June 2019 babies - part 5!!!!

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2nd trimester for all the lovely June mummies out there! Yippee!!!

I also have no bump at all coaster and still have normal clothes. I blame the stone I lost at the beginning!

Glad all the 20 week scans are going well!

I went back to work today after 10 weeks off, threw up 3 times before I left the house and had a couple of ropey moments in work (had my sick bucket with me 🙈) but was grand! Everyone was great, wouldn't let me do too much, no heavy lifting etc I hope I don't feel the consequences of it tomorrow but I feel quite good now.

I haven't worn normal jeans in weeks, basically lived in leggings, love my maternity ones! I wear a uniform in work and they let me wear trackie bottoms while I wait for bigger trousers (tight trousers = booking), which actually arrived today but they aren't bothered if I want to stay in trackies. Got into work this morning thinking my shirts would still be fine as I'm convinced I don't really have a bump but they wouldn't even come close to closing 🙈 Luckily I have a couple of shirts that one of the guys gave me when he left (women's fitted shirts with big tits aren't great!) so they'll have to do until I order more.

Good Morning Ladies!

Good to hear you're all having healthy scans and a boy and a girl, just amazing!

So throughout this pregnancy I've only cried at scans or hearing the heartbeat and they're obviously tears of joy. Last night I couldn't stop crying, I felt so sad! My job is quite stressful and I'm really not enjoying it. I also feel DP and I haven't had fun for a while, just the two of us and feel like we are just plodding along. DP, while hugging me joked it's because in my spare time I've been in bed for 4 months, which is pretty much true! I also feel like I'm more excited about this baby. DP already has two (wonderful) children and this is my first time, he's more practical and I'm like a kid in a sweet shop.

Its also on my mind that my family and oldest friends live a 3hr drive away and will I feel lonely when the baby comes.

Anyway, usually I'm fine with these situations, you just get on with it but last night... Wow. Even when I was OK and we started to watch a film I had tears rolling down. I told DP my eyes must have a leak!

Feeling OK again today, it's Friday (yay!) DP said let's go pram and furniture shopping tomorrow. Although I don't think I want to buy anything until after 20 week scan (in 2 weeks) would you or are you waiting until after your scans?

I hope you're all feeling positive today and TGIF! 😊 Xx

@Curlywurly3 I could have written your post! I've been feeling really emotional of late....my OH also has two lovely children and this is my first. I feel like I'm in it alone and hr doesn't share my excitement/anxieties because this isn't new to him. We also haven't had much fun recently just us two, half our week is taken up with school runs etc, the rest of the time work and exhausted.

I haven't wanted to buy anything yet until the 20 week scan and with no bump or movement I'm just wondering if any of this is really real.

So don't fret, you are not alone! I've found swimming a huge help it relaxes my mind and body and I always feel calm afterwards x

@Curlywurly3 @Heebyjeeby99 we bought a bunch of things after my twenty week scan. But to be honest, I still don't feel ready for it! Baby is starting to feel more real with movements and all, but I feel like my mind is lagging behind my body in this one.

Do you have any local support for when the baby is here? I was worried because I only have a few acquaintances here and everyone else is in the US. But my mom is coming to stay for a month when I have the baby so I thought that could help me transition a bit.

I'm dreading the phone call about GD today.

@Curlywurly3 We are also going 'shopping' tomorrow. DH wants to push some pushchairs around to start ruling some out and making a shortlist - the choice is just overwhelming! We are waiting until after 20 wk scan next week to actually buy anything though.

@CurlyWurly I moved to the area I live now in 2013 and I still wouldn't say I have any friends here. I think it's really hard to make new friends as an adult without kids. Everyone already has their own friends! Although I like my colleagues, my office is far from home and none of them live near me - they live closer to Manchester and I live closer to Birmingham! I'm looking forward to doing NCT and hopefully there will be some nice people there!

Are you joining any pregnancy yoga classes or doing NCT?

@Curlywurly3 I know EXACTLY what you mean about not having had any fun. In a different situation as we already have a DD together, but both work full time, so between that and looking after DD (which mostly falls to me) and all the domestic stuff I have done nothing much outside of busy jobs and sleeping (or trying to!) for months. It's tough but hopefully if you start to feel a bit better and less tired soon you can try to take some time to enjoy a few things with your DP. And i don't know what kind of an area you live in (city, town, somewhere more rural?) but hopefully you can connect with other new mums in the area via NCT or other preparation classes and then groups once the baby is here. Even though I live in London and have been here for a long time I still found what I needed was VERY local friends (ie on my doorstep!) who understood what I was going through in the early days, so baby groups are perfect for that.

