London to Edinburgh or a 6 hour drive. As much as I love my family I wouldn't want my mum or MIL there and I have no siblings. But a friend of mine is a trained doula, and she's just round the corner so this could be an option. Would anyone else feel a bit odd about a friend seeig all your 'bits' even though its stuff she's seen dozens of times before? It jsut feels a little strange although I know I wont care at the time .

The fact that DH may not be around except on weekends for the first year of DS3's life is something I'm blocking out at the moment

Phew!!! All done - sorry for the mammoth novel...