Due April 2009 - Tralalaboomdiay, our bumps grow every day!!

[BabyBolat]

Place your bets on how long this thread will last, my guess is two weeks!!

Claireykitten, I didn't get a SINGLE comment on the size of my bump from the ILs at Christmas - they just take it for granted when last time they made such a fuss! And my bump is quite a bit more prominent than it should be probably because I have already put on 3 stone - am I setting myself up for trouble?

Schulte- perhaps they are being super polite? I mean this in the most gentle, sincere way possible...If you're conscious of the weight you've put on then they will be too and may not want to make comments which may hurt or offend?

When I moved over here I weighed 10stone, but gained 3 in the course of about 6 months because I was depressed and anxious and stressed about leaving home/family. No one said a word about it; I think the British are extremely polite about such things and that that may be why no one made a comment.

(and is it possible you've been making discouraging comments about yourself while with them- even in a 'joking' way? People pick up on such things too and don't often know what to say)

And we're always more sensitive about our own size shape and weight then anyone else as DH is always pointing out to me when I start forwning at myself in the mirror. So there may be more at 'play' than just the pregnancy...

Clairey / Shulte - This is my first time so can't speak from experience but I would be really annoyed if people didn't give the same as the first one. In terms of actual bump attention, I can kind of understand that as the first I think is a kind of novelty (especially if it was the first family pregnancy or something!)

But in terms of the first outfit or pram, I think that is only fair as they should be treated the same and those kind of things do make the difference!

Bleuravin, never thought of my in laws as being particularly polite - shouldn't they be telling me how great I look if they were?

Anyway I confessed to my midwife about my ridiculous weight gain when I last saw her and she looked at me and said, you look fine, just keep eating. Oooops?

Nutty, so glad you're feeling better! She really does sound like the MIL from hell. My first MIL couldn't stand me either but she never said so until ex DH and I actually split up. But it WAS mutual...

hi everyone - clairey i'm the same - feel guilty for ds incase he gets less attention but at the same time, i want him to have a brother or sister for when they are slightly older, so that usually makes me feel better. and similar to bleuravin - with my nieces and nephews, although the first got more attention to being with, they are all now at the same level and its fine.

nutty - think our mils went to the same mil school. even dh mentioned recently that she is sounding like ds is hers (sorry if i have said this already) and that was without me saying anything cause sometimes i feel like all i ever say to him abut her is negative which is maybe unfair for him, but at least he notices too now.

boffin - i am that tubby mummy in her dungarees - know they are probably a bit naff but i got them near the end of last pregnancy, and by the very end, they plus one stretchy dress were all i could fit into - and they are soooo comfy - have got them out quite early this time and just wear a top over the top ifswim to disguise the dungaree look.

missed your last post nutty while i was typing - i really could have written that about my own mil - i really really dislike her - at least with us, the others in the family think similarly - my bil's girlfriend nearly broke up with him over it, and took a long time to decide about getting married becuase of his parents, but since they live abroad, they dont have to see them very often - i know that maybe sounds melodramatic, but really she is horrible to dils.

i am the same as you - dont want to rock the boat as she is ds's granny, and she has him at the moment one day a week, so we owe her really, but why she cant just pretend to like us i dont know - even just be polite since she clearly doesnt like me, rather than constantly trying to score points.

Hi there - can I be added to the list please? I'm due on 6th April and have a dd of 22 months.

I'm also worried about coping with two, partly because I'm so knackered - so I tell myself that once I'm not pregnant - I'll have loads more energy!!! (might be true??)

But that's not factoring in the broken nights and fewer naps than first time round... oh dear!

Mind you having spent part of Christmas with two five year olds (one of whom is big brother and adorably kind and good-natured) and the other of which is only child and selfish as all hell, I am pleased dd will have a sibling - its character-building!

OMG - I actually can't believe your MILs - I am very lucky with mine being in a different country and speaking a different language as when we see them they are so happy to spend time with us they are lovely. I think at times they think I am a bit of a mardy cow but then I am very different to a traditional turkish wife so suppose it will take a while for them to get used to my western ways!!

But that is unbelievable - how can she say that about her son's wife! And as for being a bad mother - I have only known you a few short months and your DD sounds wonderful, wonderfully well behaved, grounded and a perfectly healthy young girl - so clearly you are a great mother!! Stupid woman doesn't really know what she is talking about!! I think all of you with MIL issues are fantastic to put your DC's feelings first I would be so tempted to refuse to let them see them!

