Started sorting out my baby clothes in the last week. Planning what I need to buy, new pram, newborn car seat/carrier, trying to buy clothes that will get me through the (hopefully hot) summer. Then Bam. Went for 16 week blood test (late but within timelimit), first of all couldn't get any blood out of me. Then couldn't hear heart beat. I trust my midwife implicitly as she was with me for my first born and second (this is pregnancy no 4, I have two children).
So she referred me to hospital yesterday and she said today she didn't think it was anything apart from the baby lying in an awkward position. Anyway, scan showed the baby has died, I am (?) 17+5 weeks. I go in on Monday for drugs to stop my body producing pregnancy hormones (ie holding onto the baby) then on Wednesday I will be induced to give birth. Labour without the bonus! Great.
Now that I've stopped crying constantly and asking questions it lookslike I'm going to go through hell next week. As my first two births had retained placentas which meant surgery, same is likely to happen, plus my previous labours weren't fast, first one at 41 weeks took 2 days of being induced before I got labour going. Three full days in total, last one was, well, long enough. So rough ride coming up, DH taking time off for Mon and Wed in hosp but then needs to be away at v.important work conference th+fri so if I go on longer he'll have to leave me to it. I'd better get a damn good summer hol this year I can tell you........... losing the poor mite is hard enough at the moment. Still can't believe he/she gave up on me.........