The PESH deli - where the goal is to get a nice holiday/back in the saddle

[skihorse]

I haz made new fred.

[CUNextTuesday]

ski tried bog-roll doppler last night when Rastus was awake to no effect so epic fail (btw all unborn babies in our family are called Rastus, as I think I may have mentioned)

I think I may be carrying most of this baby in my existing body cavity - from the outside I look nice and rounded, but spread away the lard and it's only a teeny tiny bump. Looking forward to scan on Wed telling me I'm carrying an Ewok or some such. Although I also find I'm bigger on some days than others, and it doesn't seem to be trump-related.

Walking round v gingerly at the moment, lest SPD kicks in with avengance. Not please, but good excuse to be sat on my arse for most of the day...

[skihorse]

cunty On saturday my Levis would not do up and I had to wear a bumpband so as not to show the world my gut. This morning they did up no problem. My bump definitely changes in size.

I thought you waz on road ooop north today?

[CUNextTuesday]

No buddy, not till 1st March

[skihorse]

cunty I am looking forward to a proper bump and not just a whoateallthepies spread. The bumpband helps but as I said before it varies from day to day anyway.

I am getting pains - can anyone advise? I must be totally honest and say I don't believe the baby is in any trouble at all. But... I'm getting aches below my uterus and last night when out walking the dogs I had to stop and just stand with my feet together because I felt like everything inside my pelvis was just going to "fall out". Am wondering in the cold light of day if this could've been some sort of pelvic shift? Am also wondering if it could be trapped gas but then am pooing daily fankewe.

Where is VAG? Where is Skater? Where is Cosmosis? All these butter dishes all over the floor and no claimants.

[VoilaAnotherGimlet]

Hey ladies, am still lurking though not very frequently so am hideously behind on the gossip and afraid to post in the Palace in case I've missed something huge.

Things are ok here - 10 weeks tomorrow but symptoms have almost totally subsided which, true to form, is making me worry. I'm also going through a period of total ambivalence to the whole process - again not something I can talk about at the Palace. I'm hoping it will pass and am trying to persuade myself it's these crazy hormones. Still not sleeping properly either. I want to eat all the time...but then that is perfectly normal for me [piggy emoticon].

Boo to Cas's aches and pains - poor you, have been following and it sounds right nasty. Hope you are getting lots of rest and that it is helping a bit. Ski sounds like you need a good rest too. And sorry to hear of your dog-incident igs. Hope I haven't missed anything but I probably have, apols if so.

Can someone tell me that time goes a bit faster after 12 weeks? Or is this it for the next 30+? I feel like I am watching paint dry.

(Also I don't think you should diss Margot Leadbetter - she is a heroine of mine. Along with Miss Piggy.)

[skihorse]

VAG You haven't missed anything - everyone's pregnancy is continuing along the same spectrum of misery/moaning, but all in the best possible healthy sense!

Several have had back their test results promising healthy babies. Ponymum has sexed hers up but won't divulge.

Time is flying by now vag, it seemed to take forever to get to 12 weeks and now I'm just a fortnight off of halfway, am sporting a little bump, jailbait can hear the heartbeat using my DIY doppler (toilet roll holder pushed in to pubes).

Margot L is wonderful - can't disagree with you there! She always wanted a go on Tom... the dirty minx!

Please don't be afraid to share your ambivalence, if we can't discuss all these feelings with each other then where else will we go? I've shared this morning my fears over ante-natel dpression with carrots. It's been so refreshing for me to be able to discuss my daft fears and worries with all the PESHes. You can't go phoning the midwife for every single thing and it seems there's a total taboo out there in the real world to utter anything but joy about the whole process.

A friend had her little boy by c-section yesterday and her husband has posted photos. I burst in to tears because in a few months I'm going to be holding a baby and I haven't a clue what to do.

[CUNextTuesday]

VAG ambivalence sounds a familiar concept - it hasn't left me at 21 weeks yet. I'll let you into a secret if you promise not to say anything to Palace peeps - there have been times ,earlier on, when I thought 'ah well, if something's wrong and it all goes to hell in a bucket, not to worry I can live my nice comfortable carefree existence and I won't mind so much, and I don't think I'll try again cos there's so much else I could be doing than waking at 3 hr intervals in the night and not getting a lie in, wiping up pooh and sick continuously and generally spending the rest of my days at someone else's beck and call.' Does that make you feel any better?!

