Due in June 2008: bring on the bumps! (and that's before Christmas meals!)

[aberdeenhiker]

The last message I posted seems to have filled up the old thread so I thought I'd start a new one.

Since bump size was our last topic, I thought this might do for a thread title.

morning

Debs - good luck

Poppy - {{{{{hug}}}}

China Surprise - there's a brilliant clip doing the rounds about mancold - very funny, although I'm sure you're DH isn't so bad he's called an ambulance yet and requires a bell, but I wouldn't put it past some DHs!

Had my scan on Friday. Notch up another boy for the list. Good news - all healthy which is great. Bad news - I've got great girls names but we really struggle for boys names. Also, since two children is our limit and we already have one DS, my life from now on is going to be fighting testosterone, smelly sports kit and teh constant cry of 'I'm hungry; is there anything in the fridge?'.

welcome sarey & pp. Yup, as deb said I've got 3 boys (8,7 & 4) so feel free to ask, but if's anything to do with girls (they're a different species aren't they?) I'm no good.

My exhaustion is beyond funny. Not helped by my weekend quiche incident which is still freaking me out - started a thread, but in a nutshel we ate quiche at weekend. found out after it was only par baked, but didn't realise to ate uncooked. tried to be philosophical about it (am not generally food neurotic) but woke at 3 am with really terrible diarrhoea 8sorry if tmi) so been really stressed out and upset about damaging baby ever since. Thank God I can at least feel it moving still. But am really upset by it and will be glad in 20 weeks to actually look at it and be reassured it's in 1 piece iyswim. Exhaustion is now stupid. I finally gor up at noon yesterday. Had a nap between 2 & 4, when had to get up as dh gone back to Milan. bed at 10 then woke up today at 9.30 and feel really shattered, and supposed to be packing for hooliday!

Am now not looking forward to 5 hour drive to Milan. But am looking forward to scan on Wednesday. Hope doc can put my mind at rest.

Will speak to psych again tomorrow re ds2 (& getting ds1 assessed) they will be attending british school in Milan. Not sure yet when /how to mention it. Was planning to visit school on Thrus or Fri but din't want to discuss something so big alone, rather dh with me. Also need to find out more, have order a couple of books about ADHD as don't really know anything about it. I was surprised ds diagnosed, as I thought ADHD = really naughty/violent/agressive kid, but this isn't either of my dss at all. SO need to learn more before I discuss with school I think.

Deb, thinking of you. Hope you get to find out what it is, and an extra crossed finger for flavour

Mellymell. Congrats on your boy. YOu'll get a great name, I'm sure. hell, I've got 3 boys and can only think of more boys' names (well, after a whole evening discussion and a lovely curry I managed to rustle up some girls' names, but was a bit more half hearted.

Don't worry about the testosterone. Well, I'm not at the teen stage yet, but 3 boys = lots of fun. But yes, ds1 permanently hungry

poppy, thinking of you on Thursday xxx

mellymell congratulations on another boy. It's not only boys who eat alot though, my dd2 is always either eating, looking for food or talking about food. Like mother like daughter I think!

Ernest, good luck with the school meeting.

Try here - and hope it helps:

www.kidshealth.org/parent/emotions/behavior/adhd.html

And ADHD doesn't mean bad or naughty or anything. Often a chemical imbalance which makes focusing on stuff difficult for kids and adults, but difficult to diagnose. Have worked in the pharma industry for ages and really believe it is an illness which requires treatment.

Best of British (or should it be Italian bearing in mind where you're going to be living)

Morning all, just got back to work after having my scan. The piccies are v. clear (will see if IT can scan them in for me!) and everything seems normal. They took all the measurements and said that Bug is normal and the size matches my dates pretty closely - so we are generally feeling pretty damn excited
We had a hectic weekend with an Australia Day BBQ on Saturday night with 11 people crammed into our tiny flat - but it was worthi it. It is a yearly tradition, and we now have friends who get upset if they don't get invited as they expect a BBQ in the middle of January! It was a typical BBQ too - all them men around the BBQ and all the women inside (especially in this weather). Now have MIL staying until Wednesday, while she looks around the area to decide if she wants to move here. We had a couple of friends chatting to her on Saturday night about the terrible house prices, jobs, traffic etc so hopefully she will be dissuaded - wish me luck

Quick update - all is well with the baby, measuring right for dates, weight 300g, but still a mystery baby!!! The Dr looked and looked but still couldn't be sure he said. Needless to say I was very disappointed after getting myself quite worked up about it, left the Drs and burst into tears - which is completely irrational as the most important thing is that all is OK.

