The PESH deli - where the goal is to get a nice holiday/back in the saddle

[skihorse]

I haz made new fred.

I think there were good scientific reasons for a lot of religious laws... like the circumcision date. Same with not mixing milk and meat - I've read this is because people living in desert-like conditions stored food in clay pots, and if milk and meat were in the same pots, harmful bacteria would be created in the heat.

Maybe in the past (in all cultures), good health practice was dressed up in religious terms to make uneducated people follow the rules? In African villages, the holy man would designate which part of the river the gods wanted you to drink from; and which part of the river to use as a loo. You can be damn sure that the gods want you to drink from the water upstream from the loos.

carrots You're right of course, and a whole lot of the "kosher" cooking rules are really just basic hygiene as we know it today - of course it would've been harder living in the desert without a fridge or access to Tesco...

Oh christ yes, real life friend told me I was insane. She was a 17 stone, insanely unfit woman with underlying health problems AND that "thing" (whose name I forget) which can be passed to the baby - strep? She also never breastfed any of her 3 because it was "freaky". I filed her advice under "fuck off".

Jailbait won't let me have the boy circumcised despite a myriad of helpful mole-in-a-hole and I'll try and get a 2-for-1 offer for him and his dad...

Oh yes, also on the meat thing, my aunt lives in S. Africa and she never eats pork in summer. It's very much a winter only food, like an unspoken rule in her house. I think this is because of fears of tapeworm.

I'd LOVE a tapeworm

LOLOL @ 2 4 1! YOB did that on gravestones for his dad and brother - no really, they not only ASKED, they GOT! Well not 2 4 1 but a discount. Bloody Yorkshiremen.

LC isn't c'd although I've had to consider it from time to time because he has had quite a few infections under the foreskin. However, now he's bigger and it's retracting (sorry, TMI) and he knows how to wash it, it seems to be stopping. Personally I hate the idea and as I have no religious incentives either way, so feel I'd rather keep him intact. But I've "known" () men both ways (as it were) and they don't seem to know any different, so .

skater quite. How are you today?

ski PS I'm a RL friend . I mean, I really am real! Honestly!

Or is the whole of MN one great Turing Machine?

Ha, no it can't be, there's too many places where there's clearly a total lack of self-awareness and intelligence [bitchy emoticon].

never "known" one without...

Thanks for the lunchtime tapeworm talk. Went down nicely with the noodles

Re: "known"

I've prob already said this, so apologies if I'm repeating myself.

It reminds me of my dear departed Grandmother.

Morning of my wedding to ex. Gran lived in an annex to my parents' house with a conservatory which went across the front of both. She was in her sitting room which leads onto the conservatory, and I was in the conservatory having make-up done. She was chatting to my aunt and cousin - her daughter and grandson - and we (me and bridesmaid) could hear every word.

Gran, to aunt and cousin, "So this is the last day, then, that Carrot is going to be called . To be honest, I've never liked ".

(cue v embarassed aunt and cousin shushing Gran who was oblivious, bless her)

Me (couldn't help myself, feeling mischievous), "Aww Gran, I actually quite like ".

Gran (flustered, suddenly realises I can hear), "Well Carrot, you know how much I love

carrots How do you know it's retracting? Are you practising Japanese traditions in addition to Maori ones? I understand that jailbait doesn't want it done for religious reasons, however, he himself has had some problems in that area when he's younger. Aesthetically there's no contest for me. No doubt we'll argue about it more. Are you real? No... you're a bot sent out to fuck with my mind and churn my stomach.

hahaha @ "all the men you've had". From what I remember you saying before your tally is very low anyway!

Oh... and my coldsores which disappeared early-jan have re-surfaced on the right side of my mouth last weekend... and a quick feel this lunchtime reveals one coming up on the left corner. I am such a preggo bloomer.

ski cheers me lovely, you do good things for me, too

Er - retracting - coz he pulls it back in the bath (and every other chance he can, being a boy 'n' all).

I plan to get a dictaphone and record me saying, "git yer 'ands outta yer pants" so I can just press play (again).

ski well it's a good job I didn't snog you then.

What do you mean my tally is low??? Whadda you saying? That I'm not a slapper???????????

I have 2 kids by two different blokes, I'll have you know!

Pfff... nowhere near slapperdom - I think cunty and I are scores ahead. I bet curly's been through a few but she's the type who doesn't count them if they:

i) didn't happen in the UK
ii) she wouldn't repeat the experience
iii) doesn't know their name

This whole coldsore biz is getting me down. I've just eaten a pear and realised there is blood streaming out of the side of my mouth. I haz great differ beauty.

I haz had great "I told you so" moment but cannot utter those words because a horse will DIE! Basically I have been slagged and slagged and slagged for having Ginger barefoot by one of the girls at the yard - and another one who is in training to be a farrier. Last night she told me that it has incurable laminitis - odd time of the year to be diagnosed n'est-ce pas? Anyway I feel totally justified in my actions knowing that Ginger will never get laminitis... I've always been at the daft remedial shoes they've put on this horse and been deeply suspicious about the shape of its hooves... but I suppose they were that shape because the coffin bone was on the move. Anyway, she gave me the dutch word for laminitis, I googled it - first thing which popped up? A webpage on natural hoofcare...

Aww poor horse

Yes, too early for grass-induced of course. Poor baby.

at lack of slapper-ness. Must Try Harder . Or not, perhaps, as YOB is adorable and the love of my life (afternoon sickness anyone?)

Please to all go away so I can do some work.

ski I didn't know you did barefoot with Ginge. Next you'll be telling me you like the idea of parelli

Look! Someone is as stupid as me!

JD face

And fyi, ski, I have only slept with 2 men in my whole life.

The other 453 were round behind the bins outside Spar.

Indeed ski I am a reformed slapper. It all happened before the age of 21, so bears no relevance these days.

(actually, know all the names and would, if single, happily repeat the majority. Good times )

Still a complete slaaaaaaaaaag in my dreams though

Anyone want to write my departmental budget for the period that covers my maternity leave? Somehow I can't find the enthusiasm...

cunty

Very relieved to have been left off the list of slappers!

Me too pone

iggs We've obviously fooled them with our sophisticated and demure conversation.

iggy I does haz barefoot horse - you may mock, but next time your fatty steps on your toes, think on! I iz also trained trimmer.

I don't do Parelli but I have used Monty Roberts/Kelly Marks style stuff - basic common sense innit - but my fave of all time is Richard Maxwell who blends hippeh shit with old skool for maximum results. And he's fit etc.

Glad I called cunty & curly right. I wouldn't have thought iggy was a shlag because she was brought up as a laydee. Ponymum would've been a tough one to call as she has not revealed enough of herself although I believe she met her husband when she was in her mid-late 30s and she's horsey - ergo slapper actually.

Cossie = as pure as the driven snow.
VAG = not as many as she would've liked - whilst being involved with "liberal" types - everyone knows actors are gay. Perhaps a sprinkling of "unrequited love" or turning gay after having shagged her once?

Right, it's YOB's birthday next month. Inspiration please on the gift front.