Aug 2021 - half way there!

[HopefulB]

@wimbler - EDD 29 July, surprise 💛
@Champson - EDD 22 August (but really June/July), TBC 💖💖💖
@coffeeandrainbows1- EDD 4 August (but most likely July), Boy 💙
@Jessicapebbles - EDD 5 August (but having C-section at 39 weeks, so really July), Girl 💖
@Smurf123 - EDD 5 August (but likely to be July) 💛
@WhatEvenIsSleep - EDD 2 August, Boy 💙
@Smushty14 - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Rattyclife - EDD 6 August, TBC 💛
@Dia12 - EDD 8 August, Girl 💖
@Biscuitcat - EDD 10 August, surprise 💛
@ElonaWise - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@Runnergirl123 - EDD 11 August, TBC 💛
@PurplePansy05 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@Srtdr - EDD 12 August, surprise 💛
@Daffodil21 - EDD 12 August, Boy 💙
@Inmypjsagain - EDD ???, Boy 💙
@BananaHammock23 - EDD 13 August, surprise 💛
@MrsB2019x - EDD 13 August, Girl 💖
@Magik01 - EDD 13 August, Boy 💙
@Carefree1 - EDD 15 August, Girl 💖
@DressyGerbera - EDD 15 August, surprise 💛
@lucyrp - EDD 16 August, undecided 💛
@BertieBotts - EDD 16 August, want to know! 💛
@WolfMother326 - EDD 17 August, surprise 💛
@Caz1226 - EDD 17 August, Boy 💙
@Lille4 - EDD 17 August, TBC 💛
@Redskinsucks - EDD 17 August, TBC 💛
@RockyRockyRoad - EDD 18 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@Smallbean27 - EDD 19 August, surprise 💛
@WatermelonKisses - EDD 20 August, surprise 💛
@Alittlexmasmagic - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@Millymay13 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Whatshouldbemyusername - EDD 22 August, surprise 💛
@LottSE20 - EDD 22 August, TBC 💛
@Notinthestarsigns - EDD 23 August, TBC 💛
@LaceyMermaid - EDD 24 August, TBC 💛
@Fran919 - EDD 25 August, surprise 💛
@northernsquirrel - EDD 26 August, surprise 💛
@LyraShaeLilly - EDD 27 August, can't wait to find out 💛
@ame88 - EDD 28 August, TBC 💛
@diamante11 - EDD 29 August, Girl 💖
@HopefulB - EDD 29 August, TBC 💛
@CountryGirl84 - EDD 29 August, TBC 💛

@PurplePansy05 100% agree with everything you’ve written there! I just want anything to make life easier in the long run- I was even looking at whether the spinning was all that necessary as well, I spoke to a friend with the joie and she said she thought it was worth it because in her opinion it saved her back and just made life more simple- which sold spinning to me. It’s just the amount of choice that overwhelms me!

Looking at this baby paraphernalia does make it feel so real but surreal at the same time. I can’t believe how much life is doing to change in a few months, will I ever feel ready???!

@Inmypjsagain My good friend said don't even think about a non-swivel one, she has the Joie and is in love with it.

I don't think anyone is ever ready! You can be more in a motherhood frame of mind, but you never know what your new baby is going to be like! I am prepping myself best I can, bought DH the Commando Dad book and I really like it. I think if there are hard times ahead, we got to have a sense of humour. Also don't forget if you're struggling we're very lucky to have experienced mums on this thread and lots of FTMs. I am sure between us there is not a thing no one has heard/read of/experienced in practice. We'll be fine 💐 xx

Sorry @PurplePansy05 think I Cross posted. I don’t usually work in such a loungy position 😂 and I’ll move back to a desk soon, but it’s how I watch tv in the evening but suddenly thought that’s still on my back. I do get horrible pelvic and lower back pain so am always fidgeting!

