December 2008 Once you pop you can't stop

[Veggiemummy]

surely most of us will go on this one

Huge Congratulations to all those with new babies!

Rosmerta, feb, kmp traceface, kayz, babblington hiccy and veggie. Hope I haven't missed anyone.

Sorry to be rushed - we have decided to add to our stress at 39 weeks by offering on a house in a nearby village! So are running around trying to sort out schools/catchment areas and surveys.

No sign of anything happening with the babe, i reckon odds on for christmas day baby!

Abbey good luck for today. Huge hugs to everyone else, I'm sure I've missed lots of news.

I have a sling but not got round to using it yet. Still looks complicated, so I must get round to watching the DVD.

I'll try putting him on his side. Sounds like a good idea as he is normally on his side when I feed him. MIL told me to put him on his front. I have just tried to swaddle him but failed. But he is asleep in his basket!! His legs are still in it but he has got his arms free.

I am having another huge crisis though and could do with some help. It is very long and might not make sense. I cried for ages last night about it while feeding DS2 and he got soaked

I feel like I am missing DS1. It feels like I spend all day with DS2 on my lap. He is either feeding or he is asleep on me because he won't go to sleep in his moses basket.
I'm beginning to think it was far to early to have another, don't get me wrong I love DS2 and already can't remember what life was like without him. But I think that it's very unfair on DS1 because he had no idea what was happening. He is only 20 months old and I think if he was about 2 and 1/2 to 3 he would have understood what was about to happen.

The MW said its very normal to feel like this around days 3-5. But I can't help thinking that DS1 doesn't like me and that he resents the fact that I don't have time for him at the minute.

I think that it has something to do with BF. I can't help thinking that if DS2 was FF things might be easier. For example DH could feed DS2 while I played with DS1, gave him a bath or just spent some time with him.

The MW also said that when my milk comes in things should get better as DS2 will hopefully go in his moses basket. She has told me to start expressing in between feeds to help my milk come in faster and also DH will be able to give DS2 some EBM.

We've said we'll wait until the end of the week and see how I feel. If I still feel down and upset about it I might stop BF and FF but I'm not too keen on doing that. DH is happy for me to BF or FF. He said I shouldn't worry or care about what other people(like MIL) say or think if we do FF.

Oh and DS2 was 10lb 5oz when he was born on Friday. He is now 9lb 6oz so that has really upset me too as she said he was on the cusp of what he could lose and she was a bit worried.

I feel a tiny bit better this morning because we got some sleep last night, but I still feel like I'm struggling to have time to do things with DS1.

Thanks.

Ha! Nothing like a child to show you up. Just as I pressed post DS1 came and sat with me.

Hi all, congratulations veggie, sounds like an amazing birth

I've been having a rough few days so have been lurking more than posting.

kayz your post was really interesting as its very similar to what we've been going through. I can't help feeling that ds1 is missing out a lot even though dh is around. He's really good with ds2 but is acting up in other ways. I'm going to try & take ds1 out on my own this afternoon so that we have some time to ourselves.

Plus we're now ff. Mw came on Sunday & ds2 had lost over 12% of his weight which she said was too much. His bf was really erratic, he'd either feed for 30mins or 5mins but he'd go hours between feeds no matter how much I tried to get him to latch on or which position I'd try. I had exactly the same problems with ds1 and struggled for weeks trying to establish bf. I decided I couldn't cope with that again so we've just moved onto ff. I do feel like I've let ds2 down though and feel disappointed in myself. I am expressing once a day & he's getting that at least. But still, my hormones won't let me come to terms with it all so am crying on average about once a day over the feeding & ds1.

I'm sorry for the me post. Good luck to everyone due this week!

