Due October 2007 ~Piggies into Porkers~

[muppetgirl]

Have I started a new thread?

Hi everyone! Lots of posts, havent read them all.

EJT - sorry that you are feeling worried and upset. Is there any particular reason you are feeling apprehensive or worried? Goodness knows why some men do what they do, sorry that your DH is adding to your stress. Is there anyone else who can give you the support you want? Am sure everything will be fine!

dal ejt has had a bit of an ongoing battle to be allowed to have this baby in the midwifery led unit rather than the consultant led unit because of her having had a section last time. She feels very strongly that she will have a much better chance of a successful vbac in the mlu and this consultant midwife I think has been supportive of this. I think that sums it up in a very short paragraph but I'm sure ejt will put me right if not! I think its about wanting the extra support and backup her dp would provide as well as it being really important that he knows everything that is agreed so that he will be able to support her in the birth as much as possible.

How are you anyway?

Alice-i have to admit, i don't really know how to chill, out! i used to go out on a Sat night and get drunk to let off steam, but can't even do that now, i feel guilty if i sit down or go to bed early, but i really am trying to calm down

Hi alicet - thanks for the explanation! makes a lot of sense.
I am getting tired unbelievably early - so heading off to bed methinks. night all!

Where are all you lovely ladies when I have a quiet night in without dh!!! Hope you're all well

Im here

Hi honey! Hope you're well! Am actually off to bed now - sorry to have missed you! Have been checking out ebay for mountain buggies....

morning everyone - hope you all had a good/better night sleep. Ejt, I'm sorry you're having such a frustrating time with your DH - I am too this morning. Does this sound familiar to anyone else......my DH has to leave to go to work before 6.30, so from 5.30-5.50 he has the alarm on snooze, which invariably wakes both me and DS. I am then wide awake. This morning DS thankfully got himself back to sleep (esp after yesterdays 4.30 start!)but DH thought that as we were both up, he would make no consideration to the fact that showering, dropping things on wooden floors, banging doors, stomping around in big boots makes a LOT of noise (we live in a flat so it's like one big echo chamber). I think deep down he thinks that if he is up, everyone should be up. What a way to start the day - and it's just as bad the other wayround. I try and get early nights (as I'm sure you all do!), he stays up and then wakes me up when he comes to bed.... the weird thing is that when I was pg with DS, he was the epitome of consideration. What happens do you think?? Sorry - rant over!

J20 - I know what you mean abou finding it hard to relax, but you do really need to

alice, meant to say yesterday, I love Paddy as a name (was that name your choice?? noticed that everyone seems to love that one, so hope it was!)and just ignore your mil - my mum still tries to call DS by his full name not and not the abbreviation that he has always been...annyoing but has to be ignored.

apricott, very jealous of the holiday!!

big hello to everyone else, have a good, relaxing day!

Morning all,

Nellie, my dh is a little like this in that he puts the alarm on snooze, then snoozes! I am not a snoozer, once I'm awake, I'm awake. Not fair in my estimation. But we have solved obe problem of me going to bed early -if he wants to xbox (sat seems to be a fav night) then he has to go and sleep in the spare room as it's not fair to come to bed 12-1am and wake me up. (i have made him sleep on the sofa when we lived in a flat)

Not sure how to tackle the snoozing thing, might take one morning and set his alarm at 4am and then have it on snooze on a sat morning -that shold annoy him sufficiently to get his attention.

Is it just me or is the second time round harder in that we get none of the consideration (or wonderment) of the first time?

Yep, you're prgenant, now get on with it! Seems to be the opinion round here.