And yes, you’re totally right- no one is ready and I’m sure we’ll all just wing it. I’ll look into that book- mine is currently reading pregnancy for men but I think it makes pregnancy sound too easy! I think it’s looking at these tiny socks and not quite believing something will hopefully be filling them soon that’s giving me the panic. That and the acrobatic workout this baby is doing in my belly! My stomach actually moved today!! I’m shocked as I’m anterior so wasn’t convinced I’d feel no movement for another 2 weeks. But thank you for the support 💜

I'm sure in my last pregnancy the latest was that back sleeping wasn't as risky as they thought and if you feel fine then it's OK to lie on your back, as the thinking is if it makes you breathless then you'll automatically move anyway.

It's defo worth considering whether you'll pass car seats down to the next baby if you're planning to have more. DS2 could probably stay in his current seat until the baby needs it, and he might be ready for a booster seat by then depending on when that is. Whereas if we'd only had the 0-4 years one, I'd have to kick him out at just 3 and he'd definitely be too small for a booster then, so we'd have to buy another harnessed seat, and they are the most expensive/complicated. Worth considering with the ones that use the same base for baby seat and next seat up as well BTW.

In reality you can't go too far wrong with an infant carrier, so if in doubt choose one at random, pick the Which? / ADAC test winner, pick the cheapest, or take whichever is in a bundle with the pram that you want. It's only if you want any special features that it gets complicated. But this is also why I like doing what I do, because I do think it is overwhelming and there are so many factors people get really confused and don't know what to prioritise.

Most people end up with a Maxi Cosi, Cybex, or pram-brand infant carrier and these are absolutely fine.

I will try and find a video of how the Recaro pop out seats attach to a pram (not the whole seat, as the 0-4 seats are way too big!)

The other reason there aren't many is that the spin feature is relatively new on the market and (I've said this before) there isn't a huge amount of demand/need for it for the newborn stage, it's most useful for the toddler stage. It does get more complicated to design for safety the more features that are added into a seat - so a seat for a bigger child + a newborn + a spinning feature + a removable portion is all each an extra layer of complexity so it either gets very expensive, which puts buyers off, or there are compromises made in safety - you see this at the cheaper end of the market, where some suspiciously cheap seats claim to offer every feature under the sun!

Generally it's a good idea to focus on one or two features as must-haves, and anything else as nice-to-have because the more you want in a single seat the more likely it is that seat won't exist or won't be suitable in some other way.

I keep waking up on my back too - this morning my husband came in to say bye before he left (I kicked him out for snoring again) and he rolled me onto my side 🙈

@LaceyMermaid

I hope everything is ok now, fingers crossed for our 20 weeks scans!!

@Daffodil21 my DH reminds me all night if he sees me on my back too 🤣
@Inmypjsagain I hope my legs are spreading and stretching 🤣 it’s my lowers legs that are itchy

I wake up on my back several times a night! I can't fall asleep that way though. I think I remember saying that if it's dangerous, your body will wake itself up - it's something do do with the weight of the baby crushing a major blood vessel (vena cava) I think. So definitely more of a concern the further a long in pregnancy you are. When you have a c-section they actually have to tilt the table a couple of degrees to account for this. It's a very slight amount but it feels like you are going to fall off!

@Inmypjsagain do you have a birthing ball you can sit on at a table instead? I don't think it's necessarily bad but being reclined for long periods of time can exacerbate hip and back pain. being upright is also better for encouraging baby into the optimum birthing position which probably isn't a worry too much right now but since I had a breech baby first time round, I'm perhaps a little over conscious of my body position!

OK so here's how most car seats go onto most of the popular prams, using Maxi Cosi/universal adapters - if you have a pram-specific model like Hauck, Graco etc then it will be different but for anything using this type of adapters, this is how it works:

Watch from 2:10 onwards - earlier is just her showing you the features of the car seat, which is not really relevant.

Universal/Maxi Cosi adapters all work like this - the carrycot or pram seat comes off the frame, the car seat adapters have a bit that slides into attachments on the buggy, and then the car seat just slots on top. Takes about 10 seconds.

And this is how the Recaro pop out carrier goes on:

In this video, the universal/Maxi Cosi adapters are the ones he gets out of the white box and attaches first. Most of them aren't that complicated to attach to a pushchair - it's because it's more of a stroller. So you can mentally replace the first step with the one from the Baby Lady video. The second step where he adds the Recaro Zero.1 elite adapters (from about 2:30) is the part that would be extra. It's like a kind of frame that the car seat sits in.

