July 2019 (thread 7)

[RooKangaroo]

Sorry, can't think of a more exciting title!

Such a chatty bunch that we're racking up the threads now. Can anyone share the link for the Google Docs spreadsheet? The one I tried didn't work.

Thanks!

We've half-cleared the spare room today. Suddenly feels a bit more real. Where does everyone look for nursery ideas? It's a sizeable room (for London anyway) and I'd like to make it nice as likely to spend time feeding/playing in there as well.

@BeckyButterfly yes we are, think we are going to get the 5 piece set as the shop we went to said their car seats are made by Maxi Cosi and have a high safety rating so that was another plus for us

@StargazyDrifter I've started following loads of different baby shop accounts on Instagram for nursery ideas such as Jojo, scandiborn etc as they regularly post interiors also! Also purchased some mother and baby magazines which have some nursery ideas!

Can't remember if this has been discussed before but how long is everyone hoping to take off for mat leave? I'm planning on a year!

@StargazyDrifter we struggled with deciding about the dual pram thing, because it had taken us so long, but I think the fact that DH's surgery my be time limited, really pushed that factor for us.

I think our criteria are; feels safe, smooth ride for a baby/toddler, not too low, not a small carrycot or seat unit (I've read so many reviews where babies have outgrown their carrycots before six months), looks comfortable for the baby (some seat units and straps look like would be really uncomfortable), sturdy/well made, decent suspension and wheels that are suitable for dog walk, fit in the car, able to have two children on it if needed, a comfortable handle (let's face it, if it's getting pushed a lot, we don't want a handle that's awful - the stitching on the Egg was not for me) and agile enough that makes travelling in narrow or busy spaces easy. Not at all bothered by aesthetics or brand names (unless it's really awful to look at and then I'd avoid).

@Capybaras I love Scandiborn. Hoping for a year here too. Our package is quite basic (6 weeks 90%, 12 weeks at 50% + SMP then the rest at statutory rates so 21 weeks at SMP and the rest unpaid. DH is hoping to take two weeks paternity and two weeks annual leave as well.

Capybaras thanks for that! I'll do the same for a bit and see what turns up. I was terrible at this for our wedding, just never for round to it. Need to do better now as it's more permanent!

FuzzyPixel those are really thoughtful criteria, and lots we've not thought of as not been to see any in person yet. Thanks for sharing them. Totally see how you'd want a double one. And the growth part is an excellent point, of it's right that our baby is long already (they said this at the private scan on Monday, how I've now idea, we're both short!) then we need to pay more attention to that.

Leave-wise, hoping for a full year and possibly to slope off 3-4 weeks early as I have some annual leave built up. I know I might want it on the other side, but it's ever so tempting!

StargazyDrifter I'm pleased it's useful. I really struggle with anxiety, and finding the right pram that meets our needs as much as possible is weighing heavily on my mind. I think we've spent about six hours in total pram testing - it feels like a lot, but for something that is going to be so well used, it' feels like it's very little research. I think our criteria will change after the baby arrives - haha! I've taken a lot of advice from friends and family who are new mums, but it's just such a personal choice.

I know what you mean about the leave being tempting too. I'll accrue about 30 days which I can use next year, but having some extra time off this year sounds quite nice...

Everyone I've spoken too has advised staying in work for as long as possible so you have more time with the baby, so I'm hoping to accrue my A/L too so I can finish maybe mid June but not start mat leave until July - we shall see how that pans out!

Ohhh great criteria @FuzzyPixel I have not thought that much about the pram but yours seems really well thought out! Seeing as it is something you'll use so much I think it's definitely spending the time researching thoroughly! Booked in for the mothercare baby event in a few weeks time (think it's 10% off everything in store) so hope we'll get a good go at prams then, and trying to persuade my DH he can miss some weekend rugby/football for us to go to a large pram centre in the next town!

@HchyScott the car seat is supposed to be really good and it meets iSize regulations which is great.

I’m jealous of everyone having a year off! I can only afford to take 4 months at the most (a full school term) as I’ll drop down to SMP by the start of December.

@Capybaras I’m hoping to stay at work till the start of the summer hols which is the 19th of July. I’m due the 24th.

I'm due on the 19th, but hoping to leave work at the end of June... Then have a year off and ideally use my annual leave to have a phased return to work. It's all a bit nerve-wracking and I'm trying not to think too much about childcare when I go back...

On a side... is anyone else tempted by the Snuzpod?

@FuzzyPixel yes I am! Seen a second hand one on a Facebook selling site for £65 so I might just buy it. I am totally in love with all the snuz rang of bedding and sleeping bags but they are expensive 🙈

Your posts on prams are so helpful. I'm finding it all quite overwhelming, dont really know where to start!

