Due in December 07 - look at that bump!

[buzzybee]

OK hopefully no-one else has started a new thread!

Couldn't agree more about the irritating comments on size of bump. Have been fielding them all week and as you say I think most people just use it as a conversation starter while others think they're complimenting you. However last night went out to a movie with a girlfriend (and her DS and my DD) and when she made the inevitable comment I couldn't restrain myself any longer and said something like "yes so I've been told by 5 people today" - bit mean I know but she then apologised and I thought I'd made my point. Wouldn't you know it but saw her again this morning in the local cafe and she started going on about it again - asking me if I thought I was bigger than last time etc!!! Obviously its just something we're going to have to bear for the next 10 weeks or so.

Sorry, rant over...

Wizzka - as others have said the beauty of opting for homebirth is that you can change your mind right up to the end. That's not possible in reverse.

MotherofZ - definitely have the interview and dress to impress, regardless of the bump. I wouldn't mention the bump first - they're bound to ask anyway but hopefully towards the end of the interview. In a tight labour market you may find they're even willing to offer you certain maternity benefits to get you on board if they like you enough!

hey buzzy
bet no-one is usually up when you are?

hey buzzy
bet no-one is usually up when you are?

Pasting the latest list again

ENGLAND

Bristol
mimicakey 6.12.07 first, girlie

Cambridgeshire
cazzybabs 30/11/07//3/12/07 No3 2dds

Cheshire
Ambi 04/12/07 - No1 - Expecting a GIRL!!

Co. Durham
skidaddle 11/12/07 - 1DD (nearly 2)- Expecting a BOY!

East Anglia
becklespeckle 27/12/07 - 2 DSs (7&4.5) - possibly a girl.

East Sussex
Bambino1andbump 15/12/07 -no1- dd(3)

Gloucestershire
claraq, 1 Dec - 1DD, expecting a suprise

Hampshire
Housemum - 29th Dec - 2 DDs (14 & 4)

London
Mrswizz, 2nd Dec, No.1 - Expecting a Boy
MixedMama 31 Dec - 1 DS (22 months)
Suey2 6th Dec 1st baby ?sex
Cressida1979 - 24 Dec - first baby

Midlands
MotherofZ, 30th December - SURPRISE!

Newcastle Upon Tyne
Fifisworld- 18th Dec- 1ds 17 month- expecting a boy
PeckaRolloverAgain Due 27th December with a GIRL!

Warwickshire
insywinsyspider 18th Dec No.2 - 1 DS (16 months)

SCOTLAND

Borders
thelady - 4 Dec - 0 kids - baby

Glasgow
Lucy - 17 Dec - 1 DD (19mths) - baby

WALES

Cardiff
MacDoodle 26 Dec - 1DD (6) - a girl

NEW ZEALAND

Buzzybee 22 Dec - 1DD (5) expecting a girl

Hi Suey!!! You're right about that for sure!! I'm guessing you can't sleep? I'm planning to do a spot of Mumsnetting after LO is born while doing mid-night feeds!

Much empathy re bump. Fortunately people are being nice to me and are at least saying it is all bump! As a 6 footer, you are prob the same?

yep cant sleep.
really upset about my staff member announcing her departure for mid february next year. She is a personal friend

Sorry to hear about that. Are you upset as you won't have her around or do you feel her leaving is something personal?

Its so easy for almost anything to interrupt sleep now isn't it?

You'd think being tall would make my bump less prominent wouldn't you? I think what's happening is I'm pushing it out a bit. Keep trying to hold my back straight but I do think that's maybe harder when you're tall?? Or is that just me rationalising!!!?

I came into work to catch up on a couple of things and haven't done any yet!

To elaborate. This friend has worked for me for about 4 years. She got PG after 3 months. then took 10 months off for her mat leave (not her fault). I have been very flexible with her, reducing her hours when she was sick and letting her come back very part time to begin with. I ahve let her take big chunks of time off (up to 5 weeks at once). I have not whimpered when she has had to take time off for childcare reasons. I have this silly misapprehension that if you are nice to people as an employer, they won't screw you.
But, she tells me this week, that she will be leaving when LO is 2 months old. Saying at least she has given me lots of notice.
I am really really upset. I will have to interview and replace her when LO has just (JUST) been born, or go back to work early myself.

