Pregnancy after MMC

[sadtoday21]

Hi everyone! I moved our thread over here so we can all keep in touch as we continue on this journey.

Many congratulations again to @Amanda81 on the birth of your beautiful baby girl Holly! Our first baby on the thread. Also tagging the regulars @Catconfusion @Kiki061190 @bananamonkey. Newcomers welcome as well!

Hello everyone and thanks again for your lovely messages. I booked a viability scan today for Tuesday 28 January when I’ll be just over 7 weeks. Two weeks and counting! I’m hoping I will allow myself to get a little more excited after that, all going well. I’m seeing my GP on Wednesday so will mention the pregnancy then and see if an early scan might be at all possible on the nhs.

@catconfusion I’m sorry to hear about your hyperemesis, it must feel wonderful to have got past that stage. Hope the arthritis doesn’t get any worse. Do you suffer with that regardless of whether you are pregnant or not? That must be hard being self employed but health comes first and I hope you are enjoying nesting. Re 2 mcs being bad luck, I agree. Mine were different types and apparently unlinked so here’s hoping…probably doesn’t help that I am 39, turning 40 in April. But I do eat well, keep a healthy lifestyle and my DS keeps me active!

@kiki061190 That’s a lovely time to finish up at work. I did the same with my DS and then he came at 7+2 so I ended up have a month of pure self-indulgent mat leave. It was glorious! And the full year is great – I initially thought I’d go back after 9 month. Pfft! Once I had my son I was in no rush!! That year was hands down the best year of my life. I’m so excited for you all.

@bananamonkey I did hypnobirthing too! Found it so therapeutic and I used it for ages and ages after having DS as the affirmations used to me to sleep! I’m sorry that your DD is unwell. It’s the pits having a sick child and I hope she’s on the mend now. How old is your DD, what will the age gap be?

@mamaB80 it was really horrible. I couldn’t do anything and was pretty much on bed rest until 16 weeks. Once I got past 20 it seemed to go.

I had severely dysplastic hips when I was born so the arthritis has developed over the years. I’m 40 and this is my first baby so I’m hoping my hips don’t suffer too badly. It may be a c section for me depending on how I get on.

In all fairness I don’t think my body had recovered from the first when I got pregnant again causing the early loss. I was told I could try again but didn’t expect to fall so quickly. I’ve read a lot about age and thought about whether it’s the cause for me but plenty of young people have miscarriages. The statistics are still pretty good for someone of 39/40 to hade a baby. So long as hormone levels and bloods look normal it’s likely just bad luck.

I’m sure your chances are really good this time. Great you’ve booked the scan. It’s going to be a nerve wracking couple of weeks but you’ll get there! Xx

Thanks @MamaB80 she is actually much better now, I hate it when they’re unwell There’ll be a 3.5 yr age gap, but more than I’d wanted but hoping they can still be close and it’ll be a bit easier as DD is so much more independent now, plus she likes being a little helper!

@bananamonkey So nice to hear from you! Sorry DD is unwell, hope she’s better ASAP! Oh it’s so crazy we are all coming into our final trimester. I still can’t believe it’s just one week tomorrow until I’m into the final one. How prepared are you? I got a nightgown (I’ve never worn a nightgown in my life before) and a thinner dressing gown for the hospital. It feels so weird starting to think about all of that. Any tips on what to pack for baby and myself?

How prepared are you getting your nurseries ladies? We’ve ordered furniture but it’s not due until the end of Feb. I have a list of things to do every single month to try and spread out everything 😂 I feel constantly busy yet all I want to do is sleep 😂

Hey ladies! Just on the way back from Scotland now. Babymoon was very nice in the end, if a bit tiring. We bought some really cute winnie the pooh outfits for baby boy, the first time DH and I have gone clothes shopping together. And the scenery, fireplace, and food were all fab. All that being said, I don't really recommend going on a babymoon at 32+ weeks if I'm being honest, although I did manage 10 mile hikes most days. It's just not quite as comfortable and romantic as in the second trimester. I was wondering when my energy would fade and I would get huge - and the answer is now! So for those of you just entering the third tri, definitely get everything done asap.

