Due May 2010: how much longer can we survive on crackers & crumpets?

[cupcakefairy]

Welcome to our lovely new home

Gonna start the list again so it is more accurate, hope that's ok!

19 May - cupcakefairy, 25, #1

morning all! had a bad night last night...im constantly worrying if im doing the right thing and if i will cope with 2 on my own. Los father called last night to tell me i am doing the wrong thing, then called my mum and she agreed with him in may ways, she said she just doesnt want me to have to bring 2 children up alone...she knows what its like she had to take care of three of us when my dad left. she worries about starting a career with 2 children as well as other things...which obviously i have thought of!
i have found that everyone has an opinion and that they are very willing to express it...i want to ask many of them would they prefer to be the pot or the kettle. luckly i hva efriends who are fantastic and non- judgmental! sorry rant over.
other than that all is well and baby is moving about nicely.
glad to see that more people have joined we will all hit the halfway mark soon and then begin the countdown.

it'shappenedagain, it's shit that your mum all but agrees with him She's supposed to be on your side! It's not as if you've done something terrible, you're only pregnant!

if I were you I'd be very blunt with her, tell her to shut up next time she suggests the baby isn't/wasn't a good idea, tell her there's NO POINT in that kind of talk, and if she's going to keep upsetting you and being so unsupportive then you'll have to consider cutting her out of your life. (Just to give her a wake-up call)

You are in the right and you will cope! But try to minimise the negativity around yourself, you don't need it right now and you certainly don't need it once the baby arrives.

Bloody families, eh!

itshappenedagain..if its any consolation 16 years ago when dd was 2 my partner walked out when I was 7 weeks preg with ds...my mother was horrified..I was going to end up a single young mum on benefits..she was so ashamed she didnt even tell her work colleagues I was expecting, didnt even tell them when I had DS (stupid moo)..however..it was hard work, but I managed..I went to college..then I did an OU course..I met DH when ds was 2 and by the time ds was 4 I was working as an HCA..then got my secondment to train as a nurse..DM was quick to write me off and tbh she has never been particularly supportive of anything ive done..but I managed and proved DM wrong..
dont let your mums comments get you down and im on your behalf that she is siding with your LO's father..was he not present at the conception then??..grrrr

on the subject of boobs..yes mine are still painful despite being 18 weeks..Ive promised myself that if the 21 week scan is fine..Ill get measured up for a bigger bra..at the moment Im quite scared that my volumous bosom will suffocate me in my sleep

itshappenedagain just wanted to say (as you kinda said in your post yourself) opinions are like @ssholes, everyone's got one!

All I can say is that whatever you decide will be THE RIGHT DECISION AT THE TIME! The reason I say this is many people look back on their childhood and say, "oh, my parents did this and did that, why didn't they do this like this," etc.

It's not a cop-out, we're all human and we do the best we can as parents. No one goes out of their way to screw their children up, bring them up on their own or have-to-work-two-jobs-and-never-see-their-kids-to-pay-the-bils, do they?

I work in IT and some problems are supported under 'best endevours' (do the best they can but can't guarentee a favourable outcome) and see parenthood the same.

Sorry for the long post, I don't have any kids (just yet) but I hope you take comfort from what I say.

You've got supportive friends (from what I glean of your posts) and hope that they can provide the support and understanding that you deserve.

hello all,

Thanks for all your good wishes. Mollybob my DB is bipolar, you have my sympathies. Are his meds just not working, or is he on the wrong dose?

itshappenedagain- i can't believe your mother! it will be so lovely for your LO to have a sibling if you're on your own otherwise. It will make you a real family- not that your not, but YKWIM.

ML what a nightmare for you! you will be soooooo pleased to get out of the place now, eh? And i'm glad to hear your LO is staying firmly in place!