Hey mummyontherun! Have added you xxx

Mar
25 Mar : Jumbs: DS 15 months
28 Mar : AlexandraPeppernose: DC no 3
29 Mar : Gemzooks: DS 1.9 then 2 m/cs, age 32, live in Holland
29 Mar : WhatFreshHell, DS 2.4 born on Easter Sunday
30 Mar : BabyBolat: 1st timer
31 Mar : Cosmogirl: 1st timer

Apr
01 Apr : Rachelinscotland: DD 2 years 10 months, and DS 18 months
01 Apr : Chickenbalti: DS 4 years DD 17 months
02 Apr : BoffinMum: BOY! dd(21) ds(10) ds(7)
02 Apr : MathsMummy27: GIRL! DD 3 years
03 Apr : skiingone: DC1
03 Apr : nzbabies: DS 21 months
03 Apr : purlease: 1 m/c, 1 DD 3 years
03 Apr : Kalikaroo: SURPRISE! (28), 1st timer, lives in Scandinavia (but too shy to say where!)
04 Apr : mizzannie: first timer
04 Apr : Bleuravin
04 Apr : Bumpalump: DS 2.2
04 Apr : babypringle: 1 DS 2yrs 1 month
06 Apr : ToastnHoney: first timer
06 Apr : Diddle: DS1 2yrs, DS2 10months 2mc's
06 Apr : PintofStella: DS 5.4
06 Apr : Mummyontherun DD 22 months
07 Apr : Bethdivine: DS 18mo
08 Apr : LuLuBai: 1 DD born 02 Apr 07
08 Apr : Pinkdolly: (age 27) dd 6, dd 5, dd 2, 1 m/c January 08
09 Apr : Oddeyes (30): GIRL! DS 17 mths, 1 mc. London
09 Apr : Nigeltuffnell
09 Apr : Soundbites(30): DD aged 18 months
09 Apr : Barbarella: 1st timer, TRIPLETS
10 Apr : hopeful1
10 Apr : BinkyB(30): TWINS 1st timer, lives London
11 Apr : BellaMummy
11 Apr : Teeheelaydee
11 Apr : mrsfossil: 1 DS 6.5
11 Apr : Dungungirl(30): BOY! 1 m/c, DS 3.5 years
11 Apr : Bubbaluv: 1 DS 1yo
11 Apr : SpringySunshine: BOY! 1st timer.
12 Apr : daisycat01: DS 6yrs, DS 3yrs
12 Apr : Salstars (34), 1st timer
12 Apr : Brettgirl, 1st timer
13 Apr : April2009Baby:
14 Apr : girlylala0807:
14 Apr : AuldAlliance: DS3.8 BOY!
15 Apr : claireykitten: GIRL! DS 12 months
15 Apr : VixterB: first timer
15 Apr : electra
15 Apr : Sarahmum: DS 10yrs
16 Apr : tristaleejac(25): 1 ds, 3 years
17 Apr : lou031205(28): DD age 2.8, DD age 1
17 Apr : Glaskhamhasoneintheoven: DC3, have one of each already.
18 Apr : mumsoon: DC1 GIRL!
18 Apr : minouminou(37): due April 18-19 (i think). 1 DS, 22 months
18 Apr : salbysea: (28) 1st timer
18 Apr : loobee: DS 22mths
19 Apr : gingersarah: 1st baby
19 Apr : Kittycat8 (29) 1st timer
20 Apr : v1kk1m: BOY! 1DD 5 months
20 Apr : MegBusset: DS 18mo
21 Apr : B52s: DS will be 2 and a quarter
21 Apr : Festivedollyx: DD9yrs DD7yrs GIRL!
21 Apr : Staryeyed
21 Apr : Schulte
23 Apr : chloemegjess
23 Apr : katiepotatie
23 Apr : Reesie : DD 20 months
24 Apr : Surprisenumber3(32): DS1 9 DSS 9 DS2 4
24 Apr : PuzzleRocks: DD 19mths GIRL!
24 Apr : conkertree (26): DS 12 months
24 Apr : Bronze (Gawain) - 4th DC
24 Apr : Frekkles
24 Apr : EsmeWeatherwax (36) DD 17 months
24 Apr : SnoozyVic: first timer and semolina-monster
25 Apr : Swaliswan: DD 17 months
25 Apr : ReallyTired
27 Apr : Bicnod
27 Apr : Carameli
27 Apr : longlegted
27 Apr : SatHereSitting
27 Apr : purplemonkeydishwasher DS 3yo
28 Apr : Laulau27
29 Apr : lauralou1 1st DC
30 Apr : Nutty Taff 2nd DC GIRL!

