Due Oct 2007 - This little Piggy had a section, this little piggy stayed at home!

[HonorMatopoeia]

Ok... this is scary.... never started a thread in ante-natal before! Please come and join me ladies, it's lonely here!

I've just thought of the example I used with my MIL law when she wanted my mother to come to the wedding and said 'oh, come on, you only get 1 mother...'

I was 11 and had been playing the 'cello for 6 months. Had taken grade 1 and was waiting for the result. My dad took the envelope to work as it was addressed to me and he knew my mother would open it. He got home, gave me the letter, my mother grabbed it off me, opened it and told me I'd failed. I was left totally crestfallen. Dad was confused as surely my teacher wouldn't have entered me if I couldn't at least passed and it turned out I'd passed with 139/150 -a high distinction She just stood and watched me cry. There are many many other examples/instances.

Emotional abuse is such a horrible thing as you don't know the rules, they change daily (even hourly depending on the persons mood) and you are pretty helpless to stop it.

God I love my Ollie so much more than she did me that I just feel in awe of the responsibility sometimes. I'm just so ridiculously proud about anything he does

Kitti I have a load of different ones to try for when my LO arrives. The suggested number you need is 12. You dont need a tumble dryer at all, either hanging on line or airer should be fine.
Good Luck
lisa

god I don't even know what to say about that muppet. shocking. but I don't think you have to worry about Ollie or Henry - they will absolutely know how you feel about them, always. and how much thought and effort you bring to caring for them. I think that that is the only good thing that comes from crap parents - you make so much more effort not to repeat the past. You should be really proud of yourself and how far you've come.

Muppet that story is just heartbreaking and you are so right emotional abuse is utterly corrosive and and unpredictable. I work in the fostering service and so many of the young people we work with have been scared by emotional abuse. Being told you will never amount to anything day after day is equally as damaging as being beaten in my opinion. Sounds to me though that you know the true value of unconditional love and what child needs anything more than that?

Hi Lisa some of theones I have got are bamboo and are gorgeously soft but when I pre-washed them as reccommended they took an age to dry. I have waaaay more than 12 already but did get them off e-bay so not to much cash spent.

Muppet, your sorry is a sad one but atleast you have a happy ending with your 2 wonderful boys. I work for SS and emotional abuse is the one that hits hardest in the long term effects I know you'll be a brill mum to this LO too.

Kitti: I have more than 12 too so dont worry. I have a lot of tot bots, a few pre folds and a few others to try. My sister is a user of reusable and suggested tot bot nappies and motherease wraps as best. My friend has given me a pack of newborn nappies to use in hospital but as soon as we're home its washables all the way I have got most of my nappies from people on Mumsnet and my sister has sold me all of her sets as her dd is potty training.

Hugs to all that need them today.

Has anyone heard from LES? She's meant to be bringing her cat to me tonight but havent heard anything since she said she was able going inot hospital. Hope she's ok.
Lisa

muppet-more hugs to you-agree emotional abuse is awful, don't want to comment on your mother, but a few names came to mind, hope that doesn't offend you, you are a wonderful mother and person and Ollie and Henry will be very proud of you no doubt

kitti-i've got cotton bottoms, don't even know where you start with them, so i'm sure we'll have a few mishaps along the way, i've got a few too many also

who is LES's text buddy, have they heard anything?

ho to everyone else, sorry for missing you out, still extreemly tired, just been to pick dd up and she informed me she's going to drama, so i don't need to pick her up till 4, great! will have to trudge back there in half an hour.

am meant to be going to a clarvioance(sp) evening tonight, hopefully can have an hours nap after i've got dd in front of the telly

Im LES text buddy, and havent heard anything. the last message i saw was on here, and she said she couldnt text people as she had no credit.

