Due April 2009: Episode 20 - Angst Ridden Fruity Fornication

[SmuttyNuttyTaff]

sorry couldnt help myself

on the last episode of april 2009 mums to be ..........

OddEyes & Babypringle are possibly going into labour Very Exciting!

Kaz & Skiingone - posted birth stories

lots of Fruity Smut, I was caught by the Fruit Fuzz and restrained

Lots more smut.......smutt...smutt

BB & WFH still havent popped (though we now have a birthing ticket system) We have to wait our turn

Boffin's AP causes more greif, beatings were handed out to a soundtrack

More commune talk

Morphine chasers with lots of soundtracks that take you back to the good ol' days

Springy & Suprise have gone to Brum for the weekend.

contractions/BH's/ movement/ailments aplenty

sorry if i have missed anything out ....

Nobody did actually pick up on the ribbed aspect. Your really need to be on here more often with that sort of contribution.

ahhh lol. My mind is in the gutter most of the time....

Hello again

Kali, your doctor sounds like a loon, if you don't mind me saying. Over here a midwife would have felt the pelvis and had a good look at you generally. They would then have done an ultrasound scan and guessed the weight of the baby, recognising there is a 10% margin of error either way (a lot in other words). If they were still worried they would probably have recommended a trial of labour, because there is plenty of time to change plans and go for a section if you or the baby get tired or distressed. You would then be sent up to chat about it with a consultant, who would probably have said the same thing.

My plan would be:

1. Find a sensible obstetrician and get another opinion. Maybe talk to some midwives too.
2. Get on that birthing ball.
3. Get a chiropractor (or osteopath or physio in extremis) to tweak your pelvis on a few occasions to maximise space and get the baby into a good position for birth - he/she might also be able to give an opinion about its anatomy. Baby's head might subsequently engage after that attention.
4. Consider a water birth because that helps the pelvis expand to its maximum capacity.
5. Avoid sitting or lying down in second stage as this reduces pelvic capacity and makes pushing harder anyway.

Now onto more prosaic matters of housekeeping origin. I have successfully collected the pram from the storage unit, and we are washing the linings. They are a white polycotton mix, and some of them can go into the machine but some need sponge cleaning. Unfortunately some are very yellowed and I have sponged them clean and put them out in the sunshine, but I am not very confident this will work. Any housekeeping ideas as to how to get the whiter than white??

THREAD NOTICE FOR ALL

I'm going to start a new thread but I won't link just yet as we have a bit of breathing space on ths one still.

I would seriuosly freak if someone needed to inspect my house. My mum was lovely the other day and cleaned my bathroom before it became a science experiment.

I need to really think about cleaning the fish tank but reasoning at the moment is that there is enough old bits of food in there than when I forget to feed them they wont starve and if I clean the tank they will have no emergency food supplies1

Boffin:
Vinegar? Bicarb of soda? And then hanging in the sun...

Hello everyone, can't keep up.

toothpaste! lol my answer to everything (not sure how sensible though)

Bit worried it will whiff a bit with some of those solutions. Might try the bicarb though. I am a big bicarb fan, as you all know.

Boffin - this is not helpful but indicative of my parenting style - If possible buy some new ones???

Boffin, good to hear that you got some good VIP treatment at the hospital & that it's nothing serious - this pregnancy thing doesn't half cause a few scares! It's nearly over now, though. Just keep repeating that to yourself. It's nearly over!

frekkles, your 'how to deal with difficult people' strategy was really useful, I think - very clear & makes a lot of sense. I know who I'll be coming to when I have a tantrumming child on my hands

It sounds really good that you two sat down with the calendar & sorted things out for the coming month. Seems like a really good tactic.

& I have to admit that I'm aware of the phrase 'wide on', although I've not heard it used in a long time now I think of it.

Why is it that so many of you know how heavy your babies are at the moment? I'd love to know. Am I missing something, or is it just if you're measuring big / small with the tape measure that you get sent for a scan or something?

