Pregnancy after MMC

[sadtoday21]

Hi everyone! I moved our thread over here so we can all keep in touch as we continue on this journey.

Many congratulations again to @Amanda81 on the birth of your beautiful baby girl Holly! Our first baby on the thread. Also tagging the regulars @Catconfusion @Kiki061190 @bananamonkey. Newcomers welcome as well!

Happy New Year everyone!

I just saw the midwife and she’s not too worried about my big bump. We heard the heartbeat and chatted about movements etc. It’s so nice to be at this stage. Still a long way to go but baby boy is kicking away most days and seems pretty healthy.

Have a lovely time whatever you’re up to! Xx

Happy New Year ladies!!!

Wow how far we have come! @sadtoday21 30 weeks already! I remember you being in disbelief that you’d conceived, you so thought you were out that month. Fate is a funny thing. You are on the countdown to baby boy now 💓

@Catconfusion You’ve been so patient through so many struggles, what a strong woman! Amazing you heard the heartbeat. It’s so special.

Glad you are both feeling movement. Baby girl seems to have tucked herself up on the right side of my tummy so I have a slightly wonky bump tonight. She’s a little quieter tonight but I’m not panicked, she was manic this morning!

I’m feeling slightly emotional about the new year! This is the year I’m going to be a mummy which feels so special. I feel incredibly lucky.

Thinking of you all tonight! Also @bananamonkey @Amanda81 have a fabulous new year ladies 😘

Happy New Year, what am amazing year we have in store! Hope you have a lovely evening whatever you’re doing x

All the best for 2020 you lovely ladies! I just wanted to pop on to say, well that, but also to apologies for my absence of late. I won't lie, it's been a bit of a challenge over the last few weeks with caring for myself after the preeclampsia diagnosis, as some complications have arisen and also my wound won't heal...Holly has just been amazing and is a wonderful addition to our life, but I would love it if I was on the mend, as I would enjoy it all the more. Things will get better I am sure.

I'm going to pop on over the next few days to comment on all of your updates, but so pleased to hear that all of you are starting to settle in to the final half of your pregnancies.

Love and hugs to all xxx

Thanks @Catconfusion, I hope you had a lovely time last night! It is really wonderful to know you ladies are all here anytime it gets too much and that we have all been through this together from the beginning. So glad that you are feeling regular kicking now and got to listen to the hb again! Postnatal thread is a great idea - I have so many questions about the "fourth" trimester!

@Kiki061190 how are you doing? Do you have your 4d scan coming up soon? Did you find some nice maternity clothes in the end for your growing bump?

@bananamonkey hope you are having a wonderful new year! How are you feeling?

@Amanda81 great to hear from you and absolutely no need to apologise! I assumed baby Holly would be keeping you very busy for awhile! I'm sorry to hear you've been unwell and that complications have arisen. Has it been difficult to do things after the c-section? Are you up all night bfing? How is your mental health? I wish I could offer some advice, but I don't really know much about babies tbh. All I know is what I have read online and it seems that everyone has vastly different experiences post-birth, just like they do with pregnancy. But we are all here for you if you need to talk about anything at all. I hope the midwives are taking good care of you and that you will be on the mend in no time and fully able to enjoy all those baby cuddles! Thinking of you Xxx

@sadtoday21 Scan is on the 18th. Had a scare today as baby girl hasn’t moved as much. Lay on my side and drank a cold drink and she eventually moved! Took her time though. I got a couple of maternity pieces but mainly wearing jumpers and jeans at the moment and dressing it up with accessories. How have you been?

@Kiki061190 sorry to hear about your scare, I’m going through the same thing right now. Baby has been moving loads lately, but a little too quiet last night and this morning. I just spoke to the midwife and she said to lay down on left hand side for two hours and see how many times baby kicks (they want at least ten movements). So I’m off to do that 😕

@sadtoday21 I had to do that yesterday. It’s quite scary trying to keep an eye on little ones movements. My work is so manic busy I forget if I’ve felt her and when was the last time. Off this weekend so hoping she’ll get back to kicking away soon enough! Did you get 10 movements in the two hours?

@Kiki061190 I didn't get to the 10 movements, so ended up going into the hospital, just got back. They hooked me up to the ctg and everything looked fine, it seems baby's head is down in my pelvis and so that may be the reason for shift in movements. Apparently, if you go in a second time for monitoring they automatically do a growth scan, which is nice to know. Just feeling a bit exhausted and stressed now :/.

