Due in June - Thread 9

[teabelly]

Brand new thread as ordered...

Trib, I'm impressed chocky at that time of the morning ...soooo how do you have yours?? I bite the top off, suck out the filling and save the choc til last, yum!

Redhead and Coop - To reassure you are not nesting early enough..... I already have all of the new baby's clothes washed and folded in his set of drawers. Now is this insane or what?!
I am like you redhead, I was so disorganized the first time that this time I am really starting to panick early. Especially because I am nervous about handling two, and more importantly having DD ready for a baby in the house... I have been convincing her how much of a grown up she is everyday, since I figure I don't want to say that once baby is here...
Teabelly - reassure me that I'll survive two!

yeah, I'm nervous about how it works with two as well. Last time I found it really difficult to get out of the house to do anything...how does that work with two!

Lots of mums have re-assured me that the second one is much easier as you know what to do, and they just have to get with it as the toddler's routine has to be kept to.

I'm still nervous tho! I'm hoping that if I get the house more organised and do superhuman amounts of cooking (yes, I bought a deep freezer for this very purpose, to the raised eyebrows of Dh) it will be easier to handle those first few weeks when I don't know if I'm coming or going....

I'm the same with the worries about managing 2 but hoping I'll be a bit more chilled out with this one. With dd I wouldn't watch any TV and even limited the radio - even worried about reading whilst breastfeeding. I know I read far too many books telling me what to do - looking for answers etc The best 2 quotes in the end for me where 'There's no solution to babies' and 'The only way out is through'!
Cooperoo - no way am I a guru - just believe it helps alot - but I think you're absolultely right about sitting upright - it's basically anything that stretches your back gently.

Morining ladies!!

Uki - my back is often killing me at the moment - I have an old back injury that doesn't help. Doc says it's mainly because of the Relaxin. Lying on my back for any length of time really makes it worse. Maybe we should get a support belt thingy?

Oh Tea - stop telling me about the cute little ways of your ds - He's the cutest little boy I've ever met and mine will seem like a monster in comparison I'm sure Glad it's not just me having difficulty with stairs!

Trib - funny about you dreaming about having an affair - dp had a dream that I was having one with the young mechanic from Emmerdale I told him that's ridiculous. If it had been Cain Dingle now that's a bit more like it... I rmember the fag smoke from our downstairs neighbours in our old flat - it's truly horrible isn't it. Are you not moving before baby arrives after all then?

Welshie - Happy St David's day to you too (who?) Havew you considered putting a low wattage light over the landing? to hear you're not feeling too good x

KVG - good to see you back! I get the occasionaly bad headache too - think they've tailed off a bit now though.... I've put on about 1st 5lbs!!!!

Uwila/KVG blimey - over 10 weeks 'til maternity leave How on earth can you all keep working that long - I know I'd be really struggling now!

Cooperoo - glad you don't have a UTI after all! I'm sure you'll feel better when you can stop carryin DD around. I'll have to get one of those balls!

Lua - wish I had restless legs! I'm sure it must be good for you in terms of excersize and might help with preventing back probs. I'venot yet bought one solitary thing for my baby yet!

Red - does your dh do lists?? Wish mine did. I have one as long as the proverbial! Managed to get him to put a new washer in a tap in the bathroom on Saturday (under close supervision of cours)after it had been leaking for 3 YEARS - of course it caused a row I'd have done it myself, but it's antique and was far too stiff for me and I didn't want to damage it. Good luck with the cellar clearance!

EYM - wow ANOTHER boy! we must have our football team by now! Looks like you're working on your own one though!

hi again

have given up all pretence of working and am chatting instead....I'm hoping to start maternity leave at the end of May, maybe a bit later if I'm feeling enthusiastic. This time I want to work longer as being home with a toddler is much more exhausting than tootling around in work (oh yeah and £££ too). All depends on whether the bump will fit behind the wheel so I can get to work....

No, CP, don't get hopeful it's not possible for a Dh to write lists. I write them and point out what he could do to make them shorter. He looks at me blankly, and makes male re-assuring noises which means he won't ever do it. I find it easier to make the lists and 'facilitate' the work being done.

on the subject of two WM I have to confess to being like you last time. My Dh demanded that I threw away the baby books. I'm hoping that I'll be more chilled (hmm..) but also gonna try and take a bit more time for myself (ha ha). Am pondering going to the local leisure centre and throwing all my dependants in the creche so I can have a swim. At least that's half an hour to myself.

