Welcome, lilsteel.
Congratulations on your daughter, jennimoo.
tiredfeet, sheesh, that sounds VILE. I am stunned they all get away with it. So so sorry it was so bad for you, but really glad your periods came back and you conceived quite quickly. This baby is more important than that stupid job.
Thanks everyone for your support and good wishes. I know I haven't really gone into the details of what my issues are at work, and I don't want to give too much away in case I could get in trouble for doing so, but in a nutshell, I've been doing my job for nine years, and had no complaints at all. I also haven't had a sick day in all that time, which I think helps illustrate my work ethic, and how serious things are for me now that I am signed off by my GP.
The week before I go on honeymoon (having made no secret of the fact that DH and I would be trying for a family on honeymoon) my manager informs me one of my colleagues is now in charge of me and my projects. I've only reported directly to him, and have managed my projects for the last nine years by myself - so this was pretty much a slap in the face and a demotion (though my pay remains the same, at least). I objected, but he says he can manage the department how he likes. He also said he needs to justify her salary! (Though he denies this now, of course!) The girl he's put in charge of me hasn't got a clue, but has gleefully rubbed my nose in the fact that she is now my line-manager, belittles me, patronises me, etc etc, and I am micro-managed to within an inch of my sanity. A very unfair situation, a humiliation, and very stressful, but they wouldn't change anything, and she continued to patronise me. There is clear and definite favouritism of her over me (and some politics and personal relationships involved), but of course, he refutes that, and I can't prove it. After four months of this, I went to my GP and got signed off with work-related stress.
Anyway, today's meeting, the manager, my union rep and the head of Personnel were there. Manager stuck to his guns, refuses to acknowledge what an obvious humiliation this is for me, and won't budge, but does let on that this micromanager has accepted she's handled things badly and would like to make things work. Well, that's something, but why did it take four months (well, five if you include the fact that I've been off for the last month) for her to admit that, and why did he do nothing about it sooner. I have zero faith that things will be better, as she's made it clear how she likes playing the boss of me, and the damage is done. She can say the right things to make it seem like she is sorry, but I know she is just embarrassed that the first person she's put in charge of, she's caused to go off on work-related stress. And she still hasn't the experience or expertise to understand the job I do or the projects I run, so it's very dodgy why she got this managerial position, when I've been doing the job for nine years, and doing the job well. The manager tells me the job is developing, and my point is, well what about MY career progression then - why are the opportunities given to the person who deals with A, B and C, when I deal with D, E and F, and the new projects are clearly under the D, E and F sphere? This is clear to everyone, but the manager just says it's not like that.
The Personnel officer was really nice, and told me she'd like me back at work, but that my health was far more important and she could clearly see what this was doing to me, and she more or less suggested I get some more time off with the GP, and come back in 10 days for another meeting with the same people as today, plus the micromanager, and if I still felt things were awful, it would be a better time to consider making a formal complaint and going down the grievance procedure route then. Phew. I'll cross that bridge then - for now, I have ten days off, and that is good.
Please don't quote this in replies - I might get MNHQ to delete this post sometime, just in case.
Sorry that was so long!