June 2019 - Part 6!

[Kescilly]

Welcome to the middle of the second trimester, ladies! Apologies if anyone has been left off the list!

Kescilly, 1st baby, due May 29th

rollerskaterdata, 2nd baby, due 30th May

Sassehmonsta, 2nd baby, due 31st May

Torsz, 1st baby, due 31st May

PeachPotato, DC2, due 2nd June

Fee1234, 1st baby, due 3rd June

Stellarfox, 1st baby, due 4th June

Fiona1619, DC2, due 4th June

Ksjourney, DC2, due 5th June

Mummytomollyandbean, due 6th June

MadeInCornwallx3, DC 3, due 7th June

SK17, DC1, due 7th June

ExcitedMama, DC2, due 8th June

Fabuluce, DC2, due 9th June

Silversister, DC1, due 9th June

Chocomalt, DC2, due 9th June

annihall, DC1, due 10th June

lstef, DC1+2!, due 10th June

Bimbabo, 1st baby, due 11th June

Diamondbutterfy, DC3, due 11th June

Heebyjeeby99, DC1, due 11th June

CrazyCowLady, DC1, due 11th June

KoalasAteMyHomework, DC2, due 12th June

Toasterstrudle, DC2, due 13th June

Napssavelives, dc3, due 14th June

Kimbishop86, dc2, due 14th June

Toomanyflatwhites, dc2, due 14th June

Blondcat, dc1, due 14th June

emily1511, 1st baby, DD 16th June

hexagon01, DC2, due 16th June

R4ch4el12, 1st baby, due 17th June

HoneyPea, 1st baby, due 18th June

2countries1bump, 1st baby (girl), due 19th June

Spargle, 1st baby, due 19th June

Curlypasta, dc3, due 20th June

Holly257, DC3, due 21st June

WeeBean, 1st baby, due 21st June

Bigonesmallone3, DC3, due 22nd June

Pigriver, DC2, due 22nd June

mindthechaos, DC3, due 24th June

Socktastic, DC2, due 24th June

Reastie, DC2, due 24th June

thedocisin, DC2, due 24th June

MauisLeftNipple, DC4, due 24th June

LauralovesLuke, DC1, due 25th June

Coastergirl, 2nd baby, due 26th June.

JBCG 1st baby, due 28th June

@rollerskaterdata it's horrible isn't it? I'm so stressed oh and down and afraid all the time. Definitely not anyone's vision of a happy, glowing, contented pregnant woman

I have good-ish support. Great husband, supportive boss, two useless sets of families/grandparents though...

@fee1234 that's a great pic

Sorry, am trying to keep up with the thread but it moves so fast sometimes! Hope all of you feeling ill or struck down with flu feel better soon.

Oh my @fee1234 that's one of the few 4D scan pics I've sent that didn't scare me 😂 absolutely lovely.

I'm back to being starving again and baby was kicking the you know what out of me in the usual place last night, so relieved. And I missed my viability day but yay to that too!

All fur coat I’m sorry. You’ve been really sick haven’t you? I think that is a huge drain on mh and can make things so much more difficult. I have pre natal anxiety too and am interested in what techniques you’re given. A lot of my anxiety arises from the hospital refusing to answer specific questions about my csection and then telling me there can be no certainty to any of my questions until the day. If they wanted to they could put measures in place to help my anxiety and answer the questions. The mh nurse I saw was useless and couldn’t help and has referred me to someone else to deal with the anxiety but said she can’t do anything about anyone helping me answer my questions (some are really simple like explaining the procedure for planned csections eg where I wait, how long I fast etc). My mw is now trying to get me to see someone onhekp actually answer these questions as she can see I am the kind of person to need tomhave these things sorted to cope. So far consultants have refused to talk to me about it until I am 35 weeks, it’s frustrating that a lot of my anxiety could be helped if someone was willing to just talk through my concerns and work out what they can do to minimise them and realise how much of an effect this has on me mentally. But the nausea/sickness is an absolute brain wreck imo. It’s so constant and debilitating and grinds away at you. I hope things get better for you.