Hey @sadtoday21 and @Kiki061190 I’m sorry to hear you’ve both had reduced movements. How are things now? It does seem like babies can get themselves in funny positions and it masks the sensations. Totally the right thing to do to go and get checked out. I had a look at the kicks count website and there are some really sad stories where people didn’t go to hospital and something was wrong. In most cases it seems fine but you never know. Xx

Hello ladies.

@Amanda81 lovely to hear from you, so sorry you’re having some complications, I hope you have lots of support and are feeling a little better now. It does get easier x

Sorry you had some scares @sadtoday21 and @Kiki061190 but glad things are ok, parenting anxiety starts before they’re even born!

I’ve been ill again which is ridiculous, I was worried it was a pregnancy thing but I’m feeling better now and DH has come down with it now so think it was a weird virus. Had a really achey/painful back and bump, stuff joints and felt like crap, great! Baby has been nice and active though so at least I’ve not been stressing about that. Am a bit worried about the size of my bump, I look like I’m about to pop! Have got MW and GTT at the end of the month so will see what they say.

I saw it is the Aldi baby even next week so may pop in to stock up on nappies and wipes and see what else they have, I could maybe do with another changing mat for downstairs. The reality of an actual baby coming soon is starting to set it now - eek!

Hope you have lovely weekends x

@sadtoday21 Oh no! I hope baby boy is ok. Glad they are giving you a scan. It’s crazy how stressed we can get!

@Catconfusion She thankfully started to move so I haven’t had to call up. She’s been ok the last day so I’ll just keep an eye on her. How have you been?

@bananamonkey oh thanks for telling us about Aldi! I will definitely have a look 👀

@Kiki061190 they didn't actually give me a scan, just a ctg. But I feel reassured to know that they would give a scan if I came in a second time. Glad your movements are improved today!

Thanks @Catconfusion, seem to have more movement today so that's helping with the anxiety. I'm glad I went in and now I know what the policies are at my trust and what to expect in future. In particular, I am glad that I can get a growth scan if I am really anxious about movements without the need for a referral from the midwife or GP. I know you have them regularly, but for me I feel quite nervous about the idea of no more scans until 36 weeks, so its helpful to know that they are available if I feel its necessary.

While I was on the maternity ward, I saw a newborn and a lady in labour! It made the whole thing seem much more real suddenly. The newborn was so tiny and the mum looked exhausted. Starting to actually think about the practicalities of labour now and I have to be honest, I don't know what to expect!

@bananamonkey thanks for news on the Aldi sale, I hope you feel better soon! Weirdly I've not been sick all pregnancy, but now at 30 weeks I am starting to feel a bit nauseous lately and getting the occasional heartburn (never knew what this was before, but it definitely makes eating less pleasant)!

@Amanda81 how are you feeling now? What sort of side effects do you have after pre eclampsia. I know very little about it but thought it went away after birth. So sorry you’re having a rough recovery.

@bananamonkey what a pain that you’re ill. So glad the movements are good though. We are planning a big Aldi trip next week to load up on bits. DH brought home the magazine and we were pleased to see a few items we still need in it. Get better soon!

@sadtoday21 I watched the childbirth episode of sex explained on Netflix the other day. I burst into tears when I saw the ladies in labour as there’s no way I could get my legs in those position. It’s definitely getting real now that I need to get this baby out somehow. I’m a bit annoyed that my physio appointment came through and it’s not until the end of January. I was told it would be just after Christmas. Just want to be in the best shape possible. I’m still going to explore having a c section at my consultant appointment. It’s great that you know the support is there for growth scans. It’s such a long time to go between.

@Kiki061190 glad the movements started up again. I’m good thanks. Been pretty tired but today I’ve been in full on nesting mode. I wonder if it’s hormones. Im not untidy but don’t mind if the house gets a little messy. Today I’ve been scrubbing and hoovering everything. Now my hips are sore so I’m having a bath. I think it’s dawned on me that we don’t have long until April to get the house ready xx

Hi everyone.

@sadtoday21 - I'm pleased you went in and got checked out. My experience of triage is that they would rather see you. I had a growth scan with the NHS at 36 weeks, and apparently baby was measuring 6 and a half pounds and was predicted to have a low 8lb baby...turns out she was 5lb 13oz in the end, so try not to focus too much on the scans/fundal measurements at this stage...they can be way out! As long as baby's HB is staying at a constant measure and movements are regular, all should be progressing fine.

So sorry to hear that you have been so ill @bananamonkey - but pleased that you are over the worst of it. Thanks for your words it's does get easier' - I think I have been so focused on staying pregnant and then the last few weeks of pregnancy being in and out of hospital, I didn't really prepare myself for what was about to happen to my world...gosh! Newborns are hard! I know this phase only lasts for a short while, so I am keeping that in mind and we are working hard to soothe her and get her in to a routine...if you have any tips...please do feel free to share. She's a good eater and is already weighing 6lbs 12ozs when she was last weighed yesterday. We are struggling with getting her down after the night feeds. We first thought it might be colic, but we now think she just wants to be held to be comforted.

