The PESH Deli - The drinks might be virginal, but that's about all...

[CurlyCasper]

Come in, come in to the new haven for diffed BESHies. I think a group effort is needed here (and I'm being a lazy preggo), so please add to the deli whatever you crave/love/can stomach.

Nominations are also open for sexy fathers we can hijack to serve our mouldy cheese and cured ham

And the best mocktail recipe wins...well, bugger all to be honest

Ponymum My advice? Have a small snack an hour before you go so as you don't feel queasy and can gorge yourself silly!

Urgh re: your mum. I expect mine will ask to visit at some point - I shall direct her to a hotel.

Hello! I've been having a preggo day. Sent off my booking form for prenatal yoga, picked up my emma's diary freebie pack from Argos (gutted to get pear rather than apple-tiser ), proceeded to read bits of said pack while sitting in a cafe at table next to mum with a newborn I could not stop staring at, bought some maternity leggings and a couple of top/dresses with Xmas vouchers and... drumroll... finally got measured up for a maternity bra! I was wearing B cups before and am now the proud owner of some 34Ds Not a lot compared to many of you, but a seriously big deal for me! (Just found out friend who recently gave birth has gone from B to G!) What will the next six months bring???

Oh and I bought some vest/body suit type things for bubs too.

Also did a food shop, and now the living room and kitchen, which SFF actually tidied for me finishing work yesterday, are strewn with purchases, my boots etc etc. Oops! Better go tidy and think about dinner for when he comes home.

Thanks Cheggers - I'm peeking in occassionally (although at breaking the thread). I dropped off the TTC threads to see whether not focussing on such things helped - seems to have done the trick!!

Ski I'm gonna go for the pate tonight while DH is working (since I'm weaker while alone) - I only want a tiny taste and such other cravings as I#ve had have disappeared immediately after succumbing so hopefully this will be the same. I'm even willing to bake some if that removes the risk - a couple of baked mushrooms stuffed with pate perhaps.

Out of interst how are you more active folks (thinking of Ski and Cosmosis) faring with activities. I've just chosen the Canaries over skiing for my Feb holiday (which I'm a bit disappointed with myself about but think that is more in line with what I need at the moment) and have not been on the bike other than a quick pootle around a a lake since October. Are you keeping up with such things better than me (sorry if you have discussed this to death)

Aussieng ha! Active. I am drunk/seasick type wobbly combined with out of breath walking to the car. Stairs are out of reach. Skiing had to be cancelled as there seemed little point paying $$ to sit in a hotel room and sob. I've been knocked for six, walking the dogs exhausts me. I rode until the second week of December I think it was but then ms hit me hard and I've been out of action since. It has shocked me to the core truth be told... I thought those who'd suffer like this were going to be the pie-eating, sofa-sitting, Jeremy-Kyle crew, not me. I haven't been to the gym since the end of November.

Cossie has done better than me but she's definitely not at her usual pace.

PS Curly Congratulations on your boobies!

ski Re my mum. Don't worry, part of the arrangement is that she is renting a nearby cottage. I made sure it has a fully equipped kitchen and child friendly garden - the plan being she will come over here each morning and we'll hand her the foal, a swag of dirty washing, and a shopping list. Then she'll return at 6pm with a happy exhausted toddler, a freshly cooked dinner for us, and a pile of clean washing. Well, that's the theory.

On the activity front, I think it hits the previously active people the hardest. If your former lifestyle was lying on the sofa eating jaffa cakes then it's not much change, is it? Last time I went from mucking out stables to being stuck in a wheelchair, so my metabolism went beserk and I put on so much weight you would weep. Trying to stay more active this time but I am only just feeling human again after the MS.

ski great news about the pony. Big weight off I expect.

Had a really nice day. 'Twas mum's birthday so we went to the beach with the dogs in the pouring rain and freezing cold, me, YOB and parents (LC not being here this WE). Had fish and chips "fresh daily from Hull" which were genuinely delish, walked along the beach for about an hour and back, went into the slot machine things at the amusement arcade (really classy-like, can't you tell), and went home via the pub.

Staying at their house tonight - just had game of carpet croquet which was hilarious as my mum had accidentally had a bit too much wine and she couldn't understand the rules, even though it's croquet and clearly not that hard. We kept trying to put it into carriage driving terms (ie cones/red flags/white flags) but she just fell over instead.

