Due Dec 2007 on the wind down?

[suey2]

has this worked?

Mixedmama - you say you don't see your inlaws; does this mean that they will suddenly turn up as if nothing has happened after the baby is born? If not, can you just avoid them for as long as possible and not invite them round? It's hard for me to give you any advice as apart from a BIL who lives in Florida I don't have any IL's and my own parents are pretty hands off but very helpful when needed.

Sorry you are stressing about all of this, last thing you need.

Mixedmama - poor you. It is hard when your hormones are going on overdrive. I find similarly that family situations are really stressful. I know they mean well but it is so easy to get railroaded into doing what they say because I know they are trying to help and because I'm so inexperienced with this kind of thing. I feel grateful for their opinions, but its often not what's right for me. I find my frame of mind is much more fragile these days and to deal with family is harder. The slightest promt triggers old resentments too.

I presume they will want to come round and see baby, dont know really, maybe they wont they had to be convinced to come to the hospital to see DS1. But I think DH would be quite upset if i said they werent welcome. Might just use it as an opportunity to sleep, I just cant play the dutiful host.

Congrats on the confirmation for Islamabad BTW. Very exciting.

Hi everyone. I haven't been posting at all lately but have been reading and keeping up with everyone's news. Very of all the talk of moving abroad.

Haven't been having the greatest of times with the pregnancy which is one of the main reasons I haven't been posting. Don't want to bring you all down. Having problems with hypertension and the baby's growth which is stressing me out no end. I swear this will be my first and last. Was so looking forward to being off on maternity leave in two weeks and getting loads done. Now I'm signed off sick with strict instructions to do nothing. The house is falling down around me.

Anyway I just needed a bit of a moan. Glad to hear everyone is healthy and well, if not exhausted from lugging around big bumps.

Ohhh Beachbunni sorry to hear that you are having such problems. try to look at it as a positive thing, have nice long baths, read, watch dvds that you cnat usually watch (all the crappy chick flicks). Indulge.

I have been mixedmama - thank goodness I got the sky reordered otherwise I'd be lost. Also developing a dangerous habit for internet shopping

Mixedmama, you poor thing to have to worry about your inlaws as well as the normal pregnancy/birth/post birth stress. If you're bfing at least you will need to stay close to the baby in the early weeks. Is your DH supportive of you or does he side with inlaws? My inlaws were fab with me until I gave birth, ever since they always say things like "we're not bothered about seeing you it's X we want to see", they have got a bit better lately when we've been on the odd drive out to a nice restaurant etc but they are totally fixated with DD. I find it weird but feel more sorry for DH as they treat him the same.

Clara - wow big move for you then, at least you know now so you can plan and find out everything you need to.

Neuro, someone else recommended that film to me the other day, think I'll have to drag DH along though as not his usual cup of tea.

Beachbunni, sorry to hear you're having a crap time at the moment. How many wks are you now?

Try and relax as much as you can - are they giving you growth scans?

beachbunni - i am a lazy so and so but if i was told not to do anything then i know i would suddenly want to / need to do everything. Typical.

Loucee - I think i am prob worrying myslef needlessly anyway, they had to be coaxed into coming to the hospital when they lived across the road, cant imagine them traipsing 45 minutes across London. Just getting worked up for nothing really.

MM - from what you have said previously it seems like your in-laws are every traditional in their way of coping with babies, which probably stems from the Bengali (and generally Indian sub-continent) way of life where everyone tries to have a hand in things when a new baby arrives. The probably think they are helping but obviously not and I know it can be hard for you, as a daughter-in-law, to say anything negative to them. Definitely up to your husband to defend you when things are not what you like and it might be hard but be strong and polite and tell them when they do something you don't like.

Clara - at your opportunity to go abraod for a while. I think it will be such a rich cultural experience to live in another country for a while....can you take me with you (DD and DH too!!)

I dont really want anyone to fight my corner anymore, just have no interest in them. There way is not so much about culture as about me disagreeing, i disagree they ignore, then they compeltely ignore me when i visit and talk about me to guests like i am not there, that is not the same.

It has been 18 months and i am still going on about it, altho our situation now works fine, so trying not to get too hung up.

I will be a SAHM for at least nine months - just worried that this experience is going to really make me ultra possesive of this baby and I dont want that as i sort of feel a little like I will keep this one so to myself for fear of "losing" him that I might resent DS1 for not being so close. I know that is slightly barmy but all kinds of strange things going on in my head.

Yes Claraq that is SO cool. Congratulations on your future new home!

Mixedmama - could you say to your husband that you really need it just to be you him and new baby, and your little boy, for a week? It is tricky with any nationality/religion as everyone wants to see a new baby dont' they and be as helpful, even if really they're in the way.
At least if you breastfeed you could slip away to a quiet room everytime baby is hungry and if you feed on demand then you'll be getting lots of time away on your own!