Can I ask those of you with older school age children what they are planning for babies first day home? I have had a meeting today at school about whats going to be happening in reception calss this term. I spoke to the teacher after about tanisha and how I didnt want her to feel pushed out when i bring the baby home and would it be ok to keep her off for the first day. She is new to the school but said she understood but it needed to be discussed with reception (eg headteacher ect) I went to reception and asked the lady there, she was sooo rude. She spoke to me like i was stupid, she said if i kept Tani off it would unathoried and aftre all it is her education!! Like I dont know that. grrr. Im tempted to keep her off anyway, and risk the unathoried, what do you thhink? Its not that DH wont be home to take her but just feel she will thik shes being pushed out

Oh a good note the teacher said the children would be having phonic's sent home in book bag this week to start them off. tanisha does these at home easy, so spoke to the teacher who told me she was aware of this already and was therefore putting Tanisha up a level, said shes one of the top in her class for letters and especially numbers, even said she was a teachers dream. Imso proud of her sorry had to share.

lisa

Lisa, I think you will best be able to judge what Tanisha needs. I have a 5 yr old and 7 yr old, and I think for them it will be important to keep their routines and lives going, so that they don't think the baby will jeapordise everything! I know that my younger one is very excited at the thought of being able to go into school and telling her class about the baby when it has arrived. Tbh if you think it's better for Tanisha to stay off for a day, then just do it. She sounds as if she's settled in really well and there won't be a problem. For mine I think that if they were at home when the baby came home it would just seem to them that all the focus was on the baby ( which inevitably it will be), and that Mummy was too tired/ grumpy/ pre-occupied/ sore / busy feeding (delete as appropriate ) to do what they want to do.

HI all,
Thanks for the comments. Just having a down day but Ollie's smile as he ran for a cuddle when I picked him up from nursery was fab x

Went out and played football with him again and then popped over neighbours to say happy 4th birthday to her ds. Lovely weather too so made the most of it.

I am also les's buddy and texted her and Dal this morning but as Lisa says I think she's run out of credit but slightly worried as she was having contractions the last time she posted!

I hope you are all feeling a little less achy and uncomfortable atm adn I hope the hormonal phase passes quickly for us all. I should have none something wasn't right as I couldn't watch farenheit 9/11 last night which is just my sort of program. Couldn't take the last bit where they showed the children who'd been hurt in the war. (my dh isn't used to me being to emotional so I think I shocked him with my 'I've let Ollie down' phonecall this morning!! He is coming home early though so that's nice. Can't wait for a cuddle )

Hi all,

Lisa, from a teacher's perspective, you need to know that it isn't up to the staff whether an absence is authorised or not ... if you send a note into school, then the absence will be authorised.
The only time this doesn't happen is when a parent takes their child out of school for a holiday of more than 2 weeks, then only 2 weeks (per academic year) can be authorised.
I don't know what we'll do with ds - he has said that he's looking forward to taking a picture of him with his baby sister in to show his teachers and friends, so we'll probably send him to school as normal ... but if the baby is born during the school day then we'll be pulling him out of school. so that he is the first visitor.

Kitti - I only wash every other day too ... and I had 20 nappies and 4 wraps with ds - and that was usually enough. I was working full-time too, and had to make sure I had enough for 3 days worth (by the time you've sent them to nursery) at any one time. If you already have one, get a radiator airer one of www.lakeland.co.uk/product.aspx/!20812 these or an overhead airer like this - I have an overhead one, and it's great!

muppetgirl - I'm really glad that dh is coming home early. The emotional abuse you suffered as a child makes me so ... it's bound to have an impact on how you live your life now. fwiw I think you're obviously a wonderful, wonderful mother, and you obviously care sooooooooo much about Ollie (and Henry of course!) ... Repeat after me: "I am not my mother" ...
You're doing a great job!

Well, I have ahd a very positive afternoon:
So, went back to see the consultant today, had to wait quite a while as he started clinic late as he was doing an amnio. Anyway, when I got in, he asked me what the plan was - I told him that I was aiming to deliver in the water in the MLU, due to the pelvic pain, and the fact that I get such good pain relief from hydro. He then asked me whose ear I had been bending about this (his exact words!), but when I told him I'd been referred to JS(consultant midwife), and through her had
seen DB (senior midwife in MLU), his whole attitude relaxed!

