July 2019 (thread 7)

[RooKangaroo]

Sorry, can't think of a more exciting title!

Such a chatty bunch that we're racking up the threads now. Can anyone share the link for the Google Docs spreadsheet? The one I tried didn't work.

Thanks!

@Giraffe888 I have that occasionally but it was worse a few weeks back. I would eat 2 or 3 mouthfuls and then couldn't face anymore. Appetite is more normal now but have a few days where I just can't face a plate of food in the evening. Could you swap what you have for dinner for lunch? Not always practical but might be easier to stomach a large meal in the day and then have a lighter meal/snack in the evening?

I'm pretty sure they just get sent out , they did with my last pregnancy but I'll double check when I see the midwife next week !

@Giraffe888 my midwife said yesterday just to keep taking the vitamins and also small improvements like aim for 2 portions of fruit a day instead of 5. My MIL had really bad morning sickness with her first and lost loads of weight but my SIL was fine, your body does prioritise the baby nutrients wise so don't worry too much!

@giraffe888 I’m still the same and still not gained any weight, lost 8 pounds in total but I’m eating what I can face. Cereal in the morning, today had half a jacket potato with coleslaw , throwing in fruit and I have found little pots of rice pudding quite good an hour before bed. Part of my aversion is the cooking- if it’s put in Front of me I’ll gd really eat a good amount if it.

Like @thedust says continue with vitamins and eat what you can stomach, you’ll both be fine.

Part of me is hopeful I’ll be able to keep total weight gain down to 1.5 stones but that’s very optimistic (and not a goal I might add, I don’t really mind just thinking about the flip side!) x

I’m just trying to eat what I can, when I can. The doctors aren’t concerned about it and I’ve lost 11 pounds since my 9 week booking appointment.

So long time lurker in the thread due on the 10th July. But feel the need for a moan about uncaring midwives after my 16 week appointment today. Raised that I was worried that I lost 5kgs in 5 weeks (I’m not overweight to start with) to be told “I don’t mean to be callous but we don’t care”. Then asked if they listened to babies heart rate for a flat out no me- well how do we know baby is ok? Midwife- we don’t! Made to feel like a completely paranoid ftm for expecting slightly more than a bp and urine check.

Evening, who here works in HR? Our restructure came out today... should be ok but have to apply for my job role - slightly tweaked again. And another two potential options... was not a great day for us.

Question is say you get made redundant do you get paid your holiday entitlement on top of your redundancy pay?

@icantthinkofanythingoriginal wow your midwife sounds really rude!

I don't think I'll get to hear the heartbeat at my 16 week appt , I don't think ours listen for it until after the 20 week scan, not sure why, but I'm sure they said that with both my last pregnancies.

Also HR person... if I was ok and worked my new restructured job for 2 months full time then went on mat leave for a year and came back but only wanted to do three days a week how would I stand with that?

@twinkleday I don’t work in hr but have managed redundancy in the past with HR manager. Usually any holiday accrued to the end of the redundancy period is paid as part of the final payment, just like if you resigned and had holidays accrued. Some companies encourage you to take the holiday time but you can’t be forced.

@twinkleday your rights and benefits are protected as your employment status is maintained so it makes no difference that you are repositioned to a new role. All flexible working requests musts be considered and only declined if there is a legitimate significant business impact to your hours being reduced. If that were the case you can ask them to consider job share, they would have to advertise the jo/hours to see if it would be feasible before they decline

Thanks @Yukka think I am planning in asking about return to work about six months into mat leave when I have had time to digest my new lifestyle... and the cost of child care... though if my request it declined probs won't be going back to work I recon and would be looking to try for number two if we are fortunate enough. But I wouldn't be required to pay any leave back no?

@TwinkleDay I think it depends on your company's policy but mine states that if I don't go back for a minimum of 6 months, I have to pay back any enhanced mat pay (which I get various levels of for 6 months).

@twinkleday so long as you’re utilising accrued leave across the year then no, if you take more than that before or after mat leave, then resign, they could deduct any extra days from your final salary payment.

Does your employer know you are pregnant? Making pregnant employees redundant is not ideal for most company solicitors so I suspect their preference will be to reposition you, then everything remains the same.