@allfurcoatnoknickers I think that's the thing that got to me the most, this should be an exciting time but actually I just can't wait for my due date so I don't have to be pregnant anymore. The anxiety of everything that can go wrong is actually too much to bear and quite simply, I won't have to worry about it anymore when she's here. I'm glad you've got some support in place, I've also got a really supportive husband and boss and it makes a huge difference

@Reastie I can totally understand your frustration! It's your body and you have every right to know now what's going to happen to it. I'm glad your midwife is helping, that's ridiculous IMO, I can't believe they won't just tell you! ☹️

@rollerskaterdata I feel you. I am desperate to not be pregnant any more, but also terrified of everything that could go wrong during Labour and delivery, and so have a constant state of dread and impending doom. I'm so scared I've had full blown panic attacks over all the awful things that'll happen to me.

@Reastie I'm so sorry you're going through this too. It's awful isn't it? A lot of my anxiety is tied up with feeling so sick, and weak and awful and just completely alienated from my own body and honestly, betrayed. I'm constantly waiting for the next miserable thing to happen. I've never felt so fragile and disempowered in my life.

I'm horrified that your midwife isn't more helpful. How unsympathetic can you get? My consultant has answered loads of questions for me (she's explained EXACTLY how an epidural works at least twice) and even offered to induce me a week early and hook me up to an epidural at the same time, so I won't have to wait and get myself into more of a state. Keep being pushy - I know it's so hard when you want to crawl into a hole and die - but it's what they're there for.

In terms of coping strategies, the psych is having me use an app called insight timer every day, and do lots of meditating to relax and reconnect with my body. Especially to help with my chronic anxiety induced insomnia. We've also been working on normal/healthy fear and anxiety, and what isn't normal. Honestly just being told that a lot of my feelings are valid has been a huge help.

Allfurcoat fwiw pg with dd was the hardest thing physically and mentally I went through, it was the longest 9 months I’ve ever had. I never thought I could put myself through it again. I felt relentlessly sick the entire time which meant I couldn’t do my job and barely left the house for 9 months. This pg is similar in that I’m struggling with almost constant often bone crunching nausea and my anxiety has returned. The time can’t go quickly enough and every day I feel thankful for being a day closer to my due date. I think it’s very hard for people with ‘normal’ pgs to get how tough it can be. I’m so glad your doctor sounds so helpful in putting things in place to help your anxiety. The epidural at the same time as induction was what I wanted last time and asked about but was told they could say anything for certain, it would depend. And knowing I might not get it or might have to wait for hours and might never get one made my anxiety so high! It’s hard to explain how bad anxiety can be as I know everyone feels anxious and worried about certain things in pg, but when you obsess over things and worries haunt you it’s so horrible :( .

@Reastie I'm really struggling to understand why you are not getting the answers you need given the obvious impact it's having in you. This absolutely blows my mind. Can you go up the chain to the queen of the midwives in your area (or whatever we established their job title was!!) or has this already come up on the thread and not worked for you?

I'm absolutely beyond exhausted this evening, we spent the day visiting my family out of town; it was my brother'a birthday yesterday but DP had to work on something today so DD and I went alone by train. Half an hour on the tube plus a 1 hr 15 train ride (with one change) and back again this evening - doesn't sound like much and usually it's fine....but I'm just so so exhausted having got home at 8.45. My whole body hurts from getting DD and the pushchair across the transport network (and she didn't nap today, and I had a shit nights sleep last night). Anyway DP is putting her to bed and I've got my feet up and hoping to sleep soon and feel better tomorrow. I get so frustrated that I can't do what I can usually do because I feel FINE until I try and do just a bit too much and then bam! I'm totally wiped out.

Ive been lurking for a while. My little twinnies are now viable yahoo (I will be 26 weeks Monday). Today we bought the double buggy!

Very busy babies kicking and rolling every couple of hours.

I'm booked for an assessment with perinatal mental health team due to disclosing OCD at booking (harm based intrusive thoughts which aren't fun).