He has written in my notes:"wants water for 1st and 2nd stages, at UHW, has seen DB liaised with JS), above plan agreed", and in the green bit (the intra-partum management plan), he's written:"aiming for SVD in MLU - waterbirth. Has seen DB regarding this"

He's also written "low threshold for lcsc if transfer to cLU required" - I told him I didn't want to be fiddling around with drips and the like if things didn't go to plan ... he could see my point!

He wants to see me in 3 weeks to see how I'm getting on - hopefully I won't need that appointment, as that's my EDD!

I'm pretty happy with how it went - I know I didn't really need his approval, but I feel better that he knows what I intend doing and why.

He joked as I left that if I delivered on a Friday, that I should get them to beep him, so he could come down and see me - then he said "that's if they let me in through the door!"

So, all is on track for me to have a hospital water vbac ... something I never thought could be possible!

Am a very ejt right now!

Hey Ejt - that sounds like a really positive meeting, glad you are going to get the support you need to try things the way you want. Thanks for the links re: clothes airers that is a great tip. I will definitley get some of the radiator ones and love the overhead thigmy but I live in a really old cottage with low ceilings so not sure I have the head height

thats great ejt

MG-hope you feel better when you've had your hug sometimes i really miss having someone oh well, no need to dwell

lisa-do what you think is right, if Tannisha is errr....poorly when you'ved had lo then she can't go in to school anyway can she!

i, on the otherhand, would rather keep Leonie in school when i have lo, but because i'm going to be kept in for a couple of days, i'm having to send her to her paternal Gp's and they don't drive so she'll have to miss school, there's no other way round it!

right, off to get ready to go to the clavoiance evening, hope everyone's ok

Thanks for the understanding hugs, my relationship with my parents has been an issue for years and my DH has nearly had a go at them before now over there behaviour, before now. AN example being taking them with us to Jersey for our wedding the week before with DH's parents (which we paid for) and they moaned about everything, leading to me being in tears the night before the wedding and DH reading to speak his mind!!!

Congrats to DAL and Ryan xxxxxxxxx

Feeling crap at mo as still up once a night with DS2, several times for the loo and just struggling to cope at the mo with the boys and the preg. Seeing midwife tomorrow so see where my bp is now.

Hugs muppet unfortunatley I have similar storys from my parents so totaly understand and worry about DS1 as I was bullied at school re clothing/shoes.

Hope everyone is feeling better.

Hi all,
quickie post.. for everyone weeing a lot make sure it is not a urinary infection.
I have just been told (by letter from midwife) that I have one (no evidence other than weeing a lot at night tho) so have got to have some antibiotics now.

take care and hugs to those in need.

xx

Muppet;I'm glad Ollies smile made you feel better and that your Dh is coming home early. You are NOT your mother in any way shape or form and have no reason to beat yourself up because you never will be as abusive as she was to you....my Mum suffered a bit like you did; my Gran would promise a trip to the pantomime if Mum and her sister were "good" all week and knowing that meant not putting a foot, word or look out of place they would do absolutely everything she told them, she'd dress them up to go to the theatre, walk them half way to the bus stop and then announce that she had "changed her mind" and take them home without any rhyme or reason.With a lot of hindsight we now think that she was actually jealous of her own children, they were incredibly pretty kids, people used to stop and comment in the street and later she showed similar signs of jealousy at my mums intelligence (selling her favourite novels and refusing to let her take the 11+ etc). The result was, my Mum never gave a promise she didn't/couldn't keep, never left us in any doubt that she loved us,( even when she was telling us off) and was/is an incredibly caring mother...I know you are the same and that Ollie and Henry will be as grateful for you as you are justifiably resentful of her.