Rosmerta I am so sorry you are going through tough times.
BF here is pretty irratic too. He fed for a hour last night and I thought that we had cracked it, but then this morning it was back to 10 minutes of feeding then 20 minutes of on and off and crying.

rosmerta and kayz i can honestly say i felt the same way when my ds2 was born as there were only 14 months between ds1 and ds2. Luckily i did have dd1 who was 6 at that point so more able to cope and alot of family support but it didnt stop breast feeding being really really difficult (i only lasted 5 weeks) and it didnt stop me feeling guilty about the lack of baby time id given to ds1. But do you know what, although they may try and climb all over you when your feeding and then ignore you when your hands are free to give them attention, they will instinctively adore their little brother or sister. And once you can get them more involved with baby, like 6 weeks when the smiles come in, life should become easier. Although its not really the right time of year for it i did find mother and toddler groups an absolute godsend as well. Your older child will make friends and get some good stimulation, you get adult company and your house stays tidy while you are not in it!!

abbey i really hope you get to meet your baby today xxx
trace sounds so painful, cant offer any constructive advise but lots of hugs xxx
orange you poor thing, i know you probably dont feel up to it but have you tried natural iduction (sex)? lots of hugs too xxx

Am back from my 3rd sweep. I got 2 for the price of 1 as a student doctor went first (but was way too gentle). The consutlatnt gave rather mixed messages - at first she sounded very optimistic saying my cervix was soft and forward and she could feel my membrames bulging (and even thought they would break while she swept), but then she finished by saying she expected that the baby will hang on for Saturday's induction . I feel quite deflated as I really hoped one more sweep might do it. DH says to relax and enjoy the next few days with no expectation that things might kick-off, but its hard as I so want to meet my baby now.

Also how can she think that I won't go into spontaneous labour when I am 2cm dilated and only 0.5 cm long??? Are there not girls on here who had tightly shut cervix's and still went into labout within hours of that measurement??? Please tell me there are!

Big hugs to Kayz and Rosmerta and your BF struggles. Kayz try not to worry about the weight loss. Big babies can afford to drop a bit more, DD certainly did. And try not to worry about DS1, everyone I know has sobbed for their first borns on day 3-4. My MiL said she beleived she had ruined her DD's life by having her DS, then by day 10 all was fine.

hi everyone, not posted in ages, sorry!!

Sorry to everyone having a tough time.

Orange that sounds really rubbish, I really hope things get properly moving before Friday and that midwife is wrong!!

Naughty LadyT weighing yourself . You will lose it don't worry!! And we all know you are a glam lady anyway...

Veggie and Trace thanks for the birth stories!! Trace I hope you heal soon, sounds painful. And veggie thanks for the labour tips I may just try and put them to use if I am remotely with it enough to remember, in fact maybe should tell DH them so he can try and remind me.

I'm with all of you on enjoying maternity leave. I'm trying to keep enjoying it although I am getting to the stage that I do want him to arrive (due on Thurs). Not much progress though, one or two more BHs and one painful one, that I obviously got all excited about and then didn't happen again. Also more uncomfortable lower down so hopefully he is moving down as well.

rosmerta and kayz can't really help with personal experience of the 2 baby thing, but all i know is there is 18 months between me and my younger brother, and ever since I can remember I have thought he was ace. We are still really close, and I think it's a great sort of age gap to have. And apparently I did play up when he was first born too, but I'm too young to remember that. Obviously this probably won't help now, but in the long term i am sure it will be great for both of them! Sorry to hear about the bfing troubles too, am really no help on that so won't say owt apart from lots of sympathy and rosmerta I wouldn't feel guilty about moving over to ff.

abbey sorry about yesterday but hopefully by the time you read this you will have your little baby!

Poor emma, hope you get some sleep soon.

Off out for lunch with a friend now, then to see my best mate round the corner and her new baby. I am soooo excited. She looks just like her dad in the photos, so cute!!

Kayz: I'm worrying about bfing DS2 with DS arond as well, am hoping that reading stories and bribing with choc where necessary will help us through. Is there something you can do together while you bf? I'm not sure there is an ideal age gap, DS is 2 but that means he is better at expressing his displeasure and can ratchet up the tantrums if needed! I think the idea of giving it X days then reconsidering is a good one. With DS I'd think 'try another few days then see' and at the end of the few days I was happy to try for a few more... the early weeks are hard but if you can get through them it gets SO much easier.

just a quick check in, we've got the inlaws here (joy of joys ) but just to say I fully agree with veggie about the blowing raspberries, Ina May says it helps relax all your sphincters (!) and I was doing it obsessively for virtually 2 hours - probably spat all over poor DH but it gave me swomething to think about during the contractions and especially helpful as she was starting to come down in the pushing stage. Raspberries rock!

