September 2019 #9 - for Twittlebee **title edited by MNHQ**

[IVEgottheDECAF]

New thread ladies as i feel the end of the last one may fill quickly following last nights news!

Once again congratulation Twittle & family

Welcome pumpkin

I was sick a few times a couple of weeks ago but have been ok this week (now 30+6)

Pram - i have chosen the cosatto wow in hygge house which isnt the fabric i really wanted but that one was £300 more which just seemed silly! It is being delivered TOMORROW!

Hi @PumpkinPatch000, so sorry to hear about your previous losses. I'm a late joiner to the group for the same reason, totally understand how that anxiety never really leaves you.

I'm lagging behind a lot here with a due date of the 25th Sept, but celebrating reaching the third trimester today. Currently packing up the house as we're moving this Saturday... what a great idea that was

Just started a few videos from the positive birth company and this woman is brilliant. Only watched a couple so far but such logic - she’s been talking about setting the scene for labour and how we need to feel relaxed and safe (like other mammals). She likened being able to labour effectively in a brightly lit hospital labour ward with medial staff milling about to whether you’d be able to go for a poo in a room with people coming in and out, watching you and taking notes 😂 it’s an obvious point but one I hadn’t really grasped. She offers some good tips for how to create a calm environment even in hospital. Watching avidly! Might be a home birth convert after this lol

Hi all, haven't posted for a while, but have been following and catching up!

Congrats @TwittleBee, hope all is going well with your little man and you are recovering well! Sending you lots of hugs!

Is anyone here having a planned c section or has had one before and can share their experience?

This is my first baby and I'm now 30+4, but I have had surgery during pregnancy...on my bottom it's all very personal, and my obstetrician has no idea whether it's safe for me to have a vaginal birth as she's not come across this before. Things I've read online on forums say there is a risk of the scar tearing open as there's now a weakness there and it's still not all fully healed. My surgeon said I'm more than likely going to need another op after baby arrives, however they get here. Nobody seems to be able to really advise me medically what is best.

People who've had babies before...would you risk the vaginal birth or should I ask to have the c section to make sure my existing problems aren't going to go back to square one or leave me incontinent? I know the csection recovery isn't a walk in the park either. The medical issue has made an otherwise easy pregnancy very stressful! I am seeing OB on 29th July, but at the moment I'm veering towards asking for a section which would be at 39 weeks. Time is ticking!

@MrsCatKins golly! It sounds like you need more medical input to inform your decision. What has your surgeon/consultant from your surgery said about natural labour? If there is a risk that the surgery site hasn’t fully healed or is weaker in some way, I’d probably press for a caesarean. But really your obstetrician and your surgeon (or someone from their respective teams) needs to discuss the best plan of action for you. It shouldn’t be left to you to guess/worry about.

@PumpkinPatch000 yep, can relate to others not understanding, I had a complete melt down coz dh couldn't make the 20 week scan and I was going to have to go alone. MIL came with me in the end, whole other annoying story with her then saying things didn't look right , also had pretty serious anxiety before the 12 week scan. Feeling so much better now though, it's so reassuring to be able to feel them moving about... except when they're punching my cervix, that can stop!!

How are you doing apart from the sickness? I've had a relatively easy ride apart from recent GD diagnosis. But to be fair, I feel like I have loads more energy now I've cut the crap from my diet

@BridgetJonesDaiquiri I know...I feel so in limbo. I do have a surgeon appointment in two weeks time, so I'm going to bombard him with questions. If I don't get full reassurance that nothing will get worse then I think I will ask the OB for a section.
I think I will feel disappointed not having a VB but I just don't know that it's worth the risk. I hope my OB agrees that would be a good enough reason!

@MrsCatkins I'm having an ELCS because I had a previous complication at the delivery stage which has a high risk of reoccurrence. There's nothing that anyone could say that would stop me worrying about it and while I found labour to be a lovely, relaxing experience I know it wouldn't be if I was worried about the pushing stage, if that makes sense?

However, I really think the medical staff should be doing more to try to research this for you and help you come to an informed choice.

For what it's worth, my recovery from a vaginal delivery wasn't amazing so I figure that at least I KNOW this time that I'll have a rough 6 weeks and need a bit more support.

Trying to plan ahead for my LO - I have the Cossatto Ooba from my DD and was hoping to use it agajn but can't work out if I will be able to get a buggy board to fit it! I know they're not recommended but am assuming that's mostly for warranty reasons and my pram is over 2 years old now anyway!
Does anyone know or have any experience!?

Is anyone else really struggling mentally at this stage? Sorry that this is so self-obsessed.

I think I've been going through the motions and pretending I'm ok for so long but I'm definitely not and this isn't normal for me. I've had enough of pretending and then people expecting me to be happy and cheerful and grateful.