Dh managed to talk me round, and even said maybe it is a girl as it wasn't so obvious to see!!

Hope everyone else is OK, will catch up with messages later.

Hi Ernest

Here's some links for sites about ADHD dietary factors. Have you seen the study where they fed twins different diets and the affect it had on them (not implying you stuff DS1&2 full of junk!!!)

an exclusion diet which may help you identify ADHD triggers - if you can get DS to stick to it...

//www.homeschoolmath.net/teaching/add-adhd-diet.php more potential dietary factors explained]]

the medical world's view of ADHD

are food allergies to blame?

the US feingold diet for ADHD

God knows if any of this stuff works, but just speaking anecdotally, my youngest brother and one of his friends were both hyperactive as children (in the years before ADHD was diagnosed) and orange squash, or any other additive high food sent them both loopy - this was years before all this research was done.

Hi Debs

Sorry to hear you don't know the flavour. What a bummer. But at least all is good. Don't beat yourself up for crying - anything sets me off at the moment!

xxx

deb, (or do you prefer debs, please let us know!) I can 100% relate to your disapppointment, and subsequent crying. I had this 4 weeks ago. I managed not to cry but was really miserable for 2 days .

Will be incolsolable on Wed if they acnt tell me, esp as I get asked about 10 times a day what I'm having.

At least you're in At so get regular scans, so amybe find out in 4 weeks - is that your next appointment? It's a shame, but yes, at least you have the health reassurance.

Thanks a lot for ADHD links, will look when I've done some bloody packing!!!

Debs I would have felt exactley the same. With my first 2 girls I wasn't told but didn't mind to much as it was policy not to tell but this time round I was so desperate to know as I know I could find out! Glad you nad Nettie have the all clear regarding babies health!

Debs, how many weeks/days are you and how big were your other babies? At 20+6 my baby was estimated to be 405g but the sonographer did ask if I was diabetic which straight away alerted me to the fact this baby is BIG!

Hello all,

Haven't posted for a while but wanted to update you on bump's progress. We went for our heart scan today following the whole nuchal fold/CVS palaver, and unfortunately they found that the baby has severe aortic stenosis - a narrowing of at least one and possibly two of the main arteries. They seem to think that it's fairly likely to lead to Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome by the time the baby is born, which is very severe and the baby would die within a few days without major surgery.
If we go ahead, the baby would need surgery within a day or two of birth, followed by two more ops before he reaches school age. the fist op carries a 30% mortality risk, the second two are less severe.

So now we're trying to decide what to do - which is proving a bit difficult, to say the least..... Neither option seems like the obvious thing to do.

Hope everyone is well and bumps are all well

LittleMy

LittleMy - my heart goes out to you. There are no words

I'm so, so sorry LittleMy34 . So hard to have to make that decision at this point. I wish there was something I could say to help.

There must be others on mumsnet who have been through having to make similar decisions - have you thought of starting a thread? It might help to be able to discuss it with people who've been there and know how you are feeling.

hey everyone, back from hols and just catching up on all the posts from the last week. littlemy34 - I'm so sorry to hear your news, I can only imagine how tough it must be for you just now.

Also poppy - good luck with your scan on thursday, I completely understand how apprehensive you're feeling at the moment.

Hope everyone else doing ok.

Little my - that is terrible news you must be absolutely distraught. It's going to be so hard for you to make that decision, I hope the hospital are being supportive. Whatever decision you make it will be the right one for you and I hope we can all help you with some support over the next few weeks/months. Sending you big hugs.