Schulte, I'd love to get a dishwasher, but we physically can't fit one in our kitchen I am considering a cleaner after the baby arrives, though. I'm not sure that DH would be keen, but just a couple of hours a week would make so much difference, I think.

purplemonkey, I think you just earnt your April Smut Stripes (Which turns out to be almost exactly the phrasing that Puzzle used, which leads me on to: )

Why are people always surprised that Puzzle's total filth? She's as bad as the worst of us! I'm amazed at how well she seems to be able to hide it!

Kali, the image of your shouting doctor with her ruler made me laugh I hope she is just a bit of a nutter & there's actually no problem at all

Will post & see how much I've missed now!

Lemon juice?

Springy - why am I not surprise that you know the term wide-on. Do you edit Urban Dictionary?

Hi Kaz

surpris-ed, of course.

Morning, Auld

& no idea about how to clean things - I'm useless. Frankly, I like BB's idea

Last night we broke the sex ban & I was wide awake until at least 5am with really painful contractions again, despite taking paracetamol. I don't know what to do - do I just carry on & assume that at some point they just won't calm down & deal with it then (possibly waiting until Saturday to try again, so I'm 37 weeks), or avoid it () & wait for things to start by themselves?

Haha, no, I don't edit Urban Dictionary, but I know a lot of foul-mouthed people Birds of a feather & all that

Springy, try a nice warm bath and getting your feet up, and ignoring them. Four days to go and they can do what they like.

Back in ye olden days, you used to be able to get some kind of blue cubes for using when cleaning e.g. net curtains, because the blue counteracted the yellowing and made them look sparkling white. Definitely a blue thing. I just remember my Nan using them though, I've never seen them anywhere.

Perhaps I dreamt them?

Ooh, look, am not mad!

Purple - you were always in the smut club anyway you had sex in july remember

Kali - lol at your doctor

Puzzle -ROFL at inner hooker

Boff - do you have shares in bicarb??

BB - will you please stop working now woman!! please, pretty please? xx

Springy - i dont know how heavy my baby is either Tweet Tweet

They're not too bad now, but there were a few hours where I was beginning to think that I was going to have to elbow DH awake & demand to be driven to the hospital because they were awful & at the point where my bump was very nearly permanently hard, even though the pain was still coming & going in waves.

I don't want to not have sex until after the birth (because God knows how long it'll be after the birth that I'm up to it!) but I don't really want to keep having many hours like that without any result. As it is, at the moment, I'm trying to keep still throughout them so as to not encourage them (especially as I want a pool birth & I'm not yet 37 weeks - having said that, my dates put me 3 days ahead of theirs, which would put me at 36+6, instead of my official 36+3, not that they'd care).

What do you think the chances are of things happening if I got up & about to do stuff instead? [curious]

Also, on a related note, I still don't have a birthing ball. I wasn't intending to get one, but am beginning to feel like it may be a wise investment based on how many of you have them! How are they supposed to help? I know about encouraging the baby into the right position, but is that about it?

Juw - the same applies with hair if you have bleached hair thats a bit l'orangey/ yellowy you pop indigo/blue on it to knock out the yellow/orange. your timing has to be spot on though otherwise it goes grey and is a bugger to get out

Now, have just got some peppermint tea, as I thought that this might help with the heartburn. However, now I think about it, seem to recall peppermint is one of the things which lowers tone of oesophageal sphincter, and will therefore make it worse! I will experiment.

Aww springy ((hugs)) xx

Springy - the balls are also just quite comfy to sit on, and have a gentle bounce, though I get backache if I don't make myself sit up quite straight. Also good for leaning on whilst kneeling on the floor in labour (so I'm told). Plus, you can do exercises on it later, when getting back into shape!! hahahahahahahah!!!

I think I'll get one then. Where's everyone got theirs from?

(I'm glad you find the idea of exercising back into shape as laughable as I do )