Nellie; my nephew (3.5) started nursery just this week...he adores it and all I can say is I wish my s-i-l had started him last year, he is much more amenable when we pick him up and is for the first time ever ready and willing to have his tea and his bath and go to his own bed at a reasonable hour. S-i-l looks 100% more refreshed for it too!Though if youare going to do it, I'd start it before LO arrives or he will associate being packed off with the arrival of the baby.

Can't remember what everyone else has written. Sorry.

I've been for my diabetic consult today...the scan was great, LO is still a bit plump but hasn't put on more than he/she should over the last 2 weeks; consultant was pleased with my glucose levels and diet and was going to let me go and let my gynae consultant decide when best to induce me (ie let me off the hook for next week!)when the nurse reminded him to check my BP and urine becaue the diastolic had been creeping into the 80's over the last few weeks and oh dear..I've got protien in my urine and my BP was according to the student using a small cuff on my big arms 130/110 ! So the consultant got a big cuff and came up with 160/94 (no wonder my heart rate had gone up after that shock)which they are not happy about...so they packed me off to the vampires to have an armfull of blood drained off and they'll phone me with the results when they get them...so I'm back up in the air again about when they are going to induce me At least LO is ok, though the head is no longer engaged (knew the little blighter had been wriggling too much!)

jersey - sorry, I missed you out earlier ... just want you to know I'm thinking about you.

unicorn - rubbish about the UTI - but better for it to be sorted!

FT - bugger! Hope you get some grace before you're induced!

Am just about to go out to yoga ... have a good evening all!

EJT; fab result with your consultant.. your water birth. After such a long fight you deserve getting what you want. No wonder you are happy!

Muppet ? that example you gave of your mum and the cello exam made me want to cry. Just couldn?t comprehend doing something so pointlessly cruel to Sam. He is the light of my life and making him smile is amazing ? why would you do this? Sounds like you are doing a fantastic job with Ollie despite such a rubbish role model ? good on you, you should be very proud of yourself.

Lisa ? agree with Katsch ? you know your Tani ? see what you think is right at the time. Who knows it might be a weekend when you first come home anyway? You should so be proud of her too!

Ejt ? good on you honey for going out for the birth you wanted ? you have done yourself proud. Just goes to show that you don?t need to go in being bolshy and ranting about your rights (OK not all the time!!!) and can get where you want with being well educated and informed about your options and being abit persistant. Here?s hoping it all goes to plan now but I?m thinking even if it doesn?t you will know you have done your best and couldn?t have done more. Hope you?re enjoying your mat leave too?..

Jersey ? big hugs to you too ? sound like you?re having a tricky time at the mo. Its not easy trying to be a mum AND pregnant is it!

Floria ? glad all is well with your lo. A shame things are still up in the air for you but at least they are keeping a close eye on things to make sure the 2 of you are safe. Thinking of you?.

Choc - hope you feel better after at working at home today...

Well I had an fab lunch with my mate ? we went to a lovely restaurant and had a 3 course meal and a glass of wine! Fantastic! Spent so long over it chilling that I was in a real rush to make my consultant appt on time! Still got there OK. Consultant was not there but saw a registrar who was able to answer most of my questions and has booked me in for an elective section on 2nd Oct!! So very excited about that although a bit scared that that means that this time in 3 weeks (at the latest!) I will have 2 boys!! OMG! Will update stats thread?..

Evening Everyone! How exciting to be on a new thread - I thought there may be less to read, but no!

Choc - I have a pram in the house. We ended up getting one on Ebay - only turned into a bit of a nightmare as dh didn't notice that it was collection only - from Ascot and we live in Nottingham! We ended up paying an extra £70 to DHL it and then when it arrived, realised that it wasn't the same as the one we'd thought we'd ordered! Could put that down to bad luck but to be honest I think it was more to do with not reading the description on Ebay properly!!

J2O & Mrs Fish - so sorry to hear about all your sleep troubles. It's so frustrating when you're so tired and just can't nod off or have to keep getting up in the night. So far I've been pretty lucky and am only getting up once most nights - although I've probably jinxed myself saying that!