Loucee - Knocked Up is for men as much as women I think. The male characters are ace and it really shows having a baby from both sides of the fence. Very fair, so think your partner would enjoy it.

I should've gone into PR!

Thx ladies.... think i need to log off for a while as i am gettign myself into a bit of a state and am about to cry - stupid hormones.... sorry i have made it all about me yet again. Back in a bit.

knocked up was ace! saw 2 weeks ago with DH. But quite a prolonged labour scene including visuals of baby's head crowning. DH was pale and shaking afterwards! I only hope he didn't hear that delivery on the news last night- a 999 recording of the husband delivering his wife's baby when the MW was stuck in traffic- otherwise the moment the contractions start we will be off to the hospital! None of the nice bath at home thing.

Beachbunni- feeling for you. Although i have been pretty lucky with this PG (diabetes or no diabetes) the physical limitations I find very depressing: finally having to admit that i am not superwoman and that this PG lark is actually a big deal (if anyone starts to tell me about women in the developing world dropping them with ease and immediately going back to ploughing the field- i think i will punch them.) After a lot of emotional turmoil over the last few days i have finally, yes finally, accepted that i am no longer in control of this and that i have to work within the confines of what is my individual pregnancy. That is why I am stopping clinical work so early- and have massively cut down until i leave. Brain still works, fortunately so at least I can get on with everything else that needs organising with work and home and not put too much pressure on DH. Having finally accepted this, and that I am not a failure, I am no longer biting his or anyone else's head off.
Ignore the dust- it will only gather when your LO arrives anyway. And dusting will not make you a better mother.
And please whinge to your heart's content- we are all taking turns at it and it is fab to know when you are not the only one feeling suddenly depressed with this stage when it is still quite a long time to go, but your body has decided to feel really shite and pressed the brake very firmly. IYKWIM.

Shuffling in here to say "ARGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH". Im having a really crap day.

I know I rarely post anymore but I read every day - coming up to 27 wks with no 3 and Im just so ready for it be over but so not ready for having 3 kids!

Had NO sleep last night - heartburn, kicks, needing to wee every 2 minutes, couldnt get comfy and today have been a ball of anger. Snapping at kids and feeling sorry for myself

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

thats better

thanks!

Mixedmama - big {{{hugs}}} for you - you seem like you need some at the moment. New baby and PILs situations are always difficult without the extra stresses you have to deal with. I have no real advice as I have no PILs but try some counselling hun, it might help, especially as they sound like they are awful to you. Also, it is natural to want to keep your baby close to you and people will soon tire of the baby when there is a much more interesting toddler around! That is what I found happened when DS2 was born anyway.
Beachbunni, sorry to hear you are having such a rough time of it. Don't worry about bringing the thread down, keep posting anyway, whether your pregnancy is going roughly or smoothly we are all in this together. How are things going with baby's growth?
Claraq - moving abroad sounds great! You seem really excited about it all, am quite !

mixedmama - you poor thing - have you spoken to your DH about what you want to do when ds2 is born? What does he think about the whole situation? I completely understand your reasons to want to bf as well - of course you don't want them grabbing YOUR baby and deciding how and when to feed him.

Think a counsellor is a great idea as well as a firm plan of action made with your DH. You will be particularly fragile after the birth and the last thing you need is interfering inlaws. Rememeber he is your baby and you are the one who decides how he is going to be brought up, you and your DH and no-one else - they have to respect this and that is that.

beachbunni - sorry to hear you're having a horrible time - is hypertension high blood pressure? Have you got anything nice to do while on sick leave? Lots of nice baths and a good book and some crap telly maybe?

pecka - yes I was the same the night before - literally no sleep - horrendous - but slept brilliantly last night to make up for it - hope you are the same tonight!

fifi - yes I am sick of being pg too - isn't it amazing how we all feel the same - I suppose that's the point of an antenatal club! The only good thing is that there isn;t too long to go now..

oh yes and (sorry for three posts in a row) - congrats claraq - fantastic news and still v. !

i slept really badly on Sunday night and felt awful yesterday. But last night slept the sleep of the gods, didn't even have to wee in the night and so am being v nice to everone today.

Felt mean, low, negative etc etc yesterday. Mumsnet cheered me up though.

Im pleased to hear you felt the same - Ive been thinking its all a big mistake today feel so crap and angry and depressed!

btw has anyone else got really really itchy ribs just under your boobs? I've had it for about a week now and it's driving me mad - just hiked up my top without thinking in my shared office to have a good scatch No-one reacted so hopefully they didn't notice...

it must be your skin stretching i think. I get itchy too. And the skin on top of my ribs has gone all weirdy weird despite slapping on the creams and oils. am worried it means stretch marks but there aren't any marks, so not sure.

Is it where your bra is sitting skidadd? may be irritating the skin: are you making sure you cream up all the way up there? I have a variety of potions that i slap on every day, now.