Waiting to get my passport back from changing my name on it, as need to book flights to Crimea in May. My brother is getting married and (bless them) they've chosen the date so I can go - although it means flying back 8 weeks before my due date (well, 7 if they won't change it from the last scan, grr). It's a long treck - 2 days there including staying overnight in Kiev, and it's hardly tourist destination central unless you're Russian, but it's a beautiful country and I'm really looking forward to going.

Hi aussie I agree with pony (seem to be doing a lot of that lately! ) I'm usually pretty active and it's been really tough to even walk the poor dog - although I'm lucky to be starting to feel better. As ski says, the nausea just drains you, doesn't it, and although I'm still getting very tired I'm SO much better since that passed. I guess if you're usually active and therefore have decent underlying fitness it just doesn't matter if you stop for a while as it will come back again pretty quickly when feeling better.

Oh and cas congrats on the boobs from me!!! That's a big change, and a D cup is really nice without being uncomfortable I've gone from C to D or DD and I'm loving it.

Oh and re pony's mention of compulsary glass, YOB and I went out for dinner last night and I had a glass of Moet on arrival, as it was offered, and I then ordered a glass of wine with my meal, taking great care to tell the waitress that I was only ordering a glass not a bottle as I was pregnant, just to see the disapproving look . I only drank half of it as it turns out that my alcohol tolerance, never actually great as I drink very little, has virtually disappeared given that I've drunk, in total, including Christmas, about 3 glasses of wine in the last 3 months, plus the 1 1/2 last night.

I did reluctantly shun the moules mariniere, which was a shame, but ate my salad. I agree that bagged salad is usually crap, but I'm not gonna worry about eating other leaves.

Does anyone else feel that July is a crap time to have a baby - other than it will have a nice birthday? It has totally blown all our summer plans. I think that Crimea will be our only holiday really, and I will not be able to do much fun stuff this season as by the time the summer comes I'll be big and ungainly (as I'm normally so svelt haha).

Although my friend rode until she was nearly 8 months so maybe I'm being a bit of a wimp. We have a sailing dinghy big enough for me, YOB and LC, and we were talking about whether I could sail this summer. YOB made a comment about ballast .

rots It was 36 degrees here last July. That'll be fun won't it? The size of a house and sweating rivers. Although we were thinking it'd be nice to walk (waddle) the dogs in the evening to the park and feed the deer and the like. I can always go skiing if I'm that hot and fed up - it's minus 5 in the there so just ideal to cool down!

I know Pony/carrots have been through it all before so know what to expect - but are the rest of you getting mithered with the tonnes of unsolicited, and frequently well-versed across the universe, advice you're receiving?

rots/pony/iggy Wrt the horsey... am I wrong in thinking this girl can get her fit all summer and I can do my ODE in October or am I just totally and utterly delusional?

ski all I can say is, first time I rode after having LC was about 3-4 months after I guess. I had to get off and mop the saddle as it was covered in my own wee.

Now you may not get that problem - but it's pretty common. I REALLY need to do more kegels as it's still not fixed.

Other than that you should be ok assuming you don't get too many stitches or whatever and of course assuming you don't have a section, otherwise clearly no way.

Heat = misery when heavily pregnant. But even if you can't go and ski, you can go and sit in the snow! Niiiice.

Re: advice. I'm getting less this time thank goodness, but my advice is (LOL), nod and smile. Think of it this way. You will typically get loads of riding/horse care advice from horsey people (and maybe ski people), especially when you're learning to ride or ski. Some you know is crap, some worth trying. As with that, take what you feel resonates with you and ignore the rest. But generally people offer advice to try to be kind, I guess, and given that it's such a great unknown that one steps into when one gets diffed, it's understandable that people want to help. And there's a lot of looking back and thinking "I wish I'd known..." which does get passed on and may or may not be relevant.

The problem really comes when advice becomes being pushy. For instance, I was "advised" to put LC on the bottle for the evening feed so ex could feed him and get closer to him. In fact, I was told that it was probably me insisting on BF that meant I was pushing ex away from LC which is why he wasn't building up a relationship. Despite the trauma I was going through I knew for an absolute fact that if I DID put LC on the bottle, ex would still refuse to do anything but it was made out that ex ignoring LC WAS MY FAULT.

In the end I did just that, despite being absolutely determined to not give him cow's milk based formula, and it was very distressing. Guess what - ex didn't want to know and had a go at me for "trying to force me to have anything to do with that thing". It lasted 2-3 nights and I put him back on the breast.