Carzy time for me here. Amnio this pm. Running around like crazy to get everything done before holiday on sunday. All christmas and dd's bit=rthday presents wrapped. Sun tan lotion and mosquito repellent bought. Then the lease on my business expired at the weekend and my landlord gives me the new papaers on Friday! Cue Finding a solicitor super fast, and having to today get my docs validated by a commissioner for oaths, and having to order a new marriage certificate cos i can't find mine! ugh! Also had my SIL take me out for coffee and bemoan the state of her marraige to my DB. All this on top of work. Unsurprisingly i have upped my ADs as i'm feeling a little overwhelmed.

ItsHappeneAgain, I feel cross for you!!! At the end of the day, it is your decision, nobody elses. Stuff em!!

Felt a proper little 'thump' in my tummy yesterday for the first time! Had flutters now and again up until then. I was out having lunch with a friend and then I sat there like a loon nearly in tears cos it was so lovely to feel!! OMG....Its real!!!..haha

I am exhausted today though. Was out shopping all day yesterday, had to buy some maternity clothes. Settled for a pair of maternity jeans and a pair of leggings and a long jumper dress thing which is lovely. I also bought a pair of boots. Now usually, I am a jeans and hoody/tshirt girl...so you can imagine the comments i got at school this morning when I turned up in leggings, long black boots, and a cowl neck purple jumper dress!!! I even straightened my hair for the first time in months and wore it loose instead of scraping it back in a fuzzy ponytail!! Felt a bit of a pratt haha. The jumper wasn't tight but still clung to my tummy a bit, so you could see my bump People said how nice I looked and thta I looked a lot more healthy and happy than I have done in previous weeks, and that my outfit suited me I do feel a bit healthier, but seem to get tired easily so I am paying today for yesterday!! haha.

ML how are you doing?

My boobs are killing me too! I take off my bra at night and its like 'YEEEEOOOOUCH!!!!' as they hit the floor haha.

suey2 Good luck for this afternoon!

xposted....good luck for this afternoon suey. Try and relax!

It'shappenedagain- I'm so sorry your mum isn't giving you the support you need. Don't let anyone make you question yourself and don't spend the nights worrying about whether you've done the right thing. YOu need your rest! You HAVE done the right thing, and everything will be fine!

Good luck suey - let us know how you get on.

hello!
im with you all on the boobs thing, itchy and achy...will be going to get diff bras at the weekend as am very high up this time compared to when i was having DS.

SUEY- hope all went well with the amnio, keep us posted.

went to get some advice today and see someone impartial as to what i want...desicion baby. when i told mum id been she asked me why, but agreed it was the right thing to do. She loves me and only wants what is best for me, but i think she piints things out...often much to my dispare...incase i havent thought of the practicalities of everything. what she seems to forget is that i have done this before, but at least this time i know what i am letting myself in for. plus im not in the middle of my degree and im not living in halls! so all should be fine...i keep telling myself this.
Ds asked (well told me) tonight that we are a family, just a small one...they are doing about family at nursery school...he also grasps the concept that there is a baby in my belly and soon we will go and see pictures of it at the hospital. also that it( she as Ds always says) wont see her daddy either!
thankyou all for the support and lovely comments , think mum is still just shocked by it all.

Hi all -
itshappenedagain parents can say the stupidest things!

hollyoaks hope the inspection thing goes well

good luck suey

Yeh for all the moving babes and Boo to all the sore boobs...

My boobs are much better than a few weeks ago but my nipples are heuuuuuge!!!! TMI I know

DD is poorly - started with temperature and was getting better but now worse - chest infection and now on antibiotics

DS was trying to convince me he had temp and cough last night as wanted a day off school too but he's as fit as a fiddle

DH is ok - flat and demotivated and quiet but not as ill as he has been. He has a fab psychiatrist who has done wonders and my parents are a good suuport but at times it gets too much. He has no CPN as our local mental health service is beyond shite and if you complain then you get labelled as a trouble maker - he had a CPN but she was a total clueless bimbo who was always rabbiting about how she was a highly trained professional but who never really engaged with DH or got to know him and just patronised him. People often think that me being an NHS insider will mean that we get better care but sometimes it means the opposite as people get defensive and unpleasant. His psych is private and without him I honestly don't think DH would be alive. It's ok though - just finding work and pregnancy and the kids and worrying about him too much at times. I have 3 part-time jobs and 2 of them are fine about me being pregnant and the other is being dreadful. Have to contact occupational health and the union to get advice and just keep buggering on - I've had a few days off this week which helps get things in context and had such fun with DD today - even though she was poorly - we just lay in bed and cuddled and had girly chats. She's 8 and is utterly lovely.

