Due Jan 2010 - we're all bump now !

[sazlocks]

Hi all - a new thread for all our new chat as teh old one is nearly full. No idea how to do a link though !

Mama2b5 - stop making us all jealous

Just got back from working at a pupil referal unit for young mums aged 13-16. Most of them are really good mums even though they look like babies themselves. They were so eager to sing with their babies which was lovely to see.

Feeling a little anxious as picked my dd up from her friends house, she is not in her class at school but a girl is off sick with swine flu and my dd'd friend who she was with today plays with her at school and was feeling a little unwell today so now worried she has swine flu and so has passed it to my dd.

Think I am going to keep worrying like this until I get that jab! I just want someone to tell me to take it instead of, "Oooh I understand your concerns, its up to you, blah blah...". So if all the ladies on here who have had the vaccine would not mind to tell me to just get my butt in gear and get that jab! I'd really appreciate it. Thank you x

Does it also take three weeks before it kicks in?

Bethoo - glad to hear you spoke to housing today. Dont worry about crying, pregnant women cry easily anyway and you are going through alot right now so they would understand that and if it helps then hooray Big hugs to you x

I finally got my letter for the sf jab today. Made an appointment but not until 30th November! I will feel relieved when I've had it as I really don't want to feel like I did the other week or worse.

Glad you've started to get things sorted out bethoo with the housing people. I think anyone would be crying when their relationship's broken down let alone with 2 children and very pg. Keep positive.

Bethoo I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. I don't have any words of wisdom to add to those already posted, but I am thinking of you and I hope that you get things sorted soon.

quirkychick I had my letter a couple of weeks ago, made an appointment and was told that I couldn't have it as I had a cold. I pointed out that I've had it for about 6 weeks, but they wouldn't give me the jab. I'm going back in December to try again!

devotion I know how you feel, every time I tried to speak to someone, I got the same response. In the end DH and I decided that, as I seem to catch everything going at the moment, it would be a good idea for me to have it. I am not totally happy about having it, but I've worried about it so much and changed my mind so many times I just want it all done with now.

I finally finished work today - yippee! I don't start my maternity leave until 17 January, I'm on leave until then. I am so relieved not to have to get up in the morning. We have decided to leave DD in nursery until January to allow me some time to get things sorted for the baby. Just as well really, I have so much to do!

FifiForgot - I feel just like you. I think I will call up tomorrow and book my jab. I guess I could always chicken out anyway but I reckon if I book I will just stop this changing my mind literally every 10 mins and get on with it.

I am not joking when I say every 10 mins, I honestly say to myself, "yes I am definitely getting it.... no, I think I will see how it goes and make a decision then" - i dont want to get to mid dec and i'm surrounded by people everywhere with swine flu and then everyone is rushing to get it and then the stocks have run out.... plus i'm not sure how long it takes for it to kick in.

Just watched the 10 o'clock bbc news and they talked about how a phone poll done on pregnant women asking will they get vaccinated, 50% said yes, 27% said no and the rest did not know. I was hoping they would talk more about the fears pregnant women have over the jab and about how we dont have to the choice to have celevpan but nothing. I think its terrible that they can not provide and discuss both sides of the story with some kind of percentages for us to make our choice rather then just making us feel like they are worrying us into our decision which to be honest is how I feel.

I am getting the jab because I am worried I could get seriously ill not because there is only a 2.5% chance of me having a reaction to the jab and a 40% chance of developing serious complications due to swine flu - these are made up percentages by the way. I just wish I had some percentages to work from so i know where I am in the decision making.

Arrrrggggggggghhhh! I just realised the other day I said I would say not more about this so sorry - naughty me

You can tell this is on my mind most of the time right now... excuse long selfish waffling post

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand - relax!

morning ladies, i am still undecided about the sf vaccine!
well after a heartto heart wiht my sister who has beeen witness to the other side of dp has told me that he has been mentally and psychologically abusing me for a year and it is not healthy. i admitted that i knew and sobbed for england so there is no going back for me now. at least i had not moved in wiht him, he had already told me that i could not have my friends over anyway so would have been trapped in there 24/7. i knew he would not change when at the weekend he told me i only had my profile pic on facebook to get male attention which is wrong for any woman to atract men when with a partner. i have been thinking of all the things and it all adds up, he met me when i was vulnerable (pregnant) and as soon as he could he got me back into that state of vulnerability and evne when i first found out i was pregnant he was talking about ''banging another one in next year''. he would not let me out unless it was wiht him, i was not allowed to say hello to the male neighbours without being questioned as to how i knew them! he critiscised all my friends and mocked what they said. the list is endless. he said he would pamper me when i fell pregnant but when he came home from work he would do fuck all and i would still be doing chores til bedtime. he would nto let me bath my kids as apparantly i was not firm enough. he would imply i was neglecting my kids for my own selfish reasons yet if i was upstairs ironing i could hear the kids crying and he would not have changed dirty nappies when i came downstairs. sorry i could go on. what saddens me is that i am a strong independant person and fell hook line and sinker and it hurts to think that i gave a year of my life and a new baby to someone who obviously never loved me or loved me in an unhealthy manipulating way. all this time i thought i was a terrible and dirty person for my past when i was a normal woman!

