Due August 2021 - the final countdown!

[Daffodil21]

Continuation of the previous thread.

All newcomers welcome!

Not long now!!!

@BertieBotts I couldn't agree more with what you've just said, you've hit the nail on the head about comparing the risks and transparency in particular.

@lucyrp I can't fully imagine going home so quickly purely because I know for me things go differently, which is a bit sad, but the right decision. I think we all have/had this ideal scenario in our heads and that's normal? Sometimes allowing yourself to have a plan B, C and even Z surprisingly takes the pressure off, even though it can be hard to get there, no doubt. Remember that you feeling good now is really important, we said about oxytocin before, right? 😊 Maybe accepting a possible alternative plan is just what will help you relax and then...boom 😊 your plan A will unfold before you know it! Keeping everything crossed for you 🤞xx

@lucyrp And just to say I get it that in some parts of Wales you're stuck with hospitals being far away, I've actually talked about this exact issue with the MW yesterday. In SE Wales we're far luckier, so I can 100% see how for you the prospect of having to go further away is tough. I think this would be daunting to anyone, most of us can empathise that this isn't an ideal option. xx

@PurplePansy05 I've literally been told FA 🤷‍♀️

@Ava50x my reason for an ELCS is that I've had 3mcs so I don't trust my body to do as it should. I know there are risks for both types of birth, but personally I'd rather put my trust in the surgeon than my body as we've finally got to this point. My consultant said that medically there is no reason to suggest that it wouldn't be safe to have a natural birth, but given that we don't know the reasons for previous losses (not helped by the fact that said consultant failed to test previous pregnancy) and we've never got this far before even though we're on pregnancy #4, I'm not willing to take any chances!

@PurplePansy05 shame the results of that lancet study doesn't seem to have reached the consultants yet!

They're getting there though re Lancet @Daffodil21, my hospital knew about it. I was not surprised with the results when it's come out this year, don't know about you. It has to lead to improvements in post RMC care, particularly compulsory regular growth scans in the 3rd trimester, the basic package is not sufficient in our circumstances. xx

@Ava50x I’ve having a planned section because I ended up with a cat 1 section with my first, which was a huge shock after all the planning I’d done for a vaginal birth. The cat one was very stressful and then didn’t get to see my baby for 40 mins after he was born as he’d been taken straight to resus.

It seems I make massive babies, despite me being tiny, and this combo makes it unlikely I can deliver vaginally. Actually had a consultant confirm this a few weeks ago, which felt like a vindication!

Section is the safest option for me and baby it seems (growth scans indicating this baby is huge too 🙄), so feeling much more prepared and in control this time around.

@PurplePansy05 @sarah13xx @Daffodil21 how strange about the shaving thing! I’m my preop and the paperwork mine says to use hair removal cream down there the day before the op! But the midwife said if I’m sensitive to it (I’ve never hair removaled down there so don’t think it’s wise the day before just incase) just shave and be careful!

@Ava50x not nosey at all! I had a crash emergency section with my DS due to a cord prolapse. Mentally it really affected me and have been referred to the prenatal mental health team due to birth trauma and felt like having some control over this birth would really help settle my nerves. Like @sarah13xx I didn’t like the odds of it ending in a section again even if it was highly unlikely to have a prolapse again! Also it’s good so I can organise childcare for DS

Sorry was meant to tag @Inmypjsagain not @sarah13xx 🙈

@Magik01 😂 Honestly it sounds like there are as many rules as there are hospitals haha! At my hospital they shave you if needed, they don't want any allergic reactions or existing cuts before. I also asked another MW yesterday just of curiosity about the MRSA swab and she said "it's very old-fashioned" and they didn't observe any significant rates of MRSA in pregnant women so they don't test routinely. Go figure 🤷🏼‍♀️ I know at least 2 or 3 ladies on here are having it and it's a regular thing before the section. Inconsistencies everywhere 😂 xx