@Kiki061190 speaking of getting things done asap, you are way more organised than me! May I ask why you are doing the hospital bag already? I thought most people do not start until at least 32 weeks, some closer to 36/37 weeks. But now you've made me feel like I should get a move on it! Let's share lists of what we are packing :).

@Catconfusion have you started or are you going to start nct classes soon? Sorry, I can't remember! Glad to hear you are doing so well and hope your sickness doesn't return in the third trimester.

@bananamonkey let us know how the hypnobirthing refreshed course goes, I've been interested in looking into that myself. Did you find it useful last time?

@Amanda81 hope your recovery is going well and that you are managing to get some sleep!

@MamaB80 welcome to the thread! I was so sorry to read of your previous loss and we all understand the pain and anxiety so well. Being pregnant after MMC is not easy at all. As others have said, the first trimester anxiety is generally the worst - I dealt with it by having scans almost every two weeks. I refused to get to 12 weeks again and hear bad news without knowing sooner that something was wrong. That being said, I didn't relax as much as I thought I would after the 12 or even 20 week scans. Other ladies on here are a bit stronger than me it seems, but I didn't (and don't) have really strong movements due to anterior placenta and so I still do often feel quite worried. It's very up and down tbh - one day I'm relaxed and look forward to the future, the next I'm convinced it will all go wrong and I'm in despair. I'm usually pretty emotionally stable, so this rollcoaster of emotions is draining and overwhelming. Since 12 weeks, I have had scans every month and midwife checks every two weeks and I take my blood pressure at home. It just helps me to feel I am doing something to monitor baby, even though I can only do so much really. I'm 32 weeks now and use the kick count app, etc., to try to track baby, but the reality is that he sleeps all the time when I'm moving about, so busy days are quite stressful. Just hoping for the best and talking to these lovely ladies when it all gets too much. I hope you find some comfort here too!

Thanks for all your replies. I've been a bit quiet as I work Mon-Wed so those three days are a bit of a blur between nursery drop off-work-pick up-bath and bed! Can't remember what I used to do in the evenings before we had DS. At pick up time yesterday his friends heavily pregnant mum came in. He said "Cameron's going to have a baby, can you put a baby in you tummy, mama?" Oh how my heart aches to be able to tell him!! But we have decided we'll wait until 12 weeks.
So glad for you that you are all further along. At 5w and 2d I've a long way to go. 13 days until the scan. Keeping my eyes on that milestone for now.

Hi @sadtoday21 I’m actually not packing it until about 32 weeks but I’m just starting to pick things up and pop them away just now so I have them when I come to pack if that makes sense? I literally have no idea what to pack for my bag!

Hi @sadtoday21 yes I found hypnobirthing brilliant, I would recommend it to anyone. I didn’t get on with all visualisations but the breathing techniques really helped, I managed not to need any drugs which may just be down to luck but I think it definitely gives you the confidence to feel like you can get through it. I also noticed the classes were the only nights of the week I had a decent night’s sleep in that last month so the relaxation works if nothing else!

There’s loads of suggested lists you can find online @Kiki0611090, I’ll put mine below (more spreadsheets I have 😂) but my main take aways from before were to take twice as many pads as you think, cheap black knickers you don’t mind throwing away and if you do end up staying on the ward afterwards then bear in mind that post-natal wards are the hottest places on earth! DD didn’t wear a nice going home outfit, she just wore short vests (it was also the hottest Sept day on record outside) and I wore vest tops and leggings. And there weren’t enough fans to go around.

