November 2010 - From Flump to Bump!

[hmmSleep]

This is the new discussion thread .
Stats thread here

Smokey - do you have a college or something nearby where they might train nannies/nursery nurses? Apparently they are are often looking for placements as part of their course and newborn twins are quite a good 'learning experience' for them!

Cor, this thread moves! Mind you, not been here for 9 days. Too wiped out and pukey!

Er, guess I'm a newbie and feel a bit daft doing the meet-and-greet thing, but still, hello delhibelly, and hoping to catch up with this and the previous thread and see who else is even more newly-joined

Sorry to hear the news of your Nana, threelittleducks

And Loopymumsy, I don't suppose you're here any more but I caught the tail end of your sad news and as I slightly 'know' you through slings, sending a very un-MN hug!

Oh and umf you have my sympathy with the passive-aggressive 'oh no we never directly took a swipe or Made Our Views Known' PILs!

A friend of mine (who has been a counsellor and has opinions!) suggested that a tactic to bring it into the open where it can be dealt with, without being (passive-aggressively) accused of over-reacting, is to respond with, "What it sounds as though you're trying to say is...." Genius idea of his! I shall give it a try with MIL

Now it turns out I'm having a CVS tomorrow morning. They couldn't get a good enough angle to do a nuchal but the triple serum came back with 1/116 probability of Down (prefer to use the word 'probability' rather than 'risk'). Not all that high really but enough to make my DP more anxious than I can deal with. Hope I'm doing the right thing - can't deal with an anxious DP for another 5 1/2 months! If I lived elsewhere I probably wouldn't take the risk of CVS, but I gather it's practically zilch if you have a good consultant, and our local hospital has a very good fetal medicine unit. Not saying where as I've already referred to two of the obs cons as 'Mr Lush' and 'Mr Spiv'!

And so glad the CVS and initial results part will be over before PIL arrive next Thursday (they don't know about preggers yet - DP wanted it to be a lovely surprise for them if all went well). Partly for their sake as they can't fret over a done deed.

And partly for mine. FIL would be easy enough company to have around but MIL would stress me to boiling point with blatant judgey-pants and constant advice. And no reassurance will stop her. She thinks the last word in practical advice is gleaned from anecdotes in magazines aimed at OAPs set in yesteryear. Whereas my choices are rationally-grounded in anecdotes from Mumsnet.

Quietly panicking about tomorrow though! Had a few tut-tuts in real life but most people supportive or at least non-judgemental about it.

Hope to catch up with rest of thread soon but hope everyone doing well!

Kawaiiko like you I'm now feeling definitely preggers... The bump is expanding and well into maternity wear now. Still haven't had many movement feelings yet, although apparently my placenta is at the front so might be cushioning it a bit still...

Nearly 18 weeks, so getting excited about the big 20 week scan!

Have my booking in appointment with community midwives next Tuesday for a homebirth... Very excited at the fact that this is now underway...I hope it happens!

llandb please try not to worry. Someone I know had similar results to you, had a CVS and absolutely nothing to worry about - the risk is still VERY small despite the stats. I do agree though, I couldn't bear the not knowing and no one can judge you for that. The risk of downs is still a bit higher (although small) than the risk of miscarriage, so Im sure all will be well. Good luck with it.

Is anyone planning on doing a bit of hypnobirthing? I'm going to book for a course I think, on the advice of the doula... Anything's worth a try!

llandb thank you for the dealing with PiL tip!! My own family have wild and crazy faults but they don't do passive-aggressive and so I am completely stumped by it. Lack of early training. (On the other hand, DH must have had plenty of early practice, and he's not much use with it either.)

Apparently PiLs are coming to visit in the summer so I might read up and work on some tactics. Otherwise the whole visit will be death by a thousand needle pricks for me.

Good luck with CVS. Glad you have a good hosp. V pleased with what I've seen and heard of the one here too, makes a big difference to how I feel about the whole pregnancy.

Poor little DS (v pfb) had his second MMR and preschool booster today. I made DH take him on the grounds that I'd done all the other immunisations and am in an enfeebled state. Sounds like it was very traumatic for both of them, poor lambs.

Oh, and we met the doula (well, trainee doula) today. I like her and so does DH, so think we'll go with her, even though haven't interviewed any others.

