The PESH Deli for updiffed BESHes who love prunes and smell of wee wees

[rollerbaby]

BESH BABYWIN STATS

This isn't a fucking list - right?

BESH BAYBEES
dontrythisathome, Bay Amaryllis born March 25.
Cheggers, twinz girlz, born April 12

UPDIFFED
FannyPriceless, her pelvis went menkul, due June 14
CUNextTuesday, takes no shit from the Daily Mail, due June 28
IggyPiggy, The one who loves BUMSEX, due July 20
CurlyCasper, hospital botherer due July 21 (girl)
Skihorse, cradle snatching web geek, due July 22 (boy)
Carrots, organic hippy hunter, due July 25 (boy)
Cosmosis, the one that likes a good ride, due August 22
backinthebox, she bought a racehorse, due September 6
skatergrrrl, the one that overtook the rest, September ??
VAG, lives in De Nile, due 19 September
Honeymoo, no it's not fucking indigestion, due November 2
silversky, the biggest farter, due 21 October (first baybee)
okiecokie, self-confessed control freak, due November 6
SomethingSuitablyWitty, benelux babe, due November
ReginaMonologue, must-get-the-goss-from-ski, due November 20

"Seems like everyone has passed the 'blooming' stage now, although I don't know when that phase is supposed to be - I only ever have bloomin' 'orrible phase"...

Nope, I am definitely blooming.

Thanks for the doughnuts laurie!

Ive planted loads of salad, herbs, toms, chillis and peppers, organiccarrots.

cunty - It could be worse... celeriac, butternut squash, or (gasp) giant Halloween-style pumpkin.

skater

Actually laurie that's really funny

skater Good on you We can both let our organic carrots rot in the soil later this year as we desperately try to survive being the parents of newborns!!!

good luck with that smugitude sk8tr

hello again everyone. Well I had a really fantastic weekend in England, the PESH meet was fantastic - I was able to bore the pants off fellow differs for hours. Being PESH girls they are of course intelligent, hilarious, kind, sweet and one in particular is disturbingly glamorous... Thank you both of you for a wonderful afternoon - although you did scare jailbait because when he came in to collect me you were both talking about poo. He doesn't understand how or why he should have to have known about the pooing habits of a couple of strangers - he is however repeating (hourly) TGF's mantra of "it's like watching your favourite pub burn down". Saturday night we found a pub by the river and I stayed up until HALF PAST TEN! Which meant I got a few hours sleep until Fife's answer to Rod Stewart started up with the "if ye think ah'm shexshay..." and propositioning ANY poor girl walking past our rooms for sex...

Sunday morning we went a bit bonkers buying Julian clothes. Parents arrived - I've not seen them for 2 years - mum's voice kept going so high only dogs could hear it and the last thing I was able to hear her say before she left on Monday was "look after her" (to jailbait) as she stepped back in to the car to cry... They flashed the plastic and Julian has enough clothes to last until he's 18 months. The bags and bags and Moses basket full of baby clothes caused much tittering amongst the customs staff.

Back in to normal preggo land today and woke at 4am on the ferry to puke - tiny bit of wee came out. Burst in to tears, puked a bit more - realised that due to cabin design toilet was in fact in the shower so let free with the wee... cried a bit more, had a shower whilst crying then made jailbait balance on the edge of the bunk and cuddle me until I fell back asleep.

A fab, fab weekend all in all. I love Newcastle and want to live there forevah!

Aww ski I'm disturbingly glamorous? Aww that's so SWEET! [evil giggle emoticon, now tell me it WASN'T me you meant - although I agree, she is, isn't she ]

Aktulee I wasn't talking about poo. It was definately you two .

So sorry about the puking AGAIN Your mum said 7 months, right? So it should be stopping now, right? And you already were aware of that, right? Sorry.

I am so glad you had a fun time. I really, really enjoyed it and it was amazing meeting you both.

PS We failed to get a reaction from the bar staff despite eating: goat's cheese, vodka pizza and drinking cocktails. Tres disappointing - I was expecting a lecture at the very least.

You too are of course very glamorous - but it's like being raised in St. Tropez and then having your 21st birthday party in Monte Carlo and realising that you still don't cut it! I did think you and her were about to get chatted up though - but the talk of nipple leakage might have been what piqued their attention... I really had such a lovely afternoon and meeting the both of you with whom I've nattered with for months now was amazing. I've not laughed so much in ages and it was so fun to be able to talk about all the taboo "my body's doing WHAT?" stuff! Next time there's a meet I think there will probably be babies involved...

ski Welcome back. Glad you had a lovely time. So the meeting with the parentals passed without too much physical violence or emotional abuse then?