Muppet - what a horrible story about your mum and your cello exam - you poor thing. All the more credit to you that you're obviously such a loving and caring mum yourself.

Great news from Dal - congratulations! - as someone possibly facing the prospect of a cs, it's good to hear a positive report. Dal - can we see some photos of Ryan? (Is that even possible on here? I'm not exactly technically minded!)

Hi to everyone else - hope everyone has a pain free, sleep-full night! xx

Thank you all you lovely ladies, my mother was a complete b**ch (there you go j20!) And I know a lot of my hang ups stem from her behaviour towards me. It was a difficult decision to cut contact but she became an alcoholic and there was no way I could put up with her behaviour anymore.
You're right Alice, how could any mother do that to their child? When I had Ollie all these feelings of confusion came out -how could she do that to me? Will I be just like her? This is how the pnd developed. Everything had to be just 'right' for Ollie.
She doesn't know about Ollie, where I live, that I'm even married. She doesn't know that my brother has 2 children and that he lives abroad. She won't dicuss her behaviour and calls the divorce her 'one little mistake' She is the sad old lady who has no children round her, doesn't know about her 3 (nealry 4!) wonderful grandchildren and that her children grew up to be decent members of society and have achieved all they have despite her, not because of her. I have had many times in my life that my mother has missed out - degree, getting married etc but becoming a mother was the pnly time I missed having a 'mother.' But, saying that my b/f's mother stepped in and 'adopted' me!

Right, I am feeling much better now. Thanlk you all so much!

Colly - positive stories about c-sections here if you want them! My (emergency) one last time was pretty straightforward too - not anywhere near as bad as I expected. Not to be done lightly (major surgery afterall) but in the right circumstances I certainly don't think they are anything to be feared.... www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1365/383812?ts=1189538834968

Hooray - I'm back online. Is it bad to say I missed the laptop almost as much as my dh?!!

Tried my best to catch up on the last 6 days - not an easy task. Can't remember everything, but here goes on the main events:
Dal - MASSIVE congrats. Looking forward to hearing how you are getting on
Inzi - OMG, scary. Thought that was it as soon as waters break. You MUST get some rest, and v glad LO has decided to hold on a little longer
J20 - another little rascal decided to turn so late. If he/she has done it once, he/she can do it again. And yukky iron/ protein. Gosh, isn't late pregnancy fun, girls?!
Buff - sorry to hear about the pains, but luckily doesn't sound like anything too much to worry about. Hope you are feeling ok
Lisa - an't believe you keep having contractions. Hope they continue to fade away
Apricott - was v interested to read your recent thread. Seems like we are in totally the same frame of mind - desparate for a home birth, but placenta seems to have other ideas.

Everybody else, hi.

V quick update from me. I have my scan tomorrow to find out the position of the placenta. HUGE fingers crossed that it has moved as definitely don't want a stay in hospital and a cs.

I've been getting pains low down - usually when I go for a walk. And in my cervix too. Does anybody know if these are just Braxton Hicks (never got any with first pregancy)?