Totally agree @PurplePansy05 that being secretive about it definitely doesn’t help this attitude some people have and if you actually answered them back to some extent it would help others in future 🙈 I’m kind of protecting myself I think, especially this close to it, that I don’t want to discuss it with anyone IRL. People like my MIL in particular I just know will have something to say. She is one of those ones as well who said constantly about ‘when we have kids’ ‘when she has grandkids’ etc but if it wasn’t for me managing to overcome part of my fear and get to this point she wouldn’t be having any grandkids at all! It’s so bizarre how in society nothing else vagina-related is discussed so publicly but as you say any random feels they’re entitled to ask you why your baby isn’t coming out your vagina 🙈 As much as it’s worded in a different way, that’s what’s being asked. My best friends have always known a section would be the only option for me so I haven’t had to go into discussing reasons with them, we’ve had that conversation many times over the years. It’s the way with a medical reason you can answer quickly like ‘placenta praevia’ etc and that’s it, conversation over. If I was to start going into my reasons though I wouldn’t be able to do that in a word or two 🙈 or I could but they’d then probably think that awful phrase ‘oh too posh too push’ 🙄 and I think I’d rather lie than have them think that when it’s taken SO much for me to get to this point even. I think il lie in situations where I can’t or don’t want to go into it all but I would quite like to explain it properly to some people. My MIL is very nosey and gossipy though (and gets very little gossip) so I think telling her probably will just give her something to go telling all her group chats about 🤦🏼‍♀️ My answer ready for her is ‘aw lots of reasons’ and when she asks more information I’m going to say something along the lines of I’m not going into it or I don’t think it’s everyone else’s business 🤣

Wow maybe I’m not the only one thinking ahead as a child @BertieBotts 🙈 It must have been a positive experience you watched! Totally agree about the risk thing. I had done that much research I could just about carry the operation out myself by the time I got to speak to a consultant (not even joking) 🤣 I’d found much more balanced views of the risks of both etc online but the risks they read out in the consultant appointment are SO extreme. They must be like absolute worst case scenario when someone’s already been in labour for 3 days, ended up in a life-threatening situation for both them and their baby and they’re rushed to theatre. It was also set out like we would be weighing up the pros and cons of both types of birth at this meeting but the only thing mentioned was the cons of a section, no pros and no risks or anything of a vaginal birth. I’m sure she was being extra harsh with the risks to me because it was for phobia/anxiety rather than a medical reason (and I was well prepared) but I feel bad for anyone who wanted a vaginal birth to be told they’ll need to have a section for medical reasons then to be hit with all of that 😳 They’re getting me to sign the consent form on the morning because they don’t do pre-ops at my hospital now. I’ll already be probably having a panic attack but the last thing you want in that situation is someone reading you the risks again! By then you have to tell yourself in your head ‘I’m one of the straight forward ones and this will be absolutely fine’. You wouldn’t have a woman going into labour trying to relax as someone reels off all the bad things that might happen 🤦🏼‍♀️ Just going to shout yes yes yes over the top of them so I don’t think about it while I’m in the middle of it!

@Magik01 so strange how they all have different rules! I kind of wish I’d been getting waxed regularly throughout pregnancy then I could of just had that the week before and hopefully hair wouldn’t start growing back while I have the dressing on (it’s that bit I’m dreading) 😬 the hair removal cream must be so you aren’t putting any cuts on the skin. It could be that they use on the day at mine, she didn’t actually say it was shaving

Thank you ladies for sharing your c-section/induction reasons - it's so interesting to read. I wholeheartedly agree with those of you who have said that any or no reason is good enough, it's about making the right choices for yourself and your body. I had a wonder about an ELCS the other month - when baby was breech I did think they'd stay like that and was planning to choose a section if that was the case so when they turned it felt quite unexpected and all of a sudden there were more options. I'm hoping that trying for a vaginal birth is the right choice - we'll find out soon enough!