All the best for tomorrow llandb - hope it goes smoothly

llandb good luck with your CVS

honeymoo I've borrowed a hypnobirthing manual and CD from a friend. She spent lots of money on the course, but having read through the material with DH it's really not his kind of thing. So rather than spending money and forcing him to do something he's not keen on, I'm just practising the breathing and the visualisations. They recommned practising the breathing on the toilet and I have to say it has made going when slightly constipated much easier

Is anyone else getting lots of stretching pains? I've been getting really strong pains at the sides of my flump this week - last night they were so bad I couldn't move for about half an hour. I'm hoping this just means LO is having a growth spurt.

Thanks, honeymoo, umf, PrivetDancer, and bunnygirl80, for the reassurance and good wishes. I have told DP he must do all child-wrangling for the weekend, so hoping for some MN time!

honeymoo good luck and fingers crossed that you get your homebirth! I'm casually thinking of looking into hypnobirthing (depending on whether it's to be vbac or elcs), but not sure where to start. I think a course isn't something I'd get around to attending so maybe bunnygirl80's CD and manual plan is the way to go (no pun intended with regard to practicing breathing on loo! )

umf My counsel-giving friend is full of advice and some of it is even useful!

I hope your DH has escaped that p-a habit. Sometimes I think families teach by counter-example! And good luck to your DS post-vac. Enfeebled state very good excuse (and a valid one!)

'Night to everyone and their flump!

. I think hypnobirthing sounds like a very good plan, but I have got no further than that in my reflection. If you find a good CD or something, please recommend!

Clueless glad to hear the scary bleeding has passed again. It must be stressful. But good news on hearing the heartbeat at your check. I had a mw appt this week too and it was certainly lovely to hear it (first time for me). Headaches are a pain though. I find I get them more as well.

Landb good luck with the CVS. Sounds like it will be just fine and a good excuse to chill out for the weekend. The passive agressive PILs sound like a nightmare - and for umf too. It's a tactic I really hate and calling it out sounds like a good way forward. I am seriously lucky to have the sweetest PILs ever.

I also saw the Feb 2010 thread and started to feel less of a newb to this whole thing!

Hi all. Yes Hypnobirthing has been raved about, so determined to give it a try. I'm just not convinced a CD will be enough. Let's face it Paul McKennas I can make you think did absolutely jack shit!!!

Bunny I would say, it's not really up to the guy is it? No offence intended, but frankly my husband doesn't get a bloody choice - he has to do what he's told given he isn't the one pooing out a watermelon equivalent.

Hi Witty!

Afternoon all, I'm back from my trip to Kuala Lumpur, which was fab and have the day at home to get over my jet-lag... and try to catch up with the thread!
landb- good luck for the CVS and glad jfly and smokey's results were good!
I still don't have a bump, just a slightly expanded waist, although my belly button's started feeling a bit stretchy the past few days and my boobs have been like rocks, so maybe things will pop out soon?
Also, took the quiz and came out 60% boy, but I really wasn't sure about some of the questions like direction of pillow or colour of wee !
clueless- glad bleeding easing off- could they still see the haematoma at your scan?
I'm also interested in hypnobirthing too, but not sure I really want to pay that much for a course- might just see if the local library have a CD first! TBH, I was really calm in DD's labour anyway with yoga breathing... staying calm wasn't really the problem!
Anyway, I'm off to try and find something I want to eat as my body is all over the place.

Welcome back b00kw0rm!

Hope CVS goes well llandb, make sure you put your feet up afterwards.

Just realised the baby gender test I took was a different one, this is the one I did. Just as silly but no need to work out direction of pillow!

Was wondering if I'm the only one not looking into hypnobirthing, doulas, water-births, home-births etc? I'm planning on heading to hospital, seeing how it goes and making decisions on how I feel at the time.

hmmsleep you are not the only one. i've been thinking i was alone in heading to hospital! Not that i had much choice with 2 dd's, they were both so comfy they didn't want to come out. i'm praying not to be induced for a third time.

DP has given me his rotten cough, but obviously not as bad as his cos he has MANcold.

Good luck llandb Kyuri I´m in France at the moment and I´m not eating unpasturised milk products and any uncooked meats but nobody batted an eyelid when I ate the pate that was put out for us and they´ve given me a soft-boiled egg every morning. I live in Germany and my doctor told me to take toxoplasmosis seriously (she tests me for it at every check-up) but that listeriosis is much less of a problem in that in theory it can lurk anywhere, but in practice getting it is a matter of sheer bad luck, if you see what I mean.