Btw, I just knew she was glam. Bet she's really skinny too.

fanny The perfect blonde bob was a bit unfair I thought - given the fact I'd forgotten to pack a hairbrush and had come off the ferry with nothing to brush my hair with. Harsh! The parents were... well... pretty much on best behaviour - you know, they asked what jailbait does for a living, how we met, etc., etc. Talked marriage but didn't actually say anything too ghastly. Apparently my sister has dropped out of her latest career and I was unable to resist making a dig - so was kicked under the table. There was a little hypocrisy - you know, along the lines of "of course you never tell your children waht to do - you just want them to be happy". History has changed it would appear. She also recommended mumsnet to me - so perhaps a name change is in order. I'm really sorry you couldn't be there fanny but of course we do really all understand why and it's completely the wrong city for a wheelchair - in fact it wasn't much fun for me with my hotel on the waterfront and walking up to the shops...

Btw - I've read everyone's posts and I'm so glad that the majority are doing well - but am obviously rather worried about curly - and I Hope honey's not murdered the dog. Mine are in kennels for another week - it's my holiday before hell is unleashed...

Rots just been catching up on the other place - how did you not know it was meeee!? Ski got all upset I was being too obvious .

God, I hate work atm. I wouldn't mind, but even my manager doesn't seem to know what they want me to do. So I just sit here iwth brainache trying to come up with ways that noone will realise I am not doing anything - becuase I don't know what to do! I can really only do one thing.... Having said that - I can't think of many better times in my career to have been grounded. Volcano-or-strike, volcano-or-strike. Hmm. Anyway - what with my parttiming and days leave I have, I only have to do 21 whole days work between now and popping. Count 'em .

who's she, the cat's mother

am all embarrassed now, I'm not glam, I'm just skinny and pointy.

Arses i thought FP was previously P. Who is boxy?

Sounds like the Besh meet-up was a blast! And Ski, I am so glad that it went well with your parents. They sound like they are well and truly on board now. The tales of puking on board ship are terrible - you are a brave, um, sailor...

Cos how are you managing to be glam and skinny and pointy at this stage? At 14 weeks any skinny or pointy bits I had are starting to be just a happy memory... Bet it's all that cycling. Bet you are glam.

carrots I am in awe at your amazing garden and gardening skills. Wish I had a garden. Wish I had a chance in hell of finding a new place with one. Or even just a new place, before Babyje arrives. .

Sorry got a bit side-tracked there. Thing is, we have been house / apt visiting again and no go. The apt we saw this pm was in some ways very nice, but very oddly laid out indeed - something that was not clear from the photos and the family are leaving because they want a garden for their little girl (about 3 I would guess).... Discouraging? Yes it was. I just feel we are never going to find somewhere. I would love to have a bit of room for baby and visitors after the birth (parents etc...) - would make such a difference. Current place is just about viable but at a pinch and moving after will be very hard. Even just visiting places etc. with a baby....

Anyway

boxy can't believe the 21 days left to work. That sounds fab...

Anyone for some delicious tapenade on toast? No? all for moi then...

Everyone go and have a look at the other place . You are all so confused!

silver not sure I can say without giving her away, obviously, but are you on t'other place?

box I know so sorry. It also took me AGES (and I fessed this to her today) to get the literary link of "Fanny Priceless". Especially as it's one of my favourite books . And no, it's not that I'm into all the "proper" books. I just happen to like that one.

cos who are you kidding? You actually wore MAKEUP. I mean, you're pregnant and still making an effort to look good (and even worse, succeeding ). The only thing that makes me feel better is the knowledge that you, too, will be leaving the house in a few short months with sick down your back .

ski you also are gorgeous and you made me laugh - a LOT which I knew you would. And your hair was fine - stop fussing - and a really lovely colour that I'd not seen on FB. Please apologise to JB for laughing but it WAS the smallest hairbrush IN the world that he bought for you. Isn't he just the sweetest? He has an adorable blush.

More smugness tonight. I have:

• Weeded the herb garden
• Cleaned the kitchen
• Prepared and am cooking dinner
• Done a wash and possibly I may even iron tonight

I am a little concerned that it's "nesting" and a little concerned that I need to get through the next 2 weeks without giving birth but otherwise hopefully I'm just "blooming".

cassie also worried about you. My current worst symptom is acid reflux where everytime I burp (which is a lot) I get a burnt throat and it's horrible (I'm so sexxxxyyyyy). And clearly this is about a -1 on the 1-100 scale of horridness compared to what you're going through.