You - maternity notes, stretchy pjs/nightdress, phone and charger, large dark undies, pads, comfy change of clothes, nice towel (hospital ones are crap), bikini top for pool, nursing bra/top, toiletries, handheld fan, snacks (Haribo type sweets are good for labour when you can’t eat but need some energy), breast pads, paracetamol, light dressing gown, slippers, carrier bags for dirty clothes.

Keep extra bits handy e.g. in the car should you end up staying in afterwards - more clothes, a nice pillow, extra towel, flip flops for the showers etc. Our hospital limits you to one carry on sized suitcase but we’re lucky we live close to the hospital so DH can pop back for more stuff.

Baby - vests, sleepsuits, nappies, wipes, cotton wool, hat, muslins, bibs, blanket, car seat. Bottles/Formula if you’re not planning to BF.

Dad - phone charger, snacks, drinks, cash

If you’re being induced then more things to keep you entertained as it could be days before you even get a slot on the ward.

@sadtoday21 and @bananamonkey I would definitely second the Hypnobirthing recommendation. It gave us (my husband came along to classes...which I really surprised me as the term Hypnobirthing sounds so airy fairy!) a better understanding of the physiology of child birth and how the breathing techniques help. And boy, they sure did help throughout my labour. I picked one visualisation technique it used it throughout. And as my husband had been to the classes he was able to prompt me when I'd get nervous and forget to breath! He's very calm by nature so that also helped. Even now when I go to the dentist or when I had my coil taken out (ouch) I use the same breathing and visualisation. There's so much you can't control about birth, like if the baby is breach or a million other things but exactly as @bananamonkey said Hypnobirthing gives you the confidence to go into it knowing you can do it.

@bananamonkey I too had a spreadsheet! For everything!! Re packing your bag, I popped it into YouTube and there are some brilliant suggestions on there.

@MamaB80 Doesn’t the first trimester feel Luke the longest ever?! It’s so crazy how much quicker it goes once it’s over. I’m 27 weeks today and I’m starting to think of all the things I need to have done by the end of each month so I’m not overwhelmed before the baby! Your DS will be so delighted once he knows!

@bananamonkey Thank you so much!! There is so much info out there. I’ve started putting together an amazon baby list of things I need to buy and have started stocking up on nursing bras ect. I don’t want to be caught out when it comes to packing my hospital bag. With you DD did she come close to her due date? I have 10 weeks of work left now and I have to say I’m quite excited to finish up, I never thought I’d say that but I’m starting to feel heavier and more tired now. How have you been keeping?

@Kiki061190 she came at 39 + 4, I was totally expecting to be overdue as everyone says you will be. I’ve got 10 weeks left too although I might use my holiday and finish a week earlier. I ended up finishing at 35 weeks last time as I had tonnes of holiday, I don’t regret it one bit. It was lovely having time to myself to rest, sort baby stuff and cook for the freezer. Plus I know 3 people who went into labour at work/straight after finishing! I’m pretty huge to be honest, I looked at pictures and I’m about the same size as 31 weeks last time, moving around is getting more tricky (putting socks on is fun!) and I’m a bit tired. It is harder this time round when you have limited time to yourself but I’m lucky I’m healthy and everything seems to be going well.

Hey ladies, sorry for the absence but things got a bit hectic.

I had my 28 week appointment today and I’m quite upset and confused. Baby is huge. He’s in the 98th centile and already weighing 3 and a half pounds. I’m now getting the gestational diabetes test. The doctor said it’s still unlikely I have it but it’s worth checking. It annoys me because I told the midwife I had concerns about how big my bump is but she wouldn’t refer me or even measure the bump.

The other thing that came up was the consultant thinks I’m a high thrombosis risk. I tried to get out of him why as I was a normal weight when I fell pregnant, non smoker and my blood pressure is always on the lower side of normal. He said it’s my age and my mobility issues. Again I’m confused because I’m fairly active, even with my hip problem. He then said high bmi could be a problem. This really annoyed me as the midwife said my weight looked healthy and normal. Honestly at the clinic today I was amongst the more petite ladies so not sure how my bmi is suddenly a problem considering I haven’t even been weighed.

