Due April 2009: Episode 20 - Angst Ridden Fruity Fornication

[SmuttyNuttyTaff]

sorry couldnt help myself

on the last episode of april 2009 mums to be ..........

OddEyes & Babypringle are possibly going into labour Very Exciting!

Kaz & Skiingone - posted birth stories

lots of Fruity Smut, I was caught by the Fruit Fuzz and restrained

Lots more smut.......smutt...smutt

BB & WFH still havent popped (though we now have a birthing ticket system) We have to wait our turn

Boffin's AP causes more greif, beatings were handed out to a soundtrack

More commune talk

Morphine chasers with lots of soundtracks that take you back to the good ol' days

Springy & Suprise have gone to Brum for the weekend.

contractions/BH's/ movement/ailments aplenty

sorry if i have missed anything out ....

hello!

trying to catch up (again!)

so i'll just comment as I go...

re: balls... DH does like a slap now and then during sex or HJs. but as i learned early on in our relationship....it is NOT acceptable to play the bongos on your OH's testicles when not involved in sex/foreplay!
actually, i'm not big on BJs but a HJ accompanied by a bit of ball tonguing does the trick I find...all the fun without the mess! have I officially been accepted into the smutty april mums club now?

I'm so glad to hear that you first timers have messy houses as well! i just can't be bothered right now. and i'd be mortified if my MIL came to clean!

haven't even finished yesterday.. but DS is hungry so we're going to the cafe for scones!

be back later!

Don't live in the UK unfortunately so probably can't ring the NCT (or maybe I could try?). Hopefully they have something similar here.

Ah, yes, sorry Kali - I always forget who is where! Don't see why you couldn't try though!

'you will be able to look good on the post-birth photos with a bit of luck'

Haha, now I will have 'respek' for anyone who can maintained the 'just stepped out of the salon' look through the whole of their labour

?

What are HJs? Is my poor DH missing out on something?

I would hate my MIL to come and clean too. We have very different priorities on that front. She vacuums her wooden kitchen floor at least once a day but seldom washes her hands.

It's quite hard sometimes when you see doctors in a different country because you never know what other options you have, especially since things are approached in different ways in different places e.g. what tests are routine/common. Maybe having an xray is quite common here if there's a question mark over your pelvis, even if it's a very uncommon thing to have actual problems with. Difficult to know (though I would have thought that xrays wouldn't be a routine thing during pregnancy?). My DH was quite about me having an xray (he works with radiation/imaging machines) but apparently it's a very low dose xray that gives you the same amount of radiation as a few days worth of natural exposure. Also, the doctor said it won't affect the baby since it's full-term. Any radiation isn't great, but if there's even a small chance that the baby won't fit through my pelvis, I think it's worth it. DH still isn't so sure...

Hand Job Lulu.

Wow what a busy evening / morning - am going to have to cut down on my DH time if I am going to maintain keeping up with you lot!

LOL at the thread last night - am actually quite glad I wasn't on as DH would be mortified if he looked over my shoulder to that discussion! - PUZZLE and seeing you in a whole new light tee hee

Nutty good luck this morning

Boffin are you going for the prize of most eventful pregnancy????

Kali, I think just wait and see what they say before getting too worried, might all be fine!

Is such a lovely day and am gutted I am working but hope it stays like this all weekend as DH is off and it will be really nice to spend the weekend outside!!

Busy morning so far, sent DH off for work, popped to tesco to pick up some bits, did a bit of work, made a big lasagne for DHs lunches for the rest of the week, cleaned kitchen and then back to work - have lots to do today so will try and keep up!!

brettgirl - have you not maintained that throughout your whole pregnancy???!!!! don't know about you lot but I have never once sat there with greasy hair, PJs (vomit stained) and spotty skin - this pregnancy has been on positive glow from me yeah right!!!

Frekkles I think you have this mum thing down already!!

More catching up...

LuLu your mum sounds like mine, who has vintage tinned peaches from around 1978 in her cellar! I ALWAYS check the use by dates before I eat anything from her fridge. Also MIL is the same... DH claims she once tried to feed him 10 year old chicken kievs from the freezer. Which is why I am not so keen on DD spending a weekend with my ILs...

Mumblemum did you manage to get any medicine down DD? I have had to force Calpol/antibiotics on mine in the past but now she loves the stuff and even asks for more. And I wouldn't go anywhere near suppositories... I was given them all the time as a child as that's standard in Germany rather than using liquid paracetamol, and I swear it has left a mental scar. It's so undignified. They also always take your temperature rectally.

Ah LuLu, I see you're with me on that one...

Hmmm the pegging... I could quite fancy that but DH would never agree!

{shock] not sure I should have made the effort to catch up

and to think Puzzle looks so sweet and pure

Kali - I thought the size of the baby isn't what's important, it's their head circumference? I have one friend whose baby turned out to be too big for her but think it's very rare no?