James I can sympathise on the boobs! Mine are so painful and itchy and just generally annoying. I've found that lathering my Mama Mio stretch mark cream onto them seems to help!

Suey hope today went ok.

Hi All,

Suey how did today go?

Its happened again so sorry your not getting the support you need. You've just got to focus on whats best for you.

Mollymob sorry your having a stressful time. I work in mental health and know how unhelpful some services can be - shouldn't stop you shouting for hwat you need though.

I'm having a crappy time of it - feel like i'm moaning all the time Dont feel excited about pregnancy at all, more people know now and asking questions, feel like i just don't want to talk about it. There are a few girls at work who are pregnant too - a bit further on - i keep looking at them and thinking its all going to go wrong again for me.

Sorry for moan when everyone else seems to have much more on their plates...

mollybob..sorry to hear that your DH'S experience with the adult mental health service has not been good..not the first time I have heard this.

spent 3 hours at high risk clinic today..I have been put on insulin..just once in the evening...I have a natty insulin pen and its not painful to inject.
midwife couldnt find the hb with the doppler and even the consultant couldnt pin it down..but the elusive little devil was kicking out!..so was packed off for a quick scan just to see the hb.
back to clinic in 2 weeks.

we are moving house first week of jan

Den26 - sorry you're having a tough time, it's perfectly OK to moan - it's difficult being pg so we all have a lot on our plates. Are you feeling consistently down or having ups and downs?

Itshappenedagain - sorry you're not getting any family support, that's really sad

Mollybob - glad you had a nice day with your DD. Mental health care sounds like a nightmare Like ML, it's not the first time I've heard of people having a bad experience.

Suey2 - hope it went OK, thinking of you.

AnAngelWithin - you sound very glam! I'm just wearing my paint-splattered maternity dungarees all the time. They are soooo comfortable but I look a mess!

Boobs - mine are really tender still too! DD keeps grabbing them which really hurts.

Swine flu jab - I had mine this afternoon. Our GP surgery did them in a clinic - I thought it'd only be a few people but the queue was out the door when I turned up and there was standing room only . They were giving out tickets, when I got there they were on no. 750 and I was 828! The jab itself (Pandemrix) was fine although I'm feeling a bit rubbish this evening - may have overdone it cleaning the kitchen this afternoon though. Anyway, hoping the side-effects aren't too bad. I don't think our surgery was expecting so many people, the clinic was due to close at 6 when I had my jab, but they were giving out ticket 900 as I left .

Den26 - sorry you're having a tough time, it's perfectly OK to moan - it's difficult being pg so we all have a lot on our plates. Are you feeling consistently down or having ups and downs?

Itshappenedagain - sorry you're not getting any family support, that's really sad

Mollybob - glad you had a nice day with your DD. Mental health care sounds like a nightmare Like ML, it's not the first time I've heard of people having a bad experience.

Suey2 - hope it went OK, thinking of you.

AnAngelWithin - you sound very glam! I'm just wearing my paint-splattered maternity dungarees all the time. They are soooo comfortable but I look a mess!

Boobs - mine are really tender still too! DD keeps grabbing them which really hurts.

Swine flu jab - I had mine this afternoon. Our GP surgery did them in a clinic - I thought it'd only be a few people but the queue was out the door when I turned up and there was standing room only . They were giving out tickets, when I got there they were on no. 750 and I was 828! The jab itself (Pandemrix) was fine although I'm feeling a bit rubbish this evening - may have overdone it cleaning the kitchen this afternoon though. Anyway, hoping the side-effects aren't too bad. I don't think our surgery was expecting so many people, the clinic was due to close at 6 when I had my jab, but they were giving out ticket 900 as I left .

itshappeningagain - sorry that you have had a hard time with your DM. Your DS sounds like a gem...and in some ways more in-tune with what is going on for you than your DM!

