September 2019 #9 - for Twittlebee **title edited by MNHQ**

[IVEgottheDECAF]

New thread ladies as i feel the end of the last one may fill quickly following last nights news!

Once again congratulation Twittle & family

Have a lovely day today Twittlebee. Please try not to beat yourself up for being emotional or upset about it, it will no doubt bring a lot of emotions with it, but I hope it's a beautiful day to celebrate your beautiful Roy x

Hope today was ok twittle and you shared lots of memories together with your friends x

Hi,

Yeah it was a lovely day. Emotional as expected but so beautiful. Unfortunately there was a bit of family drama though too, I didn't invite my whole family as I haven't a big house and only really wanted my close family there. My Aunt took offence she wasn't invited and bitched about me on my Facebook post (had to keep deleting her comments so I just unfriended her). And so she then bitched about me on her Facebook apparently and to my Nan. So that's upsetting.

Then Sunday was lovely too, we went to this Teddy Bears picnic event to raise money for a charity that helped us with Roy. Was so well organised and just a great vibe.

Hope you've all had good weekends? Baby news yet?

Oh lord twittle the last thing you need is a drama llama aunt!!!!! If you can ignore and rise above that's the best plan. Hard to do!!!
V glad it was all lovely other than that though!

Thought I would post this on here as don't want overshadow all the lovely baby news with my pain...

So, had my hospital notes back and had 2 medical friends look over them with me. It's really clear I had an infection from the first lot of bloods they took from me yet it was apparently completely missed by the doctors. So might be a case of neglect...

Oh Twittle that's horrible! And makes it so much harder to get your head round what happened, and get some resolution. I'm so sorry to hear this is happening.

God @TwittleBee what a couple of days. First the aunt, what the actual? Why do some people believe absolutely everything is about them? I hope someone informs her she's a bitch.

Secondly the hospital, god I don't even know what to say about that. What do you do from here? Will there be an investigation into how and why it wasn't acted on? We all trust them so much don't we, it's scary.

@TwittleBee sorry I didn’t realise this thread was still active. I’m glad the day went well for you and you’re so good for doing charity events as well. It’s such a shame that your aunt put a dampener in the day but you did the right thing to ignore her.

I’m so sorry you’ve learnt this from the hospital notes as well - there must be an investigation into this surely?

Sending you lots of love xxxx

Thanks all x

We have decided to go down the claim route. Already have a solicitor on board now. She has pointed out that haven't even given me all my records, there's a lot missing. So having to make a further request now, so could be a 30 day wait for them. Also request the hospital's policies and procedures.

Ouf @TwittleBee that's tough going. The last thing you needed.

I'm sorry to hear that @TwittleBee
Hope you get the full records straight away.

Oh @TwittleBee I am so sorry to read this. I'm hoping you don't have to wait long for answers. Thinking of you xx

How are you getting on @TwittleBee ? Thinking of you!

Thank you for thinking of me Dusty - really struggling tbh. Lied to my family about being sick yesterday when in reality I couldn't face seeing them all but felt too guilty in telling them that and have them worry about me or think I'm just flaking on them...

Last night I had a panic attack too which was horrible to deal with alone. DH was on a night shift so wasn't here when I really needed him.

Today started out a bit better, I looked foward to going to the beach with DS and a tired DH but once we set up camp on the beach we became surrounded by newborn babies. I guess their parents thought the coast would be cooler for them. DS of course was fascinated by all of them and kept asking me if he could have one.

This heat is a constant reminder of what is missing too. Just wish it would hurry up and be cold already. I should be all heavily pregnant and swearing about the insufferable heat.

Urgh, sorry to offload like that. Just getting really hard again with it being the 37 weeks milestone on Tuesday. I keep thinking about 2 alternative universes, one where I'm still 37 weeks pregnant or the other were Roy was born early but survived and would be ready to come home any day now

Oh Twittle those milestones are just going to keep coming.
In a way you didn't really lie to your family- you are sick with grief, and how could you not be. If you were a Victorian you'd still be indoors in black, and nobody would expect anything of you.
Im sorry to hear about the panic attack, I'm glad you recognised it for what it was though.
The beach sounds tough! And so hard to answer you DS's questions.
Hopefully some easier days to come, to balance some of these harder days.