Good luck to everyone who's still waiting, especially people who are a bit disheartened. You'll be meeting your babies very soon!

Hi ladies! I'm still here too waiting for my overdue bub to arrive (thanks for missing me Turnip )

OrangeCrush I've actually only made 1 nappy thus far as we're going to use bamboo prefolds to start off with. And then of course I may be too lazy by the time he grows out of them, and will just buy commercial ones! But I only know how to make them because they had a sewing class here for 'reuseable nappy week' where they showed us how to do it. It is a bit time consuming though, so we shall see if I ever get around to making more. The liner for your change mat sounds lovely, I'm sure buborange will appreciate not being on plastic! And Indith... I may be able to sew but I am rubbish at lots of other things (and this will probably include being a good mother... just as well DH is the natural parenting-type!)

ZJ how did your growth check go yesterday? I've been thinking about you, and hoping all is ok. As others have already said, fundal height measurements can be unreliable - mine has gone up then down each week in the past 4 weeks, it just depends on which midwife measures me!

abbymeg hope you have a better time at the hospital, today and all best wishes!

veggie and * I would assume pixsix is just being a busy mummy - I checked her other posts and she was worried a bit about cluster feeding but hopefully has some reassurance by now. But speaking of MIA - are you still with us Nolda? Any more action with the contractions? I think tomorrow is your induction anyway, so hopefully you'll be holding that bub soon (if not already!)

JJ I'm so sorry you're not getting the support you need from DH - no wonder you're feeling tired and frustrated. Hope he can get the diabetes situation sorted out, and that things will get better soon for you both xx

mibbes woo for mibblebub! That's really well done, you should be very proud of your hard work re-establishing BF

katie how did you go last night with the feeding? Wish I could offer help/advice of course but I've got no idea as a newbie myself. Just sending lots of vibes to you.

Can't wait to hear about GBBs twinnies, she must have had them by now!

Verso I'm so sorry you're having a rough time with DH and his lack of help/health condition too. No one would blame you at all for feeling resentful, and it must be doubly compounded by lack of sleep, BF difficulties, etc. In a way it's like you've got 3 dependents ATM. Sending big to you, can you get some outside help to make things a bit easier?

LadyT I could not imagine you looking the slightest like Monserrat Caballe (!) I have about a million pairs of those support knickers/suck you in garments, and wore them at every opportunity pre-pregnancy, so I'm sure I'll be straight back into em post bub! It's good to actually try on a few different styles if you can as they are all quite different shapes and some work better than others. I've even found combining a couple can work really well depending on what you want to shape. I really love the look of those special crotchless post preggers one though - I might have to get one of those to add to my collection, as toilet trips in support garment are less than easy, esp if it's a public toilet and you're trying to stop a long dress from dragging on the (inevitably dirty) floor! LOL

SL I must confess I did laugh at your DH's comment, how terrible my sense of humor must be. My DH's fav at the moment is "you've got a penis AND a vagina at the moment" which I think is equally as tasteful

veggie I also loved the way you said "Oh I used a bit of g&a" after your birth announcement, so funny! Your story was actually very inspiring, I'm hoping perhaps next time round I may be feeling more confidant to have a HB (next time?? You can tell I haven't got any DC's/been in labour yet can't you!? )

And kayz a proper congrats for you too, well done with the HB as well, I'm so glad you got to have it in the end. Have you got a NB chrissy outfit for this one yet? You'll need one that matches the cute pic you have of DS1 on your profile

arti ROFL @ yr DH with the superglue. Dare I asked what the superglue was for in conjunction with the lights?!? Are they permanently stuck to the tree now then? Sorry for laughing, it's just so funny! Glad you managed to detatch him from the ladder in the end (hope you got a pic for posterity though?)

