Pregnancy after MMC

[sadtoday21]

Hi everyone! I moved our thread over here so we can all keep in touch as we continue on this journey.

Many congratulations again to @Amanda81 on the birth of your beautiful baby girl Holly! Our first baby on the thread. Also tagging the regulars @Catconfusion @Kiki061190 @bananamonkey. Newcomers welcome as well!

@bananamonkey I am sure you aren’t looking chunky either, but I hear you, really don’t care at this point! Also, I feel I should get a medal for going to the gym now at all in the first place, even though I used to go practically every day. Exciting that you have your 28 week appointment coming up! I agree the measuring is bollocks, it just gives me one more thing to obsess over. And thanks very much for the info on clothing! So, all day at home they wear the underwear and sleepsuits and then going out you add a sweater and/or jacket? If I’m wearing a winter jacket what does baby wear - pram suit? Not sure what to buy for March weather really...

Thanks @Kiki061190! Men don’t get it by far. DH just looked at me sheepishly and said well you said to tell me if you started to get fat...which obviously no woman means ever! But I sense I’m also irritable lately from hormones/work pressure. Can we get massages in pregnancy? I need to find a way to relax. So exciting you will see baby girls face again next week! Lilac sounds like a pretty color for the nursery. What else do you have left to buy?

@sadtoday21 Yes you can get massages specifically designed for pregnant women! I’m having one next month at pure spa. I just feel like I need one and my OH offered to treat me. We just have a monitor, car seat and a baby sling to buy really. But we’ll get so many vouchers once she’s born so we’re going to wait to buy the monitor. I’m looking forward to getting my baby box in March as well. You get a good thermometer ect from there so no point in buying. What about yourself? I also never knew about bodysuits under sleepsuits so I’ll need to stock up on bodysuits!

@sadtoday21 pretty much, just add knitwear/pramsuit/blankets/coat as needed. I’d think you will need a pramsuit or a coat for March. M&S do some really lovely baby coats/jackets. I always felt like I was under dressing DD as I didn’t put her in mountains of knitwear but she was always a fairly warm baby, you’ll get a feel for it.

Definitely get a massage if you can, I had one last time as a treat when DH went away on a stag do and it was a bit painful on my tight hips but also lovely. I got a voucher to go to a flotation tank place for Christmas so I’m booking that for when I finish work, cannot wait!

Thanks @bananamonkey! I guess I will need to buy more than just the one cardigan that I have so far 😂. I think M&S clothes are the best in terms of quality for the price. I do wonder though whether all these lovely white sleepsuits will be stained irrevocably and I’ll have to throw them all away and just buy cheaper things in the end! The flotation tank sounds amazing, never heard of that but sounds fab for pregnancy. I really want to go swimming lately but no pool nearby unfortunately.

@Kiki061190 that does really sound lovely and I so need it right now. DH tried to convince me to have a pedicure and foot massage this morning (I haven’t been to a nail salon since before the mmc, crazy to think it’s been over a year), but starting to think a real massage would be so much better. Do you have to worry about the essential oils they use? That was my biggest concern. Also, what is this baby box thing? I haven’t bought the sling or monitor yet. Sling I want something easy like the ktan one and I have no clue on the monitor!

@sadtoday21 I don’t think you’ll need too many cardigans, they don’t tend to get too dirty unless you have a really sicky baby or one prone to poonamis 💩 I didn’t throw much away until weaning, plus Napisan and putting clothes on the line in the sun are magic for stains. A pedicure sounds lovely, I usually get them gelled but haven’t since the summer and now I think I’d struggle to paint them myself 😂

Tell us about your baby box @Kiki061190 that sounds exciting!

@bananamonkey @sadtoday21 do you ladies get a baby box for free in England? We get one here in the Scotland for every baby. It’s a box filled with things you need for a newborn. It essentially promotes safe sleeping so there’s a mattress in it and the baby can sleep in the box. You get a thermometer, clothes, a changing mat, a play mat, little filing pads for their nails, breast pads, bath towels, Muslin squares and books ect. There’s so much in there! I’m due mines Mid March. I can’t wait to get a massage ladies!

This is the contents ladies!

Wow that’s brilliant @Kiki0611090, no such thing here. To be fair it’s not really for me as I have stuff but it’d great for first time mums, especially those on a tight budget.

That baby box is such a great idea! Specially for first time mums, at least it gives an idea of what the essentials are. I definitely over bought with mine. But hoping I'll get to use everything again!