The point being, I was in the most vulnerable position possible, and I was essentially guilted and bullied into doing something that I knew was completely not going to work just to prove that it wasn't me that was causing the situation. This time round I have the confidence to tell people (including my (obv ex-)MIL, and the HV, who were the two telling me to do this), to go stick their advice up their jacksies if it comes to them being that pushy, coz I really do know what's best.

cas congrats on the tits and on your diffed day

ski I have no bloody idea if you'll be ok to ride physically by then as am baby virgin, as you know - but I like your thinking re: the girl keeps her fit. Mine is currently being kept ultra fit for no reason - so am hoping for a pony club teen to take him on for spring/ summer to hand back to me autumn/ winter... but the problem of money does rather kick in... so I may be better putting him on loan for a year... hmmm... I do know someone who was back riding 2 weeks after giving birth - but she did ride until about 2 weeks before... so only 4 weeks off...

I haven't had too much advice yet... quite pleased - but expect this will get worse once people actually can tell I'm diffed...

aussie I stopped horse riding pretty much as soon as I got my positive test result... and also gave up my twice weekly boxfit class - which I didn't last time.. Anyway - didn't actually feel up to much exercise - so have just been dog walking... Am hoping that once I have shifted this terrible plague I will be able to start swimming and go back to the gym...

pone that sounds bit stressful about your mum, but does sound good that you have it planned for how she can help.

rots your ex really does sound like a cunt. Sorry - just every time you post about him, I just think 'cunt'

My news is this - I have finally turned the corner in the terrible plague and actually feel a bit better - thank fuck!

yay iggs for defeating the lurgs! Hurrah!

aussie I have ridden my bike precisely 3 times since i found out (on 11th Dec). Road my road bike that day, then rode my mountain bike on NYD and last Sunday. Partly because of the snow, and partly becuse haven't really been up to it. I've been going to the gym at least once a week though, so not doing too badly - I am at least now losing the christmas lard And yes I am aware that you are supposed to put weight on, but believe me, this was in mo way baybee related weight!

We haven't had much advice yet, other than MIL pulling a face about bf, but then we are not "out" yet so it will come I am sure.

Just been for yummy sunday lunch with friends, they have asjed TGO to be their best man. His idea of hell, poor love.

Thanks all - glad it is not just me. Miss the cycling especially as it was something DH and I really enjoyed doing together and it kind of focussed our weekends.

Am trying to cook dinner tonight for DH since I've not cooked in forever and he's working like a mad person at the moment but God, it's hard work

aussie how pregnant are you?

iggs brilliant that you're feeling better! Hoping ski is. And yes, he is a cunt, good description. I know I do mention him quite a lot but as I've said before, I felt SO isolated at the time, as if I was the only person in the world going through this, that I talk about it a lot more now so anyone else reading this with a similar kind of problem knows they're not on their own. I wish I'd known that at the time, it would have helped so much - it turns out there's a lot more of it than I could ever have believed. It would also have helped to know that it wasn't acceptable behaviour as without talking to people I couldn't put it into context - typical abused spouse reaction. Therefore to you and everyone I do apologise if mentioning his shitty behaviour gets too much, but generally that's why I don't hold back about it.

The other reason is that I spent several years beating myself up for getting into an abusive relationship in the first place - blaming myself and feeling like a failure as a woman and a fool. That meant I continued to not talk about it. Having finally moved past the self-blame and realising that it was his poor behaviour, not my weakness as a person, it's ok to talk about it.

Or, in the case of the last post, just an example of what I was trying to say to ski! But you get my point.

cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, for the benefit of rots

On the exercise front - I could hardly be considered active. I spent my childhood, school and uni years in places where I had to walk alot, mainly up and down hills, every day to get anywhere. As a result I rarely considered any other form of exercise. (acually that's a lie, I was an aerobics addict for a couple of years as a teen, before I got the RA diagnosis) and remained a skinny cow.

At least my first FT job kept me on my toes a bit, but by the time I moved south, I had lost everything that kept me slim. No walking to get places, and previously ridiculously fast metabolism slowing down with age. Between 2007 and 2009 I gained more than two stone and increased two dress sizes (sometimes three. When we started TTC I joined a fitness club, and did aquafit and pilates for about three months, which I really enjoyed. Then they cancelled my pilates class, and weeks later I got diffed and lost all energy. I'm rubbish at "planned" exercise. I've put on sooooo much weight since my BFP, and it's not bump

However, that is about to change. I can't move back to a mountainous area, but this couch potato has signed up for a pre-natal yoga course. and today completed her first prenatal yoga session from a new DVD (also got a lovely massage from SFF thanks to great extra chapter on DVD). And that is the intention for the rest of this pregnancy. Will it continue? Based on previous track record, no. Based on my intent, yes! So please feel free to bully me

Thanks for the tit congrats - don't think SFF can believe it!

