Had DS last week. Not a fun exp. Couple of odd moments while high on G&A:

1. Woke up in the middle of a contraction and asked DH where the contractions were.

2. Woke up in the middle of another one to ask who had won the Miss World competition and how far it was to Manchester (we live in the South West and I never watch beauty pageants).

DS was eventually extracted via emergency CS and I finally regained some lucidity just before the procedure. Spinal block went in (heavenly after 48 hours of spurious and not so spurious labour) providing immediate pain relief. Various random momemnts in theatre:

1. The anaesthetist was quite chatty and pleasant. Halfway through I began thinking "oh this is nice. I wonder if I could have a cup of tea". Fortunately I was lucid enough not to ask.

2. The doctor stitching me up afterwards leaning over and saying "I'm so jealous, you've got less than 1cm of tummy fat". I was like .

my ex dh was asked by the midwife to help by mopping my brow, i wondered what was going on and realised he had stuck a sanitary towel on my head

This gas and air stuff sounds ace - I want that next time!

Having to get out of the birthing pool at 7cm dilated to go to the bathroom because I could not pee in the water (and yet...)

Making DP take a photo of the placenta (Midwife: 'wouldn't you rather have a photo of ds's first bath?)

congratulations pasturesnew on new dd

high on g&a asked where the wibble wobble house is and screaming at my mum you dont understant this hurts get it out she had 4 kids of her own so i think she did understand

High on G & A, urging DP to have some, and then telling him "You have to park the car beside the door, cos we have to make a quick getaway!"....

We don't own a car...

While high on G&A telling my DH that "I've never gone to Ibiza" he calmly replied that he didn't think I'd missed very much

I would like to apologise to any other expectant mothers in St. Thomas' in London yesterday morning - although I was yelling at the top of my voice, "HELP! HELP! and CATCH IT!" whilst giving birth to DD, there was in fact a fully qualified midwife in the room throughout - sorry if I may have given the impression it was otherwise!

bump

I was too scared to have gas and air at first because everyone told me it was like being stoned. I had never got on with weed and had always pulled a massive whitey, therefore the thought of being in labour and pulling a whitey really didn't appeal. So, I made my dh try it first when the midwife wasn't looking. He took one big one (he used to be a big stoner) and said 'honestly babe, you'll love it). So I did and I loved it and he loved it, so for the next god knows how many hours we both got through a lot of gas! Both as high as kites.

A few hours later, the gas although still lovely wasn't quite cutting it so in came the anesthetist to start the epidural. He was quite possibly the fittest guy I'd ever seen and proceeded to tell everyone in the room (including him) that. Insisted my Dh to me to the toliet for a wee and to gather myself together (like I was getting ready for some liason with the anesthetist). sat on the loo gushing about him and instructing my dh to hold my gown together at the back to preserve my dignity (yeh right, there was a slug trail all the way to the loo!). Loved the spray so much on my back I just kept saying 'again, again, again".

All very embarrassing and the dh has had to fill me in on most of it.

The bit I didn't laugh at: I was pushing lying down on a bed for 2 hours. About 30 mins in dh said to me and midwife could he sit down because his legs were killing.

I had a student midwife who I am sure was on her first ever birth (my 3rd dc) so when i said i thought i needed to push and she answered by saying it wasnt possible i told her in no uncertain terms to "get the real f*cking midwife in here!" - my DH was mortified..........
but he was even more mortified when just 5 minutes later i told him that i wasn't giving birth today, i wanted to go home and would come back tomorrow to have the baby....... dc was born about 10 minutes later...... with the "real" midwife present
that transition is a bugger!!!