It’s defo a good thing if you’re on a budget. I’m quite excited to get mines! I’ve came down with a horrible cold today, do any of you ladies have tips for how to shift a cold when pregnant? I’m taking paracetamol and that’s about it just now!

Hey @sadtoday21 I wish they’d measured me sooner too because I’m pretty sure we’d have had the GD test earlier and if I had it could have started on the diet. The midwife just kept saying it wasn’t necessary and I looked normal.

Now the water birth is back on the table I’m more interested in a natural birth but will all depend on how everything thing else goes.

I would be a little cautious about going in for monitoring if there’s not movement concerns. If baby is moving likely all ok. I know it’s a another cost but if you’re really anxious go the private route. However if you do get a day where baby is quiet, it might be worth heading in.

I can’t believe what your husband said. Sounds like he was teasing you but it’s not cool during pregnancy. Glad you told him off!

How funny @bananamonkey and it’s a small world. I’ll probably see you. I’m the one with grey hair and the bearded husband. We’re in at 9am. I’m hoping I get more information too as Friday was a whirlwind.

@Kiki061190 yes, chances are he’ll actually end up normal size, especially if they deliver early like the doctor wants to. The growth scans seem to have a lot of potential for unnecessary worry as they are looking for risk factors. I’m sure with anyone they would find something. It is good they are monitoring us so closely though.

So the plot thickens regarding my Friday appointment. Turns out the doctor wrote in my notes that I can only manage 200 steps due to my arthritis. I told him 2000. Obviously if I could only manage 200 I’d be far more immobile.

The good news is that the sonographer recorded baby’s position as head down and bump out so he’s actually in a good birthing position already. This wasn’t mentioned but it’s reassuring. As I’m measuring more like I’m 32 weeks he’s probably getting snug in there. I hope he stays like that as it would make me more confident for potentially a natural delivery, especially if I can get in water. I’m sure it would help with hips. Anyway I’ll update you when I know more from the consultant and midwife. Have a lovely Monday ladies! Xx

*bum out, not bump out.

Oh @Catconfusion it sounds like you’ve had a time of it! What a terrible appointment. I would be furious if I were you. It’s great baby boy is in the head down position. He’s getting ready to meet you! I think you might be an earlier delivery but that’s exciting. Potentially a March baby 👶🏻 Baby girls head is low but she’s still lying across my tummy curled up so she’s nowhere near head down. Hopefully she behaves and gets herself into position!

@Kiki061190 yes it’s been frustrating but I’m seeing my GP in a bit to get some reassurance about the injections. Apparently even if head down early they can flip round. I’m just hoping he stays where he is. Down side is I’m getting far less movement but still enough wriggling to know he’s ok. I can feel shuffling in my pelvis. Now I know it’s his head moving around.

Yes it may very well be March. It’s exciting for sure. I’d love it if he came a bit early as long as he’s ready and ok.

Baby girl has plenty of time to get into position. It may just be because mine is big he’s moved round. Look out for firmness in the middle of your belly which is the bum and a nudging sensation in the pelvis. I’ve also noticed the top of the bump has gone a big saggy I guess because his limbs are there but facing the other way.

I can’t believe how far along we all are! Xx

Ha ha @Catconfusion mine is 8.30 because I wanted to be able to eat sooner! I hate lucozade so not looking forward to it.

@catconfusion I can feel baby girls hands down at my pelvic bone and her feet up under my right ribs just now. She makes me laugh. I know we’re all getting there! I have 2 days left of the second trimester and I can hardly believe it! The excitement has taken over. It’ll be so exciting to see how we all get on once we are mums and hear all the baby tales!

@Kiki061190 @Catconfusion I'm astonished you can feel body parts like that, is it just me that can't?? I have no idea where baby head is or bum or hands. The midwife said baby was head down for me last time I was in, but I honestly have no idea how she could tell that. I can't see anything sticking out ever either, just my tummy jerking sometimes. This is making me so sad!

@Catconfusion it's not just the money, but the fact that the private scan doesn't do the doppler to check blood flow and placenta, which is what I'm worrying about now. They only do measurements and I don't feel it's really a health screening, if you see what I mean. My GP said I should have a scan at 32 weeks but then refused to send me for one, which made me feel so much worse! There is a lot of research saying that problems with placenta can be detected at 32 weeks and that it should be standard for all women on the nhs. Anyway, I do feel like the movements should be more by now at 32 weeks, I don't seem to feel it as much as you all do! I'm starting to get really worried and I think it would be best if I just get checked out. I really can't relax as March gets closer!