Ponymum Lol@"lying on the sofa eating jaffa cakes". There may well be an element of truth in that... if that is the usual MO then falling asleep at 9 rather than 11 will be their biggest symptom! Wise lady!

carrots Yes, a x-country course may be a little overly-ambitious and I don't want to wee on my stubben. Perhaps a gentle hack is more in order, with a seatsaver! As for the advice - I just got told the other day the TTC equivalent of "just relax and it'll happen". haha I also got told by a woman at the stables "if you want a ciggie, just have one - not just for you but the baby needs to relax too". Uh-huh - because nicotine is a known muscle relaxant right?

Curly Running around after a pram and a dog should help shift that and with any luck you can get back to the fitness club post-partum and have a little Curly time.

How much weight has everyone put on? I'm up 3lbs as per this morning but I'm sporting a definite bump. Which looks like a "who ate all the pies?" bump. Tsk.

For those who are interested I gave my medicine a whirl yesterday after losing my breakfast yet again yesterday morning (and sat) - amazing, within half an hour all nausea was gone and I didn't get the "may cause drowsiness" so I'm well impressed. The only fly in my ointment might be that the doctor only gave me 2 weeks supply and that was a bit of a blood/stone story!

ski I put on 6lbs in the first 3 weeks Mostly that was christmas related. I'm now about 3lb up on normal.

Bum. Was being nosey and wanted to snigger at Ponymum calling baby a foal, then I wrote a long bit for Skihorse about ignoring any preggo advice you get wrt to riding as it is just the start of competitive mum syndrome (ie 'I rode till I started TTC and then stopped.' 'Well, I rode till my waters broke and then only got off for long enough for the baby to pop out then got straight back on and was breastfeeding in the saddle.' All designed to make you feel inadequate. All depends whether you have a fire-breathing rocket-fuelled monster or a sofa you check on a daily basis for a pulse, too.)

Then the tinternet crashed and ate my post. So, round 2.

PS. I am 7 weeks and have hunger. I have to eat eat eat or die! Last time I was pregant it was late autumn whenI got the hunger and had to eat a manky cooking apple from the ground under the tree. I got stuck at the old house we were renovating and OH and my dad went to the tip in the car with my snacks in. I put on over a stone in 2 months - I vowed I wasn't going to do that this time, but Christmas and a week in a catered ski chalet plus hunger with a vengeance are conspiring against me!

I have actually started getting worried about the weight thing in the last week. I have put on 8 lb already (I'm 19 weeks today). The worst part is that 6 lb appears to have been added in the last 2 weeks! And to make it worse, my starting point was already 4 lb up because of my boozy greedy gourmet French holiday. I think this is why they are weighing me at every appointment. That's not a good sign, is it?

I have a definite pregnancy bump now, quite high up. MrP was in fits of laughter when I tried on my (slightly slinky) LBD to see if I could wear it to the restuarant tonight - the answer is definitely not! He was pointing at the enormous bulge and saying 'You're pregnant!!'.

Refusing to weight myself.

Hi pandora - did I miss something? Didn't know you were diffed. Congrats! Not sure about the getting off to deliver though. What a ponce. I delivered twins while going cross country and giving a riding lesson at the same time.

pony I also have a bump which I am LOVIN. Getting nekkid at night and admiring it in the mirror. I hate mirrors and continue to only look from neck down, so it's ok.

Official Announcement - carrots and YOB are pregnant! Got my nuchal results today - 1:2400 - so we're going live!

SO happy, SO pleased!

pandora Well I do intend to ride again once this sickness goes - weirdly enough it's the 40 year old childless woman at the yard who tells me I shouldn't... But then she's too scared to hack so she can kiss my arse! I got my message deleted on the ski thread because I saw some twonk over at sh had linked to it. Hunger or die - yes, felt that.

Yay carrots!

Ponymum That's not too much at all though is it? 8lbs at 19 weeks is surely acceptable? I'd tell them to bum off with the weighing though.

A rather annoying article:

www.rcm.org.uk/midwives/news/medical-indication-only-caesarean/

Saying that "CS without serious medical reasons were 14 times more at risk of death or complications than a normal birth". Seems to me that there's a big difference between "death" and "complications".

You lot are weighing yourselves??? What on earth for?? I am genuinely interested - what possible good can come of it?