waitinggirl - how do we contact the magic tax fairy who does your taxes for you while you sleep? I still have a UK return overdue I have also been feeling not ready for DS to make his appearance, for me partly because I know things are going to change so drastically and that scares me a little. I'm sorry you don't have your mum with you at this time, but I'm glad your dad's new lady friend seems to be thoughtful and supportive of your needs. But as to your MIL though, well - we'll just have to add her remarks to the 'insensitive MIL comments' sweepstake that is fast becoming a hotly contested competition!

majormoo and arti feeling for you both with looming inductions. I'm worried about that myself, although I'm only 5 days over so still might have a while to wait. Hurry up babies!

reban you poor bugger, what a weekend! I think you are definitely due some good luck now...

Turnip how CUUUUUTE your DD is debuting as a cloud (any minute now!) Can we have a picture please?

Orange I'm sorry you're still waiting too, must be so frustrating having pains but not being in established labour. My mum today said that even with her 4th child she wasn't 100% sure when it was established labour (and she is now a midwife!) so it must be really hard when your uterus is telling you one thing but your cervix another. Gah. Hope things get going for you soon.

Sorry for the huge post, I really should do it more often so that I don't miss so much in between messages! I've probably missed heaps too whilst writing this so I'll have even more to catch up with.

Oh and hatty - I'll take your prediction of a Christmas baby and race you to it! They probably won't induce me till just after so it's a possibility. I wonder if we'll get many bubs on Christmas day? DH says if he's born then we'll have to call him 'Nick'

Hello. I just came in to wish you all luck - 3 years ago yesterday I was due with dd1, and went in to be induced on Christmas Day...so I was thinking of all the December ladies...and hoping you have more luck at being on time than I did

And just on 'me' news for today:

I had a thought tonight. I've been thinking about getting a moses basket for the early weeks so I can keep babybisou nearby when around the house rather than having to constantly go into the nursery, but not sure if I want to spend the $$$ to buy one if I may not use it all that much. So then I was thinking... well, we could just buy a washing basket trolley (which I've been meaning to buy for a while now) and I'll get a piece of foam cut for a washing basket! Then if I don't use it as a moses basket it doesn't matter as I'll use both as laundry aids anyway. I found this pic on ebay to show y'all what I mean. I'd use a new basket & trolley though, you can get them from the big hardware stores here. I'm going to send DH out tomorrow to get one for me, what do you think?

Ok girls think it might be my turn today either that or I have really bad wind.

Have been having pretty regular pain right under my bump thought I needed a poo but it has continued have called DP home form work just in case as it takes him about an hour and 45 to get home DS is asleep but will wake up soon so guess its cbeebies for him. Whats the betting he gets home form work and everything stops.

Jam how exciting! Keep us posted.

Bisou you're on! Lets see if our little "holly" can beat your "nick" (oh dear I feel like the voiceover on blind date ). Dee da, dee da, dee da dee da dee da...

Oh Jam hope it's the real thing for you. I thought I was going into labour yesterday but it was just really really bad trapped wind.

Same here re DD1... I miss her too. Doesn't help that if we want her to have a few hours at nursery then DH has to drop her off at the crack of dawn because I can't drive at the moment - which then means I feel guilty she's not here and that she's had a long day .

Just want to add that I agree that breastfeeding is bl*dy difficult. About 11pm last night when I'd had DD2 attached to my boob for about three hours off and on, I announced to DH that I was going to switch to formula so he could do some of the bl*dy night feeds. He wasn't best pleased - especially as my rant woke him up . In a few weeks' or months' time, it will be completely irrelevant which way they got their infant milk - but it's amazing how much of a hard time we give ourselves about it. I kind-of wish I was brave enough to make the decision to switch to formula, if that makes sense...