Morning All,

Charley, I find with DH and lists that the best thing to do is only ask for 1 thing at a time. They get confused v. easily, so expecting multi-tasking is way too advanced . Oh, and lots and lots of praise. My DH is currently tiling my kitchen (does that count as nesting?). To be fair, he's doing a fab job of it. I'm really pleased. But I am popping downstairs regularly, to tell him that. I need him to do the walls and the floor before he runs out of impetus....

redhead . I wrote my message before I read yours. I agree entirely....

Hi,

Just thought I'd pop in and let you all know that I am being sickly again! Have never been so ill..... am obviously just a bit of a wet lettuce.

I slept most of the way home on Sunday as my cold just got worse and worse and then was off work yesterday. Am off today as well as I want to make sure I've got rid of it completely.

Having quickly scaned the mails I see a beach day in Wales was suggested! Would be happy to arrange - there's loads of B&Bs down here for £15/night so it could be done!

Am going to have soup and a lie down. See you all later x

Lua...I'm sure you'll do fine with two ...I've been 'practicing' with ds by visiting my friend who had her dd in January...so far so good, ds just lurves the baby...of course she doesn't really cry much, and sleeps almost all the time, and loves being cuddled by him, so god only knows how he'll take it when ours will be at home 24/7, crying, puking, not sleeping...well I don't see why she should be any different to how ds was when he was a newborn!

Ooh ooh yes I'd love to take on the mini egg challenge - to have to eat chocolate for research...couldn't think of a nicer job!

Men and multi tasking...I wasn't aware the two could be used in a positive manner the same sentence, ha ha ha!

Maternity leave...my last day in the office is 4th May...only 9 weeks...but I have a weeks holiday to use before the end of april, and I only do 3 days a week so I'm down to 23 working days, hurrah!!! Now that's just made me a very happy bunny

Scraggy posts crossed...sorry you're feeling so bad ...wrap up warm and eat lots of comfort food til you feel better!

KVG - I might just do that!!

Re life change...only advice is try not to have too many preconceptions about how life will be. Don't panic when in the early days you can only spend all day on the sofa feeding bubba, and getting dressed gives you a sense of achievement! Just accept that this will happen, and anything more is a bonus! Things will fall into place pretty quickly

Hi ladies (and happy St David's day, just remembered i haven't sent my mum her daffodils, will have to find a pic and email it to her).

Periodically panicking about having two here as well, particularly as I really don't think ds is going to react well. He's nearly 4, that is a long time to be an only one, and tbh that is starting to show in his behaviour already, doesn't like sharing not so much things as people, he likes one to one attention and when he's got that he doesn't want anyone else to get involved (this is what my meeting at nursery was about yesterday). So eek for June frankly, when he suddenly has to share (don't think he will care so much about me, but he will hate sharing daddy).

DH and I were talking the other night about how different it's going to be and remembering how when ds was first born, he slept loads in the first two weeks (daytimes only of course!) and dh's paternity leave was actually strangely chilled for both of us. Not expecting that this time, in fact not expecting much in the way of paternity leave now that dh is self-employed (and I have visions of doing his accounts while breastfeeding!

Are we entering the aches and pains zone, do you think, a few of us seem to have backache. I'm getting sort of spasms up and down my back if I've been sat in one position too long. Starting to feel like an old lady!

Amen teabelly! regarding just relax! I think this was the hardest lesson to learn... Sometimes you just have to let them be and relax. My advisor told me that when I was going crazy, and I didn't listen to her.... She said with her first she really ressented the fact that baby didn't behave as it was supposed to. Second time around she just made sure there was a bottle of beer in the fridge for the times when her ds will be unsettled and walk around the house for an hour.... I can see that's what I will be doing this time around!