How's it going @TwittleBee ? Thinking of you xx

How are you @TwittleBee? Thinking of you!

Hi Twittlebee, hope you're coping okay- I know every month is hard but I suspect this one is one of the worst yet. Just wanted to let you know that I'm thinking of you xx

Same here, Twittle. You’re in my thoughts x

Good morning,

Thank you for still thinking of us x

Thought I should let you know the update - we saw a consultant on Friday.

It was a bit of a disaster. He didn't know we were coming or who we were (despite having an appointment letter). So after already needing to make the long and difficult journey down the long corridor towards the maternity ward, past many heavily pregnant women and newborn babies going home, and then past Neonatal, past the labour ward and through to the Consultant Clinic which is in with the Ultrasound department, so again many excited pregnant women there, we were shoved into a side room and told we would have to wait another hour before the consultant could squeeze us in...

He didn't have a chance to look through my notes properly, or answer my questions I had in detail.

My bereavement midwife didnt even show up for support - honestly I do not see the point in them as they have given me no support.

But we did learn a few things from that meeting as the consultant did have a quick flick through the notes during the meeting and asked me to tell him what happened (which was hard, reliving it all)

The biggest thing we learnt was that there were 3 key moments in which the infection should have been spotted and could have been treated - possibly even preventing the EMCS as Roy wouldnt have declined in the womb. But also Roy should have been given antibiotics as soon as was born but wasnt so again sepsis might not have taken him as it did if he was treated properly... So there is a case for negligence.

Consultant has put me onto 5mg folic acid and said we can start TTC 3 months post EMCS, so end of this month - although we have actually already started... In the TWW now.

Next pregnancy I will be given scans every 2 weeks from 6 weeks and constant blood and swab tests too.

I can go for VBAC and as soon as either my waters break or I go into labour then I will be on IV antibiotics.

Hope many of you have had your gorgeous babies now and are all doing well?

Morning Twittle, if it's too hard to update here then it's completely understandable, please don't feel like you owe us anything! We just wanted you to know that you were in our thoughts.

The news about Roy is so heartbreaking and scary, so many what ifs? Did they test for infections/ sepsis at all after his birth? I remember at the time you said nobody seemed sure what was happening, whether you needed to be induced/ csection, that you had some of the infection markers, it just seems shocking- especially with the rise of sepsis at the minute- that they didn't test Roy for it too.

And as for how they are handling your after care, that is bloody disgraceful- firstly to have the appointments there, which deserves reporting to PALS anyway, but to not have your appointment ready for you 😱 I hope all of that is going in your negligence notes.

Good luck for the TWW. If it turns out successful, do you have to be in the same hospital? Are there any others locally where you can go to help save you some distress? And are they offering you any extra support emotionally as you are going through it all?

There are lots of babies arriving thick and fast, but this one is staying put for the time being, little monkey- showing us who's in charge already.

Yes, Twittle exactly what KnobJockey said- we are thinking of you but please don't feel like you have to report back to us if it's hard!

That appointment sounds horrific. They really haven't got anything sussed have they!! Some constructive things though in amongst the shtshow? Re the future at least.
Good luck for the TWW. You are a strong woman to be able to throw yourself back into that, it messes with your head!

Can't really add anything to what the other ladies said but you are so much still in our thoughts, can't imagine how hard that meeting was but you are amazingly strong both for going through this process and ttc! Xxx

You still amaze me twittle. Lots of love to you all and I have everything crossed for you for your TWW.

Give that hospital hell, make sure they learn from the horrible tragic mistakes at least.

So pleased you have a game plan in place for the next time, it's always reassuring to have a plan.

What the others said! This is so shocking Twittle. I'm so very sorry this happened to you.
I hope the negligence case isn't too stressful and the hospital learn some lessons from it.