I am finding it very difficult to keep my back flat now! The front of my hips is really tightening up.
I guess since it is my first, I don't mind the comments, because it reminds me of the excitement to come. This baby business still seems pretty unreal most of teh time!

I also have terrible pain in my left shoulder most of the time. It used to be just one I carried something but now most of the time. Thinking partly OOS (from mouse) but made worse by bras so think largely due to my increasing size on top. Have been seeing a physio but not made any diff. Think I will try my GP next and maybe she can refer me to someone. Sorry - you must regret ever mentioning what you do!!

Unfortunately I think there will always be room for conflict when you work with friends - particularly when one of you is the "boss" or manager. Did she say why she's leaving? She's probably feeling bad now too? I guess if she's going to leave some time in the next 6 months, further away with lots of notice is better?

Have you moved to Pimlico yet?

moving in 4 weeks. Can't wait!
Shoulder pain is prob postural- try not to let yourself slump- keep chest lifted sitting and standing and stop shoulders coming up and forwards. Get in the pool if poss.

Re employee. Truth is that it would be easier if she left now- then at least i can interview and appoint before LO arrives. Not enough work to employ and pay an extra pair of hands for say, 2 months, so will have to do it later. Have just had a member of staff leave, so numbers are down a little, but should bounce back. Difficult to predict at this stage.

anyway- going to try and get some more sleep. Thanks for listening to my rant!

Maybe you should try and sit down with her and thrash through the issues you both have to try and reach a satisfactory compromise? As your friend surely she would be willing to do that? She probably thinks she should give as much notice as possible given the other person's resignation. Would she be willing to train a new person who started just before you went on leave? Everyone is different but I felt pretty OK and able to cope with most things by 6 weeks post birth of DD if that helps give you a timeframe.

The physio has been working on my spine and giving me lots of exercises - but I think she may have been focusing on the wrong place (have been seeing her for about 8 weeks at least) and the exercises seem to make it worse. have been hanging it there thinking it would take time to get better but ahs got worse am now wondering if its ligament damage - think was brought on initially by DD yanking down on my right arm.

Agree about size of bump - girl at work said to me Friday - my god you are huge you just get bigger every day - how insulting especially as all at work saw my weight loss journey last year from 15+ stone to 11 and a bit before I got pregnant - TBH don't think I am that big apart from boobs ...was MUCH bigger on first and some days if babe not moving start panicking am not really pregnant ....
Suey sorry bout your friend BIG pitfall of employeeing people who are friends - I try not to get too friendly with our employees (about 15 girls who are all great)..and I am friendly person and youngest of partners so they are closer to me on age than partners....but really don't want to be in position of friend and employee ..our business has big turnover and our manager has tight hold on purse strings
Sooooo looking to time off with this babe only had 3 months with DD1 and it was hard as went back to full time lots extra time with her.....this time 6 months off and only going back 3 days
Countdown now 10 weeks to go last day 7 December Am finding my long days almost unbearable....10 hours of slog very hard went to be with DD last night at 9pm ....

Just looking at list - Cressida due Xmas Eve and me Boxing Day..none expected on Xmas Day ??? Wonder if any of us will have Xmas Day babies ??

ENGLAND

Bristol
mimicakey 6.12.07 first, girlie

Cambridgeshire
cazzybabs 30/11/07//3/12/07 No3 2dds

Cheshire
Ambi 04/12/07 - No1 - Expecting a GIRL!!

Co. Durham
skidaddle 11/12/07 - 1DD (nearly 2)- Expecting a BOY!

East Anglia
becklespeckle 27/12/07 - 2 DSs (7&4.5) - possibly a girl.