ML glad to hear that baby is all good and you have a date to move out of your house

mollybob and Den26 sorry to hear that you guys are having a stressful time.

suey hope you are going ok after the Amnio this afternoon.

james I am definitely hearing you about the sore and ichy boobs - I am delaying buying new bras...but not sure how much longer I can squeeze myself into the ones I have.

Anyone else suffering the sudden and hideous effects of trapped wind? I haven't experienced anything like it - I can see why people think they are having a heart attack -very sharp pains! Anyone have suggestions of way to get rid of this (apart from windeaze?)

ML - glad you got a good check up - sounds like you're growing a real awkward one - the insulin pen things are brill - really clever

Den26 - no enthusiasm here either but really pregnancy can be stressful, scary and unpleasant so don't blame yourself - what matters is what happens from May and you'll be grand

was speaking to DS form teacher today and she thinks he's settled well into big school and she gets him and his eccentricity

and with a bit of help I managed to tidy up the frint room today - with DH all low and demotivated and me vomiting and knackered the house is such a mess but nice to have one tidy room for once - my Mum is trying to get a cleaner who will come and do a top to bottom house scrub pre xmas as a pressie for me - not sure if I'd rather have perfume and the Harry Potter DVD instead...

hello all,
so ml, have you found somewhere then? is it dh's boss's place?

den ikwym. i was so excited with my first and feel like i have just been one big stress cadet with this one.

cupcakefairy- i love the mamamio baby bump balm! i havent started to feel itchy yet, but will get some in when i do.

amnio, not pleasant and feel weak and shaky now. But it's over. results friday/ saturday. then maybe i can allow myself to get excited! I just keep chanting 'maldives, maldives' to myslef.

suey..make sure you rest...

yep we are renting the house belonging to the company..weve got it cheaper than they were asking as DH is employed by them..its a large 4 bed detached..loads of space and a big garden..very stressed at the thought of moving though

Suey glad you are the other side of the amnio now, rest up like ML says. Wont be long until the maldives now, what perfect timing for a holiday.

ML your new house sounds fantastic! I hate the upheaval of moving as well but at least it will give you the perfect excuse to have a good pre christmas sort out!

Cith I am drinking a fair amount of peppermint tea that is helping my trapped wind, also Holland and Barrett sell Japanese peppermint oil which I had just after my CS which is magic stuff for clearing trapped wind but I am not sure if it is ok in pregnancy (no reason to think its not but I am always wary of what I buy in "health" shops!

Den sorry you are feeling down, do you have a date for your 20wk scan? That is always a nice thing to look forward to and I find seeing the baby on screen really helps me feel connected.

suey, I'm glad it went ok, do look after yourself - do you have tomorrow off work?

memorylapse, that's good news about the house, especially with your continued boiler issues. It's a shame you're having to move straight after christmas but at least you'll be nicely settled by the time baby arrives eh? How are you feeling now?

Mollybob your mum sounds great! I'd love to get a cleaner in before christmas!

Sorry to hear about all the sore boobs, feel like I'm smuggling glass inside mine tbh, I yelp everytime ds climbs on me and knocks them. Next comes the leaking - oh the joys, eh! lol

Good Morning all!

Suey glad to hear things went ok for you.

Mollybob my house looks like a few bombs have gone off in it. No soon as i've tided one room, it just seems to go back to square one.

I was so shattered yesterday, i was climbing through a soft play area with DD and taking her down the big slide. It was fun, but won't be able to do that for much longer.

I felt a lump next to my belly button and then found one the size of a pea just inside my belly button. I completely freaked out and had this image of my belly popping. Stupid i know!

Anyway went for a lie down and it disappears, get back up and it was there again, but it's not there today, so can only assume it was one of the twins. DD for some reason like lifting my top and poking the belly button, so i like to think it is one of the twins thinking they were poking her back! lol.
Will bring it up with the midwife if it returns again, just to make sure.

I hope everyone is keeping well.