And to add me to the stats:
Greedy - due 30th Sept - baby girl- lives in herts
Mrs Fish - due 30 Sept - baby boy - lives in Derbyshire
Mumpbump - due 1st October - second baby - surprise! - Surrey - booked in for home birth, but we'll see what happens...
ejt1764 - due 2nd Oct (my date) / 28th Sept (scan date!) - baby girl - lives near Cardiff - going for a vbac (in water)
Monalisasmile - Due 2nd Oct (though told to excect to deliver any time after the 15th September!) - Baby Boy - Herts gal - planning to have water birth (and hoping these pains will end soon!)
J20baby-due 3 Oct baby girl lives East Yorks (no inducement or c section date given so far!)
FloriaTosca- due 5th Oct.-1st baby-surprise- lives SE Lancs- consultants planning induction sometime between 17th and 28th September...will update
Lisad123- due 5th Oct - baby girl - VBAC but will update on weds.
Katsh - elective c/s 8th Oct - lives Surrey
Alicet - due 9th Oct - baby boy Adam - lives Newcastle - elective section 2nd - 9th Oct (will update after tues)
orangecat - due 10th Oct (scan date)/ 12th Oct (my date). Lives in Herts. Has 1 DD, 2.5 yrs old. Hoping low placenta moves...
apricott - due 11th Oct (scan date) or 14th Oct (my date) - lives near Swansea - hoping for home birth
kittiwake -due 15th Oct - 1st baby surprise -Lives in Mid wales
unicorn - due 17th Oct - surprise- lives in London
Muppetgirl -due 5th nov boy-Henry lives Swindon -could be induced at 38 weeks (22nd Oct ish)
HonorMatopoeia - due 23rd October - baby girl - lives Worcestershire (yet to decide if VBAC or C section)
Nellie Loula - due 27th Oct; section between 22-26th - surprise - lives in Brighton
Designerbaby ? due 27th October ? litle girl ? first baby ? lives in North London
ChocolateHobnob - due 31 Oct - surprise - lives in Newcastle
buffythenappyslayer21-due 11th oct-elective cs booked for 4th oct and getting sterilised-lives in north wales-baby girl
Collywobbles - due 22 Oct (1st baby!)- surprise -possible cs as placenta low (scan on 27/9)- lives in Nottingham

Here is the stats thread updated with my section date!

Greedy - due 30th Sept - baby girl- lives in herts
Mrs Fish - due 30 Sept - baby boy - lives in Derbyshire
Mumpbump - due 1st October - second baby - surprise! - Surrey - booked in for home birth, but we'll see what happens...
ejt1764 - due 2nd Oct (my date) / 28th Sept (scan date!) - baby girl - lives near Cardiff - going for a vbac (in water)
Monalisasmile - Due 2nd Oct (though told to excect to deliver any time after the 15th September!) - Baby Boy - Herts gal - planning to have water birth (and hoping these pains will end soon!)
Alicet - elective section 2nd Oct - baby boy Adam - lives Newcastle
J20baby-due 3 Oct baby girl lives East Yorks (no inducement or c section date given so far!)
FloriaTosca- due 5th Oct.-1st baby-surprise- lives SE Lancs- consultants planning induction sometime between 17th and 28th September...will update
Lisad123- due 5th Oct - baby girl - VBAC but will update on weds.
Katsh - elective c/s 8th Oct - lives Surrey
orangecat - due 10th Oct (scan date)/ 12th Oct (my date). Lives in Herts. Has 1 DD, 2.5 yrs old. Hoping low placenta moves...
apricott - due 11th Oct (scan date) or 14th Oct (my date) - lives near Swansea - hoping for home birth
kittiwake -due 15th Oct - 1st baby surprise -Lives in Mid wales
unicorn - due 17th Oct - surprise- lives in London
Muppetgirl -due 5th nov boy-Henry lives Swindon -could be induced at 38 weeks (22nd Oct ish)
HonorMatopoeia - due 23rd October - baby girl - lives Worcestershire (yet to decide if VBAC or C section)
Nellie Loula - due 27th Oct; section between 22-26th - surprise - lives in Brighton
Designerbaby ? due 27th October ? litle girl ? first baby ? lives in North London
ChocolateHobnob - due 31 Oct - surprise - lives in Newcastle
buffythenappyslayer21-due 11th oct-elective cs booked for 4th oct and getting sterilised-lives in north wales-baby girl
Collywobbles - due 22 Oct (1st baby!)- surprise -possible cs as placenta low (scan on 27/9)- lives in Nottingham

Hi all,
Im not sure how to do a link but didn't know you'd got a new thread. Sorry!
Just wanted to let you know that i've posted details of my new arrival on the old thread and to wish you all luck with your imminent arrivals.
Love
Sarah xx

Muppet cross posted earlier - Sounds like you have been through a very tough time with your mum and had to make a lot of difficult decisions. But you are right that its her loss. And a credit to all of you that you have turned out as you have despite her x