On another note, I could have murdered DH this morning! Last night I only woke to pee twice and actually slept well for the first time in weeks and he bloody woke me up at 7:30 because he wanted a cuddle, even asked if I could move my pregnancy pillow so we could cuddle more easily 😭

It's sad you're feeling this way @sarah13xx, I feel very strongly about not judging anyone's choices and it makes me sad many women feel they can't speak up openly because they would be judged or gossiped about. It's not right. Glad you felt comfortable and safe talking about it on here though, no one is going to challenge how you feel ❤ Your MIL sounds ridiculous, her comments sound uninformed. I'm not even going to go into how many of us on here have a difficult past history of pregnancy, early losses, late losses, stillbirths, serious complications, you name it. You mention the fear of pregnancy and childbirth. It's a crucial time for a mum-to-be, life changing - of course you have every reason to have that fear. And it isn't a breeze for many of us. There's no point in spiralling this fear you already have in you, but comments like yoir MIL's are really unhelpful as they undermine what a lot of women go through to have a baby. Some people are truly clueless! Be proud of yourself that you've overcome your difficulties, you should be. xx

So interesting hearing everyone's stories! I'm a FTM and actually first time pregnant! I'm
Currently on route for a natural birth but who knows! Would love a water birth if I can! Feel very lucky that there are so many different options out there although my hospital doesn't offer ELCS.
My best friend just had an elective and said it was amazing (her first was an emergency) her main advice was to take peppermint capsules for afterwards!
I'm 35+4 so still a little while and trying to be patient!

@biscuitcat oh no 🙈 Cuddles in bed are long gone in our house unless I make a big thing of climbing out the pregnancy pillow 😂 genuinely don’t know how I’ll go back to sleeping without one after

@PurplePansy05 yes to it being such a crucial time for a mum-to-be, as well as for baby! I've seen a few times in books, where it's emphasised that it isn't just a baby being born, it's a mother - and why on earth shouldn't your needs and wants be important in that situation? It's momentous!

@PurplePansy05 aw thank you! 😊 there have been a lot of supportive people on here. well yes this is the other thing about saying ‘when are you having a baby?’ etc. People have no idea what someone else’s circumstances are. I have a friend who’s had four losses while I’ve been pregnant, one was recently. She gets people saying to her ‘oh are you not thinking of having kids now?’ when I’m there because I’m pregnant. Its the most awkward thing on earth! She has to make up excuses and say she doesn’t want one just now etc while going through all of that 🤦🏼‍♀️ She must just feel like bursting into tears but it’s happened more than once while I’ve been with her. You don’t even realise the amount of insensitive comments that are made until you know (or you are) someone going through that, it’s so sad 😞

Yeah definitely, thanks! I’m just focusing on myself and getting over this last bit then I can deal with the comments (if there’s any) 🙄 I feel like if I was to do it again it would be fine since people just presume if you’ve had a section you’ll be having another one so I wouldn’t really need to go into reasons next time!

Hope you get the birth you want @ame88 Glad your friend’s experience was a positive one 😊 I have peppermint capsules packed! Everyone says peppermint tea but I really can’t drink flavoured teas so I thought the capsules would be easier

@PurplePansy05 yeah, I’ve read far too much on all the risks etc. I think and I know an elective is different to an emergency one, but it’s just in my nature to panic! Ive been lucky enough to avoid hospitals and medical intervention so I just get nervous when im there. When I spoke to the dr the pros and cons were very skewed to a c section though, I wonder if my trust “like” doing them. I don’t think you usually get told the risk of a vaginal birth vs c section under normal circumstances, the assumption is a vaginal birth, I wonder many would prefer a c section if they had the same meeting? Because I came out of it even more convinced than when I went in! I like your reply to the builder’s 😂 I think my MiL is a bit confused at the c section position with me but shes wise enough not to say anything….

Totally agree just cause is a good enough reason! I do wonder how hospitals deal with that though, I had to be “counselled” by the birth options midwife before I could get an appointment to book the c section, so obviously I have my reasons but if I just wanted one I wonder how it would be dealt with. As it is she was making out I’m some sort of control freak- I promise in real life I’m the opposite!

