Due May 05 part 3

[myermay]

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My emotions have been all over the place too, but it's not all hormonal - my dad died a month ago, it was a total shock, so I've been completely torn between feeling devastated, dealing with Christmas (all the inlaws at ours), looking after my mum, while worrying about the effect the shock might have on the baby and being excited about the pregnancy too. I'm shattered, frankly.

Sorry to hear about your dad, Oliv - it's especially hard at Christmas I know. Try and get as much rest as possible. Babies are incredibly resilient so try not to worry.

Well I have just had my 20 week scan and have found out its a girl. I couldn't stop crying I am so pleased!

Samcattie - that's such good news - and in time for all the pink dresses in the January sales!

I am so pleased for you SamCattie! It's all worth it now isn't it?

Great news Samcattie!

Congratulations Samcattie! A girl!!! I was convinced mine was going to be a girl - goes to show how wrong instinct can be. Had even decided she was going to be Caitlin Eve!

You mentioned feeling huge. I am too, but have to admit to quite liking it. Was ttc for so long that I'm revelling in my new belly. But am a bit concerned about my size. A couple of girls at work are just ahead of me, but look much smaller. But then again they've gained even more weight than me - I sometimes wonder where they've put it. I've gained a stone exactly, and am 21w 1d - does this sound about right? Would be interested to know how much others have gained...

PS I'm not worried about my weight particularly, but just interested to see if it's an average gaine. It's my size that I'm shocked about - people are surprised when I tell them I'm only 21 weeks!! Maybe there's some truth in the old wives tale about carrying all up front with a boy..?

vicstervic, I am really big too (and carrying a boy), and I love my bump. Just like last time I have put on hardly any weight - less than half a stone! This just seems to be my way with pg - I started this pg a stone lighter than with ds (lost half a stone with him and half a stone with a mc in between). And I haven't thrown up at all (although lots of nausea). Still, bit of an expensive way (emotionally and financially) to lose weight!

Last time, I put on 3.5 stone in total! This time I am nearly 23 weeks and I have only gained 6 lb. I was up to 9 lb but I have been too ill to eat for 2 days. I am a bit shocked by losing weight really. According to the Miriam Stoppard, at 20 weeks you should have put on about 12 lb and a 1lb a week from then on so you are going by the book vicstervic!

Thanks ladies, I don't feel quite so bad now... have put on 18lb (1st4lb) and although that's higher than you suggest, I thought I had gained at least 3 times too much (I'm not joking). I have been quite worried about it. I've put on a little bit of fat all over, but mostly belly. At my last appointment, my midwife wasn't too worried, but I've gained lots of weight since then...

I'm just hoping not to have put on 5 stone by the end - I'm resigned to a gain of about 3st I think, and I'm not going to diet whilst pregnant or anything - baby is the most important thing right now.

I'm at 20w5d by the way

Hi everyone. Been ages since I posted here... sorry. My "20 week scan" is on Thursday week (20 Jan) when I will be 21 weeks 4 days. Very much looking forward to finding out the sex. Also, I don't feel lots of kicks so I get a bit worried. It's probably fine, but I worry anyway. So it will be nice to see bub.

Apart from having the worlds most miserable cold and missing all last week of work, I'm fine. I'll try to post more often. Gotta run for now....

Can I offload to you ladies? I know you'll understand (and I hope you'll do the same). It feels like a broken record with me, but I just really don't feel that I'm coping. There's no use talking this over again cos I know the arguments (which I do find comforting) that show that I am doing OK and that it's only temporary anyway, but even if I can be comforted by this, it doesn't take away the underlying feeling that I HATE being pg, HATE not feeling that I am coping, not being able to do stuff (especially sleep) and feeling permanently knackered. DP is feeling very down at the moment about work and I want to be there to comfort him and say the right things, cos he always does for me. DS has had this vomitting & diarrhoea bug over the weekend and was better yesterday but this morning a bit fragile and he kept losing his balance, so I reckon at least a cold, probably an ear infection coming on. And I want to be like usual and open up all my loving and caring and help them both like I normally do, but instead I feel moany and pathetic. I'm just counting down the days until the balance seems just right to get myself signed off. Too soon and I'll get worse cos I'll get bored. But too late and I'm just going to pack in and the baby is going to suffer. God, there are many people in this world who are genuinely suffering and I'm just being moany, but I really just feel shit.

I hate being pregnant too. I take comfort in reminding myself that this is the last one. Oh let me count the ways:
1- I hate being fat (although I do enjoy the eating)
2- I hate the lower back pain that prevents me from running.
3- I hate being tired.
4- I hate sharing my oxygen supply (I seem to suffer a bit more than most on breathlessness -- greedy baby!)
5- I hate wearing maternity clothes (they are not cute or flattering in any way).
6- I hate morning sickness.
7- I hate carrying my pee around in my handbag en route to the doc.
8- I hate not being able to take medicine when I am sick.

