mana, i am so sorry to hear that the probs with your mum have got worse not better.
i also did not know about your pnd last time round, no wonder you're nervous about next few weeks. i'm sure all will be ok - you got through it then, you'll be strong enough this time too. it's my biggest fear TBH - i was shipped in and out of hospitals a lot in my late teens with awful awful depressive and manic epidodes, but have been better for so long. what i get scared about is just how sudden and overwhelming it can be - it's all very well to be type rationally about it now, but when the cloud comes down, so hard to be as strong. think we should all start a post natal group to make sure we all keep in touch
re you mum, hope you won't mind if i give you some bonkers advice but it seems to me that two things are apparent. the first is how much you want your mums love and support right now. the second is that she's very stubborn and insensitive, and is not going to back down.
it'd be insanely tough to do, but if you could take it upon yourself to be the better person here, then you could get what you want (your mums support and love), despite the odds being against you (cause she being a PITA). sod being right (despite the fact you so obvs are) and try to rise above the need to have your mum acknowledge that she's been v v unreasonable. .
put the saint hat on (halo, i guess??) ring her up, apologise profusly, empathise with her. my guess is that her first response will be to outpour everything she's feeling and thinks which would be so darn difficult to listen to without going mental at her . hum and ahh and don't engage with any of the nonesense, just listen and make agreeing sounds. if you can do that and remain the better person by rising above it, then i reckon at some point in the future, you'd finally get that much needed apology from her. also, hopefully, it'd mean that in the short term, you'd get the reconcilliation with her that sounds so important to you.
sorry if it's not my place to say all these things. it's just one possible approach. and you may of course never get the apology you want, your mum may never concede you were right about xmas and the weeks since, and finally, you will almost certianly never get any credit from your mum for being the person who had the balls and stregnth and courage to get the two of you made up again. you'd be a bloody saint if you could do it, but by concentrating on the outcome you want, rather than how you get there, wonder if the deadlock could be broken.
sry, long post, please ignore all of it if needs be, i do not mean to interfere, i just know that taking a similar stance to probs with relationships i've had has really worked. take care xx