I'm guessing you can leave the frame thing made up and just store that in your car boot, but it is more of a pain than the universal adapters alone, and does look like it would take up more space.

Just for the sake of comparison here are a couple which don't use adapters and therefore only allow the same-brand infant carrier. These will all be different, but here are a couple of examples of the most common ways they work.

Just for the sake of comparison here are a couple which don't use adapters and therefore only allow the same-brand infant carrier. These will all be different, but here are a couple of examples of the most common ways they work.

Oops sorry did not mean to send that twice!

@PurplePansy05 and @Daffodil21 thank you. I will bring it up with the midwife and see what she says. I would be nice if there was a standard or a minimum number of extra checks for each situation which could be added to if required but I think there’s only a standard number for regular pregnancies.

Hello new posters - welcome!

@LyraShaeLilly, I’m a Monday scan too...

Then Tuesday antenatal clinic with consultant. Where I am there are two pathways - referral into antenatal clinic or high risk clinic and clear definitions of what puts you in each category (RMC puts you in antenatal clinic stream, where a previous loss at >16weeks or e.g IBD would put you in high risk stream). From antenatal clinic they have discussion about next steps for care - and I agree with this being personalised, having a standard would not IMO meet everyone’s needs.

@lucyrp I love Burt’s Bees Mama Bee Oil, I’ve been using it for weeks on itchy stretching skin.

Re car seats - I’m feeling loads more chilled after booking an appointment with independent specialist, basically just going to take the car there and see what they say. Still think we will have a 0-4 as I use the car so infrequently a baby carrier might only be used for 5/6 journeys. I’m more interested in a robust pushchair with carrycot option & slings. Which will get a lot more use, and then an infant seat for the bike when they are old enough.

@BertieBotts you are a 🌟 thank you so much, I’m going to get watching and researching now. Thank you for taking to the time to find those videos and add explanations, it’s so helpful and I appreciate it!

@wimbler I don’t have a birthing ball but I have an exercise ball I could use? I haven’t really thought about or how it might influence baby’s direction! He’s all over the place atm, feels like bouncing on my bladder 😂

Exercise ball and birth ball are the same thing :) You can use it as long as it's big enough to comfortably sit on.

HopefulB this sounds like a good option for you, especially if you can try them in the car as a problem with a lot of 0-4 years seats is that the angle is quite fixed and it can be too upright in some cars. Mind you, this can also be a problem for infant carriers on bases, but it does seem to be a more common issue for 0-4 years seats.

See if the specialist has a newborn doll you can compare in the different seats, as the harness size differs and in some it's too big for a newborn even with the newborn insert in. See how easy it is to do up with the doll in the seat. See if the inserts come out all in one piece, or bit by bit (this is more complicated but does allow you a more custom fit to the age of your child). Check what kind of space you have in the front seat both with the car seat sat upright and with it reclined.

And also check how long you can rear face in it - you'll have a choice of up to 10kg (wouldn't recommend, much too early to forward face), up to 13kg/87cm or up to 18kg/105cm. 18kg is most flexible and gives you the option to rear face as long as you want, whereas 13kg might be reached at about 18 months or it might be over 2 depending on your child's size.

Thank you @BertieBotts, such an amazing fountain of knowledge!

I disagree, a basic standard for RMC patients should be consistent in the UK, any additional needs depending on individual pregnancy can be addressed separately. As it stands, they seem to be doing whatever they feel like, or whatever we have energy to fight for, whereas in reality we shouldn't have to fight at all.