Every single day of this pregnancy has been such a huge struggle between HG/Nausea, battles for medication, GD, PGP, bleeds, infections.

Finding out that the baby is huge despite all of my best efforts has just completely thrown me and I can't seem to be rational at all. I just see worst case awful scenarios and still haven't bonded in any way with the baby because I can't seem to get my head round him being ok. I look at pictures of my daughter and all I can see now is this damaged baby who was born so big and I blame myself.

(She isn't damaged at all and she was fine very soon after birth, but very large and that's all I can see now)

I can't seem to function very well with normal day to day things, I can't even phone my GP surgery (the admin staff there lied about me three times and left me without medication and insulin needles) so my husband is currently trying to get me an emergency appointment. My perinatal nurse is on holiday, but she just brushed me off and told me I'd start to feel better so can't really see how she would help anyway.

@RonaldWeasley - thank you. So sorry for your loss to and that you have also had anxieties. I feel a sense of relief already being able to speak with people who know what it is like and hearing that they feel the same. It takes some of the pressure off somehow.

Congrats on reaching the 3rd trimester today!

Good luck with the move. I really hope it's as stress free as possible. We moved a few months ago when my sickness was at it's worst but it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. Will keep my fingers crossed it is the same for you.

@BridgetJonesDaiquiri - I've been watching these videos too and also loving them!! Wish i had started sooner... making me so much more positive about things. The thought of home birth also crossed my mind for the first time ever so totally get where you are coming from. Definitely not for baby 1 for me though.

@IVEgottheDECAF Thank you for the welcome!! So good to hear your sickness has been better this week. Hope it continues of you! You're a couple of days ahead of me. Do you know if you are expecting a boy or girl?

@kyles101 I don't blame you, i'd be exactly the same! It's good your ML could come with you although the last thing you needed was putting doubt in your mind. Some people just don't get it. I've had some insensitive comments from my ML and now I just remind her of what we have been through and she soon stops. It's awkward but I can't keep being upset by them every time I see her.

I can understand the anxieties around the 12 week scan as it's the first big one. I wasn't too bad because I was under a private consultant before that and was having fortnightly scans so had already seen baby a few times but it's always nerve wrecking until you hear that heartbeat. I love that I can feel the kicks now, I feel so much more relaxed! So happy to hear you are too.

Punching your cervix doesn't sound good though... ouch!!!!

I'm doing okay but struggling badly with lack of sleep so I have zero energy. The combination of sickness, acid reflux, aches and needing 100 wee's in the night means I'm not getting much sleep at all. Good training for when baby is here haha

Amazing you have loads of energy... maybe I should take a closer look at my diet! Sorry to hear about the GD. I've found it seems to be a lot more common than I imagined.

littlehouse i know the Lascal Maxi board fits a Cosatto wow because this is combination i will be using. Cosatto do say it will void your guarantee if you use a board though. The lascal board may also fit the Ooba?

Thanks so much @PumpkinPatch000, glad to hear your move went well! My parents are coming to help us on Sat which is a big relief. Totally agree it helps so much to know you're not alone with the anxiety, this pregnancy business sure is a journey.

@Stroan it sounds like you've had the whole book of complications/general pregnancy rubbish thrown at you and I think you're enormously strong for being able to say when you're not alright. There's so much pressure to be all sunshine and bloody rainbows but pregnancy is so hard in so many ways and prenatal depression is absolutely a thing that needs to be taken more seriously. Could it be an option to self refer for local mental health services? There's a link on this page about self referring to the IAPT programme but no idea on waiting times etc. www.nct.org.uk/pregnancy/how-you-might-be-feeling/antenatal-or-prenatal-depression-signs-symptoms-and-how-get-help

Pumpkin we are having a boy, this is our fifth DC, we have one DD and three DS already

Stroan Im sorry to see you are struggling have you tried speaking to your mw?

Welcome @PumpkinPatch000 and any new joiners.

@MrsCatKins - gosh how stressful for you. I think I'd be opting for a C section but obviously there would be more questions to ask / stats to see before making that decision.

@Stroan oh you poor thing. Firstly, it's not self obsessed. You are a constant support on this thread. Secondly, with what you are battling in this pregnancy it is not surprising you are now struggling. A pregnancy with zero complications is a bloody exhausting (mental, emotional and physical) slog let alone one with HG, GD and everything else you are facing. It is important for you to hear (and hopefully accept) that it is nothing you have done to make a large baby so please do not blame yourself. Nothing you could have done would have changed that outcome - either this time or for your DD. Who, by the way, sounds like she is completely thriving and you therefore clearly breed lovely, intelligent , caring babies (albeit just slightly above the average size).