Thing is, my dilemma is that the BF is evidently going well - despite (because of?) the marathon feeds. DD2 has gained another six ounces (apparently) since Friday! Not sure I quite believe that, but it means she's now finally past her birth weight. >small cheer<

We won't get the results of the blood and urine tests until (possibly) Thursday or (possibly) Monday - so no idea as yet what they're going to say re the cause of the jaundice. She's still yellow - but nowhere near as bad as she was.

P.S. Bisou I really shouldn't be complaining - I've had a doula here for three hours a morning this week - invaluable (eg she gave me a lift to the hospital this am) and am also in the process of organising a night nanny to do one precious night a week for me (she has flu at the moment though). Sounds hopelessly self-indulgent I know, but I fell apart with DD1 because I had NO sleep and NO help for MONTHS, so was determined not to let that happen again.

DH will be on school holidays for the next two weeks so I hope he helps out then!

(I actually kind-of thought that booking paid help might make Mum and DH think twice about how useful they are being and buck their ideas up... but no, they're quite happy for me to book help as it takes the pressure off them!! Sometimes I SEETHE with resentment - and then other times I remember I'm due a bonus from work in March and make plans for exactly what I'm going to spend it on... shallow shallow shallow )

On the subject of feeding, does anyone know when it's ok to introduce a formula feed? I was thinking it doesn't have to be all-or-nothing and a formula feed might give me a chance of a break...

Fingers crossed that this is it for you JAM. Will keep checking in to see how its going

Verso - do you mean when will introducing a bottle of formula be OK in terms of not affecting your supply? Or were you thinking of the 'virgin gut' debate? I have been reading quite alot about this as I want to make an informed decision about exclusively breastfeeding this time. This thread is interesting.

ooh havent heard that one - will read. I meant in terms of supply

If you have not hear about virgin gut I would not worry about it. As TikTok says on that thread - there is little empirical research behind it. For me the second link about the virgin gut was interesting reading as DD is allergic to cows milk and anaphalaxiz runs in DH's family, however I am still not 100% convinced its necessary, even for an allergic child.

Hi everyone, have settled down to MN and chocolate to try and cheer me up. Rant alert ? has anyone got the maxi cosi car seat with the easy fix base? It is not easy fix, I will tell you, couldn?t get beyond step 1 of fitting it in the car! So tried to assemble the pram and gave up on that at step 3. My latest plan is just to walk everywhere with babyZJ in my arms (including the 20 miles home from hospital) because it will be easier than getting everything assembled! Oh, and the blooming Christmas lights won?t work (unsurprisingly, as it?s their 30th Christmas, but I?m sentimental about them and want them on my tree). Anyway, sorry about this huge post, but I am feeling better for catching up on all your news and having eaten my chocolate, so MN is good therapy.

Kayz ? how?s your side today? I?m keen to get out and about and get fresh air again as soon as I can after LO arrives. How far did you get on your walk? And sorry to hear you?re feeling down, and bless DS1 for knowing just when Mum needs some attention!

Abby ? so sorry you didn?t get to meet your babe on Monday, and surely it?s cruel to keep you where other Mum?s have their new babies and deprive you of food. I hope you got your CS today and you are now cuddling away happily with little Abby.

Reban ? sorry you?re poorly, although I hope your bug is better now and the car is mended too. At least that 3 things out the way (including the parking ticket) all in one day, so your birth should be a doddle now.

Katie ? how did you sleep last night? Did keeping DD awake work? I hope so

Veggie ? great breathing tips, thanks so much (I am now sitting practising blowing raspberries as I type )

Trace ? I love your good and bad lists, next to your good list, all the bad pale in comparison and you sound so very happy overall

Do we have a yummiest mummy category in the sweepstake? Currently my votes would be split between Mibbes getting her nails done and LadyT going to the Ivy [hopelessly impressed farmers wife emoticon with scruffy nails and muddy wellies!]

WG/Effie/SL ? I?m also happy to be in the waiting room a while longer. I have genuinely enjoyed being pregnant (and grateful for my easy time of it) and am going to miss babyZJ squirming around inside me, even though he?ll be squirming around in my arms instead, it?ll be different.