@yukka I agree, I think part of my aversion is the cooking of it and even being around when it’s being cooked. We decided to go out for tea tonight and I’ve eaten better.

I’m doing ok with fruit, it’s veg that I’m not x

Yes they all know, our mat policy isn't enhanced it's just standard but 6 weeks of 90% so should effect me

Shouldn't

@twinkleday also if you were made redundant you’re still entitled to 39 weeks SMP but you claim it yourself. Job security is good but you might find redundancy package is better than what you will get on mat leave. Depends on how much of a risk taker you are and likelihood of securing new job afterwards.

@TwinkleDay I was made redundant end of last year. My package said I needed to use all my holiday before my last day or lose it.

I hope it all works out for you x

I have a disgusting question coming up:

I am 15 weeks and 3 days. I go to the toilet and sometimes my underwear is a little bit wet. Is this normal? How can I "prevent" it and should I start pelvic floor now?

*first baby

cravingmilkshake I sometimes have quite a lot of completely clear discharge which makes my knickers feel wet. My midwife said that it’s perfectly normal.

If it’s definitely urine though as opposed to discharge then I would say pelvic floor exercises should help. I haven’t started doing any yet which I know is naughty! I’m sure I’ll regret it later 😂

Just as I was reading this my phone reminded me to do my pelvic floor exercises!

Re discharge in my first pregnancy I started using panty liners as it was pretty frequent and I didn't want to ruin all my knickers. Also near end of pregnancy sometimes it was useful if a bit of wee cane out when trying to get to loo or when I laughed/coughed/sneezed.

I heard that midwives don't always listen for heartbeats especially early on as it can be difficult to detect and if they can't detect heartbeat then they have to refer you to hospital which normally meant scan. Cynic in me thinks it's a cost cutting exercise though perhaps it stops stress for mothers to be as well. ( 13 years ago my sister's midwife couldn't find heartbeat so she had to go hospital and had scan baby there and gone with strong heartbeat but my sister still remembers it as nearly losing her baby as no heartbeat..)

So I went for reassurance scan yesterday no more bleeding since Friday but I just felt in limbo and unsure if still pregnant. So baby was fine and heartbeat good and moving round. My placenta currently over opening so scanner said baby probably gave it hard kick and with all the blood vessels in placenta could have made it bleed. In fact while there baby kicked it again. Hour later I started bleeding red blood again. Less worried this time but I had lovely chat with my midwife who said if gets heavy/ cramps etc go back to hospital. It hasn't so I feel ok. Been told I have to be careful next few weeks and try an rest and not too much. Not sure how I will do that with a 14 month old!ow lying placenta can move up by 20 weeks though as it moves up with uterus so I'm hoping that happens. This baby defo making itself known to me ( I had brown spotting for first 7 weeks)

Re midwives in my area you can self refer to 1:2:1 midwives. It's free and they come to your house for appointments. They will even do my glucose test! It will be so much easier with little one around as he can't come into hospital appointments with me. I find my midwife really friendly and nothing is too much trouble. I may have just got lucky but may be worth exploring ( I know one of my friends only referred herself to them at 30 weeks so it's never too late) they will also come with you for apps with consultant/ anesthetist and help explain medical things and make sure you are getting all the options.

16 wk appointment today. She did listen to the heartbeat, although it took quite a while to find which she said is usual at this stage. Bit of an odd appointment "did you bring your urine sample" "erm no because you didn't give me a bottle or ask me to bring one". There was someone who I can only assume was a student midwife present (although she didn't introduce me so it could have been the cleaner...in hoping not) - they just kept bickering and clearly didn't get along. Then I asked about my pelvic girdle pain and I explained it was so painful that sometimes I can't walk - she just said, try not to cough - easier said than done when you have bronchitis. So I asked if there were any exercises or physio I could do and she said "no its just one of those things". Erm great, that's helpful.

@Kentishgal I definitely think you should speak to a dr or a different MW particularly about the physio because I’m being referred to a physio at my appointment tomorrow because I am prone to sciatica. There is no reason why you couldn’t have a physio app. How does the midwife know what a physio would do or say?!
Sorry you had a bad experience. In my last pregnancy I hated my midwife, she was rude and couldn’t have cared less about me at my booking appointment. Luckily, I have a different midwife this time and she has been nice so far.