Due April 2009 - Chapter 32: Shake your pom poms, Shake your pom poms, Shake your pom poms!!!

[BabyBolat]

Hope no one minds I gave Nutty the vote after her epic birth!

He has another appointment for 3 weeks today (3 weeks seems ages to me, but there we go), but said, unprompted, that he's considering just not bothering if it's still such rubbish.

I can't help but feel that it's a bit unfair of her to try to brainwash him into believing that his life is awful because of me & that the solution is to spend less time with me / no time with me at all. It's nothing to do with me at all, yet it seems that she's trying to paint me as being a bit mad / unable to cope & dragging him down.

If I wasn't so level-headed, I'd be worried about him buying into it because things aren't totally rosy at the moment - we have a 3 week old baby! We're tired & grumpy & adjusting to a massive life-change. We're perfectly fine & not even having big arguments, but you all know how it is. Imagine if I was suffering from PND & he came home & told me all of this!

Nutty, that's what I thought. I thought it'd be him just talking about his dad & other familial issues & her asking how he felt about it & stuff. All a bit wishy-washy, really - but getting him to confront it. I didn't expect her to start getting involved in our current lives & making such bizarre comments & suggestions.

She would've been much more suited to a role as a HV, given her apparent obsessions. On which topic, she was expressing surprise that a HV hasn't been to see us yet (we were only discharged from the MW today & have a HV appointment for Thursday) & was also whining on about how I should've had extra teen pregnancy support because I was 19 when I conceived. I don't even know how true that is, but I didn't need any extra support because of my age & what does it have to do with her anyway?

Hello! I have been out in town all afternoon. Had forgotten how much longer everything takes when you have to keep stopping to BF! ALthough found a very good place to go - the liberary! We were there to take some books back but always let DD1 out of her buggy to look at books, toys etc while we are there. So I sat and BF (there was even signs promoting BF in there!) while DD had a play. Meaning everybody was happy!

BUT I did discover my double buggy wont fit in a lot of places - the big family room at debinhams for a start which I used to use all the time as it is the only place that has loo, changing room, BF chair etc all in one. . Didn't matter today as I was with DH so we just took it in turns to wait with the buggy but on my own its a bit hard.

Does anybody use a sling? My sisters gave me a close baby carrier today which I have wanted for ages but couldn't justify buying it when I already have a ring sling. I haven't tried it out yet as litterally just got it. Feels lovely and soft. I am hoping to be able to BF in it but not sure how. Got to watch the DVD though so hopefully that wil explain all. NEver really gave the ring sling a proper chance with DD1 but I have more need for a good sling this time with 2 of them.

Hi everyone, cant stay for long, gonna have a shower while Lewin's sleeping.

My bleeding/lochia stuff stopped after 4 days. It has now been stopped for 4 days. MW was completely unconcerned but I feel a tiny bit abnormal. Anyone else stopped bleeding so soon? It's not even that it has changed to discharge, there's nothing. I don't even wear a pad now. MW felt my tummy and said my uterus is back below my pubic bone so unlikely there's anything caught inside me.

Also my SPD came back with a vengence today. I overdid it on walking yesterday and spent a lot of the morning in tears even if I had to only walk a few steps. I stupidly thought that once I'd given birth the pain would disappear, silly me.

Still really wobbly about you know who. I just cant accept he doesn't want to try for us. I just cant accept it at all. He's coming up tomorrow, so it's going to be such a difficult day. How can I stay strong and stick to my guns when all I'll want to do is hug him and tell him to look after me? Sorry I know you cant answer this, but I'm scared I wont be able to cope around him.

I'm off for a shower then I'll hopefully manage back for a minute.

Loved all your stories by the way. Nutty I'm jealous of DH's mowhawks, I used to have a blue one. (in college of course )
BB that sounds so romantic and lovely. I think you're right it was fate that brought you two together.

Ooh, family room at Debenhams sounds exciting. Must check that out. (Did I really just say that? )

Nutty, I agree. I had to keep casually prompting him to tell me what was said, but more because he's a man & rubbish at relaying information than because he was hiding things, I think.