And since you ask, when you count off the weeks they go really slowly, but when you look back the time has flown. I was almost completely symptom-free too until about 4 days ago - intolerant of morning mouth that's all, but I think it was revulsion at my teeth having bled and gummed up my mouth all night, not actual MS. You're awaiting your scan, it's BOUND to go slowly. Fret not.

Ski - sounds similar to what I have. I find the test for pelvic mither is to stand on one foot. I get discomfort putting trousers and socks on in the morning and sometimes it's achey in my undercarriage during the day and when walking. I'm desperately hoping it's stretchy ligament softening and low-lying baby stuff causing discomfort and not the onset of SPD, which would make me Very Cross Indeed.

[CUNextTuesday]

stand on one leg I mean. Standing on your own foot won't tell you jack shit.

[skihorse]

I can put my hand up to thinking "what have I done? My life was just fine, I have a lovely horse, I want to ski, travel, lie-in on weekends, go to Copenhagen and drink vodka."

[CurlyCasper]

morning PESHlets!

well, I have enjoyed a lovely lie-in today and feel much improved if not back on top of the world. Thanks for your kind words vag and please do share with us - that's what we are here for.

After the 12-week scan things have gone much quicker for me, though I have a feeling the next two weeks might drag, waiting for the next scans (anomaly and sexing).

PainsIhavelabelledthus:
lower back, over top of hips, through hips, down through fanjo, under buttocks, down thighs = SPD, and is made worse by anything that stretches hips, inc standing on one leg, sitting with legs bent to sides, lying with legs in a froggie position...

sharp, intense, to one side of belly when I make sudden movements/cough/sneeze = round ligament pain from stretching

evil, nauseating, period-cramp like ache across front of belly, only when I sit on loo or just afterward = constipation (sometimes forces me to try peeing standing up ).

Anything not belly/pelvis related = RA

Anything else? God knows - the above is enough to worry about AFAIC.

Right now I feel too relaxed about this whole baby thing, that I think I am in for a sudden attack of THE FEAR in future, probably after it's born. I see things that should worry me and don't react. I am numb and heartless. I was looking for pictures of how big my baby should be now last night, and accidentally came across some of aborted babies. They were horrible, but I felt more intrigue about their shape and form than anything else. weirdo PLease don't judge me - I'm sure I will have a meltdown in weeks to come.

[CUNextTuesday]

The pain that concerns me, i.e. the one from the last couple of days, is like a burning/shooting pain (not excrutiating by any means, but noticeable) in the left hand side of my pubic bone - worse when weight bearing and bringing my foot down on walking. Sometimes there, sometimes not, sometimes eases off after a bit of walking.

It's the degenerative nature of it that concerns me - it's not bad now, but it will prob get worse, and it's how much worse that is starting to alarm me

[RunLyraRun]

Hello PESHerinas, I'm lurking again. I like to see what might lie ahead of me. I wonder if other BESHes do too, but are shy to admit?!

I'm coming out of the shadows to pass onto VAG my friend's recent experience. She had terrible antenatal depression, hormaonal menkulness, the FEAR, thought she had made the biggest mistake of her life, nearly broke up with her partner because of the stress - all of this right up until she gave birth. However, she has taken to motherhood like a duck to water, she is wonderful with her daughter and utterly in love with her. There was no connection whatsoever between her feelings before the birth, and after - she's like a different person now. So I don't think how you feel now, scary and unsettling though it may be, is any sort of predictor of how you will feel when the baby arrives.

Despite having been SWI for 6 months now, I still don't believe I will actually get pregnant, and I know I would be overwhelmed and really, really scared if I did get updiffed. It's a massive life change, I think you would be a bit simple NOT to have mixed feelings about it! Especially when it's your first (so you're stepping into the unknown), and especially when you're in your 30s and have your life the way you like it.

I would hope the other BESHes would understand that too, although I do understand your reluctance to post in the balance when you "have what they want", as it were.