@StargazyDrifter We also need something easy for London and public transport... Very similar criteria!

're mat leave, I'm.thinking of taking a year. I'm due 10th July but go off middle/end of June. As my family doesn't live in the UK I want to be able to take advantage to visit them more than normal. My mum is doing up one of her bedrooms so it's easier for us to come and stay

I've borrowed a next2me crib off a friend who raved about it. They're similar to a snuzpod I think? Love the idea of them!

@HchyScott I love the snuz sleeping bags too - they way they open from the side is lovely, so you don't have to wake baby up. My friend has a couple of Baby Mori ones and they're soooo soft, but they've got the price tag to match!

@blueeyedviking I felt like that about prams last weekend so my husband just took me to Mothercare and made me go round trying all the ones in our price range. It helped loads!

I'm also a London bod and am looking at the YoYo+ by BabyZen or one of the bugaboo. The babyzen is winning slightly due to it being hand luggage compatible and the fold down size. We have a 3 bed terrace but downstairs is open plan with very little hallway... so it's either block up the hall way and always walk through the lounge to get to the kitchen... or have something that folds small when not in use.

Leave wise... I plan on going on annual leave 2nd week July, Mat leave starting the third. I'm due on 28th and I want a nice break before the baby arrives. I will still have 4 days annual leave to use before I go (can only carry over a certain number till March rolls round). So I can have a few days off perhaps in May or June also. We have a holiday planned for April for a few days over Easter - all in all this pregnancy's quite well timed as my holiday allowance renews in April so will still have 10 days extra to carry over for the following year. I'm taking the full 6 months on full pay my company allows, then 2 extra months on stat pay.

I ate a big roast. My belly is so full. Full and happy.

blueeyedviking I will keep you posted on prams as we start seeing them late February onwards.

Capybaras you're so right about investing the time given how big a part prams will play.

With you Fuzzy on anxiety, and it does play into choosing all the baby things for me. I'm getting some treatment as part of my maternity care and the psychotherapist agreed that, given my particular stuff, it would be good to have a clear run between work and the birth, just to get my head around it a bit more and prepare. I don't mean the practical things, more about feeling more centred. Hard to explain but there's a definite feeling to it.

wombatron that sounds v similar to my T&Cs! There is a bar on carrying over more than 10 days and I'm in a bit of a tussle with the managers abuut whether they'd make an exception because they also want me to lead on a load of stuff before I go, which makes A/L difficult.

Btw is the YoYo suitable from newborn? I thought it was an older pram, as a kind of supplement for the main one. I'm not sure where I got that though!

@FuzzyPixel aren’t they just gorgeous 😍 certainly found my preference for baby stuff now, love patterns and the geometric style much more to cutesy character things. My best friends the total opposite to me so we keep spotting things for each other!

@wombatron - completely agree about the use of FB! If you asked any of my 'normal' friends, they'd said I never post on FB. I just get tagged for others sometimes. But the truth is I'm actually on a fair bit, it's just that I'm on closed groups like a mums' group (for my DD), and a few others relating to my interests.

@StargazyDrifter - fingers and toes crossed for the end of sickness for you! Last time I had it to 22 weeks, so expecting something similar this time. It's died way down though, and is just a morning 'gag' or so now.

@reeny19 - sorry for the migraine :(. Also with you on it being shit when you don't get to enjoy weekends. It feels like such a waste x

@HchyScott - lovely news about feeling movement! x

It's difficult StargazyDrifter and I feel for you. I had some vicarious trauma due to a past job, it seemed to trigger some perfectionist behaviours. I've always had them for certain part of my life, but I'd never been overwhelmex by them. I had weekly CBT for around six months las year, and felt a lot better for it. I do keep trying to remind myself of some of the CBT exercises if I feel myself (or if my DH kindly notices that I am) tipping into perfectionism. The best thing I did was see a professional who could help me through the trauma. It sounds like feeling more centred is an ideal place to work towards.

HchyScott, I'm torn! I love a mix of both. The geometric patterns are gorgeous, and we've bought a few bits now, but also me and DH are inspired by books we read as little ones. I struggle to walk past anything related to Paddington Bear. Needless to say, the first bit of furniture we have for the nursery is a bookcase!

Ha. Obviously my perfectionist behaviours don't relate to my inability to proof read posts.

@RooKangaroo I'm on there all the time. I just don't post. I'll continue to watch, for now I'm happy with our group.

@StargazyDrifter yes you're right but you buy the newborn bit separate. It wouldn't be so collapsible for the first 6 months but after that should be good! You can buy a car seat for it also but I think I'm going to go for one for the 360 seats (Joie) that goes up to 2 rear facing and 3/4 forward facing.