If it is any consolation I am struggling massively at the moment - I was having a very easy pregnancy this time round (after suffering with HG with my daughter) until I got to 28 weeks and the Polyhydramnios diagnosis. I am now utterly overwhelmed and struggling to hold it together. Hang in there, I'm glad to hear your DH is supporting you. Feel free to rant on here as and when you need to but know that you are so close to the finishing line!!!! Sending you a big hug!

@ronaldweasley thank you, it's hard just to admit that you aren't ok sometimes and people expect you to be so happy all the time.

I'm in Scotland and my health board have a perinatal mental health team. I'm not due another appointment until the end of July and my nurse is on holiday - but at my initial session she just kept saying she thought I would be fine. Which didn't really help because then I thought I SHOULD be fine.

@ivegotthedecaf I don't see my community midwife anymore as I'm on fortnightly hospital clinic appointments. Both eh midwife and consultant know I'm struggling because I broke down in both of their appointments yesterday. I spoke to my own midwife this morning and she said not to worry and that she would see me after the baby is born. All she could/would do is tell me to call the perinatal team again.

Thank you @happydays00 I'm sorry you are struggling too. Overwhelming really is the best way to describe it.

@Stroan I was just having a little wobble about not talking to the bump yet. I'm sure I should be but it just seems silly, and I have so much on work wise poor baby has just sort of been relegated to the bottom of the pile. Can you pick a day to be sad and feel sorry for yourself (like the rest of today) then decide that from tomorrow you will get onto looking for solutions and positive stories for all your worries? For me, a plan is the best solution to any worry. You have had so much thrown your way though, don't be ashamed that it sometimes just gets a little too much and you need to ask for help. You've always helped so much with me and others so never feel like you can't come here to have a little moan.

Stroan that is really crap, you should have someone you can talk to!

@PumpkinPatch000 thank you and welcome to the board.

My scan was great, babies legs completely straight accross me like they are on a lounger. My "small" baby is bang on the 50th, I cant remember where DD started before she dropped, it's annoying you dont keep the notes, but I'm reassured because I think she was always small.

I got called back to antenatal this afternoon, no one said I had a clinic after xray (one e-appointment, a text and two letters all saying xray dept). I was supposed to rush and be seen straight away, then a nurse refers to me forgetting to come upstairs and I'm waiting. Very tempting to re enlighten them but also a little concerned it about their insistence I need to be seen.

Our antenatal area isnt great, it used to be a separate very busy maternity building and now it's a corridor waiting area where every ailment is seen, people sobbing in pain.

Got a gold star at my first antenatal diabetes appointment with registrar. As I’ve not had a single reading over target since I started testing I don’t have to go back for another month unless readings go haywire.

If I stay diet controlled then they will induce on EDD unless go in to labour naturally before then, if I need medication then they will definitely induce at 39 or earlier.

I blew it though by having lunch out, had an emergency toastie in Costa and got 7.9, but it could be worse! I had to restrain myself from chicken nuggets. At home its fine but I need to find an emergency fast food option that works.

Growth scan Monday and consultant apt next Thurs (that’s for being old rather than GD) so be interesting to hear what they say.

well done Megan

@RonaldWeasley Ah that's really good. Glad you've got some help. Pregnancy sure is a journey, i've been surprised by how little it's talked about.... i've got a few friends who have been pregnant and they barely spoke about anything to do with it. Love your name by the way, also a HP fan!

Thank you @happydays00 :)

@IVEgottheDECAF ahh that's lovely! Having a big family is so nice.. your Christmas's and family celebrations must be amazing.

Thank you @BBell2 :)

Ffs two hour wait in a hot room worryingto see a consultant who told me the same as the sonographer, tried to retake my 28wk bloods and told me I didnt have further growth scans booked, when I have. I'd forgotten how repetitive MW and consultant appointments get when they run almost in parallel. Working day was a bust!

@ivegotthedecaf I suppose on paper I do, my community midwife. But she just said not to worry. I kind of fall between some cracks as I'm giving birth in a different health board area to where I live. Hospital I'm using is 10 minutes away, the one in my official area is 45 minutes away. So there's some things my community midwife can't do and vice versa.

Thanks for all the kind wishes. I had an emergency appointment with my GP who doesn't think medication is right at this stage - there are some risks associated with starting it in the 3rd trimester. He will see me for a chat once a week until baby is here and asked the mental health team to contact me as a matter of urgency. They are coming out on Tuesday.

He also told me to ask the hospital to repeat the growth scan in two weeks rather than 3, as currently planned, as then I have slightly less time to wait to see how bad the growth acceleration really is.

@megan2018 I get amazing readings with chicken nuggets!