Pregnancy after loss - Autumn babies 2021

[Pancakes7]

Hi All, I have only just got my BFP and it's still faint atm. I had an mmc in May 2018, I then gave birth to my son May 2019. I had another mmc July 2020 and have been ttc ever since. I just got my BFP yesterday, so very early days. I'm not ready to join both groups quite yet. I thought this could be a space for us all going through pregnancy after loss. As we all understand the nerves/anxiety that go with this. I hope it's useful.

A bit of back ground on me. I'm 33, married. I have a 20 month old son. I haven't returned to work yet since maternity. I returned for 2 weeks then was put on furlough. I will be going back part time, doing 3 days.

@Strawberry08 Yeah I always need a digital to say the word pregnant for me to stop testing.

@PumpkinEverything that's so good you get the extra scan from epu. I wish I was offered one. My husband has said I can have 2 x private scans (as they're not cheap) and can choose when they are. I'm thinking do I go 7 weeks and 10 weeks? Or 8 weeks & 16 weeks 🙈

Thanks for the warm welcome, definitely feels a bit more real now! I'm going to ring the midwife tomorrow and sort out booking in. Around here, it's mainly telephone appointments unless they need bloods or anti D. I'm planning a private scan in a couple of weeks I think. I'm quite anxious about going to the private scan place as it was the only positive scan experience I had with my son last year, all the NHS scans were emergency ones. Does anyone know what the situation is with letting partners attend at the moment? Last year was horrific, I spent hours in a&e alone and had to fight to get my husband in with me once we knew our son was dying. The thought of going into the hospital is quite upsetting so I don't think I'd manage alone. I know they published guidance in Dec recognising the value of fathers at scans/appointments but that was before this lockdown, so who knows.

@imisscoffee I think it can depend on your area but overall nhs scans you have to go alone. However the private place that I've been to you can take your partner with you. So hopefully private places near you will be the same. I also was in the hospital on my own when things went wrong last year. I had surgical management in the end and because of covid it was being carried out in a private hospital which did mean my husband could come which was a big relief. Fingers crossed for you, I know it's an anxious time especially when your previous loss was a bit further on than some of us. But remember that doesn't affect your chances of a successful pregnancy. Chances are this time it will be okay. Try and keep positive as much as you can and keep busy. It's worth phoning your private place to ask if partners are allowed as it might put your mind at rest.

@Pancakes7 there we go, I went and got one to give me the closure of stopping testing, and all good! I shall now not do any more 😊

@Strawberry08 Yeeesss!!! 👍🏻 Brilliant! Now we both need to stop! lol.

@Strawberry08 sorry if I already asked this but when are you going to book an early scan for? I'm undecided

Thanks @Pancakes7, I'm sorry you had to go alone too. Apparently window to the womb are still allowing partners from the same household so that's reassuring. I'm at the hospital on 8th March for my son's post mortem report so will ask the consultant what the situation is.

Yeah think we all need to step away from the tests 😂😂
So hard to know with the scans @Pancakes7 I think in my mind I’m only thinking between now and 12 weeks as my brain is finding it hard to think beyond that, so I’d be asking for all the scans now 😂

@imisscoffee yeah I think it does depend on your area. My husband was allowed into my private one (with window to the womb) and then when I went to my NHS one it was in health clinic and they let him in there too, and he was then allowed in when we went to EPU for the scan that told me it was a MMC, and then the follow up after that and when I got my bloods done he was there. When I got my surgical management he was only allowed to bring me in to the ward and then had to leave straight away and then come back when I was allowed to get picked up.

All three of my previous pregnancies once I found out I was pregnant I felt really ill so nauseous and a migraine and ended up in bed for a couple of days. I thought after getting that positive digital today that I would feel like that and completely anxious. But for some reason I just feel normal. Hopefully it just means I'm calmer this time and being more realistic I guess that worrying won't help. Weird

@PumpkinEverything I don't know whether to do a scan at seven weeks and then 10 weeks as waiting until eight weeks seems impossible. But I don't want to go to 7 weeks and be told it looks small have to wait two weeks again. It's a toughie!!

@imisscoffee I'm so sorry you've got to go through that. I hope they find some answers for you to help this time around. X

Can I ask a question re your discharge/mucus? TMI I know but I had a lot of creamy and just now stringy mucus, had a bit of cramping too and thinking the worst!

@gizmo167 I think creamy discharge is associated with early pregnancy so don't worry. I haven't had any yet but I'm sure I had that when I was pregnant my son.

@gizmo167 Can't seem to attach a photo here but if you google pregnancy creamy discharge it comes up with a website saying at the top that this is completely normal and will increase as pregnancy goes on

@Pancakes7 thanks hun, I totally panicked, had a bit of cramping and felt wet, working today so went to bathroom and kept "checking" internally, fully expecting to see blood, just didnt feel right in my tummy!

@gizmo167 oh my God I completely understand the horrible fear any time you feel wet you worry it's going to be blood. I still have a bit of a fear each time I go to the loo.

Yea isnt it @Pancakes7, especially I think more for me today/tomorrow as it was this stage that I started to bleed and lost baby same CD as tomorrow will be!

@gizmo167 oh gosh no wonder you're stressed today. I'm sure you'll be fine trying to keep busy and not think too much about it. Which I know it's hard to do.

@PumpkinEverything how are you feeling this afternoon? I have definitely found I get good days and bad days! It’s such a horrible time! Especially when symptoms can be so different between our own pregnancy’s and mc’s - it’s like you haven’t got anything to pin it on! I still haven’t booked in with the midwife yet as it seems like I’m doing woshful thinkng. I’m thinking of doing it Sat after my scan if all is well x

I’ve been feeling like that today too @gizmo167 keep thinking there’s going to be something everytime I go to the bathroom! I’m sure you just want the next two days to have passed 🤞🏻

I’ve calmed myself a bit as today has went on @Bellabubble but don’t feel as upbeat and positive as I have done the rest of the week. Just having to tell myself that everything is out of my control right now, I can’t get a scan even if I wanted to as it’s too early to see anything, and a test is just going to tell me I’m pregnant. Just a lot easier said than done! 😔 I think that’s a good idea to get booked in after the scan! If everything looks okay then you’ll want to get the process started so you aren’t waiting too long 😊

@PumpkinEverything if it helps at all - i felt/still feel exactly the same! I started off feeling so positive - I had a vibe that this one would be the one for me - but as the weeks have gone on doubt has crept it, and none of my symptoms are the same as the last 2 (which could be good, or not lol!) I’m thinking once I have a date for the 12 week scan (all being well) I might book another one for in the middle so I can just feel reassured!

The checking for blood each time you're at the loo is definitely a thing. It's exhausting. Apparently my local hospital can book early scans in EPU after a gp or midwife referral, not sure if that helps anyone here. Just ordered 'Pregnancy after Loss' by Zoe Clark-Coats, hopefully that'll help.

@imisscoffee I know when I was pregnant with my son the early scan did help but the 12 week scan was the point when I did relax more. I definitely still had wobbles but that was the main point where I felt I could try and enjoy it.

I started thinking about scans and got myself feeling all anxious. So I'm going to try and just focus on each day as it comes 🙈🤞🏻🌈

Girls I think same thing is happening again, I dont feel right & still having discharge with a tiny speck of brown in it too