Morning Nellie - how inconsiderate of him. Going to make you horribly jealous now but my DH leaves for work around 5.45 but he has a shower the night before, leaves his clothes out ready so he only has to whip them on and brushes his teeth downstairs. The only noise we hear is him boiling the kettle for his flask and driving off. I think the fact that he had so many disturbed nights and mornings when DS was tiny that he wouldn't dare risk waking him up early and having a grouchy son and even grouchier wife around when he gets home. Have you tried talking to him, putting his clothes out in another room, asking him to shower the night before etc etc? Perhaps he'll appreciate things more when the new bub is here and he's getting disturbed in the night too

O and yes, despite that my DH is far less considerate this time round. Perhaps its cos he's less worried - I've done it once - kind of thing.

Morning everyone else

Alice - I know you're right about the GTT thing, it just seems like another unnecessary intrusion thats been handed out automatically without really consulting me or considering whether its really necessary. Ah well, I am just an incubator til October

My hubbys alarm goes off at 6am. He turns it off pretty quick. He tries to be quiet in the morning, but isnt always successful He has to get dd up, dressed, breakfasted and off to nursery, but always leaves me in bed
I noticed that this time round his not as good, where as last time it was wrapping me in cooton wool. I think the general idea is, oh well you have done it once, that was fine, you'll be ok this time too

As strange as it is dh is sick today with an upset tummy, so will be coming with me to scan and docs. Im not glad his sick but glad to have him with me
I have woken up with a headache, i hope its not a sign of my bp going up.

Hope you all have a good day

Morning all - thank you so much for all your supportive messages yesterday - I eventually emailed dh to tell him how I felt - I needed to as otherwise I would have just ended up shouting at him by the time he got home ... and that doesn't help anybody ...

Alice - thanks for your incredibly succint explanation to dal - the only thing I need to correct is that this will be my first appointment with the consultant midwife - and she's my only hope really of being allowed to go to the MLU ... and every time I have to talk about it, I end up in tears!

Also, so glad your sil is finally in the mother and baby unit - and don't pay attention to mil - both her complaining about being so tired and her unbelievably crass comment about your choice of name

J20 - please take it easy ... and if you don't know how, find something to do that won't take so much physical energy! I'll send you a good book and some hooks and wool to get you started on crochet if you like! Nice thing about it is you can do it while you're parked in front of the TV - but it has a nice end result!

Went to antenatal yoga last night - bliss ... going to hydro this morning ... also bliss! Am then going to pop into work to sort out a few things, so I won't be back on MN until this evening after ds has gone to bed (dh is away on site today, so I'm it!)

See you later ... honestly, I don't know what I'd do without you all ...

'Is it just me or is the second time round harder in that we get none of the consideration (or wonderment) of the first time? '

Its not just you Muppet, seems to be the same here too. He isn't too bad but he doesn't seem to be taking as much interest this time round. Also I don;t think he understands just how tired I am all the time.

I had a crap nights sleep, went to bed at 10pm, was woken by really bad heartburn at 11.30 and 1am, and then the loo at 3am, 5am, DH has gone on a track day today, so he was up getting ready at 5.45 and ds woke up at 6.30. hoping ds will have a long nap this afternoon so I can too.

Hope everyones day is ok

Hi all

Just another brief pop in to keep in touch a bit like Greedy I can only post on here sporadically so have no chance of keeping up with you ladies.

Sorry to all those having a hard time with inconsiderate DH's etc. As this is our first My DH is being pretty lovely although he is writing a thesis at the moment which has to be in at the end of July along with working full time so to be honest I am cutting him plenty of slack!

I think I am having that rush of hormones somone mentioned down thread hair and skin have gone hideously greasy again and feeling pretty whacked. Also for some reason muppetgirl's post about her DS wanting to do painting made me feel a bit tearful when I was skimming through the thread. Made me think omygod I am actually going to have have a ds or dd in three months that eventually I 'm going to be able to do stuff like that with! don't know why but made me feel really happy and then I started crying - mental or what!

Hi Kittiwake,

We had a lovelt 'moment' with ds last night when we went to check on him before our bedtime. I walked in and he appeared to be smilling in his sleep so I pointed it out to dh who then chuckled. I chuckled at dh, he laughed, then ds started to laugh and then we were all laughing it was so funny!