@lucyrp I understand your worry and it’s the type of thing I’d be thinking about too. Hopefully you’ll get a better idea of size after your next appointment/growth scan, it will all work out but I understand it’s difficult if you have a plan in your mind and it’s the stress of it not going to plan.

@BertieBotts you were in my dream last night, teaching me how to swaddle 😂

Got midwife appointment in 15 mins, wonder if I’ll be sent for another growth scan….!

Going to need a new thread again soon ladies!

Post if you want to be added to the list/any list updates.

@PurplePansy05 do you want to do the honours seeing as you put all the effort into updating the list this time? Happy to do if not but I feel like you've already done the work 😂

I just ignore people when they question why I'm having a CS. I've told some friends and their instant reaction was 'why? Oh I'd avoid that if I were you'. But it comes from a place of ignorance. All but one of them don't have children and have never been pregnant, and one of them got pregnant in the first month of ttc and had a problem free pregnancy, so they really do not get to judge or question my decisions!

@sarah13xx sorry just read your post and it’s weird how we had different experiences even with the dr. I don’t know what forms you’ll be given with your consent forms, but on the pack I was the risk for a vaginal birth were longer than the c section (risk of tears, associated risks with assisted delivery etc. I suppose there’s probably so much because they’re covering so many potential eventualities) - then it refers you to the c section section too because there’s a risk of the emergency op. Going through the consents were similar, she went through the risks again but then compared to a vaginal birth. Anyway I came out positive I’d made the right choice for me but, as I said above, it seemed very pro section and I do wonder if my trust is quite keen for women to take that route?

Oh and I’m having an Mrsa test tomorrow! I’ve just checked my notes- again maternity services differing UK wide!

That was not to suggest that you shouldn't want a CS if this is your first pregnancy and it's been straight forward. It wouldn't even cross my mind to question someone saying they wanted a CS! So many reasons and each and every one of them is 100% valid!

@Inmypjsagain you definitely are made to feel like some sort of weirdo when you first tell them your reasons but I ended up having to kind of go along with it and really play the whole mental health thing to get somewhere with them, when I’m completely mentally stable, I just have a strong preference for how this baby will be coming out 🙈 I felt like the midwife was quite patronising and kind of fobbed me off like I’d forget about it every time I asked! It made me 10 times more anxious about it all and I ended up phoning her at 25 weeks saying I really need to speak to a consultant ASAP, I can’t sleep for worrying about this! I think only at that point she took me seriously. She was meant to send me to the birth reflections service for counselling before I would qualify to speak to a consultant but I think she skipped that step because I was in such a state by then 🤦🏼‍♀️ Glad your consultant didnt give you a hard time though, sounds like they’re nicer than mine!

@Inmypjsagain I was sent out the pack of information with the forms in it so I could read them before our appointment but there was nothing about vaginal births, it was all just c-section risks! I’ve to take that pack with me and I presume they just get me to sign it when I get there.

That’s good you have appointments arranged! I have that badger notes app so you don’t get notifications of any appointments they make for you, I just keep having to go on to check in case I need to go in before. It was only on there that I found out the time of my section, no one actually contacted me to tell me 😂

@Daffodil21 I'd like to be added in the new thread please if someone can create it x

@Daffodil21 @PurplePansy05 I’d like to be added to the new one please :)

I shall recreate the list @Daffodil21! I'll update what I've got and if anyone wants to be added please just post. @Daffodil21 can you link up the new thread before we run out of space here?

@biscuitcat Oh god I'm not in a mood for cuddles now, I'd be the same as you! 😂

Interesting to read more comments about the bias in presenting risks of various birth options (either way, but generally more skewed towards vaginal birth). Over the last few months I've seen numerous threads on MN about this. Wouldn't it just be easier if we were given full, objective and clear information to make a choice, we all can think for ourselves once the information is there! xx