Are you still thinking C section @Catconfusion? All in all, although I would have preferred a natural birth, I am so pleased that I had a CS. This is primarily due to my placenta being well attached to the uterus wall and they had to manually pick it out, if I had of had a natural delivery, they say it would have been an EMCS anyway and most likely would have ended with my womb being removed as there would have been too much of a time delay. The after care is hard though! I've had severe internal bruising on the left hand side of my wound due to the amount of time they were in there, which has resulted in my wound bleeding quite a lot, but the right hand side has healed perfectly. It's still bleeding now, and getting up out of a laying and seated position is still tough, but you do feel improvement each day. You sound like you have a very helpful husband, so do rely upon him for all the the house duties if you do go for a CS...it does make all the difference. I'm going to start doing small walks around the village next week, which will be 3 weeks post-op. It's a little disappointing that your physio isn't until the end of January.

My complications are related to my platelets remaining on the low side, which may mean that I have some liver damage following the severe preeclampsia diagnosis (I didn't know there was a difference between preeclampsia and severe preeclampsia) which would explain a few pains I am having. I am having my blood tests repeated next Friday to see if there is a small improvement - they have medicated me for the time being...but I'm really hoping that the platelets creep up gradually. From what I understand, if you have mild preeclampsia which is caught early all symptoms disappear after delivery of baby and placenta, but I had severe preeclampsia which required the magnesium sulphate treatment for 24 hrs after delivery there may be some long term issues. Good news is that my BP is absolutely normal and so is my kidney function, also all swelling has gone and I no longer have a tremor in my right hand (which I developed a few days after delivery).

On a more positive note...Holly is thriving. Although it is hard due to lack of sleep (and all of the above getting in the way) I wouldn't change it for the world. I really can't wait for you all to have your little bundles arrive.

Sorry for the long post, it seems like a lifetime since I've had the opportunity to catch up properly xx

@sadtoday21 It’s great that they monitor you though. These little ones sure know how to keep us on our toes! When are you planning on finishing work? I also know what you mean with the heartburn, I’ve never suffered from it until the last couple of weeks. It’s quite intense! It’s actually made my appetite disappear.

@Catconfusion Oh my! My bump aches underneath when I am on my feet for a long time. I’m definitely starting to feel slightly less mobile and I’m starting to get extremely tired after work. I have until the end of March to go!

We picked our nursery furniture set today ladies! We are going to order it tomorrow. It’s pre order for dispatch and delivery the last week in February. It’s so crazy how long some of these things can take to come! We have some work we’re hoping to do round the house before, joiners have been in to look at creating more storage before the furniture will arrive. Hopefully if we get all that done I can start organising the nursery in March!

Oh @Amanda81im so sorry your birth experience has been so traumatic. It’s so scary that you could have lost your womb and there are long term health implications.

You have such a positive attitude and have dealt with the situation really well. I’m so pleased Holly is thriving and hopefully as you say you’ll see a gradual improvement in yourself though I hope it’s rapid. Hopefully you’ll be past the most difficult period of new born life quickly too.

Do they think that age was a factor in the pre eclampsia? I have to say it worries me. Currently my bp is very low but I know it can change quickly.

I’ve heard a lot of birth stories at this point and I have to say with my underlying risk factors of age and my hip problems I am far more inclined to go for a c section. It seems far more controlled and any emergency treatment can be administered straight away.

If I was younger and didn’t have my hip issues I wouldn’t have as many concerns about natural child birth. The recovery often is far quicker and if all is well can go home quickly too. Many people have natural birth stories without complication. Even people who’ve had emergency sections with previous pregnancies. It’s such a personal decision but a c section feels right for me at the moment. It wouldn’t be for others of course!

I can’t wait for us all to meet our little bundles and however they come into world, it’s beautiful! Xx

It can be age related @Catconfusion, but it is also common in first time mums. It has been traumatic, particularly the thought of what could have happened - that's what plays on my mind the most. Preeclampsia is scary, and with me, I had early symptoms, but not all symptoms came at once so doctors were always on the fence about what to do with me. But as soon as I started contracting, all symptoms came on pretty fast. I do feel mentally scarred by the whole experience, but I know this will pass and things are already getting better each day.