Dh then gave ds a cuddle and said that he loved him and ds whispered 'Daddy I love you', then rolled over an appeared to be fast asleep again.....

Definately a moment I'll remember x

Sorry to hear so many of you are not having the best time with their dh's at the mo. I think its hard at the mo as we're all hormonal and probably not as good at putting our point of view accross as normal and they're less patient as we've done it before! Fingers crossed you all manage to sort things out - sure its just a blip at the mo.

Dh was out on the piss last night and didn't get home till 1.30. I did wake when he came in but he was being very quiet and i needed a wee anyway. Like you MrsFish I kept waking all through the night - not good. Ds was grizzling a few times too although i didn't need to go in to him and he slept till 8.30 this am which is virtually unheard of!

Nellie, yes Paddy is my fave. I like Adam too but not as much. Anyway by the time this lo arrives we'll probably have decided on something completely different!

Anyway off to play with my little boy and will look forward to chatting later. Hope you all have a lovely day

Oh and hello kitti!

Just to add glad your dh can make it to your appt today lisa although not glad he's unwell. Hope it all goes well anyway

Hi Everyone, hope your appt goes well today Lisa and glad your Dh can make it.

I have to agree with the noisy husbands thing! My DH does try to be quiet and if he is getting up really early he will leave his clothes in another room. But it does seem that the quieter he tries to be the noiser he actually is, dropping things, banging doors etc I just hope that this LO learns to sleep through anything as there is no chance of my DH changing. We would watch TV in bed at night and I usually fall asleep with the TV on DH still watching it, if he is watching something funny he does his best not to laugh out loud but because he is trying to hold in the laugh he is shaking so the whole bed shakes at least he is trying

Tried to post a supportive message last night EJT but the broadband bombed out on me and threw away all my good thoughts leaving me in such a temper I just switched off in disgust...but wanted you to know I was thinking of you and sympathising.

I have to say that those of you feeling unconsidered second time round with dps less interested and involved;..well I'm afraid I'm getting that feeling first time round!Though I muat admit I dont have the problem of DH waking me ..he's incredibly considerate that way, but he is used to me doing a lot of DIY with him and these days he is sniping about how much he has done on his own while I was "resting". Perhaps it is because we have had so many previous dissapointments or perhaps he's preparing himself for the worst when we have this b*** amnio that he is still insisting on or perhaps it is because he's feeling he'll be a rubbish Dad (he hated his own father for years) but he's not yet even felt lo kick!...when I put his hand on my tum he doesn't have the patience to wait for the next kick...it does sometimes make me feel like I'm somewhat on my own in this...or perhaps I'm feeling very hormonal (yesterday was a bad one...crying for no immediate reason almost all day)I just wish he could feel what I feel.

Hello all! [frantically waving emoticon]

Sorry I've disappeared for a few days - I've been out of the office on photo shoots with no computer access, plus we're having some building work done at home, which seems to have obliterated our internet connection...

Been trying to catach up on all that's ben going on since last week, but feel it's probably impossible... had been reading loads and realised I'd barely even touched on yesterday, so I give up and hope that you'l enlighten me if I've missed anything important!

Seems most af you are having trouble with dh/dps being dumb... My dh has his thoughless moments, (like, "Why don't we go to China in September?" and "I know you'll be five months pregnant but you can still do the three peaks challenge with me, can't you?" ) but generally has been pretty good - I think our 12 weeks scare shocked him into touch and he's been quite protective since.

He works very hard, and is stydying for a masters at the same time, which means he's not always as attentive as I'd like, but he's doing it for us, and generally I can't complain. Now I'm starting to look bigger it's a bit easier for him to remember to be be considerate, I think. I suspect that before he (and probably most men) would often just plain 'forget' about the whole pregnancy thing... which is hard for us to understand as we find it quite difficult to think aout anything else.