What, with you and fanny, pregnancy isn't all its cracked up to be quite often, huh.

Nipple twists all round.

witty I didn't know you were house hunting. Buy mine! Buy mine!

Where are you looking? What region? Have you sold yours then?

silver is not on the other place, every time we mention facebook she logs off for a week and pretends she doesn't hear us. Much like fanny!

Just in case anyone is getting the wrong impression, Cossie is not some mad bag of bones. It's just she's a Wetherby's thoroughbred and the rest of us are three-legged pit ponies! And she is glam in the sense that I did not i) see her clutch her belly or ii) walk like duck! carrots is very funny and was able to give us so much advice on behalf of having done it all before - questions which I think I wouldn't dare to ask so many people. I hope this meet will ensure some new BESHes get diffed. n.b., rots went off in a mad Jon Venables inspired rant which (almost) left Cossie open-mouthed, but resulted in I think the funniest quip of the day: "but that's why hormonal women don't make up the judicial system!".

Plants you say? Looks like my basil is nearly dead - it has been alive for over 2 weeks though so a good run for me.

Oh, if we're doing vile and embarrassing new symptoms, cassie and I had before spoken about this downy fur appearing on our tummies - I fear this is spreading across my boobs. I do not wish to have to Immac my boobs!

Oops, yes, sorry cos and ski, you are right, I did . Does happen. Not that I'm opinionated, at all. But always happy to hear someone else's point of view (and then argue why it's wrong, ).

Anyway I do maintain that you WILL know what I mean when you have your own little one!!!

Not sure about the Wethereby's thoroughbred analogy, Ski. I just bought one of those, and it needs a bit of work doing on it to make it look less like a semi-skinned toast rack and a bit more like a horse. And that's before we mention the state it's brain is in! Still, he likes a cuddle, so he can't be all bad!

Rots you are not allowed to have done so much. I have;

Washed piss-stained pants.
Given hay to horses.
Taken DD to CM.
Tried to rally my fellow workers into giving me answers to the questions my boss has set me (they went all quiet on me. )
Picked DD up. With her new bag of piss-stained pants.
Done Tesco shop, which resulted in me buying lots of Aussie shampoo on special offer but not much food
Given hay to horses.
Washed piss-stained pants.

Phew!

Ski son't worry - the belly hair will drop out in clumps later, like a moulting horse.

Everyone seems to be being all gooey with each other all of a sudden. What happened to the gin and slapping?

carrots No criticism from this end - I already feel more protective of this little boy than I ever imagined possible! In fact I've returned to the big, bad world of the internet today to read that some prick has called Julian an "ugly cunt"! Now, I'm not without a sense of humour a little close to the bone (or right through it ) - but that is too far - even for me. He's not ugly, he's booful! As is your little chap too btw - these 4D scans are just amazing.

On saturday I had 2 raspberry mojitos. On sunday I had a Pink Collins (?) and an ordinary mojito. Enough booze for yer?

OOOOOH I wanna raspberry mojito! YUM.

Ski I'm so with you on the basil. I'm good at keeping pots of stuff alive in summer, but I aspire to real gardening in flower beds like.

Can I join in the daily activity competition??? Yesterday my morning went like this:

3am wake up to first bark of day
3.01am create a head sandwich with pillows and earplugs and go back to sleep
5am debate with Mr Moo whether we get up
6.30am get up to dog in crate covered in poo
7am clean up poo in back garden in dressing gown and hose down crate
715 wash pooey bedding
8am tell work I am working from home today mainly due to lack of sleep
10am call out dynarod as loo blocked and no amount of hangers/loo brush shoving will fix it
12pm pay £100 for a 3 minute job and make man a cup of tea
1230pm clean disgusting toilet

Traumatic poo-fest.

Babies surely easier????

silver You are right, in a way. FP did used to be P. But two Ps namechanged around the same time. I guess you were thinking of the other one. FP has a menkul pelvis and used to be a little horse. Boxy has a racehorse. Got it?

I have the downy-haired belly. I had it last pg too. I can confirm it went away afterwards. Although unlike boxy I didn't notice any clumpy moulting.

honey My goodness that's expensive - £100 for a 3 minute job? But I suppose that's one of your high-class home visit 3 minute jobs. Would be cheaper on the street, I guess?