I have to admit I find the MIL/IL stories rather daunting. I think my MIL was just so happy that her son found someone and that I didn't insist we live in USA that she has kept fairly quiet on most things.
Though having said that her 'enthusiasm'-shall we say about life can be over overwhelming for me sometimes. My own mother is a quiet, non-invasive woman who let each of us grow up pretty much as we would; MIL is a bit more 'hands on' and fussy and manipulates/emotionally blackmails more to get what she wants. Happily DH doesn't like the fuss and gets angry at the manipulations.
I just try to reassure her that I'm not going to steal her sone away from her and that I'm in for the long haul.

That being said...over Christmas she was using 'treats' (or hostages as I saw it) to bribe/coerce kisses and hugs from my nephew and that really got my back up...I had to walk out of the room because I felt it was very wrong- the child obviously did not enjoy the affection, though he did want his toy or a piece of chocolate... I raved about it to poor DH that night in bed and said, 'if she EVER does that to our children I WILL have a word with her!' Though I know I'm too much like my mom really and so I will probably try to quietly solve the problem without ever actually confronting her...

I think that is great tho - if you can get through the MIL from hell you can get through anything!!! At least FIL is nice would be impossible if they were both at you!

Re teenage years - I completely freaked out a couple of weeks ago and was like - there is no way I can look after a teenager (or teenagers) then realised that by the time LO and it's brothers or sisters are teenagers, I will be 40 so will be more than ready!

Mummyontherun - how you finding things, where abouts are you based? do you know what you are having? (we ask a lot of questions, well I do anyway...)

I was saying the same thing about teenagers the other night...I cannot imagine having to deal with one, but babies I'm not worried about. DH laughed and said the same bit about age and then said, 'anyhow I don't mind teenagers, so you just watch after Sprite until she's about 9 or 10 and then I'll take over.'

It's funny isn't it - am really nervous about how I will be with my child and other people - especially in-laws as they have very different approaches to raising children than I do. Going to try and be as relaxed as possible and just try and bite my tongue! I think the best thing for me will be to actually LEAVE the child with them and go away for an hour or so with DH so I am not tempted to say anything!

Ha ha Blueravin, DH were talking about nappies the other day and he said and I quote 'But he (he always calls the baby HE even tho we have no idea what it is) won't need more than four a day'

Four nappies a day! so we agreed that anything over four nappies, he would change (bear in mind Turkish men DO NOT change nappies - although think DH is quite happy that he gets to be more involved!) He has no clue what is about to hit him!! He has since tried to backtrack and say that he meant four poo nappies a day but I am not having any of it!!!

It is funny...I think the same. I keep saying to DH, 'I hope they're not appalled at how nonchalant I am about things.' Like I said Mom raised us quite independently in many ways and MIL and SIL are fussy people and freak out if they're not with in 2 feet of nephew... I'm afraid they're going to think I don't care. But I was raised with the idea that you watch kids to make sure they don't get into any harm, and you feed them and change them, but you let them explore and entertain themselves a great deal of time...
Who knows there might be many blow-ups at MIL's once Sprite is involved and/if she gets posessive or fussy.

changing nappies over 4-lol. When DH and I first married we were talking about kids and diaper changing and I was saying how many they go through and he said 'i've never changed a nappy' to which I started explaining the grossness of some... and how they change as babe gets older. He said he'd still do his fair share. And I replied, 'yes you certainly will,' to which he then puffed up and said he'd do them all...
I made him sign a piece of paper and had it witnessed and dated I've still got it tucked in the book I was reading at the time. I'm going to frame it and give it to him when Sprite is born.
I may even hold him to it...

I know bless him, well he will definitely get some practice in!! - am having a really excited day today - where I can't wait for my LO and changing the nappies and bathing etc (not the crying and sleepless nights!!)

Oh Bleuraven, I am completely the same, if my auntie even hears the kids grizzle she is up like a shot, there is no hoovering or noise to be made when they are sleeping - I should point out they are now 8-11 and cannot sleep with noise and the youngest (who has mild autism) cries when the hoover is on! Mine will be dirty, they will get used to noise (me and DH are quite loud people and providing there is no danger they are more than capable of amusing themselves!)