Sorry, posted too soon, MN is playing up today!
Basically what I'm getting at is that an RMC patient is likely to need different care and support throughout the pregnancy, not only in the first trimester, where there is roughly a consistent minimum standard. We shouldn't be learning from MN that person A, B or C has different care in a comparable situation for what we know, i.e. having a healthy pregnancy, being relatively healthy and of similar age. Thi just doesn't make sense. xx

So I had a massive argument with DH just now, I literally hate him tonight and screamed at him that I'll divorce him. I shouldn't have and I don't normally think this way but my hormones are through the roof and he's made me SO angry. The renovation is due to start later this week, he has created SUCH a mess in two bedrooms stripping the wallpaper it's unbelievable. I helped him with one of those, fine. Cleaned most of the mess everywhere else do it doesn't spread. Kept feeding him throughout. The room we did together is in a better state than the other. BUT he did not move our new baby stuff, furniture or any of our still unpacked boxes out of those rooms first (don't ask me why, he's an idiot). Instead he put all this stuff in the middle of each room He is now telling me there isn't enough space in the garage to store all this. The builder is starting in 48 hrs and we're stuck with LOADS of stuff, covered in dust and crap, which has nowhere to go. Rooms need to be empty. I've literally slammed the door and beforehand yelled out it's not my fault he didn't move all this first and checked storage and made all this mess, and I'm not bending my finger anymore. We're in chaos. Chaos.

If you're thinking to move and renovate with raging hormones I have a two word advice for you: DON'T.

😭😤🤬

xx

@PurplePansy05 absolutely. We have finally got a good care plan, but we had to battle for it and it shouldn't be that way. I had a midwife appointment today and she said we wouldn't have got what we have if my husband hadn't made such a fuss.

Ah no that sounds like an absolute nightmare! I wish we could all pitch in and help, it would be done in no time! Don't feel bad about shouting at your DH. It's totally understandable in such a stressful time, plus it sounds like he needs a big nudge in the right direction!

It's also not fair that we have a good care plan but others in the same situation don't. The whole 'system' makes me so angry. Just the sheer lack of understanding, compassion, and even knowledge is shocking.

@Inmypjsagain yes an exercise ball is the same! Just needs to be big enough that your hips are higher than your knees when you are sat on it.

@PurplePansy05 that sounds like such a stressful situation. We are also planning an extension and might start before the baby is born. Thankfully my parents live close by and have enough space for us to move in with them while it’s being done. Just need to work out if it’s better to start before the baby is born or wait until afterwards!

Oh @PurplePansy05 that sounds like such a stressful situation, sorry you're having a rough time of it. Renovating and decorating is always dreadful and doing it now must just be the worst. Hormones are a bitch aren't they! The other day I was so angry at DH I cried because he had cut our pitta bread widthways instead of lengthways - I hadn't told him I wanted it lengthways (was expecting him to be psychic), and widthways was actually better, so pregnancy has clearly made me go loopy. Would a sit down with a cup of tea help? I find the ritual of making tea very calming in itself xx

Aw girls you always know how to cheer one up! @biscuitcat Tea is definitely a good shout. Might throw a cheeky biscuit in with it!

@Daffodil21 Imagine if we all got together IRL! Crikey! We'd have my reno done in no time, but most importantly, we'd probably end up chatting for a week straight 🤣 What a dream team this would be!

@wimbler If you have somewhere else to go that's half a pain. However, I think the key is in who the project manager is in your household. In mine it's definitely me and it shows in moments like this - DH means well and he has done a lot, but he is utterly chaotic and disorganised. I just don't understand people who can't do stuff in order or actually finish one thing before moving on. This is him to a T and I get really stressed out even looking at this. I'm mostly annoyed he can't just get his act together even now to do things properly and not to annoy me at 5.5 months pregnant. Some peace of mind would be greatly appreciated and instead I'm looking at him and this mess now and think WTF. And how on earth he'll manage with a baby. Anyone else's DH with head in the clouds a lot of the time? How did they cope with your LO, and more importantly, how did you cope with both?? xx

@PurplePansy05 I've had many many refurbishment & hormone related stresses at my DH over several pregnancies & properties. They married us for better or worse AND we're putting our bodies through pregnancy & birth to best their children. The least they can do is put up with a few hormones.
Good luck with the refurb, after 9 months in a static I've only a few weeks til I can move back into our nearly finished house. I'll warn you though... tradesmen can be infuriating. Beware the real misogynists... they infuriated me no end. You'll soon realise, they're the ones that ask you for a brew but your husband the building questions.
Don't give yourself too much to think or worry about either, keep colour schemes simple. Decor can be an afterthought for Mat leave xx