LittleMy34 I'm so sorry to hear your news. My nephew also had aortic stenosis and had an operation at about 20 months or so to repair it. It must have been mild for it to have been left for so long before it was repaired though I'm really not sure as we didn't know he was even having the op until about 2 weeks before. I really hope you have been put in touch with others you can talk to.

LittleMy - I'm so sorry to hear your news.
Of course, your decision is totally personal, and so so difficult.
I've found you a couple of support groups online in case you haven't felt up to looking...

Little Hearts matter this is specifically for HLHS

Children's Heart Foundation more general stuff

Good luck
xxx

Littlemy I am so sorry to hear your news. I hope we can be of some support to you as you have to make this awful decision, have the Doctors advised one way or the other?

[hugs]

Thanks for the support re my upset this morning but Littlemy's post really puts things into perspective now.

Call me Deb or Debs, and only Debra if you're telling me off!

G43 - According to my dates I'm 21+3 weeks, Dr said the baby was measuring fine for 22 weeks. Boys were 8lb 13oz and 8lb 3oz - so both big boys!!

Ernest get packing!!

thanks for all your messages and support, it means a lot - I've posted on this separately in the pregnancy category, but i'm finding that the problem isn't not having enough information (but thanks all who sent me links to useful things) but knowing how to choose between two deeply unattractive options.

if we terminate then at least we know we won't be causing our son any trauma and pain, and we will probably get over it in time, although never actually forget. And we won't face the risk of losing a child we've known and loved for months or years and all the pain that would cause.

if we don't, we face putting our tiny tiny baby through some horribly traumatic surgery within days of birth, probably involving trekking up to Guy's Hospital in London for a few weeks (we're in Bristol) and leaving DS1 at Grannie's - and he would only have a 70% chance of making it through. assuming he made it through all the surgeries successfully, there's still the possibility his heart might fail and he might need a transplant. If it doesn't, he'll need more operations as he gets older to replace various artificial valves etc, he'll have to be careful of infections, and they don't know what his life expectancy will be as this is a relatively new procedure and the oldest children to have it are now in their 20s.

when i write it all down it seems fairly clear to me that we can't put a child through all that, not to mention the effect it would have on the family and DS1 - but then I feel like taking the termination route would be letting my son down and giving up on him. which doesn't feel right either, especially as I can feel him wriggling around.

sorry, didn't mean to go on at length and have a rant, just not sure how one makes a decision when neither option seems to have any silver linings!

Poppy - hope your scan goes well on Thursday!

Littlemy, I'm sure which ever decision you make it will be the right one, I am sending you huge hugs as can;t imagine how you are feeling. I am also in Bristol, and have visited the Children's hospital a few times and they have been great, is there any way the treatment could be done there instead of London. Don't know what else to say but thinking of you. Big hugs.

Deb, so sorry you didn't see the sex, I have high hopes for you it will be a girl, I have friends who couldn't see and they turned out to be girl, so fingers crossed.

Oh Littlemy I am sitting here with tears in my eyes at your predicament. There's not much any of us can say but it seems like you are thinking about all the right things as it is not just the life of your unborn to consider but your lovely DS1 as well. Life is extremely cruel as it seems so late to be finding out about something like this. Sending you hugs as words seem so useless.

Littlemy, I am so sorry, what an awful time for you. I think whatever decision you make will be the right one, I can't imagine how heartbreaking it is to make that choice. I am crying just thinking about it let alone having to go through it. My thoughts are with you, sending as much love as I can.
xxx

I have been feeling quite low of late. I am waiting impatiently for 20 week scan which I don't get in Bromley until 23 weeks for some reason...but because my dates have changed it now falls on the day I turn 24 weeks...so I guess I'm a little nervous that something really will be wrong and I won't have the luxury of time to make decisions....
The baby is kicking like wildfire so I don't have to worry too much about that, thank God. But I appear to be suffering from the beginnings of SPD so that has been preying on my mind too. I've been feeling quite sorry for myself.

But reading about littlemy and her quandary I feel embarrassed to have been so self-pitying. I am grateful for everything that I have but send you all my thoughts and hugs littlemy. I can't possibly imagine what you are going through but am certain that the decision you make will absolutely be the right one. ANd you have my love and support. Whenever you need it.