@sadtoday21 it’s so difficult to know what’s normal and what isn’t with the movements and compare with other people’s experiences. What I will say is I’m doing a lot of guesswork as to what’s going on. Because I know he’s head down and facing towards my back, I’m assuming the wriggling in my pelvis is his head and the firmness in the middle of my tummy is his bum. I have no absolute proof of this. Also as he’s facing the back the movements have been far more subtle over the last few days. I’m definitely not feeling my whole tummy moving but this is because he’s facing the other way so I’m not feeling the kicks so much. There are often explanations for why kicks are not so pronounced. My midwife has said as long as there is regular movement even if just wriggling, baby is ok. Try not to be sad as there is plenty of time to see limbs etc. My understanding is this happens quite late on and I’ve not experienced this. It does however depend what position baby is in. It’s great news he’s head down though and getting ready to come. It’s amazing how they know to do this.

It’s not fair that your doctor said you should have a scan at 32 weeks and then wouldn’t send you. I agree, there should be more monitoring in all pregnancies, not just high risk ones. It’s crazy that most women go from 20 weeks to 36 without anything other than the midwife checks.

Just to give an idea of the support I’m getting due to advanced age. At each appointment a scan is done to assess how big the baby is: his legs, tummy and head. They do a calculation based on my height and weight early on in the pregnancy. Each appointment creates a graph showing baby’s growth. That’s how I know he’s big but this might slow a bit as babies can have growth spurts. The scans assess any potential risks such as a big baby having difficulties with birth or a small baby not thriving. They don’t do a Doppler scan but they do check the placenta is in a normal position. Also they can tell how well the placenta is functioning based on the size of the baby. If the baby is small, there may be problems with the blood flow.

If I were you I’d go to see the midwife again and explain your concerns. If your baby is a healthy weight and size it’s likely the placenta is functioning well. I really think they should refer you for a scan even though it’s unlikely there’s a problem. It’s no good your anxiety being triggered so much. I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way.

Hopefully your midwife will see it’s affecting your mental health and offer you another scan. xx

@bananamonkey I don’t blame you. My nausea has made a return this morning which is awful timing before the test. I hope I feel better by Thursday. Just want it done now so I can stop worrying.

@Kiki061190 the sensations are so strange and varied. It really does help having an idea of what position they are in to know what body parts are doing what.

So I saw the GP yesterday about my whirlwind appointment on Friday. She could offer very little help and couldn’t tell me much about any of the issues that have come up. Also can’t get through to my consultant to ask him. The doctor did say heparin is perfectly safe and doesn’t have side effects so I shouldn’t worry about feeling ill when I take it. Some care will need to be taken when I come off it to make sure I can clot effectively after the birth. TBH this is the biggest concern. If I go into labour early while I’m still on it I worry I’ll bleed too much. If all goes to plan I guess they’ll take me off it in good time. Luckily we see the midwife today so I can bring up the issues and see what she says. I’m monitoring my BP at home now as the protein in my sample has made me worry about preeclampsia. So far it’s been normal or low so I’m happy with that for now. Hopefully I’ll know about the diabetes by the end of the week.

I can’t believe we’re nearly in February. Not long now ladies. We’re all doing so well. Pregnancy is really tough. Thinking about you too @Amanda81 and hoping all is ok your end! Xx

@sadtoday21 I have no idea which bits are moving! All I feel is a kicking sensation in various places and sometimes my bump jiggles but you can’t always feel it from the outside. With DD it was the same (well I felt even less!) I couldn’t see any proper movements in the bump until right near the end and even then never any limbs sticking out! Could be down to lots of things, size, position of baby and your uterus etc. Plus the placenta is a huge organ so that’s probably blocking some things. As long as I’m feeling kicks and wiggles I’m happy, I know lots of other women have issues with baby up in their ribs which sounds hideous. Didn’t you say your area gives you a scan at 36 weeks? It’s rubbish GP won’t refer you went she said she would before. Other than the 20 week scan it’ll be 12 weeks between appointments for me (and no more scans at all) which seems like a long time but I’m thinking that any developmental issues would’ve been picked up at 20 weeks then MW would see any issues with blood, BP or urine tests.