Anyway, I finally had my booking appointment at the Homerton yesterday - so I officially have somewhere to give birth now. Which is a bonus.

And my midwife actually speaks English this time. Double bonus.

It's a very busy department, but very efficient, and considerate... asked about why we'd changed hospitals and were very understanding about what we'd been through, and how we'd ended up there.

Have to go back in a couple of weeks for more bloods and the results from the first set of bloods done yesterday, so things finally seem to be happening. I also have a number I can call to speak to a midwife if I'm concerned about anything, which is nice to know... I've been seeing you all saying to each other "call your midwfe" and thinking "I don't have a midwife to call..." .

I also finally have a schedule of appointments so I know what to expect, when and where. I'm doing 'shared care' with my GP (anyone else heard of this? I hadn't...) which I think will be good as the surgery is only a 5 minute walk away from home.

So, apart from stupid husbands and winding people up on other boards, (naughty girls) what have I missed? Anyone given birth yet?

DB
xx

Glad to hear you are all sorted now DB, you can relax a bit now

AAAhh Muppet! That little story is just so wonderful, it brought tears to my eyes!!!

I've been landed with the 3yr old nephew (future axe murderer according to most of the family) this morning; we have only had one battle of wills so far (his Mum lets him eat chewing gum !) and we had a big sulk when I said if he didnt spit it out he'd have a poorly tummy and I'd take the whole packet away until him Mum came back! (he eventually spat it out!...lots of praise to him and round one to me!!!) So am now being introduced to the thrills of tellytubbies!
I'll take him to the local community centre drop in play group when this is over...that should burn off the last if the ill will towards me... I hope...keeping all sharp instruments out of reach though!

Hi Kitti, hi DB - no babies yet as far as I'm aware - hi everyone,

On the husband/partner front I seem to have the opposite problem to most of you in that I have to get up early, and dh doesn't and it sometimes feels SOOO unfair - especially in the winter, when it's dark and cold, and when I'm pg . On the other hand, this is 'his' first pregnancy even though it's my second, and he's being good as gold (generally speaking).

Love the - let's go to china in september - comment . We had a couple of similar moments concerning a planned cycling holiday! Now he sees what size I am he realises I wasn't being unreasonable in pulling out of that one.

Floria - sorry to hear you're feeling alone in this. Given what you've been through it must be hard for both of you to find the balance between caution and excitement, and that's apart from all the other things everyone feels about becoming a parent - I remember moments of utter terror when I was pg with dd, real 'what have I done?' moments. Anyway, hope you're in a better place on the hormonal roller-coaster today

Floria sorry to hear you've been feeling tearful and down. Sorry too that your dh has not come round to your way of thinking on the amnio. That will be very hard for both of you I guess - big hugs coming your way.

Can I ask why he is so set on it? I understand the whole not wanting to bring a disabled child into the world thing that you explained before but surely 30 weeks is too late to influence that anyway? Is it that he woudl rather know what you're up against?

Thinking of you anyway...

Hello - thanks for all the sharing of inconsiderate husbands! I saw my midwife this morning and when I mentionned the absent in every way DH (!) she said this is extremely common for 2nd babies and that with her's she thought her DH had been so disengaged for the whole 9 months, that she may as well just go and have the baby on her own - so she did! My aunt also said that 2nd babies are the hardest cause you were so used to the attention, support and care (from everyone) the 1st time round and it comes as a shock and disappointment when it disappears. By the time you get to no. 3 (??!) you're more prepared for the lack of interest!!

I think, like Floria, having lost a LO before this one, my DH is also more saware and cared of potential problems and is reluctant to get too attached if that makes sense - he has talked about this, so to give him credit he is prob more involved than I think. Just need him to wake up when the alarm goes off now! He does get dressed in the other room and to be honest he does try his best - I think he is just incredibly noisy!!

DB, glad you got sorted with a place to deliver etc and lisa good luck with the scan.