Oh Bethoo - my heart bleeds for you. What a horrid horrid thing for you to be going through right now BUT.... you are doing the right thing. You have opened up to your sister, you have let your barriers down so that people can step in and help you/be there for you and it sounds like you have woken up to what's been going on in your life for the past year. That is never easy to do and far too easy to make excuses, ignore, think that things will get better etc.

On a practical note, you previously said that you didn't have any family around for when you go into labour. Have any of your family or friends thought about this - have you? Right now you are going to ideally need someone with you as birth partner and someone to look after your children - plus for a little bit after the birth too. Can anyone come and stay with you?

bethoo!

I'm so glad you have your sister to help you. What a horrible man, that's no way to treat anybody. Have you posted on the lone parents board? I think somebody else suggested that as well? You might find more mnetters that have direct experience of what you are going through and can offer practical advice and help. Obviously, we are all here to help and support you here too.

Some people are very damaged and the only way they can relate or bind other people to them is by manipulating them. Dp has some prize manipulators in his family. Not nice.

i have a friend who said that she would have my children (i just hope i get all my iv for GBS as otherwise i end up staying for 2 nights!!) and i am sure my next door neighbour will have the dogs for me. i did not have a birthing partner last time so probably will not this time, though i think my next door neighbour will take me in should it be after working hours otherwise i will probably get a taxi. if xdp comes he will end up feeding me lies about changing etc and have me moved in to his prison home before the cord is cut!

Hi bethoo I am glad you talked to your sister it's nice to have support - I haven't offered you any advice as well all I would say is dump his sorry ass you are worth more .
My dad was a bit like your ex and over years isolated my mum until she was convinced she had no friends and by then no self esteem. Stay strong.

Hi all

bethoo you are a normal woman, everyone has a past, and i'm pretty damm sure that most of us will at some point have had a sexual relationship with someone other than our partner. I have a 16 year old son to show for my past 'sex'. At times the relationship between my dh and ds has been strained, but thats just teenage boys and authority. He was only 2.5 when I met dh but he still has regular contact with his dad, and his dad and new wife came to our wedding how pc is that.

Me and dh both know we've had other partners but to keep bringing it up and using it to abuse your mental health is not on. You don't deserve to be treated like that by anyone, let alone someone who is supposed to love and care for you.

As for crying, i'm not going through anything like you but I could quite easily cry at the drop of a hat, i'm sure people will understand. Get yourself a new place, have a lovely christmas with the dc's and look forward to seeing the new baby. Its good that you have your sister for support and she can see whats been going on, because it isn't always easy when your in the situation.

Sorry for the long post, hope everyone else is ok. As I posted yesterday I had sf jab, and other than a sore arm for a couple of weeks have had no other reaction. I agree with can't about the sitting in the waiting room though it made me feel worse.

mw yesterday, still glucose in wee, so fasting bloods to be taken on mon. She said my baby felt chunky cheeky bugger!! and was on the upper line on the weight chart, so i'm having a little sumo. can't wait.

Sorry stupid pg brain it was swh thats had the jab.

Just catching up as not been on for a while. Bethoo - good to hear you're making what sounds like very positive decisions.

I haven't had a letter about the SF jab, am just sort of leaving it at the moment and wait to hear from them and will make my decision then.

Re those not sleeping, I gave in and bought one of those big pillow things last night, it sort of works...

Devotion have you booked your jab yet? I'm rubbish when I have a cold, so any way out of flu is fine by me.

Having said that, my arm is soooo sore. I couldn't move it at all yesterday, and today is only slightly better. It's very painful to touch so of course DSs keep bashing into it. I almost cried with the pain of it yesterday. I am such a wimp.