Well at least now I know why I've been feeling like shite and not getting my second trimester bloom. I'm anaemic at the best of times anyway but even more so when pregnant apparently, my iron levels have dropped even more since my booking bloods so it's a new set of iron supplements for me at a higher dose, which equals tummy pain and alternating constipation and diarrhoea. Rant over.

I, too, moved to this area in 2013, and haven’t yet made any actual friends locally. There is one couple who we’ve known for a few years, who are unexpectedly expecting a baby a month before ours is due. We really like them, and are making tentative efforts to start a friendship.

Other than that, I start pregnancy yoga this evening, but I don’t think it’s a class exclusively for pregnant women (DH is coming, too!), and I’ve never had success making friends through an exercise class, anyway (or through any other kind of class! Befriending is hard!).

I’ll also be trying hypnobirthing and possibly NCT classes. Hypnobirthing is quite local, but the nearest NCT class is in the nearest big town, so I imagine people attending that will be quite spread out. Maybe I should see what the nearest NCT class is to my nearest small town?

But yes - it is a bit worrying going into this without any sort of local support network!

@kescilly @lauralovesluke @toomanyflatwhites DP is taking his 2 weeks PL and then my mum will come down and stay with us for a week so at least that's some help! I live in South Bucks so lovely for nice walks but I'd like some company! I have two friends here TTC at the moment so that would be wonderful and I have my fingers crossed for them. Other than that everyone is busy with work, socialising and their own children's millions of clubs etc they have joined! If we all lived near each other we would be laughing all the way to the park wouldn't we! :)

I have been meaning to look at pregnancy yoga and NCT. With NCT I've read there is the option of paying a membership or just the classes, so what does the membership include? Bit confused with how NCT works. Also when would you look at starting?

@silversister I'll wait too, although I think I'll look at buying a pregnancy pillow as I was awake on and off from 3am trying to get comfy sleeping on my side.

@heebyjeeby99 swimming sounds like a great idea, its definitely time to start doing some exercising again :)

@kescilly will they call you either way today?

@Curlywurly3 I booked an NCT class that goes March to May because it was what they advised. It runs a bit late for me, because I’m due May 29th, but it was the best option when taking into consideration other factors like location.

They’ll only call me if I’m diagnosed with GD. But between all my risk factors and the baby measuring large, I’m pretty sure I have it. Just hoping I can keep it under control and won’t need insulin.

What is everyone doing for pregnancy pillows? My SIL very kindly bought me one at the beginning of my pregnancy. I picked out the Dreamgenii because Mumsnet seemed to rave about it, and I liked that it didn’t take up so much space that my husband and I couldn’t share a bed.

It’s very nice, but now I’m thinking I might need something longer or bigger. I think this works for most people, but I had back issues even before pregnancy and slept with a regular pillow between my knees.

Should I buy something else? See if this will still work for me till the end? I’m about 21 weeks now so still have a while to go. I feel so bad because it was a present that I picked out!

@Kescilly good luck for your results. I was totally sure I'd have it too, because of how crap I feel and the fact I had it last time. I didn't get a call though so that means negative.

I don't have a lot of support here either. I moved here in 2010 but all my friends are colleagues who have busy family lives. My parents help a lot but they live an hour away. Classes are my idea of hell though!

@kescilly I just have a bolster pillow which means it only takes up a bit more bed it is a double bed size (meant to go the width of a double bed) so means it is long enough to get a good grip round when I put between my knees I like it but it's a little too big just now I think it will be even better when I am bigger. Does mean dh is pushed out of bed a little as is probably about the width of a small person (we have even given it a name he he) and you have to move it if you switch sides. I didn't want a while body surround as hate being too hot in bed and thought one that goes round me would be hot especially near the end.

I agree it is hard to meet new people as an adult! I have some friends around as have been to university in my city, but not really any friends with babies nearby. We have booked on NCT and hypnobirthing and hoping to meet some new friends that way. After baby has arrived I think classes will be good places to make friends too.

@Kescilly I got the queen rose full body pregnancy pillow from Amazon and would recommend. It’s good to be able to put your leg over it on either side, but it does take a fair bit of room and I’m very much in a separate little pod from my partner!

@CurlyWurly that will be lovely having your mum there too. I have paid for the NCT membership because apparently I love spending money unnecessarily - it gives you access to their nearly new sales and discounts with particular brands. I'm starting the classes end of April and my baby is due end of June. When are thinking of doing yours?