KVG - try and make your life easy as possible

eg internet shopping
stock up/freeze some easy meals
get some help if you can - cleaner, family, friends - to do house stuff, look after the baby for a bit while you catch up with sleep etc

It's good to be clear about what you want, people really want to help but they don't know what to do. So you could write a list and ask them to shop for you etc

Otherwise, just try to be happy that at the end of the day 'all' you've done is fed/changed the baby and maybe got out for a walk.

I found it really hard to feel like I had done anything, as I was used to working full-time, doing meetings etc. I thought I should be able to clean and cook, interior decorate AND look after a baby. (in my defence I had absolutely no experience of babies....) This time around I'm gonna try to forget all that and just try to relax a bit more.

Scraggy - hope you feel better soon Not nice.

Charley - yes, we are going to move before the baby comes, I just feel a bit resentful sometimes that it feels like we have to move because of the rubbish construction of the (brand new) building.

KVG - totally agree about these second timers wondering how they will cope. What about us?! Mind you, hearing my mum's horror stories of feeding me whilst suffering morning sickness with my little bro makes me wonder how you lot are coping now, never mind then! In terms of lifestyle, I think the change for us will be less severe than for other people as our life is already quite restricted by dh's health, so it's not like we've been used to going out all the time and we have to plan things to be at quite a slow pace so as not to overtire him.

Having said that, I wonder how things will be when his health isn't our main priority any more. I think he'll be okay about it (was v worried in the early days of pregnancy about this as well as everything else) but we've always done all the doctors appointments and stuff together, and he'll have to take more of that responsibility on on his own I think.

With having no job as well, it means the second half of this year is a completely unknown quantity in all ways - rather daunting! But survivable I reckon. Plus I now know the driving route to my middle bro's house, where my SIL will delight in having a baby in the house now that her youngest is 5! Although I reckon sympathy will be in short supply from youngest bro (with the adopted dd) - arrival of a newborn I think does not compare to arrival of an 18-month-old, particuarly since they had to be 'observed' with her for 8 straight hours a day for weeks at the foster parents. I don't want anyone observing me all the time, that's for sure!

Scraggy, sorry you're not feeling well today.

KVG/Trib - thank goodness its not just me who's got the fear of g-d in her about one!! I'm working on the premise that if I get my underwear on and showered every day, then i deserve my blue peter badge....
Beer, mmmm, my sort of solution to problems.....I like that advice.....

Re maternity leave, I'm working until the 13th May, but after today, i'm off for a week and a half (hurrah). Not sure how i'm going to cope until mid may though. My aches and pains are growing daily.......

TB - just a quick post. Have you heard of Home Start?

It's an independant organisation that helps families with under 5s. They have volunteers that will come to your house and help you out. For example if you have hospital appointments, they can come with you so that you can get tests done and someone keep an eye on the kid/s or they'll just come and play with kids whilst you get on with some housework etc. I've heard that it's meant to be good. They should be on the net for local branches.

KVG, my advice would be:

1. Don't listen to anyone else's advice!
2. Remember that if it is hard/horrible it won't last forever.
3. Only plan to do one thing a day. Like get dressed. Have a shower. Something easy, so you can enjoy that feeling of achievement without putting too much pressure on yourself.

If you look under 'site stuff' on here, there is a recent request from the mumsnet team about advice on surviving the first year, and it's very good.

I think I'm trying to pretend number 2 isn't on the way - we haven't done a single thing yet! If I start thinking about it I start panicking. I can't begin to imagine what it's going to be like with 2.

Scraggy, sorry you are feeling so rough. I think lots of comfort food, sleep and crap telly is the best way forward.

I'm impressed with the nesting going on! My DH is on holiday this week and to be fair to him, he's written his own list and is cracking on quite quickly. Typical woman that I am though, would have to say that I'm not THAT fussed if the grouting in the bathroom is cleaned, I'd rather he did some washing and ironing then made my tea. Haven't said this to him though.

here it is

Mrs Wed, your dh cleans the grouting in your bathroom without having to be asked!!!! Wow, I am deeply in awe......

It's not like him, I have to say. No, that's really mean - he is good round the house but he's at home so little these days he doesn't get much chance. He's enjoying pottering I think (without me nagging him!).

MrsW., If your DH runs out of grouting the clean, let him know we have plenty! He is more than welcome to come by .

Can I just say, thanks for that link. My stomach is hurting from laughing....