Today I completely embarrased myself by almost passing out while I took DS2 to his school mini-visit. I sat with him while they did the register, started getting hot & breathless, then when I stood up everything started going grey, and my hands & arms went numb & tingley. I must have scared the teachers cos they all started fussing round,got a TA to sit with me and fetched me water. I have no idea what caused it but I feel really silly. Will have to try & behave myself next time!

Just one peice of advice (can't remember if anyone has said it yet) if you are having the SF Jab, make sure to have it in the arm you DON'T sleep on...I'm so happy that I had it in my right arm, if I'd had it in my left there's no chance I would have slept last night! I don't want to be the one to 'encourage' people to do something they're not comfy with, but one of the things that put my mind at rest after having the jab was the knowledge that my baby is going to come out with the immunity to SF and that should he come into contact with it his new little lungs aren't going to have to deal with it. I also wanted to say that I had more immediate side effects from having the seasonal flu jab (a few years ago), which made me feel awful for a good 24hrs than I have from the SF jab which has just made my muscle on my arm a little tender at the site of the needle. And yes it takes 3 weeks to be fully immune after the jab, but everyday up til that point you are increasingly protected.

Hi swh

If it was anything like mine, it gets worse over the next few days, I had a golf ball sized lump that has only just gone down (2wks ago i had it)but it was really painful a couple of days after for about a week just then uncomfy. I would second the sleeping arm though, everytime I turned over onto my left arm it woke me up and I had to turn back, which with the spd is not very easy. Needless to say i've not had much sleep for the last couple of wks. Better now though, as I don't seem to have the getting up to wee constantly.

Gp did offer the celvapan after I said thats what I wanted (don't do eggs) but that because they didn't have it at the surgery yet I would have to wait. so decided as I was there I would have the P one, she did say I would start to be protected straight away - is that not right!!!!

Just to lighten the mood how do I stop eating a chocolate orange - I am already half way through . I bought it for ds for xmas and it has been looking at me for a while so I decided way too much choc for a 3 year old - oh the shame....

SB you have to eat the whole thing for it to count as one of your 5 a day. I know it's a hardship

Goodpoint sockmonkey but will I feel sick afterwards...

lol sockmonkey sb I got given one the other day and was very naughty and tried to eat it all myself (with dd2 & 3 & dh watching)cruel I know. but ended up feeling so sick after half of it I gave in and let them have it. You sound like your doing ok on your own so why stop. You can work it off after babys born (that said I'm still working off my baby fat from 6 years ago and obviously now adding to it).

sigh sigh I'll never be thin again!!

partyof6 I have swapped for a banana - feeling virtuous but not as happy - lol.
Do you know if the weight I gain directly corresponds to the weight the baby gains. They have predicted a birth weight of about 5 lbs and I just wondered if I made an effort to gain weight if the baby would...if you can follow that.

mmmmmmmmmmm chocolate orange - my fav!!!! i like it from the fridge too. I would eat a whole one if I had it here. Dh is shocked at how greedy I have become, my appetite has just trippled.

sockmonkey - just tried to call to book but closed until 1.30pm so will call up and just DO IT!

Partyofsixsoontobeseven - i guess the nurse means your immunity starts growing straight away but it probably does not peak until later.

Great advice on getting on the arm you dont sleep on.

x

Boo to all fruit.

shiny I'm no expert even after 5, but it makes sense that any weight you put on some of the fats/sugars etc must be passed to baby. Are you havin baby early or do you have small babies anyway (sorry if this is your first, I obviously don't pay attention)

Have you put on much weight?

No this is my second ds was born at 39 weeks 8lbs, and this one is being delivered about the same gestation and they thing if lucky 6lbs but more like 5lbs. I have put on about 8lbs so far but was a size 14 to start with so not thin.

8lb in weight so far?????? Bloody hell Shiny - eat the rest of that chocolate orange!!!

How can you ONLY put on 8lb so far ?????????

Seriously - you just HAVE to put on more weight don't you? What about all the fluid etc? When I gave birth to both previous DCs I lost over 1.5stone in weight immediately due to baby (7lb 4 and 8lb) and fluid...... you'll be smaller than when you started

Hi all- I haven't posted in a few days and have missed so much Bethoo I split up with my xdp with only two weeks to go with my dd at the time it seemed the end of the world and wondered how I'd cope 9 years later I'm married have another ds and this one on the way.

I'm still loosing some blood streaked jelly (tmi ) hospital have said its my show but it doesn't mean baby will arrive.
I'm feeling loads of pressure down below and loads of braxton hicks i'm sure baby has dropped but we'll see on monday when I see the midwife.

Hope everyone else is doing okay