Orange ? sorry to hear your contractions aren?t behaving themselves or doing anything useful yet. There are still several days until Friday, so plenty of time yet for baby to arrive without being induced. Hope your MW appt this afternoon was more useful than the unhelpful lady at the hospital.

Emma ? I?m also getting quite a bit of trapped wind, which makes me feel crampy and sick ? it?s not fun. Have you got a birth ball? I find bouncing on that ?releases? some of the gas

Hatty ? that?s exciting about the house, I hope you get it!

Arti ? sending labour vibes to you following your sweeps (and LOL at 2 for the price of 1!)

Bisou ? I love the washing basket idea!! I was talking to a friend last week who had DD without knowing she was pregnant (first signs were labour, which she and the doctors thought were appendicitis for a while ? it happens in RL as well as the soaps you know!) and she was telling me how her DD slept in a drawer for quite a while, so why not use a washing basket? I would be careful about getting a mattress that is safe and doesn?t pose a cot death risk though. And thanks for thinking of me yesterday, outcome detailed at the bottom of this huge post! And can I add my ?noel? into the ?holly? and ?nick? competition for the Xmas babe?!

Jam ? hope it doesn?t all stop before DP gets home, good luck!

So yesterday I went for my growth check and the Dr measured me and did all the external palpation (is that the right word?) and said the MW was worryingly unnecessarily and baby is just fine ? phew! But because I?ve now been referred to the hospital rather than just the community midwives I now need a scan and a follow up appointment, to keep track, even though in his opinion they aren?t needed. So I made appointments for both, feeling very relieved but a bit of a burden on the NHS, as this week there?s hardly any gaps as everyone wants to be seen before Christmas. So went back this morning for the scan and the sonographer was lovely and explained that the baby is growing just fine, but I haven?t got much fluid, which is why I?m not growing ? but I?ve got enough to keep baby warm and comfy in there. And she measured his head, legs etc and pronounced him ?the most perfectly average baby she?d ever seen? as he?s bang on the 50th centile for everything. What a relief I love having a perfectly average baby! And she printed off a pic of his face (by god, he?s ugly ? let?s hope he?s clever cause he won?t be making a fortune based on his looks!) Hurrah! So a good day for me, despite the car seat/pram/Christmas lights trauma.

Anyway, will go now and hope I haven?t bored you all to death. Looking forward to hearing some more birth announcements soon ? xx

Just checking I'm just lurking really and feeling sorry for Emma with her trapped wind very painful.

Lying around cuddling and being milked by my new man and also watching Cars (again) with my poorly other man.

Also trying to think of a verso style festive name change.

Oh and Trace don't forget the Arnica & Calendula.

thanks for words of encouragement yesterday-despite now having a cold on top of blood and pains following yesterday's attempted sweep-actually feel a bit better. We went out for lunch with DS and went to get DD's Christmas bike so have at least been filling the time.

Good luck Jam.

Trace thanks for the birth story-I hope you start to feel better soon.

Rosmerta don't feel bad about formula feeding. My best friend made herself really miserable trying to continue breastfeeding when she and her baby were really struggling. I am not exaggerating to say she rang me up once crying so hysterically I thought her son had died because she couldn't speak through the tears. She now regrets that she didn't formula feed him and allow herself to enjoy him more in the early weeks.

I am bracing myself for things being difficult with DS when this baby arrives. It was quite easy with my DD as she was older when DS was born and quite enjoyed the novelty of the new baby and all the presents she was bought.

Orange how disappointing to think it was all kicking off and be sent home. Fingers crossed it will all kick off again soon.

Arti, I searched about a million olds threads yesterday about cervixes being ready for labour, and there seem to be plently of women who went quickly into labour after being told their cervix was completely shut (not that I am obsessing about it or anything!!!)

Mibbes not sure about the baby rejecting one boob, but when I mastitus my boob was very red and I felt like I had the flu.

Bisou your moses basket idea sounds very creative and I suppose would be absolutely fine. Not sure of there is anything special about the mattresses the moses baskets have??

Hi to everyone else.