I went to a twin talk at a birth centre and got freaked out. Now anxious about my birth choices and how to get the info I need e.g. NICE guidelines etc for twin pg - and what the risks are. I don't want induction, and I am hoping first twin stays head down (she is currently) so I can experience labour. I am terrified of c section and the recovery afterwards. I have the positive birth company digital pack and have learnt so much already!

Ive stopped work now which is weird but work got too stressful and I wasnt being the best version of myself for the people I support (adults with LD) - was losing patience and was nervous around them with my growing bump. Now to find things to occupy myself altho cant do much before I get tired and/or uncomfortable.

Waves to everyone else :)

@lstef I'm glad the twinnies are growing well! I'm interested to hear more about the pack you got from the positive birth company- would you recommend it?

tbh I wonder if it’s because I don’t fight enough to get answers. I’m just not in a place where I’m able to (I just cry and nod ). It was exactly the same with dd. The furthest anyone would help me was a mw wrote ‘has requested x during labour’ on the front of my notes. This time I am being more proactive in how it’s effecting me mentally but it seems it’s making no difference! Last week I wrote down my history and my issues I have and how I can be helped in appointments as maybe they don’t realise the effect it’s having on me and I don’t explain it well because I get upset. I have passed this to my mw who is going to go through it and see wat she can do to help me. Tbh it’s my last chance! I’ve heard so many people who have had anxiety issues and they were allowed slightly special treatment to help them through and put plans in place to help their anxiety but my hospital doesn’t seem willing. Fgs I had a registrar apt who wrote ‘mood is good’ when I spent a large chunk of the apt in tears!

Itsef I wonder if one twin kicks the other and it wakes up. I bet they do . I love the thought of a baby having a friend already before even born.

@istef

Have you contacted TAMBA to chat about other folks experience of birth choices with twins and multiples?

@Paul I'm part of a twins group and havent specifically asked, but I will. It just seems people go with what theyre told to do rather than having a say in it. My consultant is lovely and will ask her too.

@Reastie - yes I bet they wake each other up - I'm sure they poke each other in there.

@Lauralovesluke - absolutely would recommend. I havent even finished the course (40+ video lessons, pdfs, mp3 downloads) and I understand so much more about why interventions happen and the effect of the language we have as a culture around birth and the fear that gets perpetuated. I am a need to know person so I get a lot out of understanding how the body actually works in giving birth. I got it on offer for £20 for a years access, normally £35. I can do it in my own time rather than paying £200 for a course that I might not take in if I'm too tired. DP has learnt loads as well.

@Reastie I understand it must be difficult. I have my first consultant appointment in just under two weeks, I'm very nervous and feel like I don't even need it tbh (3x episodes of RFM all before 27 weeks). My worst fear is ending up consultant led and it restricting my birth choices. Does one appointment with a consultant automatically make you consultant led? If I refuse to be would they even listen? If you're consultant led cab you still have a water birth? I don't have the answers to these Qs and it terrifies me and almost makes me want to cancel the appointment. I'm seeing my midwife in a few days for my 28 week appointment but I don't even know if she can predict what this consultant is going to say. Aaarrrrgghhhhhh ☹️

Roller seeing a consultant doesn’t make you consultant led at all. It’s totally normal for pg women to see at least 1 consultant about specific issues they have during pg. I would have thought even if they wanted you to be consultant led you could also see your mw along side that if you wanted to. I much prefer my mw apt’s as they are at a local hospital and are a small team and very helpful. When I’ve seen doctors or mws at the hospital where I’ll give birth I feel much more like I’m a statistic to be seen and not treated as much like a person. Consultants have more expertise that mws can’t give in certain areas which is why you might need to see them. I don’t see why sewing a consultant would mean you couldn’t have a water birth but it would depend on the reasons for seeing a consultant and what your issues are to discuss. Some medical issues mean water births are less likely or more tricky to achieve bit soeak to your mw about it.