& he does have male friends, but they're silly, 'fun' friends - I'm the only person he'll talk openly to about big issues like this. & he does talk a bit, but it's difficult for me to say anything that doesn't sound like I'm being bitchy about the PIL. I don't think he hears it like that, but it's dodgy ground. & he doesn't just talk in a flow like I would - he does need sort of guiding through it.

I'm still bleeding a bit (3 weeks tomorrow), but only so much that I need to wear a pantyliner, not a big pad. & I don't need to change it very often. The bleeding's a bit intermittent & I could probably get away with half the liners if I knew when to expect it! (It was worst after feeds, but there appears to be no pattern now). It's been like the end of a period & is slowly tailing off.

Boo for SPD I hope you feel much better soon & can avoid needing to do too much for a while, at least.

Sorry that I can't say anything that'll make your situation any easier. All I know is that you will cope. You've been so strong already & you know why things are as they are. For as long as you feel that you have the need to stick to your principles & ultimatum, you'll be fine. It must be so difficult, though. I hope he can come through for you xx

I suppose that it'd be okay if she discussed me if I were relevant. If he needed counselling because of our relationship. But he doesn't! It's about stuff from before I even knew him. It does make me wonder what he's said to her, because it seems so strange that she'd be focusing on such odd things. I can't really believe that he'd have said anything about me, though. & not only that I'd not expect him to discuss me like that to her (there's nothing to say!), his reactions when telling me about it didn't add up to that.

I think she's just a bit crazy herself. I hope he decides to quit the sessions without me having to get too involved.

NHS. Big surprise, eh?

Nutty - are you saying you are meant to have a smear and bloods at 6 week check? (very needle phobic) I definatly didn't last time round?

Possibly a uni counsellor, I suppose. But I think if he quits this one, that'll be it - he won't be bothered to chase it up again. I'm not worried anyway, as the issues we were having that led to it all starting aren't issues anymore. & if it starts up again, it'll be one of the first things to point him at.

I'm not sure if I'll get a smear. I don't think I will - being under 25 & all, even though I've had a baby

The MW did ask me about contraception today (which is a 6 week check topic), but seemed to know less than I do. I'll have to go to the Family Planning Clinic if I want it sorting before then & have a proper chat, I think. I was hoping she'd have a magical solution, but it's all just a huge compromise. I'm a bit terrified of getting pregnant again, though. I'm not even sure what I'd do if it happened again now. & I hate condoms! Hate them!

That is to say that I don't want to be pregnant again until I've finished uni. Not that I don't want to be pregnant again ever. Although all this one-handed typing is already getting a bit old

My 6 week check with DD1 was doctor just asking me if there were any problems, checking my tummy and TBH that was about it! What do you have bloods done for? TBH I will probably say no to them unless they are particually important. I get so worked up over needles, it just isn't worh it. I was SO happy to get through my labour and birth with not a single needle! Last time i had 12 I think and ended up coming out with more fear of needles that before (mainly due to stupid MW lying to me to get me to have things I didn't want in the first place!).

Oh and I have never had a smear test - I am only 22 though. They always seem to change their minds as to when I am going to have one. At one stage I was going to have it booked, then I got pregnant with DD1 and they didn't do one after she was born and then soon enough I was pregnant again!

Right. I've got a screaming baby who just will not stop...
and I have an ugly looking blister on my nipple which DH and I are debating about whether it's a milk blister or a blood blister...
the former could be causing the milk not to flow of course and thus the screaming baby even though we've fed...
I've offered the other breast and she's too upset to take it currently...
Can anyone offer any advice? (I'll be posting a picture of the blister in a sec...

I really needs hugs to be honest..I'm near breaking...
Posting officially in the big MN river here

If only the child would stop screaming for a moment... as far as I can tell the breast is empty...or nearly so, so she shouldn't be hungry really I don't think...and she keeps spitting up...which implies she's also not needing more... but then she's crying non-stop...