I could go on... but I guess I've made my point.

Offload away, Fisil. You know that I understand.
Being pregnant literally nearly killed me on Thursday night so I'm not feeling particularly charitable towards it either - had a massive allergic reaction and dithered about taking antihistamines because of the baby. Luckily, I started breathing again on my own. Now have a stinking cold on top of a bruised chest and throat.

We're more than halfway. I am going to set myself one productive baby-related task a week that will be fun. Stuff the housework. This week, I am going to sort out a bit more of the nursery, perhaps get the changing table and toiletries ready.

Just my opinion but I think you need to get signed off soon and concentrate on looking after yourself ...hugs to you, Fisil...

Check to all those Uwila
This will be my last too. I am already thinking about long-term contraception. Has anyone ever had those injections? I was even talking about being sterilised the other day! Dh has said that he never wants to put me through another pregnancy either.

I hope that we are not scaring the first-timers because having ds was nothing like this at all. I was incredibly excited and happy and everything was an adventure and lovely. Why has my morale gone south like my stomach muscles (and everything else)?

Sorry to hear you're struggling with your pregnancies ladies - sounds pretty miserable. Fisil - I agree with logic about you seeing your doctor sooner rather than later. Coincidentally I've just come home from a GP antenatal appointment, and I've been signed off work for 2 weeks with exhaustion. I'm worried that I'm going to be bored, but mostly I'm really relieved that I'm going to be able to sleep when I need/want to, rather than panicking about not getting enough sleep to function Mon-Fri. I feel a bit guilty really - after all, other ladies manage with kids and jobs, but the last few weeks have been wearing me down, and I've been struggling to make it through the day without dropping on my feet.

x

Hi all, sorry you're suffering must be awful i'm not - all is really well, i'm happy and healthy and probably one of those women most people HATE!
I have an infected computer and cant post on a thread i have already posted on or i get flung straight into some hardcore porn site and have to turn off that is why im not posting on here very often but am always around.
It took me far too long to cross the road this morning, i am waddling already. Ds back in playschool this morning HURRAY! Lots of love to you all xxxx

northstar, I run a free program called ad-aware to keep my PC clean of such stuff. Might be worth a try.

Don't feel guilty vicstervic! Just get loads of rest

don't feel guilty vicstervic, I know what you mean, though. My GP said to me last week "you would understand if one of your team was pg and you'd let her slow down/have time off." to which I replied, "yes, I would (and do), but they're not ME, and I have different expectations of myself!"

Thanks for everything you've said this morning - as I said, it's wonderful to know you lot are all here and completely understand. Maybe I should get signed off just for a week or so ...

PS I have no qualms about the sterilisation thing - I'm pretty sure it's what I want. Both mine & dp's parents had 2 close together and then a 3rd after a long long gap (for different reasons) but I really don't see a circumstance in which I would want to!

I too am mildly considering some kind of permanent sterilisation. But, I was thinking that it would be a lot less painful for DH to get his bits snipped. I think the surgery for women is rather more involved.

Also, there's a small part of me that isn't quite sure this is the last. I mean if something horrible (God forbid) should ever happen to one of my children, then I might have another.

Does anyone know if they offer sterilisation on the NHS (whether it's tubes tied, burned, snipped, or the man getting the snip)? Or does one have to do this privately?

Hi all, I'm now back at work and able to log on again. Sorry that so many of you are feeling rough, I'm not great, I was off last week with a horrible flu type bug, which bought back my morning sickness, I lost all the weight I'd put on, about 9lbs, and some more, so weighed less than when I got pregnant, I'm trying to put some of it back on now! Not sure where I lost it from as my bump seems quite big and my boobs keep growing too (BTW one of my boobs has started leaking a little bit, only in bed and only one of them - does anyone else have this - I hope they even up - it seems quite early too!) Had my 20 week scan and although we wanted to know the sex the baby was in the wrong position so we'll just have to wait. I keep alternating between hating being pregnant for reasosn others have said, especially being sick and tired, but sometimes I love it, especially feeling my baby move around and seeing it on the scan - I'm so excited about becoming a mum. Hope everyone feels better soon, I thought we were supposed to be 'blooming' by now!

Blooming is a euphamism for fat and unwell.

Haven't been on web for a few days. I feel slightly better(if poss???) that I am not the only one feeling down and miserable. My scan on Fri cheered me up to see everything is ok. But then on Saturday, I felt really low and quite depressed. Didn't want to get up, felt really teary and snapped at people. Like most people have said they feel happy that they are pregnant but sometimes get fed up of it too. I am 21 weeks on Fri, but already my back is killing me. My stomach looks more like 7 months pregnant and I feel so tired all the time. I have a couple of days booked off work in a couple of weeks, but could so do with them now. I am so exhausted.
I can totally sympathise with everyone feeling the same, has anyone managed to shake off these feelings yet?