@Reastie thanks for explaining, I didn't see a consultant at all in my first pregnancy so it's all very new to me and just freaked me out a little. My midwife is great so deffo want to keep seeing her regardless. I'm sure she'll be able to further put my mind at rest when I see her this week. Ahh the joys of pregnancy! Don't get me wrong I'm so happy and grateful to be pregnant but it gives me a massive serving of anxiety at the same time

@rollerskaterdata I was consultant led last time and this time. That in itself didn’t reduce birth options. I clarified at each appointment and asked them to write that I was allowed a water birth in my notes!

Alas when I went into labour my BP was high and there was protein in my urine so I had to stay on the monitor and no water birth but basically that could have happened anyway. So no it won’t reduce choices but you really can’t predict how birth goes anyway. Mine was the opposite of my plan but baby and I were both healthy and that is what matters.

I used to have issues with control and have had counselling in the past. I read everything I could get my hands on and had everything planned. It didn’t happen and it took me a while to come to terms with. I’m a lot more open this time and I think having a baby soon teaches you you can’t control anything!

The reluctance of some consultants to give clear info on inductions/ELCS etc is down to that fact that everyone’s is different and they don’t want to say one thing, you get hung up on that and then things change and you panic. I’m not saying it’s right but I can see why they do it (sorry I’m not sure who was anxious at the docs not answering her questions).

@Pigriver thank you for sharing your experience, my labour and birth with DS wasn't as I planned either (when is it ever!), I guess a small part of me hopes it'll be second time lucky in getting a labour and birth slightly more to plan this time (especially as it's probably my last baby) but of course healthy mum and baby is most important. Funnily enough it was my high BP that changed everything too, everything was perfect until 38 weeks when it sky rocketed and I was induced the following day. I would love to avoid induction again, it was so painful 😬

In the last 30 minutes I have spilled peppercorns literally over the whole of my kitchen floor and also accidentally splashed my 21 month old with boiling water (he’s fine), which I think would have sent me over the edge pre-pregnancy but at this stage had me actually hysterical. Fun!

Oh gosh @hexagon01 feet up and some chocolate is in order!

I've just had my consultant appointment today to discuss my CS. Due date is now 18th June and all booked in.
Also think I'm at viability date tomorrow!

@mummysuz yay for viability day!! :)

I've been to the hospital yesterday because of reduced movements. They looked for the heartbeat, found it and said it seems all fine, but baby still isn't moving much at all and I am still quite worried. Are there any good explanations why baby wouldn't move as much as before for 3 days now?
My midwife said in my last appointment that it should now move at the same times every day (what it did for the last weeks with very strong kicks), but now there's just some twitches throughout the day and not much noticeable movement at all... I don't want to call them again but it still concerns me

@annihall I went to a&e at 24 weeks as I couldn't feel hardly anything for 2 days and it was just the position she was in. Now I'm 27+4 and I find some days the movements are much stronger than others - I feel movement every hour or two but some days it's strong kicks and other days it's just slight murmurs. I just figure it depends where she's lying each day!x

I think that's really bad advice to say ur baby should move at the same time everyday!
Sometimes baby has sleepy days, sometimes baby has active days..
No two days are the same for you so why would they be for baby..
If babys checks have been fine @annihall i would say that baby has changed position..
Some days I get strong kicks and baby doesn't stop and others it will be a lot less and I think it depends on my activity level too..

@Bigonesmallone3 @Torsz thank you this makes me feel a lot better! X

I really didn't stress about all this at all before the midwife said to immediately call them if she's not moving the same time as the day before... but I guess as long as I can feel some movement happening I shouldn't worry too much... just annoying as you would think they're the professionals and should make you feel more confident about it all rather than making you worry

@annihall when I went in for reduced movements, I asked how long I should wait before coming in for the future. She said “Whenever you’re concerned.” Since babies all move differently, she said there wasn’t a set amount of time. It’s basically whenever it seems concerning to you.

I’ve been quiet here because I’ve had all sorts of new medical issues to deal with. Not even because of pregnancy! Hoping I can get back to my normal self soon. Third trimester tomorrow!