Pregnancy pillows - my DH has taken it upon himself to sort it out and was researching on my behalf last night - he too was looking at the dreamgenii so it's good to hear positive reviews from others. I didn't realise how early on you're not meant to sleep on your back. I'd just got over not being able to sleep on my front!

I struggled for support when having my first. No family nearby and friends all working full time as have older children. I actually met 2 ladies from my Mumsnet bus who lived in the same city (one a 10 min walk away) and we met up regularly. I also made 2 lovely friends from the local baby group and we still meet up most weeks and our kids are 3. I actually found I rely and turn to these friends first rather than my old friends who I met at uni and the few years after. It all seems to work out.
We didn't do NCT as my dh is really shy so the thought of chatting to strangers wasn't for him.

The maternity pillow I’m using is a Theraline one. It’s slightly banana-shaped, which means I can easily move it out of the way of my tummy when necessary (it often feels bad at night).

It’s full of micro beads, I think - it’s pretty easy to change the fatness of any individual section quite quickly, which is useful. It’s also plenty long enough for me, although I’ve not yet tried using it as a pillow for my head at the same time as my lower legs.

It’s also apparently ok to use as a breastfeeding pillow, which is a useful bit of extra functionality.

I’ve been very pleased with it. DH can also easily hug me from behind with it, too, as it doesn’t wrap around.

My saviour since having my first baby was a friend of a friend who I had met once before - we found out we were pregnant at roughly the same time and our friend ‘set us up’. We did pregnancy yoga together which meant we saw each other every week and she’s become one of my very best friends. None of our other friends have children and generally feel at very different ‘life stages’ so we just don’t see them that often which does get me down sometimes. My other support network is my Daisy birth group who are all great - I meet up with 2 or 3 of them very regularly, and the others I keep in touch with through a whatsapp group. My family live 2 hours away so I feel very glad to have this.

I'm a little worried about feeling lonely too - my friends either have older children or aren't in that space yet, and we have very few friends who are local. I've signed up to daisy classes and aqua natel starting February so hoping to meet some people through those ☺️

We didn't buy anything big until we got our 20 week scan out of the way yesterday. But we did go shopping last week and choose our pram and car seat, and then ordered it last night as a celebration 😆 it still feels a little early (21 weeks today) but I think time will fly by!

I'm completely dependant on my dreamgenii by the way - that's the one thing I did buy early on, and now I couldn't sleep without it!

I have a long bolster pillow too. It takes up a bit of space. Dh calls it the cock block. I'm happy enough with that arrangement!

We also moved to our current area a few years ago. I tried joining local societies like community choirs but things always just got in the way. I don't really have a work bestie either as most of the people I work with just piss me off. I've got one friend from school but she's all loved up at the moment so I don't see her often. Otherwise, I found toddler groups, swimming etc. Invaluable with my son and made a few friends that way. No close friends as such but people you can arrange play dates with. So, yes I totally get the loneliness. If you've got nct or daisy foundation classes near you go for them. Otherwise I'm thinking about starting a Facebook page for a bump club in the local area.

Nothing about my GTT so far. Getting my hopes up!

I’m glad that I called to ask for my next consultant appointment date though. They told me at the desk that I would get a letter but I could also call today if I wanted. Called today and she said they didn’t have anything booked!

That's good news @Kescilly ! Will you definitely hear today either way?

I have a dream genii which dh got me for Christmas but annoyingly as I was stretching the other night the cover ripped and it’s got a gaping hole. I had a dream genii last time (borrowed from a friend) and the cover then managed never to rip so it’s annoying as they aren’t cheap. It’s a good pillow but it’s a complete pita to change the cover on.

Re local baby friends you will make some! Dd is 7 now and pretty much all her school friends have older siblings, not really babies or toddlers. I’m worried I’ll never get invited anywhere as I think when you have older children you forget how much a toddler runs riot when you go anywhere and how you can’t really have a proper conversation as you’re constantly keeping an eye out for what the toddler is doing. It’s not something that is relaxing or fun for those mums who have had those days finished years ago.

I’m rubbish at making friends irl but I went to a few baby classes and you find everyone wants to make mum friends as everyone is in the same position. I tended to avoid the playgroups as I felt too self conscious going and not really having a purpose and reading about them being cliquey on mn but I went to baby classes and made friends that way and you find people are desperate to meet other mums and get out for coffee and talk to another adult! I’m luckily that my family live very close —including the joy of mil constantly inviting herself over— but to those with no support network get out to some baby groups and classes and you’ll find lots of people looking for other mums to befriend.