East Sussex
Bambino1andbump 15/12/07 -no1- dd(3)

Gloucestershire
claraq, 1 Dec - 1DD, expecting a suprise

Hampshire
Housemum - 29th Dec - 2 DDs (14 & 4)

London
Mrswizz, 2nd Dec, No.1 - Expecting a Boy
MixedMama 31 Dec - 1 DS (22 months)
Suey2 6th Dec 1st baby ?sex
Cressida1979 - 24 Dec - first baby

Midlands
MotherofZ, 30th December - SURPRISE!

Newcastle Upon Tyne
Fifisworld- 18th Dec- 1ds 17 month- expecting a boy
PeckaRolloverAgain Due 27th December with a GIRL!

Stockton-on-Tees
Bouncingturtle - 23rd Dec - 0 kids - boy/girl/puppy who knows
Warwickshire
insywinsyspider 18th Dec No.2 - 1 DS (16 months)

SCOTLAND

Borders
thelady - 4 Dec - 0 kids - baby

Glasgow
Lucy - 17 Dec - 1 DD (19mths) - baby

WALES

Cardiff
MacDoodle 26 Dec - 1DD (6) - a girl

NEW ZEALAND

Buzzybee 22 Dec - 1DD (5) expecting a girl

Just added me then forgot to do a message! Have been catching up what I have missed!
Looks like we all have the same worries - money!
Plus bump paranoia as well, I too have had similar comments...
Enjoy your weekend, weather's a bit grotty oop North!

oo buzzy- does sound like she has got it wrong- try and ask for a second opinion if you can.
IME it is very easy to 'overtreat' a PG woman- you always have to have the brakes off a bit. SOunds like it must be a hypermobility (PG related) issue. THe shoulder joint is like a golf ball on a tee- not a ball and socket, and it entirely maintained by the integrity of ligaments and muscular support. Having said that, pain fron the shoulder joint is usually felt in the upper arm (where a tattoo is traditionally sited) It can be above the shoulder if it is the AC joint but anything between the neck and shoulder or around the shoulder blade is almost always spinal. Where is your pain?

I have emailed my pal- to ask if she could possibly delay her departure until May: don't know if her dates are fixed, and explained my reason for asking. We will discuss it on Monday. At least she can discuss it with her husband over the weekend (they are relocating to Aus) and hopefully we can have an unemotional and constructive discussion about it on Monday and come to some sort of compromise. AS I said, I would rather she left at chrismas

macdoodle- I ahve to say, it has totally put me off employing women of a certian ages and women with children which is an awful thing to say!

Yep, can understand that both as a manager and as a pregnant employee!!
Very tricky situation for both employee and employer...
Suey I hope you managed to get the situation resolved to both your benefit. Just what you need right now, more stress

SUEY2 - could you consider advanced interviews should she defo still be leaving at that awkward time?? you would have to advertise the post nationally or at least wider spreda than intended, but my brother did this and as a result got two excellent members of staff who have never let him down yet... maybe worth thinking about..? there may be a lot of people wanting to move to your area, but work is stopping them? and hey i agree with you on the being put off mothers and certain age women... and i am a mum of 25 so prob fit the category... as an employer it is certainly far from ideal and i think she should be grateful at your 'laxness' (thats so not a word is it?) especially considering at the time you werent in the same position and 'in the know' yourself! it will work out... these things always do.

Hmm VBAC versus elective - C Section??? i guess it depends why you had to have the caesarean first time round really ay?? and everyones preference is different. i had an emergency section with my first as after 72 hours i was STILL 4cm dilated and baby got distressed. i found the recovery not to bad, but long! second time round i opted for a VBAC, i wanted to see if my body could do it and experience a more natural labour so iw ent ahead. it wasnt easy during the labour and it bloody hurt, but lie the cliche says when you hold your bub for first time its like it all happened to someone else...(then you need to pee and realise with a shock it was you!! Quick tip: pee in the shower or immersed water with water against bits to stop the sting!)but in all honestly i MUCH preffered the VBAC, i recovered within a week or two rather than 6 weeks, i slept comfortabley, no clothes rubbed scars and i could pick up my eldest without worrying about rupturing etc.