Right this is so unfair, it has taken me 2 hours to catch up and now I must go and do some useful stuff and when I come back there will be another billion posts to read! Booooooo!

Have fun

Happy St Patrick's Day everyone!! Slainte!!

Not feeling great today, have a terrible cold, typical when I feel I should be doing lots of green things with dd and ds.
DD went to school with Leprechaun tattoos thi morning and was so proud, really sweet.

Have not had a chance to look at most messages but
Mumble: agree with someone else who said about pinching nose etc. The only way I can get ds(2 1/4yrs) to have calpol/nurofen is by squeezing his cheeks so hard and squirting the syringe into the back of his mouth while he is on the bed and hold his neck up slightly after the squirt so he has to swallow. I feel horrible doing it as he is usually screaming every time. But we have loads of cuddles afterwards and I think to myself that it to make him better in the long run and hopefully will be able to rationalise with him more in the future.

oh my days, i shouldn't have looked at the you tube plug - i feel really sick!
but yes ofthat consistency but in SMALLER bits - ewwwwh!

LOL @ 'vintage' peaches Schulte. You are definitely in PR putting a positive spin on the ancient fruit. Ha ha ha.

And thanks for clarifying Ju - my mind is obviously too clean to get that first thing in the morning. Think DH is OK on that front.

I am nowhwere near prepared to go to the seaside. Looking around me at the things that need to be done I really can't. I think a trip to Tescos to stock up on more laundry powder might be my outing for the day. The cat has had another vomiting, pissing, crapping spree leaving me with above average levels of cleaning and washing and ironing to get through. He really is an A-grade bastard.

Shame. Hopefully the weather will stay lovely and I can take DD to see the sea later on in the week.

Lulu - Thought it was probably okay !

Have just been out to shop, feeling like proper yummy mummy (to be) with a bit of above knee leg showing, strolling around with my basket buying bunches of herbs and the like. Then I came home and was brought right back down to earth by the fact that whole of downstairs appears to have become one of the circles of hell.

Anyway. Got my milk, so I can have a cup of tea (though I did forget to put any water in the kettle initially), got smoked haddock for making a fish pie, some leeks for making some kind of flan thing, and various other bits for additional baking. Oh, and some virtual cheese.

And as DH is playing poker tonight, I suppose I'd better be the one to do some tidying, before it starts to smell like a circle of hell as well! Wonder if I can convince him to take a day off to take me to the seaside?

Schulte - I thought so too. I also read in the pregnancy book I have that it's quite rare for women not to be able to give birth to the baby they brew! According to the doctor I saw it's more to do with the size and shape of my pelvis rather than the baby being big (though I'm sure they aren't that accurate in estimating size anyway). She said that it could either be that my pelvis is a strange shape at the top or that I'm not producing enough relaxin to allow my pelvis to separate properly (or my body isn't reacting to the relaxin properly). She was really pushing on it (was pretty sore!) and it wouldn't budge. I'm really hoping that it's just the doctor being overly cautious. My pelvis has been crunching like mad recently, so I thought my relaxin levels were ok . Hopefully it'll all come to nothing and I can get on with a natural birth.

(BTW the doctor was a bit weird! When my DH asked/questioned what she was going on about she shouted "your baby is big and your wife is small!!!" then showed him a ruler with 10cm on it and said "does that look big enough for your baby's head?") ....think maybe the doctor is a bit of a headcase actually. Need a second opinion!!

Dh was very !!

Purple - Yes I think you have earned your smutty stripes.

BB - Any chance of you taking a break before you go into labour? Or are you hoping the activity will kick things off?

Bronze / BB - I honestly was whiter than white before I was with DH. There is something about that man that brings out my inner hooker.

Schulte - Enjoy your lunch, sounds lovely.

Puzzle - Your DH could make millions if he could sell that secret (not how to bring out your inner hooker, obv , was thinking a little more generally )

Morning all! I have actually found some rare time to post as I had a midwife appointment this morning and hubby has gone to hospital this am on his own as he has to work this pm.

I have decided to drive as of tomorrow so there will be no stopping me!

I have been reading the past few days but run out of time when it comes to posting!

Have been pmsl at at all the pegging discussions (when it comes to me all term I can best think of is sqaure peg in round hole!)i.e not happening lol.

I like all the birthing ball bouncing although I think everyone should buy a spacehopper instead (looks like more fun)

Glad you weren't suggesting my husband put me on a street corner.

Oh Kaz you missed the discussion about spacehoppers and the added benefits of their appendages.

Lol at the thought of puzzle DH 'pimping her out'

Ahh damn, was it something along the lines of the ribbed handle?!

lol i turn up and everyone disappears!