[RunLyraRun]

balance? Palace, innit

[CUNextTuesday]

Lyra I was convinced that fate would not allow it to happen because... well because I wasn't really signed up to it, if you get me. Hence 2 x mc's, after which it was a battle of wills between me and the fates as to who would Be Victorious.

Not one of the better reasons for getting pregnant, but woteva innit. I'm a firm believer in fate and destiny. It must be the right thing.

[Cosmosis]

Morning lushes. I had my nuchal fold scan today and bloods done. nuchal fold was 1.6 - normal. Could see a nose bone, also v good sign. Will get bloods back Thurs, but she thinks risk looks low.

Also baby is now 77mm, from 56mm last monday! clever baby!

[CUNextTuesday]

Have what the palace wants and are moaning about it too . Not personally sure my ambivalence as described above would go down well with those who are having a long wait, so wouldn't dream of writing any of the above in the Palace.

[RunLyraRun]

Exactly cuntchops. Often I think I'm only disappointed when the droid arrives because I like having my own way/being in control, and if I've decided I'm going to get pregnant then I should bloody well GET PREGNANT. Not a great reason...another one being that I don't want to miss out on something fab. Again not exactly a positive one...

[RunLyraRun]

Eeek I am a traitor to my own kind!

[CUNextTuesday]

I get you Lyrical I soooooo get you

[RunLyraRun]

Cosmo that is half a ruler long! Great results too.

[skihorse]

Cossie Great news! Well done BOC!

I have had a lovely day, took the dogs out for a walk this morning and we were walking past the deer when I heard a little boy say (to the deer) "do you want an orange?". I whipped around and asked the woman if she were English to which I got a positive. Three lovely children, a dog and living locally since August - her husband is with NATO. Despite neither of us having pen/paper/phones she managed to find me on facebook and we'll be meeting up soon. Really, really lovely - so many expats are arseholes... which brings me to my next expat run-in of the day. Dropped jailbait off at the gym and I did the supermarket. There was a huge, big swanky range rover in the carpark with English plates. I was thinking "please don't let it be the nice lady from the park because she'll think I'm stalking her" and I kept my eyes peeled. Just as I was pulling out of the carpark two of John Terry/Tiger Wood's type girlfriends came tottering out. Footballers wives I kid you not, one even had a shocking pink tight tracksuit on , furry topped boots, bleach hair, orange tan, fake tits, nails, massive amounts of black eye make-up - you know the type! They trip-trapped up to the disco. I cannot begin to tell you what they might be doing in this particularl town, there is nothing here bar NATO and these gals were far, far from your typical army wife.

I love people watching I do.

[skihorse]

(Yes, I haz judged them on their looks.)

[SkaterGrrrrl]

Hey dudes,

Great news about the nuchal scan, cosmosis!



For all you people watchers and eavesdroppers I recommend this site: www.overheardinnewyork.com/

Also, I have a cold and a cough and I WANT DRUGS! Lemsip, how could I have taken you so for granted all these years?

[RunLyraRun]

Skater, hee hee hee, love it! The one about "cock child", grooossss.

[Ponymum]

skatergrrrl Please try patented Ponymum homemade 'lemsip' guaranteed safe in pregnancy:
-Crush up two panadol caplets in a mug
-Add a spoon of honey and a good squeeze of lemon juice
-Top with boiled water and stir
You will feel better, promise.

Totally understand and relate to fear / ambivalence. When I was in the worst part of MS I actually wished I could be free of it, and it dawned on me what a nice easy life I would then have, and I really wouldn't have minded. After all I am now Offically Too Old to try again if this one doesn't work out so that would be that, no question. But now MS is over and I have made it to several weeks past half way so I am now saying don't you dare go wrong now - you've made me go through this so far so I better end up with a baby from it. Not that I want the sleepless stage, I am just convinced that two children is easier than one child in the long term.

After MS finished I do remember thinking, I NEVER have to go through MS again ever. I was so happy. I hate being pg, and agree it goes on forever. But of course we're supposed to be thrilled and blooming while we serenely knit booties or something. Some of us just aren't made for this. My sister says "Oh I love being pregnant." So obviously opposite to me. (But we are both awesome mothers so hating this part is no reason to worry.)

Sorry for the raving. Nice to vent.