I am going for a VBAC again this time, but as i said everyone is different.

As for epidurals... well... i had one with ds1 and they ahd to top it up 3 times, then it only worked on one side so still needed further pain relief and then after the birth i suffered with headaches for weeks as a result of it being improperly placed.

HAVING SAID THAT:: during the last few minutes of giving birth to ds2 (after being dead against another epidural throughout entire pregnancy) i scream 'I WANT AN EPIDURAL!' MW tells me i cant have one, its too late, to which i reply ' BUT I NEED AN EPIDURAL!' 'YOU CANT HAVE AN EPIDURAL LOVE,' says the midwife, 'WE'RE HAVING A BABY INT HE NEXT FEW MINUTES' then i am heard halfway down hallway shouting 'I DONT WANT A F**KING BABY I WANT AN EPIDURAL!!' minutes later i am all gooey eyed and loved up holding bub.

i think epidurals have their place for sure! i'm not planning one this time, but i'm not writing it off either.!

god my post is so long! sorry!

Kerioke
I had to chuckle at your post about epidurals. That will be me! I am terrified that I will get to the point that I want an epidural and be told I can't because it is too late. On the plus side at least you know by then you are nearly there! (I hope...). I had a c-section last time because DD was breech so unless the same happens this time - or there is some other medical reason for needing a section - I will certainly be trying for a natural birth.
Could be the best or worst decision I ever make - only time will tell.

Suey, sorry you are having trouble with your friend/employee. I think you have done the right thing to ask her if she can stay on a bit - at least if she can't she will hopefully realise that if she left earlier it would be easier on you.

I think that when you get to this stage in pregnancy other people are quite bored with it (not in a nasty way). Pregnancy is long enough when it is you going through it and TBH once you have the bump not much else happens in other people's eyes so maybe that is why they feel the need to comment on the size of it all the time? I know lots of people expect me to be further along than I am but I think my belly just looks so big because I am small. If I was taller or bigger framed then it would probably look more in proportion.

Hi,

I've just added myself in. I finish up at work on 26th October (I am taking a couple of wks holiday before my mat leave starts) so I am hoping to spend more time on MN then!

ENGLAND

Bristol
mimicakey 6.12.07 first, girlie

Cambridgeshire
cazzybabs 30/11/07//3/12/07 No3 2dds

Cheshire
Ambi 04/12/07 - No1 - Expecting a GIRL!!

Co. Durham
skidaddle 11/12/07 - 1DD (nearly 2)- Expecting a BOY!

East Anglia
becklespeckle 27/12/07 - 2 DSs (7&4.5) - possibly a girl.

East Sussex
Bambino1andbump 15/12/07 -no1- dd(3)

Gloucestershire
claraq, 1 Dec - 1DD, expecting a suprise

Hampshire
Housemum - 29th Dec - 2 DDs (14 & 4)

London
Mrswizz, 2nd Dec, No.1 - Expecting a Boy
MixedMama 31 Dec - 1 DS (22 months)
Suey2 6th Dec 1st baby ?sex
Cressida1979 - 24 Dec - first baby

Midlands
MotherofZ, 30th December - SURPRISE!

Newcastle Upon Tyne
Fifisworld- 18th Dec- 1ds 17 month- expecting a boy
PeckaRolloverAgain Due 27th December with a GIRL!

Stockton-on-Tees
Bouncingturtle - 23rd Dec - 0 kids - boy/girl/puppy who knows
Warwickshire
insywinsyspider 18th Dec No.2 - 1 DS (16 months)

SCOTLAND

Borders
thelady - 4 Dec - 0 kids - baby

Glasgow
Lucy - 17 Dec - 1 DD (19mths) - baby

Edinburgh
Louise76 - 9th Dec - 1st baby, don't know the sex

WALES

Cardiff
MacDoodle 26 Dec - 1DD (6) - a girl

NEW ZEALAND

Buzzybee 22 Dec - 1DD (5) expecting a girl