We´re here with a group, most of which are older than my parents so they have all been clucking over me, especially two of the ladies, both childless, who have been advising me where to give birth. They were doing the whole "hospital A is better", "oh, yes but if you have any proplems, go to hospital B, dear" followed by the pair of them glaring at each other over the breakfast table. Oh dear.

Regarding maternity bras, do they have to be a special type of bra, or can I get any one as long as it fits?

b00kw0rm, the scan at 13 weeks was the first one that showed the haematoma, I have another scan at 18 and 20 weeks to check if it is getting bigger or smaller, the mw yesterday was again brilliant, I asked how the bleeding would affect my chances of hb, she is very pro homebirth and was employed initially to do only home birth consultations but there hasnt been enough to keep her busy, she said if the bleeding contuinued she would refer me onto a consultant midwife who would manage my care and give me advice independantly from the consultant led care, which is great because in my experience the consultants never want to take any risks and will bring you into hospital, if she assess my case and sees that I am bleeding for a reason that isnt going to put me or the baby in danger she will fight my corner. Very positive, in fact when I said I wanted a home birth the midwife started cheering which I hadnt expected given the circumstances.

Maternity bras I think as long as it fits and is comfy then great, you will hear that you cant wear underwire but its more important that it fits, I am relatively small norked so I am enjoying my 34cs.

Cardi like clueless I think they can be any kind as long as they are comfy. I went to John Lewis for a fitting and they won't sell underwired bras to pg women, even when I said my midwife said it was OK.

I've read Marie Mongan's Hypnobirthing book too and think I will use some of the ideas, especially relaxed breathing and visualisations. The only thing that got on my (new larger) tits a bit was the fact that she claims there is literally no pain involved in birth at all & no one would feel any pain if they felt no fear. Might be true for some but I think it places unrealistic expectations on the whole experience - seems like Mongan thinks there are some 'good' women with 'good' attitudes who give birth pain-free, and then everyone else who just isn't strong enough mentally - can't be that simple, surely? But maybe I'm misrepresenting her.

Hope the CVS was OK landb.

Happy bank holiday everyone!

Pidgin heavens, both John Lewis and Mongan vv annoying there!

(Off camping, have good weekend everyone!)

Excellent title for this thread, first time I have seen it!

Hmmmsleep and dairymum I am also planning on heading to hospital when the time comes.

Has anyone else developed the world's most itchy rash? Started about a week ago on arms, stomach and thighs. Lots of little red bumps and immense amount of itchiness! Was treating it with calamine lotion, but didn't touch it, so have been to drs today and he has given me a mild steroid cream and sent me for a blood test on Tuesday in case it is linked to my liver It looks horrid - I appear to be rubbish at being pregnant, and trying so hard to do everything right for the bump. As long as everything is fine in there though, I don't care what I go through! Heard the heart on Monday at 16 week app, so that was lovely.

ok, so different gender test says 73% boy. better not tell dp, dont want to get his hopes up too much

Gaga - sorry to hear about your rash, but glad you're getting a bloodtest. I'm sure steroids will sort it out. That stuff is magic!

Pidgin - I'd raise more than an eyebrow if I were you. If only the fear causes the pain, then that means I must be terrified of my periods too. Your muscles are contracting and everything is stretching - of course it bloody hurts! (Ire not aimed at you, obviously). No wonder so many women feel they've 'failed' if they have intervention. Just get it out and let me cuddle it, I say.

TFI the weekend.

Afternoon all - woo hoo 16 weeks today. Officially informed my work (especially as it was pretty bleedin' obvious what with sticky out bump. All very nice with loads of congratulations.

Looking forward to bank holiday weekend, only downside is that dp is working through it, so I need to keep a 3 & % year old entertained by myself. Looks like Paultons Park will be getting a visit!

Pidgin, I agree there is most certainly pain involved, but you can dissociate yourself from it, I managed this with dd2, but failed miserably with ds because the contractions were coming hard and fast and I couldnt catch my breath to take charge.

pidgin no fear no pain, huh??? LOL. WHo IS this woman??If that was true, DS2 would have been a breeze as I was not remotely scared of labour - having had an epidural with DS1 I had noooooooo idea that actually giving birth could hurt ( disclaimer - of course I knew it would hurt but not how much!!).

gaga hope your rash improves. SOunds very uncomfortable

landb hope the cvs and result go well. And simililarly telling the ILs. Your MIL sounds charming and definately put your feet up for at least 36 hours after the test. I think the official advice is 24, but hey stretch it out as long as you can.

b00kw0rm welcome home from your exotic travels

cardi mmmmmmmm reblochon. Love that cheese. Especially on tartiflette. S'ok if its cooked I guess. Have no idea if its pasteurised or not though.

