Due April 2009: Episode 17 - We're off of work and ready to push, time for DH's to attend to that bush!!

[BabyBolat]

Inspired by our Smutty x

Good monday it is then lol xx

I'll phone on Monday morning & see what I can do, but shan't throw my toys out of the pram if they can't fit me in as I do have the Tuesday appointment anyway.

DH is doing my head in. I just had a really vivid picture of squirting my Palmer's massage cream straight into his eyes

Speaking of which, I shot myself in the eye with colostrum last night

did it sting??

Shouldn't do. BM is often used for gunky eyes

doc is better than the mw for this kinda thing tbh sweet x

oohhh did it soothe and make your eyes all bright and awake?

No, it didn't. It was just really unexpected & quite funny. & fine! I'll go to the GP!

Atta girl, you know it makes sense

There wasn't that much of it I was in the shower, just squeezing them & admiring the pretty golden liquid. As you do. & I squeezed a bit hard & it all shot out & hit me in the eye

I wish I had never started this. I wish I could go back to before.

lol norks should come with a warninig

Ginger - whats wrong? what did you start? you ok?

I wish I wasn't pregnant.

i'm with you today sarah. if it was possible to go back without anyone getting hurt. including this wriggly baby in my belly. had a bit of a crying day today.

need to unpack but feel a bit overwhelmed. need to make a home for me but can't seem to do it. feel a bit in shock. john's in glasgow tonight at a friend's party. I tried to hint that I'd like him not to go, but he doesn't get it. i could have gone to (could still go) but i feel so unsettled and tired and emotional.

not a party girl anymore. feel so lonely and low

and bored of finding things difficult.

read something earlier.

?Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness.?

need to make myself unpack more tonight.

Frekkles, how are you settling in? (apart from needing to unpack)

I feel very lost too. Really sad and lonely. And such a failure.

It's just one of those days, girls. What's happened to upset you, Ginger?

frekkles, it's time to stop expecting him to get hints - men are generally rubbish at it. It wouldn't have been unreasonable for you to ask him to stay with you given that you've just moved in together & you're down & have a lot to do. It depends how you phrase it, really. Get yourself a nice takeaway or something tonight, at least - have a little while looking after yourself & not worrying about cooking or whatever.

Ginger & Frekkles ((hugs)) xx

GInger - you are NOT a failure AT ALL!! lets get that clear, you are having a hard time and its horrible, you have'nt failed anything you are doing your best (which is all that any of us can do) this WILL end. and soon (thank god lol). you are not alone you have all of us crazy preggy people rooting for you xx

Frekkles- hints really dont work you really do have to just say what you mean sweetheart, men are simple folk xx

Frekkles - i'm not a party girl at the moment either hunny, but believe me when i say that i will be painting the town rainbow coloured post baby!! and the added bonus is we can all do it together. try to hold on to that.

we have all got through 7/8 months of our pregnancies. Babies are arriving now!!! the finish line is right in front of us!!! dont give up now xxx

It really is a matter of weeks now girls not months!! come on think of all the margaritas we can sip when we meet up as well as all the rudeness and giggling like idiots in the corner of some bar

Feeling so trapped. Ugly, stupid, bored and boring, slow, useless.

The weekends are worse than the weeks. I look forward to them out of habit but I just feel worse when I am so useless when P is around.
I can't remember the last time he seemed to like me*. He keeps saying: what do you want to do today, and I can't answer because I can't do anything, and then eventually I ask him to do something fukcing tediously shite and domestic that I would do if I could walk and he looks all disappointed and resentful and says vaguely yes and never does it and then monday comes.
*(actually I can - he said something nice to me a few weeks ago, I pathetically remember it)

big hugs sarah x nice to not feel alone. i know what you mean about feeling a failure, i am ashamed at how difficult i've found this pregnancy emotionally, it's not the person i am. i don't think i like myself very much anymore.

i just don't feel at home. i feel like a cat hiding under a chair, putting a foot out every now and again

thanks springy and nutty. you're always so kind. i'm sorry for being so rubbish x

(((((((((((((((((((((((sarah)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Sorry about all this. It just feels so relentless at the moment.
thank you for the pep talk! Very helpful and very much needed.