Anyway the course of action is heparin injections every day to keep my blood thin. I’ve collected the equipment to do this but it still feels a bit extreme. I will hold off until I see my midwife on Tuesday as there was no one to show me how to do it.

Also they found protein in my sample so I’m also now being monitored for preeclampsia. As my blood pressure was normal today this is just a precaution as there are other factors that can cause it.

Needless to say, I’m worried. I had a cry in the toilets after the appointment. The good news is his vitals are good. It was a pretty clinical scan and we were rushed through so didn’t really see much of baby. We were told heart and major organs are all normal and he’s looking good but just very big. The amniotic fluid is good so I’m unlikely to have him early.

The consultant is pushing me towards a natural birth with an induction two weeks early due to my age and how big he is. He did say I can have a c section if I prefer but he wouldn’t advise it based just on my hip problem and age. One positive is he said I might be able to give birth in the water as they now have monitoring equipment that can be used with water births. They only have two in the hospital though so it would have to be free.

Anyway I’m sorry for the rant, I just feel a bit confused. It’s also made me feel bad, like I’ve done something that’s led to him being big. Our diet is reasonably healthy but I guess I could have done better. It didn’t help that the consultant said: ‘make sure you don’t eat all the pies’ as he left. It just made me feel fat and horrible.

Anyway I hope you’re all doing ok!

@sadtoday21 I forgot to say, we start our classes on 27th February. I’ll be 33 weeks then. There are 3 sessions over 2 weeks. Xx

@bananamonkey my tummy has started to feel a little tight. That could be down to the Creme eggs I keep eating though! I just had an email today to say my nursery furniture is delayed until mid March now and one piece won’t come until May!!! Very irritated about the wardrobe being delayed so long as I wanted it all sorted out. It’s hard trying to get everything organised!

@Catconfusion OMG! How rude he said that to you! I am so sorry you had to go through that. So sorry you’ve had such a horrible experience and such a worry. Baby boy is just getting nice and chunky for you 💓 honestly I don’t think it’s down to your diet. From what I can tell you seem to have a healthy diet, don’t worry about what you are eating. I’m also keen on a water birth but again it’s only if one is free at my hospital when I go into labour which is hard to plan for! If they do induce you 2 weeks early you’ll be a mama in 10 weeks!!!! How crazy 💓

Oh no I’m sorry your furniture got delayed. What a pain! I hope you can find storage solutions in the meantime.

It was really rude and really upset me. Now I’ve found out for about GD it quite often has nothing to do with weight. Hopefully he is just big but he’s a whole pound over what he should be so obviously glad it’s being investigated. I know it’s crazy that it might be over at the end of March. I’m hoping since he’s recommended a booked induction we might be able to book the pool and monitoring. It’s difficult though as it can go on for days. I really hope the timing is right for you and you get a water birth too. It seems so relaxing and everyone says how good it is. Xx

Meant to tag you @Kiki061190

Oh no @Catconfusion that sounds like a really disappointing appointment, I would have cried too! He sounds very insensitive and the information a bit confusing. I know the scans can be massively out when estimating weight so I wouldn’t stress too much. One of my colleagues had GD with both her pregnancies, she’s under 5’ and really slim and her bumps were not huge, it’s not related to weight. That’s great about the possibility for a water birth though, can they do they monitoring at the MLBU? Just wondering as I think there’s only 1 pool on delivery suite but MLBU has 3 so there’s more chance of getting in. Are you seeing the MW soon? Hopefully she can give you some more reassurance x

That’s so annoying about the furniture @Kiki061190, I know you will just want to have everything ready.

Just back from my 4D scan ladies, having to go back as baby girl was a bit of a madam and tucked her spine in front on my tummy and curled up with her hands over her face 😂 she’s measuring well though and is now 2 pounds 5oz! We saw a small bit of her face and she looks super cute. She gave us a smile. Back on Monday evening to see if we can get a good shot of her face.