A stinking cold has bestowed itself on me now.Thank god I can still slather myself in vicks though, much to DHs disgust!

Hello all - DD aged 23 months decided to start wheezing and hacking at 2 am (mild croup) so not much sleep for anyone, part of reason I haven't made it here all day!

So hands up here for another household where the Daddy had to take PFB to Dr all by hisself for the first time ever. He got Dr Slightly Grumpy as she had a cancellation, but got off lightly as she didn't tell him off when DD ran away from the ear probe!

So I went to the hospital all on my lonesome, and apart from a bit of a damp eye and quivering lip (nice nurse handed me a box of tissues) and quite a bit of discomfort and anxiety, all was fine. Nasal bone and brain-shape all seem fine. If the results are normal then apparently the high HCGb readings could indicate something wrong with the placenta, but just have to hurry up and wait and avoid googling!

All news to me as my preggers with DD was completely smooth except the 7 months of MS and OP-deflexed birth! (Retrospectively glad that I was feeling grateful rather than smug)

Sorry for doing a me me me post. DP has been looking after DD but also chattering at me and now it's pumpkin time! Hope to catch up more tomorrow and properly read what everyone's been doing when I'm alert enough to retain it - goodnight again to flumps!

honeymoo to be fair to my DH he did say if I really wanted to go on the course he'd do it. But it costs over $600 and the breathing and relaxation techniques are identical to what we've both done for years at yoga. There was some other strange stuff in there that we'd probably both laugh through and get kicked off the course for upsetting the other couples anyway

pidgin my hypnobirthing book just talks about fear intensifying pain, rather than birth being pain free. However, in the birth stories section at the end there's a letter of apology from one woman who ended up with an epidural, basically saying that she let the fear get to her because she didn't listen hard enough on the course

llandb glad the CVS wasn't too bad. When do you get the results?

Sorry to be off the radar, didn't mean to ignore doula questions.

I had a birth/post-natal doula and would really recommend both types of service. We weren't sure that we wanted her for the birth at first (DH wondered "what will she DO?") but she said that if she was free and I called her when I went into labour, that she would come. That's exactly what we did!

She came to the house about 5pm (contractions started at 5am) by which point I was having serious pains about every 10 minutes or less. She gave DH directions (take dogs for walk, eat dinner, etc) and helped me get through contractions. I had a Tens, but was having increasingly small amount of relief between contractions, so really struggled with recovery.

About 8pm we called hospital (she told me what to say!) and we went in. She sat in back of car with me (I was on all fours facing boot) and went into hospital with me while DH parked. Took us ages to get to Labour Ward! But by the time we got there, DH was there and they got us straight to a room.

Her most valuable role was support. She didn't "do" anything in particular, and certainly wasn't in the way. But I would look to her for support when asking questions of M/W or Dr and knew that she was there should I need her to back me up. She only offered opinions if asked. She held my hand and did a little hypno with me as well.

I think DH found her even more helpful than I did at times, b/c there were stages where they both had to leave the room while various things happened, and I think DH would have panicked without her to reassure him.

When things went wrong (placental abruption) and we went into theatre, I was really glad she was there (although she wasn't in theatre). I think DH was seriously worried and she reassured him again that this was the only course of action.

Even though I didn't have the natural birth I had intended, the doula was almost more useful in the kind of experience I did have. Or at least that's how I felt. I never panicked or felt out of control, despite the dramatic events. I put a lot of this down to her presence.

Post-natally, she was AMAZING. She brought freshly-baked bread every morning, cooked us fantastic meals (lunch and dinner) made sure I ate, did every scrap of laundry, made sure I slept and again gave DH stuff to do. I can't recommend this enough - I have no family in the country, so I knew I'd need help. After a CS, too, you need so much more looking after. And her kind of non-judgemental, neutral help was so valuable.

OK, sorry for the novel, but I could seriously go on and on about her. Get thee to a doula!