My BP was always very low aswell. The first sign of things starting with the preeclampsia was a slight rise in BP from about 32 weeks (but still in normal territory) which continued to creep upwards each week. Also a persistent headache over a weekend which paracetamol wouldn't touch, which was around 37 weeks. I'm sure it's very unlikely that it's age related, but I do wonder if it was in my case. I also think the low dose aspirin helped with keeping the preeclampsia at bay, as when I stopped taking the aspirin at 36 weeks, this is when my BP started to rise quicker.

I am slightly fed up of being one of those women who fall into the worse statistics. Only 6% of women get preeclampsia, only 1 in 2500 have to have their placenta manually removed...I could go on, but it's slightly depressing. I should play the lottery I think. The only advice I could give @Catconfusion is to know the symptoms to be aware of. I was acutely aware, but didn't know how serious the situation can become if not diagnosed. Thankfully my MW was demanding to see me every week, as I think it for FTMs it's every two weeks...but don't quote me on that.

Do you think they will give you a choice with a CS? I really do hope so. It sounds like you know exactly what your body can achieve, and it would be a shame if you didn't get the overall say. Only you know what your body can achieve. A CS is definitely not the easiest way out, and try to stay in hospital for as long as possible...I was far to keen to get off the ward and get home. I have my fingers crossed for your appointment at the end of January and that your consultant listens to you and what you want xxx

@Amanda81 its so good to hear from you and I'm sorry to learn about the complications. I really hope you are on the mend soon! The great news is that Holly is feeding and doing so well early on - that's not always the case! So you are clearly doing a great job, despite feeling unwell.

Similar to @Catconfusion, may I ask how the severe preeclampsia came on so quickly? It seemed really sudden from your posts - like you were fine one day and all of the sudden not fine. It's something I need to watch out for too, so I guess I'm wondering if there is anything I should look out for or being doing in the third trimester (I know the warning signs and I take my blood pressure at home regularly with the aspirin, but I know you took aspirin too). It's just very scary.

@Catconfusion following your post I also watched the Netflix documentary and it was great, but now I'm scared! I also watched some rather graphic youtube videos, which didn't help. Had terrible nightmares about baby not being ok...need to find a way to relax/calm down about this. Your decision about the c-section sounds very wise to me, labour looks tough on the hips and exhausting! My takeaway is that it doesn't matter what the process is, just get baby out as safely and quickly as possible.

Well, I'm feeling quite under the weather today, can't tell if I am coming down with a cold or just run down/experiencing more symptoms lately. Have so so much work to do and looming deadlines and feel a bit hopeless about finishing it all. All I want to do is go back to bed and eat and watch movies right now all day...because I'm so tired, feeling nauseous, and also so stressed.

Hey @sadtoday21 - I hope I haven't worried any of you. It really wasn't my intention. There were subtle signs to begin with (looking back) but these could also be attributed to regular pregnancy related symptoms. Protein levels in my urine were always recorded as nonexistent, so they put it down to hypertension at first (this was during my week 37). On the Monday 16th I had a home visit from the MW at 3pm to check my BP, my BP was normal and there was no trace of protein in my urine. However, I started contracting at 6pm, phoned triage at 7.30pm as baby was breeched and was booked in for a CS on the 20th, got to triage at 9pm. My BP was dangerously high at 214/1?? (I forget the number) and my protein levels where a 3+. After 20 mins in triage I started seeing worm shapes in my eyes and that's when they whisk me to the pre-op room. They couldn't do anything until my BP was under control, so after lots of drugs I was then whisked in. So all can change pretty quickly. They think that because I started contracting this may have been the trigger.

Thankfully, throughout all of this, Holly was absolutely fine (saving grace). It was more of a risk to me. The doctors were waiting on my blood results to see if it would be a CS (usual working hours on the 17th) or an EMCS, bloods came back and they decided to deliver pronto.

I don't mean to scare, really I don't, but from my experience, the early signs where there are the raising BP and the headache was the first signal (I rarely get headaches). I also had some minor swelling in my face, but again I had put this down to pregnancy. The swelling soon got worse once all the other symptoms kicked in...I was like a balloon!

The thing I am most thankful for is that due to the week before with the hypertension, the doctors had already thought this may be a precursor to preeclampsia, so they gave me steroids to help Holly should she need to be delivered earlier than 39 weeks. Normally when you have a CS babies come out a little limp and need oxygen. However, because of the steroids she came out screaming and scored the highest awareness rating of 9...I was so pleased that she came out with a good scream. I was 38+4 when I delivered.

There's not much you can do about it, they do say to keep active which helps with BP. I was fairly active during the third trimester, but was struggling with PGP, so I guess I could have done more and just persevered with the pain.