@Catconfusion You are absolutely right to be annoyed. You were treated badly! My OH was a massive baby when he was born, don’t worry yourself! Fingers crossed they seem so much more relaxed and I do love the water. It’s hard to predict what’s going to happen with labour though.

@bananamonkey I know! We are browsing today to get ideas for the nursery. Have you thought about nursery at all?

Thanks @bananamonkey it was disappointing and we were so looking forward to the appointment to come away with lots of worries. That was my understanding of GD too but his comment about eating all the pies and my apparently high bmi (without weighing me) really made me self conscious and reevaluate everything I’ve eaten.

The chances are the baby’s size will be nothing to worry about and it’s still unlikely I have GD. The blood thinners however seem very extreme for someone active with no underlying health issues. I’ve heard the injections are not very pleasant either so I want to feel the risk warrants them and currently I don’t.

I’m not sure about the pool situation. He just said in my case they could probably sort something out. I was under the impression I couldn’t be in the midwife led unit. He said he’ll talk about it more next time.

We see the midwife on Tuesday so thank goodness it’s not too long. I will call the consultants secretary on Monday as I’m not even sure if I should stop my aspirin if I start the injections. We have the GD test on Thursday and then two weeks on Friday it’s back to the consultant after another scan.

Honestly we are relieved baby boy is doing well and I’m sure it’ll all be fine but just some potential for more serious issues. Fingers crossed all ok in the next couple of weeks.

How are things going with you? Xx

@Kiki061190 that’s lovely news. Glad she’s doing well and you got a peak. Such a healthy weight too. Hopefully you’ll get a better look on Monday.

It was just very odd. Also just because he’s big now doesn’t mean he’ll be big at the end considering I’m likely to have him early. He may have just had a growth spurt and the growth scans can be inaccurate. I didn’t like the insinuation my weight or eating could have caused it or will increase my risks. There’s no evidence of that at all! xX

@Catconfusion I'm so sorry your appointment didn't go as well as you hoped, it sounded awful! I knew without even reading further that your consultant was obviously a man - to say something so insensitive about your weight during pregnancy! Why do people think they can comment on your body and every little thing you eat just because you are pregnant? It's so condescending. I'm also really upset for you that they haven't measured you sooner - I pushed to be measured as early as 20 weeks and, even though it's highly inaccurate, I feel it's still better than nothing. They should be monitoring you more closely and measure you if you ask about it. If you do have GD, which you likely don't, just know it has nothing to do with your diet or weight or anything you have done. And you should definitely push for a c-section if that is what you want, don't be talked into an induction against your will (although water birth does also sound lovely and might help with your hip pain? I think they can monitor baby in the pools these days now). Regardless, the choice is yours and you have to feel comfortable with it. I don't know about the injections, but it does sound rather scary and would definitely talk to midwife about it.

@bananamonkey hope you are feeling better! I think its quite common to feel larger and more tired with the second, especially since you are running around after your other LO! Do you think mid-wife led units would still take you if you have a growth scan or go in for reduced movements a few times? I haven't had growth scans yet, but they said if I went in for reduced movement a second time I would get a scan, and now wondering whether this would mean I wouldn't be able to go to midwife-led unit.

@Kiki061190 that's terrible about the nursery furniture, but hopefully it will come quicker than they say! I haven't done mine yet, but starting to think about hanging up some pictures and getting a nice rug. We don't have much space, so it's not a whole nursery per se, but I do want to make a corner of the room very cosy and chic. Thinking about framing some cute barbar posters in French and looking for a nice nursery rug that's not too expensive. Also found some great changing mats at Matlan yesterday for 8 pounds, but haven't bought that yet. Do you have a theme for the nursery? Congrats on your wonderful scan, that's a great weight!