Hope the MW today can be more helpful @Catconfusion! I’ll be the one on Thursday with brown hair and glasses looking exhausted because I’m struggling a bit with the insomnia this week 😴

My friend who had 2 miscarriages around the same time as me had her baby yesterday which is lovely, had a few complications afterwards but she was able to have her home birth and said it was great which is reassuring.

@bananamonkey I’ll look out for you 🙂. Sorry to hear you’re not sleeping well. It really mucks the next day up.

Yes I hope we can come to a decision about the heparin so I can start it if I really am high risk. Definitely don’t want a clot! Xx

Oh @bananamonkey great news about your friend too!

Thanks @Catconfusion, that's really helpful to know what more frequent monitoring looks like. I vacillate between total confidence that the midwife checks would pick something serious up in time and then complete lack of confidence that the checks are sufficient. I think the MMC has something to do with this tbh, as all the midwifes told me in that pregnancy that everything was fine and I just needed to get a scan at 12 weeks, and then it so badly wasn't fine. I felt they were overly sanguine about how most pregnancies are healthy and then I happened to fall into a rare category of complication with the molar and felt unprepared/unwarned about the risks. Now I can't help but wonder if the same thing is true for these other things I worry about and the only thing that makes me feel reassured is to have more medical, technical explanations about what is going on and what the risks really are. I guess part of me still can't believe this is going to happen and I really don't think I could cope with anything going wrong at this stage. But I know monitoring is only a snapshot in time and realistically I have to get through at least a few weeks without it. I just notice my anxiety is sky high if I don't have a scan every month, I have no idea how you are doing it @bananamonkey! I'm going to see the midwife next week and will see what she says.

I am sorry your midwife wasn't more helpful @Catconfusion about the heparin. i don't know anything about it, but I think I would take it if your consultant advised and there aren't serious side effects. As for bleeding during labour, could you come off it closer to the birth? I do think a water birth sounds lovely and like it might be easier on your hips too. Sorry also to hear your nausea is back, I'm afraid these symptoms do tend to come back in the third tri sometimes...I've had nowhere near as rough a time as you, but I do feel absolutely exhausted now (insomnia), really large, and terrible heartburn at night. These all seem like minor symptoms to complain about, so I don't really want to complain, but I do find the third trimester to be the roughest so far! Hopefully you just have a bug and it doesn't get worse. I also hope your GT test goes well and you get the all clear for no diabetes this week!

@bananamonkey I'm glad its not just me! I know I shouldn't compare movements with others, but its hard not to sometimes when we are constantly told to monitor them, etc. I do have an nhs scan at 36 weeks, which is only a month away, so that's really good. Also have antenatal classes starting then. I just wonder if baby will come early, since my mum had premies with both babies at 36 weeks. She did have preeclampsia with me though. Not entirely sure how much of that is genetics. It's wonderful that your friend had her baby! It must be so nice to have someone in RL to share this experience with, I really need to find some mum friends!

@Kiki061190 sorry to hear you are under the weather, I think I am too! You can take paracetamol, but I never have (I would if I had a fever though). Otherwise, my go to is hot water and lime (bit of honey if you like), which is now terrible because the lime gives me heartburn. You can also try a nice steamy shower or boiling hot water and putting your head over it with a towel. I think vix vapor rub is also safe in pregnancy, which is a godsend. Citrus fruits are good if you can stomach them, just knock back a ton of tangerines. Otherwise sleep a lot if you can and eat some nourishing soups and watch Netflix. Unfortunately, none of this is quite the same as actual medicine, but do see the GP if you start to get really ill (flu is dangerous in pregnancy). DH is swallowing cough drops and lemsip and emergen-c like there is no tomorrow right now and I'm so jealous!

@sadtoday21 Oh I only knew it was her hands from my 20 week scan! I had a feeling it was that or her feet 🥴 it is so hard to tell so don’t worry! I’ve been taking paracetamol and hoping it’ll clear up over the next couple of days. I can’t stop eating tangerines, I must be going through 2 packs a week myself! It’s a shame you don’t get fully checked with a private scan, they were so thorough at mines and checked the blood flow in the cord ect. It was £65 as well and I got given loads of pictures away and a video to take home too.

I am just home from my 28 week midwife app and everything seems to be fine. Had bloods taken so I’ll hear back if I’m anaemic in due course. They did weigh me and interestingly I’ve put on 6 pounds in the last 19 weeks. I’m not sure if that is good or bad? She never made any comment to be honest.