You need to look after yourself @sadtoday21 - would having a day off really impact your deadlines? It may help with your tiredness and stress levels. Take care xx

Hey @Amanda81 you haven’t caused unnecessary worry at all as far as I’m concerned. Childbirth and pregnancy can be dangerous. I knew this going in.Thankfully serious complications are not common and you have been very unlucky. It’s really helpful though to know the signs and look for raising blood pressure plus the headaches. Thank goodness they got you in when they did. I’m so pleased at least she was alert and was breathing ok. No one knows how a birth will go but information and birth stories really help to understand what could happen and prepare us. Thank you for sharing.

In my area c section is a choice but they do try to steer you towards a natural birth. You’re right, I just have a feeling I will have mobility limits with a natural birth. I hope I’m listened to as well. With any luck my recovery will be similar to anyone else and the arthritis won’t make it harder. Xx

Oh @Amanda81 it sounds like you’ve had quite a time of it! I hope you recover soon. Glad Holly is doing great. I think we can plan and plan for birth but it comes down to what happens on the day. A friend of mine went into labour at 32 weeks and she had no signs at all apart from a backache the day she went into labour. A family member also developed preeclampsia and was induced at 38.5 weeks. It is so hard to know what is going to happen! I’m hoping for a natural birth but I’ll see what happens when it comes!

Oh @Amanda81 that sounds really tough, I hope you have lots of support and can take it as easy as you can with a newborn. It's hard isn't it you just don't know what to expect, out of my antenatal group we all had such different experiences, one developed pre-ecalmpsia out of nowhere and went in for a C-section straight away,

It's great that Holly is feeding so well, to be honest that was the bit I found the hardest but everything did get much much easier around 4-5 weeks. I was trying to remember all my tips (mostly for myself as I've forgotten everything!) I wrote down a bit of a jumble of things, some of which you probably already know but they mostly relate to feeding:

• The biggest breakthrough I had was about 4 weeks when I realised she was annoyed with me because she had been awake for 90 minutes and that was her limit. Sounds simple but in the newborn fog it took me a while to get that this was her routine, after that it was much easier to work through a simple wake up, feed, nappy change and play then asleep again after 90 minutes. Getting out for a walk every day also helped. I used the Feedbaby App to record all the feeds and sleeps, not necessary but helped me feel more in control (and to remember which side to feed on next time).

• When it's a struggle go back to skin-to-skin basics or use the sling as much as you can.

• If you can start to master lying down feeds its a gamechanger for night time, just make sure you have a safe co-sleeping arrangement in case you fall asleep. I used to put her in between me and the bedside cot with the duvet up to my knees only and a dressing gown on my top-half.

• We used to joke that our NCT teacher told us 3 lies about BF and that actually it is normal to hurt a bit at first, nipple cream is useful and BF babies do need to be burped sometimes, the easiest way is if you hold them a little down your body so their tummy is against yours and their head on your chest then gently squeeze.

• This article about how BF changes over the first few weeks saved my sanity, it's really informative www.thealphaparent.com/timeline-of-a-breastfed-baby/

• KellyMom.com is also a great resource about anything BF-related.

• Before you sit down for a feed always make sure you can reach your drink/snack, tv remote and phone (and muslin if you have a sicky baby), especially once DH goes back to work.

• Bamboo washable breastpads are great, can be found on Amazon. H&M feeding vests are good for nighttime and under clothes in the day.

• Make sure you drink loads, as Mum constipation (as my friend calls it) is real :(

• The Wonder Weeks app/book which tells you when a developmental leap is occurring is really helpful when you feel like your baby is going crazy for no reason, and is reassuring that it's temporary. I think the first one happens at about 6/7 weeks.

• I didn't get on with an electric pump but the Haakaa ones are amazing (and Aldi sell a unbranded version cheap), you just attach it to the free boob while feeding and it literally fills up with a milk without having to do anything.

• Look out for BF-friendly cafes, one of the tea rooms here does a Mum and Baby-only morning every week and it's great for getting out of the house but not having to stress about feeding/changing.

• Don't be afraid to ask for help, I regret not taking more opportunities for naps/long hot showers (although you will feel like you can hear a baby cry every time you go for a shower for a few months, it's a weird thing your brain does)

• This light/music/white noise thing is like magic for babies, I get one for every newborn gift: www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B00RCZ5NJY/ref=cm_sw_em_r_mt_dp_U_41WeEbBWBG2YN?tag=mumsnetforu03-21

Wow @bananamonkey thanks so much for sharing all that information. It’s really helpful to all of us! Xx

@bananamonkey Thanks so much for all the advice! I’m hoping to breastfeed so going to see how I get on with it once baby girl is born.

Does everyone have a name yet for their little one?