32+2 weeks today and I bought the first things for my hospital bag! Nothing major, just nappies, breast pads, disposable maternity briefs, and some haribou (thanks for the tip @bananamonkey!). Also bought 3 vests, which I guess are baby underwear to wear under the sleepsuits (can anyone explain to me what babies actually need to wear and whether clothes need to be washed in advance?).

I haven't gotten a scan yet, which is making me anxious, but the private ones are 90 pounds and they don't include the doppler which is what I want to check blood flow. I want to check for vasia prevaria and any potential placental issues which can be really serious and are easily detected on ultrasound. Do you think I should go into monitoring so they can scan me? Not having reduced movements though so I'm not really sure about doing this...not sure what to do. And, as an aside, @Catconfusion its not the same as your legitimate health concerns, but I also have concerns about diet and I'm peeved at DH who told me this morning that my usually stick-like arms are now slightly "flabby." I told him he can kindly fuck off. I've gained 8 kg thus far at 32 weeks and that is on the low side of the scale. I was a size 8-10 before pregnancy, so it's not like I'm huge now. Plus I'm too worried about keeping our baby alive to care right now and, I've been working like crazy to help him and keep my career on track so excuse me if I'm not weight lifting every day at the gym right now! Seriously. Ok, rant over!

Ah my GTT is on Thursday too! @Catconfusion, hope you can get better information from the MW and secretary.

All fine here, just in the lull where not much is happening but she’s moving a lot which I’m grateful for. A bit of insomnia and tummy troubles but I’m generally fine, will see MW finally the week after next.

Great news from your scan @Kiki061190, hope she wants to show off a bit more when you go back! We already have a nursery as we moved DD to the bigger room just before the MMC last year so everything’s set up, just been using it as a bit of a dumping ground since and I have no idea where I’m going to dry laundry when the new baby moves in there 😂 Am throwing my energy into getting the hall decorated instead, DH thinks I’m crazy.

@bananamonkey My OH seems to be keen to paint baby girls room lilac. It’s just a light grey just now so we’ve picked up a couple of lilac testers from different brands to see how we get on. My main focus is to get the third room ready so that is all done before we begin baby’s nursery. I stupidly furnished both spare bedrooms when we moved in and now we’re deciding what to keep and what to donate away! We also have joiners in to build in more storage mid next week. I can’t wait for things to start looking organised again. What are you having done to the hall?

@Catconfusion I think it’s crazy they haven’t measured you until now! I was measured from 16 weeks onwards. You hear all these tales about people being told they’ll have big babies and then their kids come out 8 pounds! Ridiculous to give you that worry.

@sadtoday21 Oh no! I can’t believe he said that! Forget that comment, men don’t know how to word things. I bet you look amazing! You are carrying a baby and that is the best thing your body can do. That’s so expensive! I can’t believe scans cost that much! We were £65 for a 4D and that included listening to heartbeat, checking blood flow and placenta and measuring all of the baby. Plus they invited us back to have another complimentary scan to get more pictures of baby and we get a video to take away!

Glad you told him to F Off @sadtoday21, it sounds like you still look super slim and your body is doing an amazing thing! I’m looking a little chunky but am at the point where I don’t really care, I’m doing some exercise and eating lots of fruit and veg, I can go on a diet later.

I haven’t been measured either so it’ll be 28 weeks when I they do but I don’t really believe it’s particularly indicative of anything.

That sounds lovely @Kiki061190. The hall needs decorating and a new floor, we’ve not done anything since we moved in and the paintwork is looking shabby, plus the cream carpet is completely impractical, especially as we park the pram in there.

@sadtoday21 yes you normally dress babies in a vest + sleepsuit (unless it’s boiling hot) then add layers if you go out, general rule of thumb is one additional layer from what you’re wearing. I would wash them first, it’s lovely seeing the teeny clothes on the line.

If you buy a Grobag they come with a little card on advice for nighttime dressing.

gro.co.uk/download/grobag-wear-guide/